Chapter 19
19
There was a knock on my door the next morning, and I opened it to find Amador standing there with a stack of books that was nearly as tall as she was.
Nix, who had been helping me tidy up my mess of a room from last night’s transformation, chimed in from behind me, “Need any help?”
“Yes, please,” Amador said. I didn’t think I’d ever heard her say the word please before in all the time I’d known her.
Amador and Nix spread out all the books on my bedroom floor, arranging them into piles based on subject. Amador only briefly glanced at the manacles I’d used last night, still lying on my bed.
I had started to change before sunset last night. I had tried to stay in my own mind, but it was one of the most difficult things I’d ever done. It was as if some magical power was constantly dragging me down into inky blackness. Even if I paced my room, did jumping jacks and yoga, read horror books, it wasn’t enough. I’d blink and find myself on the floor, with no recollection of ever lying down.
Once, I woke up standing at the window, my hand already on the latch. It was terrifying. It was like I’d interrupted myself, like I wasn’t in control of my own body, and the harder I fought it, the more it wanted to take over. Nix had barely managed to get the manacles on me in time.
From the safety of the bathroom, Nix had said she heard me talking to myself, laughing, too. I didn’t remember doing anything like that. The rules were changing; the manananggal wasn’t coming out just with the setting sun anymore. My time being human was growing shorter as the date of the full moon drew closer.
“What is all this?” I asked Amador, staring at the books.
“Helping you, duh,” she said, like it was a stupid question. “This one here is about folklore and mythology.” Amador pointed to one pile that consisted mostly of illustrated stories. Nix picked up the top book and flipped through it. “This one is history, and this one is a random stack I thought might be helpful.”
“Where’d you find them?” I asked.
“The library. Where else?”
“I never took you for the studious type.”
“Amador is full of surprises,” Nix said, and then she went pale. “Not that I would know.”
Amador pretended like she hadn’t said anything and helped herself to the breakfast that had been brought up for us. I glanced at both of them, sensing that there was something they weren’t telling me, but I kept my thoughts to myself.
While we ate, the three of us scoured every book Amador had brought. It helped that Amador had grown up in Biringan, so she had heard all the stories of the manananggal before, but she was lacking knowledge about myths from our world. It was so normal seeing monsters in movies and reading about them in books, it was basically common knowledge.
“So, explain to me what a vampire is again,” Amador said. “How are they created?”
“Becoming a vampire can happen a few different ways,” Nix said. “Sometimes they’re bitten and ‘infected’ in a sense, other times they’re killed and then resurrected, and sometimes they’re not turned but born that way.”
“A manananggal isn’t so different, I guess,” Amador said. “They walk around like anyone else during the day, but at night, they hunt for their victims. Some of them don’t even realize what they’re doing. It’s like they have two different minds in one body.”
“That’s what it feels like,” I said. “And I only have until the full moon to figure out a way to stop turning into a manananggal.”
“Like what happened to Yara?” Amador asked, and I nodded. “Well, I’d never heard of her before, especially not in class.”
“I think she died,” I said. “Her diary said that she was becoming less human every day. After that, she was never seen again.”
“It still doesn’t explain why her tomb was empty,” Nix said.
I nodded. “I think she became the lady of the mountain. I…I think I saw her ghost.”
Both Nix and Amador leaned forward. “You did?” Nix asked. “Where? When?”
“Yesterday, before Amador and I got caught in the trap.”
Both their eyes got round, and they stared at each other. I think they believed me. Why would I have any reason to lie?
“But how could Yara have possibly turned into a ghost haunting the mountain?” Nix asked.
“I don’t know.” I didn’t mean to sound so defeated, but it definitely came out that way.
Amador tugged another book from the stack toward herself. “Obviously, some kind of magic has to be at play. We just need to find out what.”
We got straight to work, doing all the research we could. But trying to find any information about a cursed princess was nearly impossible. Without any proof or documentation of what happened back then, it was hard to know what we were looking for.
