The Diary of the Vam’pir Jacques (The Diaries of the Immortals #1)

Chapter Twenty-One.

J ulia seemed at peace now she realised it was time. The ranting stopped, as did the threats against Elizabeth. Julia looked around with the wide-eyed stare of an innocent child. For a moment, I wavered. She felt it and turned back. Julia’s eyes were lucid, and she spoke calmly.

“Chain me to the rock, or I’ll escape. Should I do so, I will return to London and finish what I began.”

In tears, I nodded.

Then, sobbing, I led Julia out to sea and, using some chains stolen from an inn, I tied Julia to the chosen rock. Determined to savour every last minute, I stayed with Julia until dawn arrived. Just before sunrise, I pecked Julia gently on the lips and brow.

“I love you.”

“I know, Jacques, you always have. Just remember, I love you, too. But I need rest, and it’s time. Now go, I don’t want you to die.”

Devastated, I went to leave but turned back and kissed Julia hard again on the mouth. “You’ll always be in my heart,” I murmured before leaving.

I raced across the beach to some caves, where I would be safe from the rays of the sun. Agonised, I curled into a ball and began to cry.

It felt as if I was losing part of myself, and there was nothing I could do. Julia had been by my side for many millennia, and I was the one responsible for ending her life. Guess it was better me than Li’zel or Ami. At least I understood Julia and her pain.

“ Look in the drawers in my bedroom,” Julia sent telepathically.

I never heard from Julia again. Telepathically linking with her, I experienced her death as keenly as I would my own. Julia didn’t cry out until the last minute, and that was my name.

Not as an accusation, but as a thanks.

Julia’s final thought was of me, and she wanted me to know.

My heart went out to her with unspoken love. Julia died surrounded by my love. She accepted that gratefully, and then she was gone.

Miserable, I stayed in the cave for the next two days, crying and grieving, closing myself off from everyone. Then, I pulled myself together. Julia wouldn’t have wanted this, and I didn’t honour her memory.

Wallowing in guilt and self-righteousness was not how Julia would’ve wanted to be remembered. At least Julia was with Kierran now, and that gladdened my heart a little. Not a lot, but it was a small comfort.

I rose, left the cave, and made my way back home to London.

When I arrived, it was late at night, and I headed for Julia’s bedroom. Quietly searching the chest of drawers as she had asked, I discovered a leather-backed book. On opening it, I realised I held Julia’s diary, dated three weeks before she began her killing spree. With it was a will, leaving everything to me and, surprisingly, Elizabeth Barrington.

I pocketed both items and left. Soon, the household would be in an uproar over her absence. Julia would have wished me to take care of them, so I would. For now, a subtle unease whispered through the servants.

I strode along to London Bridge, flicking through the book and intending to destroy it. How long I stood staring at the Thames, I’ve no idea, but I was lost in my own little world.

And so, it was a great shock when a hand roughly turned me round and slapped my face as hard as possible. My teeth rattled, and I had to shake my head to clear the stars that appeared.

“How could you kill her? What harm had Julia ever done to you?” an angry voice asked, and when my vision cleared, I faced Mihal.

Oh great, here we go.

“Why do you care what I do?” I demanded.

Mihal slapped me again.

“Everyone felt Julia’s death. Bastard, you tied Julia to the rocks, you murdered her! Vam’pirs heard her cry your name!” Mihal cried.

“What if I did? I owe you no explanation. How dare you judge me? I am your father, although you have always been ashamed of that fact. Julia asked for help, and I acquiesced.”

Mihal lunged, intending to go for my throat, but I sidestepped, and he fell to the ground.

“Get up, Mihal, or should I call you Michael? Obviously, your given name is not good enough for you now. Does Inka approve? Bet that bitch does, or you wouldn’t have changed it. Inka never liked the name Mihal. She always was damned awkward,” I sneered.

“Leave Mother out of this,” Mihal spat, getting to his feet.

In anger, I returned the slap, and Mihal flew across the bridge and hit a support beam hard, cracking it. Mihal stared at me, dazed. He forgot I was stronger than him.

“Why should I? I assume Inka sent you. Inka hasn’t got the courage to confront me, so she sent her little lapdog. Does Inka think I wouldn’t hurt you? Wrong.” I snarled, kicking out.

Mihal lifted off the ground and flew down the bridge. A murderous rage built, and I stalked Mihal as he scrambled backwards. Now Mihal realised how dangerous I was.

