16. Calista
Chapter 16
Calista
The sight of all the dragons gathered together was so powerful I forgot my misery…just for a moment. With different colored scales and in a variety of sizes, they were a spectacle. Marvelous and beautiful, wonderful to behold.
Queen Eldinar walked beside me as we approached Macabre, the dragon that was bigger than most of the others, his scales dark like smoke from a forest fire. Upon her approach, he lowered his belly to the earth so he could dip his head and regard her face-to-face.
Macabre didn’t wear the vicious stare he had when he looked at me. His expressions weren’t as discernible as they were on humans, but the love was still visible in his gaze.
It was the first time I saw the good side to Macabre, witnessed all the things Queen Eldinar had said.
She stepped forward and raised her palm to feel his snout, to glide her hand across the soft scales. His teeth were bared and visible, but she stayed below his lip, his warm breaths making her hair fly every time he exhaled.
I assumed they were speaking with their minds.
But I felt like I knew the details just watching them interact. It reminded me of the way I embraced Inferno, the way my heart burned when I looked upon Khazmuda.
A shadow approached, a black contrast against the blue sky, and I turned to see Khazmuda walk over with Talon at his side—and my uncle.
My eyes went to Talon against their will.
His eyes were already on mine.
I held his stare for a moment, feeling the pain and disappointment all over again. Then I flicked my gaze away and ignored him, pretended I hadn’t noticed him in the first place. I was still angry about our conversation, but I was even more pissed that he’d let me walk away. That he’d let me slip out of his fingers after everything he’d done to earn me.
Inferno approached from the left, his scales hot as fire.
I forced a smile when I looked at him, but I didn’t feel it deep inside.
Queen Eldinar stepped back from Macabre. “This is a historic moment for all our races. The union of dragons, elves, and humans. I’ve witnessed many things in my long life, but I did not expect this.” She turned to regard Talon as he stood beside Khazmuda. “I think the first thing we need to do is bury the animosity that lingers among us. We’re allies now. We will fight for one another. We will die for one another.” She continued to stare at Talon and silently encouraged him to speak.
I didn’t want to look at him. Tried to resist the urge. But my eyes shifted to his on their own.
He still looked at me, like he didn’t care about the queen or Macabre, only me. After a long stare, he shifted his gaze to Macabre. “It takes tremendous courage to do what is hard instead of what is easy. I meant those hurtful words when I said them, but they’re moot now because you’ve proven just how mistaken I was. It means the world to have you here—and I hope you will forgive my harshness.”
Macabre stared at him for a long time.
Queen Eldinar shifted her gaze from Talon to the gray dragon as the silence lingered.
I won’t forgive you today or tomorrow. But one day, if we live long enough, I will.
That was exactly what I expected from him. “I’m sorry for the way I spoke to you as well.”
Macabre shifted his gaze to me. You were passionate, but not disrespectful. There is nothing to forgive.
Queen Eldinar addressed us again, turning her head back and forth between us because I stood so far away from the other three. “It’s time we begin our preparations. Now that the Death King is our ally, we have nothing to fear from the kingdoms across the mountains. The dragons will be safe outside the forest for the time being.” She looked at Talon. “Do you have a plan, Death King?”
Talon stood there in his armor and uniform, his cape flapping elegantly behind him in the wind, making him look like the king he was born to be. Handsome and tall, he looked like a living portrait that would line a hall of kings who came before him. “I need to prepare my army to sail across the sea. The journey will be long and arduous.”
“And will they sail straight to the Southern Isles?” Queen Eldinar said.
“No,” Talon said. “I have other allies in the south who will come to our aid. If we sail to their lands, they will grant us hospitality until we’re prepared for battle.”
“Who are these allies?” Queen Eldinar asked.
Talon hesitated for a moment, as if he didn’t want to say. “Pirates.”
My uncle turned to regard him in slight judgment.
Queen Eldinar said nothing.
Talon felt the unspoken pressure to speak. “The Southern Isles have a substantial fleet of ships. This battle will take place by land, sea, and sky. They’re the best sailors I’ve encountered, have taught me everything I know, and we need someone with expertise to help so many ships arrive there safely and discreetly.”
Queen Eldinar continued to stare at him. “It’s difficult for me to accept an alliance with plunderers and thieves…but I trust your judgment, Death King.”
“We have no other choice,” he said. “We can’t sail across the sea for weeks and go straight into battle. My soldiers need sustenance and rest. And we need time to study the terrain before we move in. We only have one chance of success. It must count.”
“Then you plan to return to the Southern Isles yourself?” Queen Eldinar asked.
Talon was quiet for a long time, like the idea of returning home made him sick. “Yes. I need to know what to expect. I need to know the number of dark elves. The size of their army. If the dragons are still enslaved. It’s been over twenty years since I’ve been in those lands, and it must have changed in that time.”
“What if you’re recognized?” the queen asked.
“Anyone who supported my family was killed long ago. The only people who would recognize me would be my uncle and his immediate family. All I have to do is stay away from them—and I intend to.”
