The Deed to a Gangsta’s Heart

Chapter 15

15

C allie

6:30 AM

My plan was to get my coffee and leave before Remedy woke up. I couldn’t get last night off my mind. I was shocked to hear what I’d done when I was drunk but I wasn’t completely surprised. He knew how I got when I was drunk. Granted, I didn’t realize I was that far beyond my limit. It had been so long since I’d had moonshine, and I didn’t take into consideration how strong it was and how quickly it snuck up on you. Usually, I never got drunk unless I was with my man.

I couldn’t stop thinking about Remedy’s dick. How quickly things took a turn. One second, I was drowning in shame and the next I was stroking his dick. God. It was curved perfectly and the perfect length. He was long and veiny like I loved. It took everything inside of me not to take him into my mouth, but I received great pleasure swallowing his seeds.

I also received great pleasure hearing his moans and choppy breaths. My eyes squeezed shut as I shivered. Sliding my hand down my throat, I swallowed hard as flashes of his body jerking as he came filled my mind.

“Mornin’.”

At the sound of his voice, I jumped and turned. He looked edible in low hanging pajama pants. His hat was pulled low as he eyed me. For the first time, I felt vulnerable under his stare. Remedy closed the space between us. I held my breath as he reached around me and poured himself a cup of coffee. I thought I was addicted to it, but he had me beat, because he had two or three cups a day.

Our eyes were locked as he poured the warm liquid into the mug I was about to use. I had to keep myself from licking his chest. He smelled so good. I loved when he wore Bleu de Chanel cologne.

“How’d you sleep, pookie?”

“Tossed and turned all night.”

He smiled and licked his lips. “Why’s that?”

“I uh…” Clearing my throat, I looked back to see what else he had to do. “I think it’ll probably be best if we don’t talk about last night. It should just be a onetime thing that we forget happened.”

Remedy dropped his arms briefly, allowing me to put space between us. As I walked closer to the stove he asked, “Would you like me to make you a cup of coffee?”

“Please.”

“Are you attracted to me?”

“Whoa.” I wasn’t expecting him to casually ask me that question. It caused me to sway as I gripped the stove. He chuckled quietly. His raspy voice sounded huskier in the morning, and I couldn’t help but think about how good it would have felt to wake up with him inside of me… moaning in my ear. I watched as he grabbed a second mug for me out of the cabinet. “Where’d that come from?”

“Are you?” His eyes met mine, and I couldn’t look away from his gaze. Those hazel under turned eyes were too beautiful to deny. When he realized I was struggling, Remedy added, “I’m attracted to you.”

“You are?” I almost whispered, taking a small step in his direction.

“I am. I think you’re fucking beautiful , Cal.”

That made me blush as I hung my head briefly. “I’m attracted to you too.”

His voice softened when he said, “Good. I’m glad we got that out the way.” He grabbed the creamer out of the refrigerator. “Do you want me, Callie?”

That one was a little harder to answer. “Do you mean romantically or sexually?”

“Both.” He handed me my coffee. “We can start with whatever you’re most comfortable answering.”

His phone vibrated in his pocket, and I was grateful for the distraction—until he didn’t pull it out. “Do you want to answer that?”

Remedy’s head shook as he chuckled. “There’s nothing anyone can say on that phone that would be more important to me than you.”

Well… I wasn’t expecting him to say that. “Rem, please. Answer. I need a little time to work up the courage to tell you the truth,” I admitted, causing him to smile.

He did as I asked thankfully. The relaxed expression that was on his face instantly turned into a frown the longer he listened to the person on the other end talk.

“Okay. The maintenance team already has a full day. I’ll put in a priority ticket for this. If they can’t get to it this morning, I will personally handle it.” His head bobbed as he smiled. “A caramel cake as thanks would be much appreciated. I’ll see you soon, Mrs. Jennings.”

Remedy released a hard breath as he disconnected the call. “One of our older tenants has a caved in roof from the storm last night.”

“Oh no.”

“I think I’m going to go ahead and take care of it. I don’t want her to have to wait on maintenance.” He stepped toward me. “As much as I don’t want to end this conversation now and give you a million reasons to ignore what you’re feeling, I have to go.”

“Yeah, no, it’s fine. Um… Take care of your business. We can talk later.”

“Promise?”

I nodded and grabbed his coffee mug, then handed it to him. “Promise. Have a good day, pooh.”

He placed a kiss on the corner of my mouth and my nipples hardened. “You too.”