Right then, I wanted to kill him as well as my ex-beloved wife. All the anguish and pain I had at Julia’s death manifested, and I lashed out. Giving Mihal a bloody nose, I knocked my son off his feet again.

“I’m not frightened of you,” Mihal cried, throwing a punch which caught me on the cheek and inflamed my temper even further.

Relaxing all restraint, I swung and heard his jaw break. I fully intended to pummel Mihal to a pulp when someone grasped my arm.

Seti!

“Where did you come from?” I panted, shaking free of his grip.

“Jacques, I sensed the confrontation and came to stop the murder,” Seti replied, calmly inserting his body between Mihal and me.

“Shame you didn’t stop Julia’s,” Mihal spat.

Little shit.

Angrily, I shot around Seti and grabbed Mihal by the throat. My nails dug in, and Mihal’s eyes widened as they pierced his skin. There and then, Mihal understood I had the power and strength to kill him. Mihal’s skin broke, and there was a cracking noise.

Seti tried to free my grip but failed.

Furiously shaking Mihal like a rag doll, I threw him across the bridge and stalked forward again. My face reflected murderous intent; I was unsure what I might have done when Seti intervened again.

“Get out of my way! I gave Mihal life twice, and I can take it back,” I snarled.

I pushed Seti in a temper, and Seti shoved me back.

“Do you really want to kill Mihal?” Seti asked.

“Maybe not, but beating the bastard to a pulp would help a bloody lot. That would make me feel better,” I seethed, trying to get past Seti. The infuriating idiot kept getting in my way, and I was getting nowhere fast.

“Jacques, you’ll regret this in the morning. Leave Mihal alone and calm down. Tomorrow night, you will face the Vam’pirs and accept judgement,” Seti said.

Pure rage swamped me as I reeled back and glared.

“Accept your judgement? Who do you think you are? Nobody casts judgement on me.” Once again, I ducked around Seti and grabbed him this time.

Mihal gasped as, with little effort, I forced Seti’s head backwards. There was a loud cracking noise as a crack appeared in Seti’s throat.

“I’m not even breaking a sweat, Seti. I could rip your head off right here, and nobody could stop me. Listen closely, old friend, for this is the only warning I offer. If anyone comes for me, I shall kill them . I was here first, if anyone leaves, it’s Mihal. Get out of London. Should I find you here again, you will die. Get out of my sight!” I roared.

Seti helped Mihal to his feet, and they both left. In a temper, I punched the bridge, breaking several bones, and swore.

How dare Mihal judge me? How dare Seti take Mihal’s side so blindly? The Vam’pirs would judge me? The judgemental assholes had condemned me without even hearing an explanation. Nobody had a clue what happened. Those bastards thought I killed Julia for fun?

Oh, yes, did you not know? According to my own asshole family, I kill for kicks! That sounds like me, doesn’t it, reader?

Why didn’t Vam’pirs know I would never have harmed a hair on Julia’s head? Julia was desperate and would have carried on killing. Poor Julia had to be stopped, and the only way was to give her the peace she craved.

I glanced at the book that had fallen on the floor. Neither had seen it, and I picked it up and put it in my pocket. I was clueless but knew someone who wasn’t.

Futilely trying to calm down, I walked to Barrington’s townhouse and sought my potential ally. A room, at the rear, held a sleeping Elizabeth. Bending my knees, I leapt onto the balcony and nearly fell off. The damn thing was tiny, and there was barely enough space to stand. I tapped softly on Elizabeth’s window and sensed her stir.

Elizabeth settled, falling back to sleep. I knocked again, keeping an eye on the street below me in case anyone noticed. Elizabeth woke and came to the window. Confusion showed on her face. That changed to concern as she saw me.

“What are you doing here? In fact, how did you get on my balcony?” Elizabeth demanded as I entered the bedroom.

Curiously, I looked around and admitted that the room suited her. The blue and cream decor made for a relaxing atmosphere. There was nothing frivolous, a few knick-knacks furniture, and that was it. In all honesty, it was rather plain, but Elizabeth clearly liked it that way.

“Dear Elizabeth, I beg a favour,” I whispered.

“Jacques, you can talk but softly, Mother is sedated, and David is out. Only servants might hear. However, they’re likely asleep. Explain your presence and how you reached the balcony,” Elizabeth asked again, pulling on a dressing gown.

Elizabeth was handling the late-night visit with aplomb. Elizabeth remained calm despite a man being in her room.

“Dear girl, please sit. I need to share something important, though it might be difficult to hear.