“And I can investigate in his stead as well,” I said. “If he needs to avoid detection.”
Talon turned to look at me.
I was careful to avoid his stare.
A heavy silence landed on us all.
Queen Eldinar spoke again. “Then we shall return to Riviana Star. The dragons will be safe outside the forest. Their only enemies are the Behemoths and monsters to the east, but they’ll be no match for forty dragons.”
No .
She continued. “The Death King will prepare his army to set sail, and we’ll join his fleet. Khazmuda will guide the dragons to the hideout. Then Talon will investigate the Southern Isles, and we’ll begin our assault. Any objections?”
It was quiet.
“Then we’re in agreement,” she said. “Let’s ride.”
It was a wearying couple of days. The return journey felt far longer without Talon by my side. We rode separate horses, and instead of sharing a tent with my uncle, I slept with Inferno, perfectly warm under his wing while I was tucked in my bedroll.
But I was sad. Lonely. Empty.
Talon didn’t come for me, and other than the stares he gave me whenever we were in the same vicinity, it seemed like he had no interest in doing so. When he said he wouldn’t give me more, he meant it.
That made me feel worse, because none of it seemed real anymore.
I collected a pile of rocks and gathered sticks from the countryside for a campfire, and Inferno lent his fire to light it. Then we sat across from each other in silence. Inferno had hunted when we’d made camp and eaten his catch whole.
I continued to eat the nuts and berries in my pack. It was enough for me, but probably because I didn’t have an appetite. My misery was like a cloud that constantly rained on me. I didn’t understand how a love could burn so hot and then turn to ash so quickly.
I FEEL YOUR SADNESS.
My eyes lifted from the campfire. “Sorry.”
YOU’VE BEEN SAD SINCE I ARRIVED.
“I would turn it off if I could.”
WHAT HAPPENED BETWEEN YOU AND TALON? YOU ASKED ME TO GIVE HIM A CHANCE, BUT NOW YOU DON’T EVEN SPEAK.
My eyes moved back to the fire. “It’s complicated.”
WE’RE AN INTELLIGENT RACE.
“I didn’t mean you wouldn’t understand. I just mean… I don’t even know what happened. We were happy, and then I told him…” The humiliation always stopped me. When I told him how I felt, I’d expected him to say it back, and then we would make love in the tent…and everything would feel right. “I told him I loved him, and he didn’t say it back.”
Inferno said nothing.
“Said he didn’t want to take it any further than where we are.”
Inferno blinked, his eyes like orbs in the firelight. I’M NOT VERSED IN ROMANCE, SO I’M UNSURE WHAT TO SAY.
“You don’t need to say anything.”
BUT IF YOU LOVE HIM, THEN WHY DOES HIM NOT LOVING YOU CHANGE ANYTHING? LOVE IS UNEQUIVOCAL TO DRAGONS. IT IS INFINITE AND UNCONDITIONAL.
“Nothing will change the way I feel for him. But it’s hard to give yourself to someone completely while they only give a very small piece. And his reasoning…he says he doesn’t want to go further because he’ll probably die in the battle.”
THEN IT SOUNDS LIKE HE’S TRYING TO PROTECT YOU.
“By breaking my heart and destroying the time we have left together?” I asked incredulously.
GOOD POINT. BUT IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU’RE THE ONE DESTROYING IT BY CHOOSING TO LEAVE.
I couldn’t believe Inferno, of all beings, would take Talon’s side. “The whole thing sounded like an excuse. He even admitted he never wanted our relationship to deepen the way it has. I think I was just someone he wanted to fuck, but it lasted longer than it should. And now I want a commitment when he doesn’t. So, he’s blaming it on the battle and other nonsense instead of just being straight with me. I left him because I’ve already given him too much, and I won’t give anymore.”
IN MY brIEF INTERACTIONS WITH TALON, HE’S SEEMED LIKE A MAN WHO CUTS STRAIGHT TO THE CHASE AND DOESN’T PLAY GAMES. SO WHY WOULD HE MISLEAD YOU?
“Because I’ve been through a lot of shit, and he doesn’t want to kill me.” He couldn’t bring himself to say that I meant nothing to him, that I was just a woman he wanted to screw in the meantime, but not for a lifetime. He couldn’t dump me the way he did with other women because it was more complicated than that, so he played games instead.
DO YOU WANT ME TO EAT HIM?
“No.”
BURN HIM?
“I appreciate the offer, but no.”
I CAN TAKE JUST AN ARM OR A LEG.
I smiled because I realized he was trying to make me laugh. “No, Inferno. I don’t think Khazmuda would like that.”
I DON’T KNOW. KHAZMUDA HAS TOLD ME HOW IRRITATING HE CAN BE.
“It’s okay, but thank you.”
He continued to stare at me over the fire. I’M SORRY YOU’RE HURTING. IT MAKES ME HURT.
