Chapter 60

60

TEGAN

“You could have died.”

The orthopedic surgeon, Dr. Tewari, is incredibly blunt. She’s spent the last several minutes in her rumpled green scrubs standing by my bedside, explaining what she has already done and what is still left to be done and mostly scaring the crap out of me. But I can see in her brown eyes that she means it.

“Yes,” I murmur. “I know.”

I gently adjust the monitor strapped to my belly to make sure Little Tuna is doing okay in there. Someone outside in the Labor and Delivery unit is monitoring her heartbeat, and I can see on the screen by my bed that she’s at a steady 120 beats per minute. After they gave me some fluid through an IV, both Tuna and I felt much better. Right now, I’ve also got IV antibiotics running into my other arm. They gave me a small dose of morphine to take the edge off as well. I feel a bit like a pincushion, but I’m obscenely grateful for all the care they have given me in the hours since I’ve been here.

I think we’re going to be okay, Mama.

“We washed out your foot wound,” Dr. Tewari explains. “It was grossly infected, and you also have a trimalleolar ankle fracture…”

She’s droning on about my ankle fracture, but what I don’t know for sure and I’m too scared to ask is whether she thinks I’m going to lose my foot. It looked so awful this morning, and although it’s wrapped in a thick layer of gauze now, I’m sure it looks just as bad, and I still can barely feel it. Worse, I heard somebody outside my hospital room say something along the lines of “might lose that foot.” So it’s not like I’m worrying over nothing.

I wish she would tell me, but I’m also too scared to hear the answer. Anyway, I have to focus on my daughter right now. As long as she’s okay, nothing else matters.

“Also,” Dr. Tewari says in a quiet voice, “the police want to speak with you.”

This statement breaks through my haze. I stare up at the doctor. “They do?”

The police must have found out about Polly and Hank keeping me held hostage. I can’t wait to tell them everything those two did to me. Honestly, I feel sick just thinking about it. If they had taken me to the hospital to begin with, I would never have gotten this sick. If I lose my foot, it will be their fault. If anything happens to Tuna, it will be their fault.

“Yes,” the doctor says. “The officer said your car had been tampered with prior to your accident.”

What?

I thought I couldn’t possibly feel worse than I feel right now, but there it is. Someone tampered with my car and caused my accident? How could that possibly be? Who would do something like that?

Of course, that is a stupid question. I know exactly who would do something like that. A man who did not want me going to the police. A man who would have been happy if I died in that accident. If my baby died.

“I told them you’re not up for it right now though,” Dr. Tewari says. “I sent them away for now, but whenever you’re ready, you can speak with them.”

I definitely need to speak to the police. And after we talk about the car, I’ll tell them all about the couple who held me hostage for four nights. Even though I felt for Hank when he was telling me about his wife’s mental health problems, it doesn’t matter. That woman almost killed me and my baby. She ought to be locked up forever. And her husband should be locked up too for letting her do it.

“But there’s a family member asking to see you,” Dr. Tewari tells me. “If you feel up to it. He says he’s your brother.”

I haven’t seen any familiar faces since I arrived at the hospital, and my heart leaps at the idea that Dennis is outside asking to see me. “Please send him in.”

When my brother peeks his head into my room, rapping softly on the open door, I almost burst into tears. “Teggie?”

“Dennis!” And now I really do cry. It’s just been too much the last few days. Too awful for words. “You’re here!”

“Of course I’m here.” He looks terrible. He’s got dark shadows under his eyes and a few days’ growth of a sand-colored beard on his chin. His fingernails are bitten to the quick, like they always are when he’s anxious about something. “I’ve been driving here every day since they found your car to look for you and harass the police to get off their asses and find you.”

“Yeah.” I wipe the tears from my eyes. “It’s been a rough few days.”

He collapses into the chair by my bed. “Where were you?”

“I…”

I want to tell him the whole story, but I can’t. It’s too horrible and too humiliating. A couple kept me in a hospital bed in their basement and wouldn’t let me leave. Even after the trauma of what Simon Lamar did to me, when I close my eyes, it’s that basement room that I see. I’m afraid to go to sleep because I’ll have nightmares about it.

I’ll save it for the police.

“Teggie?” He picks up my hand, and I realize how ice-cold I must be, because he is so much warmer. “Are you okay?”

I can only shake my head no.

“We’ll talk about it when you’re ready.” He gives my hand a squeeze. “Also, you should know that there’s a man named Jackson Bruckner in the waiting room who has been asking to speak to you. He says he’s a good friend.”

I’m surprised to hear that. “Jackson is here?”

Dennis nods. “He arrived here right after I did. Is he…your boyfriend?”

I flinch, remembering my completely inappropriate fantasies about Jackson before I knew what he was really like. “Hardly. He was helping me with the contract with Simon Lamar. And I don’t want to see him.”

I suddenly feel completely exhausted. Dennis doesn’t have any idea that Simon raped me. I need to tell him everything, but this is not the time. I am too emotionally spent, and I still feel physically awful. Maybe in a few days, we can sit down together, and I can explain to him why I said no to all that money. I’m sure I’ll still be in the hospital by then.

Oh God, how am I going to pay for this hospitalization? And my delivery? And the rest of my life?

A sudden contraction squeezes my stomach and brings tears to my eyes. For the first time, I wish I had just lied and pretended Simon never did what he did to me.

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