Deliberately taking a deep breath, I began to explain what I was and how I had become a Vam’pir. Elizabeth sat spellbound and made herself comfortable as the night wore on.

Finally, I ran out of things to say, and I waited for Elizabeth’s disgust and condemnation. The only things I held were my crimes against the Hamiltons, Julia’s secret, and her subsequent death.

I was undecided about sharing Julia’s madness and paced for a few moments, unsure whether to tell Elizabeth. In the meantime, Elizabeth absorbed my story.

“Jacques, you have my great sympathy. What a terrible tale you’ve told. No doubt, what you have spoken is the truth. I feel deeply for your situation, but why tell me this? What has this to do with me?”

“Elizabeth, I am unsure what to do with this and wondered if you might have some idea.”

Throwing caution to the wind, I handed the leather book over. Elizabeth flicked it open to the first page. She began reading, stopped, and looked up with faint shock showing on her face.

“What is this?” Elizabeth asked, concern and worry clear in her voice.

“What it says it is. The Ripper’s diary.”

“But it belongs to Julia.”

“Julia was a Vam’pir. Elizabeth, I killed Julia three days ago and helped her get her desired peace. She left me this. Do I give it to the police? Would they dismiss it as the ranting of a madwoman? In all honesty, I’m unsure. Also, I don’t want the rest of my kind to realise what Julia did. I would prefer them to remember Julia as she was and not as the Ripper.”

“Jacques, I understand your dilemma. Of course, you can’t give it to the authorities. Vam’pirs should certainly not know in case they get similar ideas. If you wish, I will keep it here for safekeeping.”

“Would you?” I asked, relief flooding me.

If I left Julia’s diary at home, there was a slight chance that another Vam’pir would discover it. Julia’s sordid little secret would become public knowledge.

Isn’t that what I’m currently doing? Making it public , you ask.

Yes, but with over a hundred years passing, it does not matter anymore. There is nobody alive the secret affects anymore.

Initially, explaining Julia’s actions to others seemed impossible. In fact, now they might realise that I did not kill Julia with ease but with a heavy heart. Julia’s death has haunted me for years. But I am secure in the knowledge I did the right thing, releasing a spirit that was so tortured.

“I wouldn’t offer if I didn’t mean it, Jacques,” Elizabeth said in a slight reprimand.

Grateful, I smiled and handed the diary over. It was a relief to understand that Julia’s madness would not be questioned by all and sundry.

Elizabeth put the book in a secret drawer and locked it away.

“Don’t you want to read it?”

“No, Jacques. Who am I to judge, let alone pry into Julia’s life? Deep down, I’m sure Julia had reasons, however insane they might have been. I can forgive Julia her erroneous thoughts towards me,” Elizabeth said.

“You indeed have a very generous and kind nature. There is more. Julia left you the London townhouse and a quarter of her fortune. Elizabeth, Julia’s wealth is immense. You are quite possibly the wealthiest mortal alive. Julia also left you an estate in Dorset and one in Herefordshire.”

“What? Why? I barely knew Julia,” Elizabeth exclaimed, shocked.

“I think in her lucid moments, Julia realised you were innocent and spoke to a solicitor. The will was written a few days ago,” I replied.

“I can’t accept,” Elizabeth demurred.

“Elizabeth, you will. Because refusing them disrespects the gift Julia is giving you,” I insisted, and Elizabeth bowed her head and flushed at my comment.

“Allow me time to absorb this,” Elizabeth begged.

I nodded. “Of course. Plus, we will have to announce Julia’s death. We will need to give it a few weeks. Vam’pirs are used to faking deaths, so please leave this matter in my hands.”

I rose to my feet and saw that dawn was due to break in a few minutes and quickly took my leave as the sun rose.

Before I sought the shelter of home, I sent out a warning across London. This was my territory, and no Vam’pir or vampire was welcome. Should they remain tonight, I would hunt and kill them. Only one dared defy that command. James Hamilton. Blasted man.

When I entered the house, I shut the door and leaned back on it in relief that Julia’s secret would be held safely. Elizabeth was truly good, to help a virtual stranger.

My heart warmed, and I sensed I was falling in love again.

This love was to differ from Caroline’s lust and Inka’s deep devotion. This love was destined to grow and strengthen throughout the years.

It was not for several months that I realised Elizabeth felt the same. When Elizabeth declared her devotion to me, I offered the gift of eternal life, and damn if Elizabeth didn’t turn it down. That bitterly hurt, but I loved Elizabeth enough to respect her decision.