“I’ll be okay.” I said it as sincerely as I could. But I felt the pain of the lie I told. It was hard to imagine ever feeling okay, not when the first time I had ever felt okay was when Talon came into my life. Now I had to go back to my old life…alone. “Eventually.”
When we finally arrived at Riviana Star, my entire body was tired. Sore from riding the horse all day and stiff from sleeping on the hard ground. I’d felt this way when we’d boarded the galleon, but it was far more manageable with Talon. My hand rested on his heart when we slept at night. His muscular legs between my thighs when we made love. Inferno was a great companion, but he would never replace the love I’d lost.
We stopped outside the forest, and Queen Eldinar instructed some of her men to care for the dragons in the fields outside the line of trees.
Talon approached to address the queen, but his eyes were on me. “Prepare to depart Riviana Star and meet me in Shadow Stone when you’re ready. My men will prepare the ships for our departure.”
“We’ll meet you there, Death King,” she said. “It’s been a very long time since I’ve been in the lands of humans. I’m not sure what they’ll think of us.”
“They’ll welcome you because I command it,” Talon answered. “The world will be a different place once this battle is won.”
“I hope so,” she said. “Travel well.”
He gave her a nod and stepped away.
We’d been apart for days, but it would still be strange to watch him leave my side. We’d been inseparable for a long time now.
Instead of leaving our presence, he came closer to me.
Queen Eldinar dismissed herself and turned to the forest.
My heart immediately jumped out of my chest like it had wings. The terror and the excitement of his proximity drove me into an internal frenzy, but I managed to keep a straight face as I met his gaze.
His hard eyes stared into mine for a long time, for seconds that grew into a solid minute.
I still felt it. That desire that burned me to ash then consumed everything around me. That profound depth of emotion that made it hard to breathe. But there was also rage…so much of it.
“I need you to come with me.”
Disappointment kicked me right in the stomach. Days had passed and he didn’t chase me, so I’d come to accept he would never rectify this. But he somehow continued to disappoint me, destroy what little hope I had left. It took me several seconds to speak. “Why?”
“The black diamonds.”
“That doesn’t concern me.”
“I need my blacksmith to fuse the diamonds into our armor.”
“Then take my armor with you and bring it back when you’re done?—”
“Calista.”
I turned silent at the sound of my name, hearing the power in his voice.
“I don’t want us to be apart.”
“Why?” I managed to keep my gaze on his even when I wanted to look away, to seem braver than I really was.
But his eye contact was more intense than mine. Far more potent and intrusive. “You know why.”
“I don’t know anything anymore.”
His eyes gave a wince like I’d stabbed him.
“I’ve been miserable all by myself, and you seem perfectly fine.”
“I haven’t felt this shitty in a long time.”
I felt myself step back, wanting to dismiss his ire as well as his emotion. My eyes shifted away because it was painful to look at him and know he was no longer mine. “I’m not coming with you.”
“You are coming with me.”
“Then you’ll have to make me,” I snapped. “Because I don’t want to see or speak to you if I don’t have to. And if you don’t want to look like the biggest asshole in the world in front of Macabre and his kin, then you’ll just go.”
His eyes contained his rage, building up further because it had nowhere to go. “I never said I didn’t want to be with you.”
“I know what you said. I’m someone you fuck but not someone you marry?—”
“That is not what I said.” He raised his voice so loud that it drew attention from the nearby elves as they dismounted their horses and prepared to return to the forest. He looked so angry, he was on the verge of unleashing his army of the dead to rip me apart.
“But I know it’s what you meant.”
His eyes shifted back and forth between mine at lightning speed. “I will die in this battle?—”
“If you really believed that, you would never let me go. You would hold on to me so tight, I wouldn’t be able to breathe. Soon, you’ll be King of the Southern Isles and the Northern Kingdoms, and I’m not good enough to be your wife?—”
“I told you Vivian was of low stature, and I married her anyway.”
“You loved her, and you don’t love me,” I said. “That’s the difference.”
His face turned beet red like he was so mad he might do something he would regret. The veins popped in his forehead like rivers on a map. The fire in his eyes burned so brightly, it produced heat. He trembled slightly, all of his rage packed inside his body and dying to burst out. “Maybe what we had wasn’t real for you to think so little of me. For you to assume that I would treat you like some whore who got too attached. To ever think, for a fucking second, that I don’t care about you.”
I did my best to fight the tears that wanted to bleed from the wound in my chest.
He continued to tremble like he was about to strike me.
His words hurt me. They hurt me when they should provoke nothing.
He abruptly turned around and walked off. Moved through the sea of people to where Khazmuda waited in the field. His eyes were on Talon like he watched the entire thing, aware of Talon’s pounding rage through their connection.
Talon climbed up Khazmuda's side quicker than I’d ever seen him, and then Khazmuda launched from the ground and into the sky at breakneck speed. Then they were gone…turning into a speck within seconds because Khazmuda flew like he feared for his life.
I stood there alone…and felt my soul crack in two.