17. Talon
Chapter 17
Talon
Despite the length of my absence, everything remained in order. Commander Navarrese had continued to run my affairs in my absence and give no indication that I’d left my throne. “Prepare the armies for departure. We set sail when the ships are ready.” Once I’d become king, I’d ordered the manufacture of enough galleons to carry my entire army across the sea. When I’d made that demand, Commander Navarrese had looked slightly puzzled but obeyed the order. It took a long time to build that number of ships, and I was glad I hadn’t dragged my feet on it. Otherwise, this battle would have been delayed even longer. “And I need to speak to the blacksmith.”
“Right away, Your Majesty.” He gave a slight bow then left the room.
I sat behind the desk and looked at all the matters that required my attention and realized none of it mattered. Not a single scroll. Not a single complaint from one of the stewards or the Scion Priest in his church to the west.
Nothing mattered—because I finally had what I’d wanted all these years.
Who would oversee all this nonsense when I was dead? I didn’t know. Perhaps it would be Calista since she was the heir to Scorpion Valley and I had already slain all of King Theodore’s kin. Or perhaps it would be Queen Eldinar, extending her borders to the south and ruling over the humans as well as the Southern Isles. Either one was a good choice.
Calista would marry and pass her bloodline through her children… And I couldn’t finish the thought. Because Calista would only marry for love, and that would mean she loved someone other than me.
I thought I was too angry to care, but perhaps there wasn’t enough anger to ever stop me from caring.
The blacksmith entered and disrupted my thoughts. “You called, Your Majesty?”
“I need armor.” I came around the desk then pulled out the key from its hiding spot.
“Do you have an issue with the armor I already provided to you?”
“No.” I unlocked the door to the cabinet built into the wall and pulled out the few black diamonds I’d managed to find. “You will flatten a third of these diamonds and secure them into my armor. Anywhere is fine.” I started to remove the pieces of my outfit and laid them on the table.
“And the rest?”
“You’ll make a new armor set with Calista’s measurements. Include a third.”
“And the remaining third?”
“Make another set similar to Calista’s, but pretend she’s four inches taller.”
It was clear he wanted to ask questions, but he didn’t want to ignite my anger. “It shall be done.”
“I need it as soon as possible.”
“Then I’ll get to work on this now, Your Majesty.” He gathered the pieces on the desk and departed my office.
I sat alone in my royal chambers, nursing a glass of scotch in front of the fire, blocking out Khazmuda because I didn’t want to entertain his questions when I was pissed off and drunk.
“Your actions are admirable, Talon Rothschild.”
My eyes remained on the fire even though I knew he was in the armchair beside me, where he usually appeared during these late-night conversations.
“It’s a lot easier to lose someone if you hate them.”
I didn’t want to look at him. Couldn’t get the last image of him out of my head, a monster eating a bowl of someone’s soul. I had been young and foolish when I’d traveled to his lands and made that agreement. Too lost in my rage, I didn’t care about forfeiting my life and soul…until I found a reason to live again.
“And she definitely hates you.”
I’d hated her in that moment because of the way she’d spat all over me. The way she’d jumped to the most ridiculous conclusions instead of seeing the love I had for her written all over my face. All I had to do was tell her how I felt and correct her… But Bahamut was right. It would be easier for her in the end.
But it wouldn’t be easier for me.
“You’ve found the dragons, as I knew you would. You’ve convinced the elves to come to your aid, something I hadn’t foreseen. And now, with the armies you rule, you’ll sail to the Southern Isles and finally get your wish. How does it feel?”
Empty .
“How does it feel to get everything you’ve ever wanted?”
It was what I’d wanted in the past, but now everything had changed. I loved a dragon the way I loved my brother. I’d fallen for a woman the way I’d fallen for Vivian. I’d finally come to know peace after searching for it on the seas for decades. Now, what I wanted more than anything was to go back in time and undo what couldn’t be undone.
“I thought you would be more excited, Talon. As excited as I am.”
I wanted him to leave but wouldn’t ask him to go. He could take me to the underworld whenever he wished, give me another taste of what waited for me in a black-and-white world below. The last thing I wanted to do was provoke him to take me away from this world for days like he’d done before.
He hadn’t shown me his true colors until the decision was made. Until there was no way to go backward, only forward. I’d have to face an eternity in his company, and I wasn’t sure how I would do that when I couldn’t even look at him now.
“You won’t look at me.”
“I’m afraid of what I’ll see.” Not the handsome man with the blue eyes and shiny armor. But the monster that was eight feet tall with sharp teeth that dripped with his drool. A being unlike any other I’d seen in the flesh.
“You should be afraid, Talon Rothschild.”
Khazmuda pushed into my mind over and over, like a needle against the skin, applying enough pressure until the skin was punctured. Blood flowed as his voice sounded in my head. You’ve ignored me for two days. You will ignore me no longer.
I was just as angry as the moment I left. I didn’t desire company, not even Khazmuda’s.
Talon.
The blacksmith is producing the armor. The ships and army are being prepared ? —
Those things don’t concern me. You’re what concerns me. I watched your interaction with Calista but couldn’t hear the words.
They weren’t meant to be heard.
We’re so close to battle, and you’re spending that time attacking Calista ? —
Trust me, it’s the other way around.
Talon . His frustration was audible in his tone. What happened?
I knew I couldn’t dodge Khazmuda. Not when we were connected like this. I told her I didn’t want anything more, and now she assumes I just wanted to fuck her and leave her. After every conversation we’d had, every moment we’d shared, the fact that I’d told her about Vivian, how could she possibly believe any of that horseshit?
I think that’s a fair assumption.
I felt my anger rise again. How?
If you don’t want anything more than what you have, then that means it’ll never be more than what it is. Which means you don’t want her to be your mate and you don’t want to have hatchlings with her. That means you think she’s an unsuitable partner.
It means I think I’m going to die in the battle, and I would be a fucking asshole to let her believe we would be together forever when I knew full well we wouldn’t. Maybe I look like an asshole, but I’m just trying to protect her.
You aren’t going to die, Talon.
I closed my eyes because the pain was too much.
I will burn anyone who comes near you.
I didn’t speak. Couldn’t do it.
When Khazmuda spoke again, he was gentler. Whether you live or die, all you have is this moment. And you’re wasting it. Of all people, I thought you would realize that better than anyone.
If I’d known my last night with Vivian would be the last time we were together, I would have done things differently. We hadn’t fought, but we hadn’t made love. Her pregnancy had made her insecure about her body, and no matter how much I’d shown my desire, she’d dismissed my advances. Now, I wished I’d done something more to make her feel attractive. I wished I’d made more of an effort to spend time with my mother and sheathed my favoritism for my father. Even if everything was going to end the same, I had a few things I would have done differently.
After Calista left with Inferno, you sat exactly where you sit now, simmering in your anger and wasting time until you finally did something about it. When General Titan marched on the forest, you dug your boots into the earth like a stubborn mule until the very last possible second. Now, here we are again, sitting here and wasting time. Why don’t you learn, Talon?
Shame flooded me.
You can’t change what’s to come. But you can change every moment that comes before it. I could die. Calista could die. All three of us could perish. And I think it would be a lot easier to die knowing everyone I love knows how much I love them. I know your heart, Talon. I know it feels the same way.