There was only one shock, and that hounded me for the rest of Elizabeth’s lifetime. A bitter pill to swallow, indeed.

We were attending a ball when we encountered James Hamilton. James was glaring at Elizabeth and me as we shared a joke in the corner. At once, my happiness dissolved, and Elizabeth looked at me in concern.

On following my gaze, she saw James standing there. Elizabeth burst into a happy smile and reached out with her hands as he stalked towards us. I was surprised to realise that Elizabeth knew him, but not as stunned as I was a moment later.

“Jacques, may I introduce my betrothed, James Hamilton?”

I froze.

A vague memory surfaced of Barrington happily gloating that James had asked for his sister’s hand. Damn, they were engaged.

James smiled grimly as he registered my shock. “Didn’t know that, Du Mont?” James said accusingly.

James took Elizabeth’s arm in an obvious gesture of ownership, and Elizabeth looked at me, a little concerned.

“Do you two know each other?”

“Yes, at one time, Du Mont was to be engaged to Caroline, just before her tragic accident. In fact, Du Mont was with Caroline when it happened,” James answered with a bite.

“Oh, I had no idea. My deepest sympathies. James, why have you never told me? I knew, of course, that Caroline had died, but not that she was betrothed to Jacques.”

“It is not something that my family talk about. What’s left of them, I add,” James said, poking at memories.

I had the grace to pale and quickly took my leave of the couple. As I left, James told Elizabeth to stay away because I brought nothing but grief and trouble. Then James came after me and caught me in the street.

“Leave Elizabeth alone! Do you hear Du Mont? I’ll not let you ruin Eliza’s life like you did Caroline and my brothers. Eliza is a good person, and you’ll not destroy her! Our wedding has been cancelled more times than necessary,” James ranted, pushing me up against some railings.

This I allowed, as I understood James was worried about Elizabeth.

“James, I have no intention of hurting—”

“Du Mont, I don’t care what your intentions are. Stay away from Eliza, or I’ll hunt you down and end you.”

I couldn’t help myself and laughed.

“Do you think you could really kill me?” I hissed, putting my face close to his, “You can’t; you’re not strong enough.”

“I can bloody well try.”

“ Stop this! ” a voice demanded, and we spun to see Elizabeth.

Elizabeth’s expression showed she’d overheard and was furious.

“Is this how you behave, threatening my friends? How dare you?” she spat, going up to James and slapping him across the face.

“Elizabeth, you don’t understand. Du Mont is dangerous—”

“James, I understand full well what Jacques is . The question is, do you?”

“You told Elizabeth? Why?” James asked, spinning in shock.

“Because I needed help, and Elizabeth provided it,” I answered. “The question that remains is, have you been honest?”

As I stared at James, it became clear he hadn’t. Elizabeth caught on.

“You’re a vampire too?” she questioned incredulously. “When did you intend to inform me?”

Speedily, I left, leaving them to resolve this themselves.

◆◆◆

Seven days later, Elizabeth sought me out. I’d lacked the courage to face her myself and thought that Elizabeth would not want to know me.

When Marks admitted Elizabeth to my study, I braced for a furious onslaught, yet all she did was sit down calmly.

“James has explained everything.”

“All of it?”

Nervous, I kept clenching and unclenching my hands.

“Yes. Jacques, you behaved disgracefully. How you sleep at night is a mystery. The only decent thing in the whole sorry mess was that you killed Caroline. She would have become another Julia. What happened to the Hamiltons is vile, Jacques.”

“Oh, I’m aware,” I whispered.

That was the end, then. Elizabeth hated the sight of me and didn’t want to see me again. I was surprised when she rose and took my face in her small hands.

“It doesn’t matter how disgusted I am. Strangely, I find myself loving you,” Elizabeth muttered as she kissed me on the lips.

Hope rose within me. “Join with me and become my forever beloved.”

“And what of James?” she asked.

“Leave James to his life. Elizabeth, I don’t care what he does.”

“You have not learned a single thing. Jacques, I love James and will not desert him.”

“But you claim to love me!” I exclaimed.

“I do love you, but I also love James. We are engaged to be married, and although I admit to wondering why it took so long, I have an answer now. James is ashamed of what he is and hates you with all his heart. This remains unchanged, regardless of my actions.

“So, where do we go from here? I love you and will not forgo your company because James is jealous.”