I couldn’t tear my eyes away from him as he left the kitchen. As grateful as I was for the brief intermission, I knew he’d want to finish this conversation later. All I could do was pray something came up that would make him forget. Because if he asked, I’d have to tell him I wanted him—romantically and sexually—and I wasn’t sure I wanted to risk what would come next.

It would be cliché of me to say I feared our relationship being ruined if we took things to the next level, but that was the truth. I didn’t value romantic love enough to risk what Remedy and I had. I wanted love and marriage and babies, but I wanted him as my best friend too. He’d been a constant in my life since I was five. Dick came and went, but what we had, I wanted it to last forever.

I didn’t have the confidence that a relationship between us would be perfect because, quite frankly, I’d never seen Remedy in a serious relationship.

How was I to believe that would change with me?

Women didn’t change men.

They changed only when they wanted to.

He’d never been with a woman for more than a year.

No.

I couldn’t risk what we had for that… no matter how much my feelings for him were changing.

Later that Afternoon

The sound of Luci’s giggles permeated the room. I’d stopped by the school to see how big my classroom would feel as an adult. I had about a month before I’d be able to get the keys and start decorating my classroom, but I was able to stop by and take pictures today. It was so exciting getting ready to buy what I wanted to use to decorate, and I couldn’t wait to actually get started and do my lesson plans for my first year teaching.

I’d taken a long journey to get to this point. A lot of people eyed me curiously when they found out I had my Ph.D. and was only teaching kindergarten. It was important to me to teach in every school in Jasper Lane, and I had specific grades I wanted to teach. I wanted to teach Kindergarten because it was foundational… and the year I met Remedy. I’d also be teaching fifth, eighth, ninth, and twelfth gr ade before transitioning permanently to being a college professor. People may have thought it was weird, but it was my goal, and those that mattered most understood and supported me.

“I’m too tickled. So what did you end up saying? Did you tell him that you wanted him?”

My head shook as if she could see me. I took the call off speakerphone as I prepared to head out. “No. Thankfully he got a phone call and had to leave. He’s expecting us to finish our conversation this evening.”

“Well, you will have had more than enough time to figure out what you want to say by then. Though I feel like the only thing you should be saying is yes.”

Sighing, I closed the door behind me. “Of course I’m attracted to him, but should I really say that? I mean… he’s… You know how important Rem is to me, Luci. What if we’re feeling things because I’m staying with him, and the feelings aren’t authentic?”

“Hmm… I hadn’t thought about that. This is new territory for you. I don’t know though, Cal. Remedy isn’t the kind of man to say things or do things he doesn’t mean. If he’s saying this, I think he’s been feeling it for a while. Maybe he’s just now worked up the comfort or courage to say them since you are staying with him.”

“Hmm… I hadn’t thought about that.” We snickered softly as I headed to my car. “I guess I’m just scared, Lu. I don’t want to ruin our friendship. He’s never been in a serious relationship before.”

“Yeah, well, he’s never been with you.” That truth caused me to smile. “I know you’re afraid to ruin your friendship because he’s your best friend.” She smacked her teeth, and I held in my laughter. She and Remedy were close but certainly not as close as we were, and Luci hated having to share me with him or anyone else. “But think about it, babe. Remedy has handled you with a care I’ve never seen him have with anyone else. I honestly don’t think he’d do anything to intentionally jeopardize your friendship.

“You know him more intimately than me, so ask yourself… Can you trust him with your heart? I think you can. Even if things don’t work out, how many people can say they had the chance to be romantically loved by their best friend? Their soul mate. The person who knows them better than anyone. The person they feel safest with.

“Soul mates have been made into something romantic, but the truth is, romantic relationships usually aren’t the safe space they are supposed to be. You might be able to have that. You’ve always had that with him. I’m not sure why you’re overthinking it and not being as open and honest as you usually are with him. Talk to him and tell him how you feel. Whatever concerns you have, I’m sure he’ll be able to clear up.”

“When you’re right you’re right. Thank you, Lu. Serio—”

“Ah!” There was shuffling in the background before she whispered, “He’s here.”

“Who?”

“The guy I had a two night stand with.”

“A what ?”

“I saw him and we spent the night at a hotel again. I didn’t think he was interested because he didn’t call me but he’s here.”

“At your job?”

“Yes,” she whispered loudly.

“Well, go see what he wants. Call me later. Bye!”

A smile spread my lips as I got into my car. Not just because she’d given me the confidence to be honest with Rem but also because of the excitement of her situation. I didn’t know who the guy was, but she seemed to like him more than she wanted to admit. Hopefully they would get together so we could go on double dates.