Chapter 18
18
By the time Amador and I made it back to the great house, everyone else had already returned. It had been a while, and obviously we had worried them. Qian ran up to us, breathless. “Are you all right?” he asked. “We started to wonder what happened to you.”
“Here’s your flower,” I said, holding it out to him.
His eyes went wide. “You actually found it?”
“You didn’t think we would?”
“We looked everywhere and didn’t find any.”
“Then I guess we’re better at hunting than you are,” I said.
Qian’s mouth lifted up into a smile, and he laughed. “I think so. Then I owe you this.”
He took my hand and kissed my knuckles. It shocked me how soft his lips were, and I almost flinched away, but I was hypnotized by his touch. I could smell him—bergamot, just like the flower.
“Your prize,” he said, looking up at me under his brows.
“Thank you,” I said, taking my hand back. My skin felt electric where his lips had touched it. I didn’t know he could rattle me like this.
“What happened here?” he asked, moving to Amador next.
“We got caught in some kind of net,” Amador said.
Qian’s eyes widened again. “A net? Ah!” He cursed. “We must have missed one. It was supposed to catch the monster. But it seems it caught the maidens instead.”
“Well, the flowers were right by the trap,” I said, lifting my chin. “Clearly you weren’t paying enough attention when you laid it.”
“Clearly not. I apologize, Grand Duchess Amador. Truly, if there’s anything I can do—”
“I just need to go to the infirmary. Nothing to worry about.” She looked down her nose at him. “Though I won’t be so forgiving next time.”
I took Amador by the elbow on her uninjured arm. “If you’ll excuse us,” I said to Qian, and left. I could still feel him watching me, even with my back turned, and I tried not to think about how I liked the way he had kissed my hand.
In the infirmary, we found Nix and Lucas. They were chatting, just like old times, and when we walked in, their smiles fell.
“Amador’s hurt,” I said.
Amador held out her wrist, and Nix looked flummoxed. Lucas went to her with concern all over his face.
“What happened?” he asked Amador, putting a calming hand on her elbow, guiding her to sit.
“We fell into one of the traps Qian set,” she said.
Nix made a disturbed noise, a kind of squawk that reminded me of a chicken’s. “What?! That’s so irresponsible of him! Why didn’t he warn you? You’re lucky you didn’t get more hurt!”
Amador said, “Yeah. Fortunately, I wasn’t alone.”
Lucas looked at me, and I felt the heat rising in my cheeks.
I wanted to tell him I knew what I knew, but I didn’t want to go back on my promise to Amador, especially so soon. I would pretend I didn’t know her secret for as long as she needed me to.
Even though I knew the truth about him, still he couldn’t be mine. It was no matter that I was a queen; I couldn’t interfere in the betrothal between members of the court. Amador’s family was determined to see her marry him, and all I could do was watch from afar and know that it was because he was a good person who would not turn his back on his friend.
“I should have been there to protect you,” he said to Amador.
“It’s nothing to worry about at all,” she said.
Nix gently took her wrist and turned it over, inspecting the injury. “Nothing to worry about? You broke bones,” she said, face pale.
I heard someone come into the infirmary, and I turned around to see General Heng. He had on his usual dark uniform, his knife ready at his side. “Sir Lucas,” he said.
“What?” Lucas asked. I knew he didn’t mean to sound so sharp, but he was frustrated. I didn’t blame him.
“Prince Qian requests your assistance.”
“What for?”
“We need you to search for any more traps that we may have missed. If you would be so kind as to follow me.” He didn’t wait for Lucas before he left.
Lucas let out a sigh and looked at Amador. “Go,” she said. “I’m in good hands.” Her smile was kind, her eyes bright, and there was a softness in them that I knew was true affection—a result of years of friendship.
Reluctantly, Lucas nodded and bowed to me before he left. As he did, I caught a whiff of him, the smell of steel, like a freshly sharpened blade. It brought me back to that cave, the closeness of him, the desire pulsing through his veins, and I tried my best not to linger on it. Knowing the truth only made me want him more.
I was cursed in more ways than one. I was cursed to become a monster, and I was cursed not to be able to love him.
“What happened, exactly?” Nix asked as she started working on Amador’s wrist.
Amador explained the trap, but I filled in the rest.
“You’re honestly really lucky,” Nix said. “It could have been so much worse.”
I didn’t want to think about it. Guilt was hard to shake, even if I hadn’t turned into a manananggal. The idea that it could have been worse was bad enough.
Amador glanced at me briefly before looking away, swallowing thickly. I knew she was itching to ask me more about what was happening to me, but she kept silent while Nix worked on her hand.
None of us spoke, and the air around us felt full with all the things that went unsaid. I couldn’t take it anymore.
“Amador knows that I’m a manananggal,” I said.
Nix gasped. “What?”
“I’m getting worse. I was angry, stuck in that net, and I could feel the manananggal trying to take over. I didn’t want to hurt Amador, so I told her.” It was a reality I had to face. “The manananggal isn’t just coming out at night anymore. She’s getting stronger.”
“Is that what Gani told you when he asked me to leave?” Nix asked.
Before I could answer, Amador interrupted. “Wait, so is that why there was a manghuhula here? Was he helping you?”
“We thought he could cure MJ,” said Nix. “MJ hasn’t always been like this. He thinks that magic is making her turn.”
“And I’m running out of time,” I said.
“What?” That was news to Nix. I hadn’t told her about the diary yet, so I did now.
I told them both everything, about the diary, about the mausoleum for Yara, the empty tomb, the full moon, all of it. I had to fill Amador in on most of the details. “At the full moon, it’ll be permanent. If I’m like Yara, I’ll be a manananggal forever. It’s what her diary said.”
“We have to tell Gani right away,” said Nix.
“Not sure what he can do about it,” I said. “Besides, he’s long gone by now.”
“Then you have to tell Elias. You can’t keep this a secret anymore. Maybe he can help!”
I knew he was the second-best person to talk to, but I wasn’t sure what else could be done. “Maybe. But…what if it’s too late?”
Nix pressed her lips together and looked back at Amador’s wrist, tracing her hands over her skin as she worked her magic.
No one spoke again for a long time. My thoughts swirled with everything that’d been happening. With Lucas. With Qian. With Nix. And now with my destiny. Was I really doomed? I was so tired, my thoughts were difficult to contain, hardly slowing down long enough for me to take a breath.
I rubbed my eyes with the heels of my palms and forced myself to think. Too much was at stake for me to lose any sense of myself now. I had to stay strong. But it was getting harder every day.
“All done,” Nix said. She and Amador locked eyes briefly before Amador stood up, rubbing her newly healed wrist.
“Thank you.” She cleared her throat and added, “Thank you, Nix .”
“Don’t mention it,” she said.
The air buzzed with tension, and their gazes lingered on each other for a little too long before Amador flattened her hair, tidying any wisps that had escaped, and left. Admittedly, it was odd to see Nix helping Amador, let alone Amador actually thanking her.
When Amador was gone, Nix let out a deep breath, like she’d been holding it.
“You okay?” I asked.
“Why do you keep asking me that?” She tidied up the infirmary, setting bottles and herbs back into their shelves and drawers. “You’re the one we should all be worried about!”
I tried to laugh at the misery of it all, but it sounded weak.
“I think that’s the first time I’ve ever seen you and Amador not biting each other’s heads off,” Nix said.
“I know. It’s a new feeling, for sure. We might be on the same team now.”
The tips of Nix’s ears were pink. She passed me, and I caught a whiff of mint.
“That would be lovely,” she said.