“I do not expect you to. And I have made it quite clear to James that I’ll not stop seeing you.”

Elizabeth rose and stood in front of the window and looked out onto the street. “Their lives are so simple, those people out there. They believe they bear immense burdens, yet their worries are few. Monsters are real.”

I joined her.

“In truth, they do not. The likes of James and I ensure vampires don’t bother them. The Vam’pirs wipe out any coven or rogue vampire that we come across. Vampires do not deserve the longevity or the powers. The dirty creatures don’t wish to learn because power is their aim. That was my mistake with Caroline. I did not notice her thirst for power or Caroline’s petty nature for what it truly was.”

“Why offer eternal life to me? What qualities do I have that Caroline lacked?” Elizabeth asked.

“Kindness and generosity. Elizabeth, you are a clear thinker and do not tend towards the melodramatic. You are calm under pressure and a true lady. Someone that I could love until the day that I finally die.”

Lovingly, I took Elizabeth by the arms and turned her to face me. “My soul mate. Elizabeth, I would have you join the Vam’pirs. The choice remains yours, and I would never force you to become like me.”

“Jacques, I never will turn. I cannot be a Vam’pir. Immortality means nothing. I want to live my life. That is all I wish. If you cannot let me do that or accept the fact that I’ll get old. Leave now, spare us further heartache.”

Gently, I kissed the top of Elizabeth’s head as I embraced her.

“Elizabeth Barrington, I shall enjoy watching you live and hope that you’ll let me be a part of it. I’ll not ask you to leave, James, for I see you will not. All I wish is to share your life.”

“And James?”

“Elizabeth, you cannot marry James.”

Elizabeth sighed and broke out of my embrace.

“We know. The engagement has lasted longer than it should have, and people talk about what ails us. While obvious that we care deeply for each other, but circumstances are against us. I love you both and cannot choose.”

Stepping away, I could see Elizabeth was heartbroken.

“I’ll make your choice,” I said, already grieving Elizabeth’s loss. “Go to James. You loved him first. And I refuse to cause more grief than what I already have. James is owed happiness, and I’ll not take another loved one away from him. Elizabeth, I release you from any claim that I might make on your love for me. Please, Elizabeth, be happy,” I begged, walking to the door and opening it.

Elizabeth hesitated.

“ Go! Just leave me alone,” I added, my voice clogging with unshed tears.

This was one of the hardest choices I had made in a long time, but I had to do it.

Elizabeth could not.

I owed James this, and I would repay my debt. Unable to save Caroline, I could save Elizabeth.

Elizabeth looked at me with tears in her eyes and then fled. I breathed in the scent of her perfume, and then it was gone all too quickly, just like she was. With a giant sob, I threw myself down onto a rug in front of the fireplace and began to cry. This hurt more than anything else. I was tempted to run after her and beg her to come back, but I would not. Forcing Elizabeth to choose between us was wrong. And we couldn’t both share her life without a huge scandal. I wanted to die and curled myself into a ball.

Marks entered the room and left again.

A few seconds later, somebody else entered.

A little shocked, I realised I had been lying on the floor for two hours. I stood up and straightened my clothes and turned to face my visitor. It had to be someone who was close to me, or Marks would never have let them in. Let alone see me in this state.

“You made Elizabeth’s choice?” James said, his whole posture showing tension—and a strongly controlled hatred.

I nodded.

“Have you come to gloat?” I asked bitterly.

“No. I have just spent the last two hours listening to Eliza rant. Eliza loves you as much as me. God knows why. I can’t see what she or Caroline saw in you. But there must be something. You can’t be completely shallow like I believed.”

“Everybody sees different things in people,” I answered, sitting down.

My body was tense and stiff, mirroring James’s own body language.

“I’m prepared to allow Eliza to visit you, however much that goes against my feelings. I cannot stop Eliza, and to do so would be very wrong. Elizabeth is a grown woman, and I fear she might end up hating me. If you become her lover, I do not wish to know about it. Do you understand ?”

I nodded, too afraid to say anything in case James took his offer back.

He turned and left without a backward glance. That very night I searched Elizabeth out and, making sure she was alone, I visited her. We made love in a fever, and she clutched me as if she would never let go.

I wasn’t Elizabeth’s first—I imagine James was—but it didn’t matter.

I indeed watched Elizabeth grow old, and I enjoyed life with her. Elizabeth broke off the engagement to James, but it was clear that they remained lovers, as well as friends. Elizabeth accepted Julia’s inheritance and received several marriage proposals over time but refused them all. She became quite a scandal over the years with her two lovers. Barrington stated countless times that he couldn’t understand her.

In order to spare Barrington embarrassment, Elizabeth moved into Julia’s townhouse and hired Lilly as a companion. Barrington informed me he had ordered Elizabeth to pick one or the other.

While not angry, Barrington was confused as to our intentions. I once informed him I had released Elizabeth from any hold my love held on her and sent her into James’s arms. But Elizabeth’s heart had broken, and James had discovered a resolution.

Elizabeth loved both of us and we were happy to share her life. Barrington wasn’t, and he told her to make a choice. In response, Elizabeth moved into Julia’s house. That angered Barrington even further, and he claimed we had made him the laughingstock of London. I fought several duels over snide comments concerning Elizabeth and him.

In the end, people shut up, or they found themselves confronting me. I wasn’t afraid of them or public opinion.

Finally, the gossip died down and Elizabeth and Barrington were invited to places again. The invites caused me to laugh; they were often addressed to ‘Elizabeth and Guest.’

Nobody quite knew what to put, and so they allowed Elizabeth to answer with which one of us was coming.

To put facts bluntly, a woman couldn’t act the way Elizabeth did, not in our society. There was enough power between the Barringtons, Barrington’s young wife, and our friends that it was soon overlooked. If you included the influence of the Hamiltons and me, people decided Elizabeth wasn’t worth shunning.

Elizabeth did receive snide and nasty comments, mainly from those who had fancied James or me as husband material. She shrugged and ignored them. Elizabeth had made her decision, and now she must stand by it. She’d told James and I that repeatedly whenever we got fired up on her behalf.

Deep down, though, I think Elizabeth enjoyed becoming a scandal and still keeping her popularity. After the initial excitement died down, we settled into a system where I would see her for three nights and James for the next three. James and I never actually rubbed it in people’s faces that we shared the same woman.

We were very discreet about our comings and goings, for Elizabeth’s sake.

I even managed to hold on to my friendship with Barrington after a few arguments. It wasn’t easy at first. Eventually, we overcame it and got back on good terms with each other.

I made it clear I loved Elizabeth and would not harm a hair on her head. Barrington became resigned to the situation. Even so, Barrington would have been happy for Elizabeth to decide between the two of us.

Over the years, we shared laughter and tears. Elizabeth grew older, and yet I never did make the offer to change her again. She knew the offer remained but never once brought it up.

Then, one night in 1915, I walked to her house and was surprised to see James there. James waved for me to enter as I went to leave.

I approached Elizabeth’s bed in fear, and there was a cold shaking within me. I couldn’t say how, but I guessed Elizabeth was seriously sick.

“Elizabeth has pneumonia,” James said as an explanation of his being present.

Anxiously gazing down, I saw her pale, sleeping face and knew Elizabeth wouldn’t recover. I sank to my knees beside the bed and took her hand. Elizabeth stirred faintly and then settled back into sleep.

“How long has Elizabeth had it?” I whispered.

“Four nights. She had a cold but neglected it.”

I shook my head. “Has the doctor visited?”

“Yes, he diagnosed it as pneumonia. If Elizabeth gets through the next few nights, she might have a chance,” James answered, his voice broken.

I put my hand on his shoulder in sympathy, and for once, James didn’t shrug it off. We sat there all night in a bedside vigil. Towards the break of dawn, Elizabeth opened her eyes and smiled.

“My loves,” she murmured. Those were Elizabeth’s final words.

She slipped back into sleep and died later that day. It was April the 19 th , and the time was six minutes past three.

We both wept.

For once, we were united in grief. We did not console one another. That was not acceptable with the level of feeling between us. But we stayed together to mourn the woman that we had both adored. It was the hardest thing to do, sitting there watching someone I loved die.

This time I did it, though. It was not like when I had turned Mihal, for Inka’s sake. Elizabeth chose death, though she had a chance for life. She was just happy to see us together without fighting or arguing. We owed her that, at the very least.

We buried Elizabeth the following week, and I left London, unable to stay. Barrington understood and gave me his blessings. During the First World War, I lost Barrington due to ill health, and I felt I had nothing of Elizabeth left.

I returned for his funeral and was surprised when his widow approached.

“Something belonging to you awaits you at my home. Please come whenever convenient.”

As I looked away, I saw James standing a little way away at Elizabeth’s grave. She had been buried in the family plot.

I approached James with apprehension.