As the day stretched on, it became harder for me to keep my eyes open, and the urge to nap in the warm afternoon sun started to take over. I had only meant to close my eyes for a little while, and I didn’t realize I’d fallen asleep with my face between the pages until I opened my eyes, momentarily blinded by the sun. I thought I was dreaming. I swore I saw Nix brushing Amador’s hair behind her ear and Amador gazing into her eyes. But the next time I blinked and sat up, Nix and Amador were on opposite sides of the room. I sat up and stretched, and Nix perked up when I did. “Good! You’re awake! We found something.”
That woke me up even further. “Oh yeah? What?”
Nix sat down beside me and opened a book about the five elements: earth, air, fire, water, and spirit. She pointed to a page that was covered in diagrams. “This chapter is about the magical properties of the four elements of nature, and this section is about the healing powers of water. It says here that there is an incantation to make the water even more pure. What if we used one of the natural springs here to amplify the effect? Edgardo said that the springs around here have some minor healing abilities, so all we’d need to do is say the right spell and bam ! Super mega healing water.”
“Of course! Kind of like how vampires are weak to holy water!” I said, smiling. “It’s the next best thing, right?”
“Maybe we can wash it away like tar—scrub the curse out of you!” Nix laughed for what I think was the first time in days.
I turned to Amador for a little support, but she kept her face buried in a book. I could see the blush on her face even from behind the cover. “What are we waiting for?” she asked. She snapped the book closed and headed for the door.
She was definitely acting strangely, but I was too excited to care.
We wasted no time in heading to the springs in the jungle. Amador had been to them all since we got here, and she remembered each and every one. She led us to a spring that was about a forty-minute walk from the manor. At least one of us had been enjoying our vacation.
It was an almost perfectly circular spring, with a giant rock outcropping that jutted overhead like a tall diving board. The water was so blue, gradually deepening in color in the middle. It reminded me of the swimming holes in Mexico called cenotes.
I could already feel the magic in the air.
Nix and Amador stayed on the shore while I waded waist-deep into the spring, fully clothed. The water was the perfect temperature; it almost felt like I wasn’t in a spring at all.
Nix called out to me, “I’ll try to bring out the healing properties as best I can and say the incantation. If you feel anything weird or if you think something is wrong, let us know, and we’ll pull you out.”
Amador nodded, and I pressed my lips into a firm, determined line. I really hoped this would work.
As I waded deeper into the water, disturbing the glass-like surface, Nix raised her arms over her head.
“Oh, water, giver of life, hear my voice.” She muttered the incantation under her breath and focused her power into the spring. At first, it felt like nothing was happening, but then I noticed that the spring was starting to glow, much like lights in a swimming pool, a kind of muted yellow from below.
When I cupped the water in my hands, it still had that same glow, like I was holding a pool of sunlight in my palms.
“You’re doing it, Nix,” Amador said.
Nix didn’t open her eyes, but her eyebrows raised as if she, too, was surprised. “Wash away the darkness, cleanse and purify and renew.”
My muscles relaxed as the water temperature rose, soothing my body into a soft daze. I dropped forward and below the surface, then sank down to the sandy bottom.
Sounds dulled to a low drone, and I realized it was the blood rushing through my ears.
The bottom of the spring was bright and alive. Nix’s incantation made all the aquatic life bloom. Purple and pink seaweed grew so fast, it was like I was watching a sped-up video. Underwater moss and lichen stretched out across the rocky floor, moving with the power of her magic.
I closed my eyes and focused on the heat rising in my chest. Nix’s magic, too, was working its way through my body. But just as it was filling me up, it began swirling…going down, somehow. Like a black hole was dragging Nix’s magic out of me.
The manananggal was fighting back.
I tried to do something, focusing my own power on controlling it to my will, but like before, my talent abandoned me.
My lungs burned for air, but I didn’t want to give up. I had to keep trying. I put my hands to my chest, willing Nix’s power in, but whatever was inside me fought back even harder. The hole in my chest was getting bigger.
Behind my closed eyes, I could see Nix’s magic darkening as the monster consumed it, like it was desperate to fill the emptiness with whatever it could get its hands on.
It was then that I realized…I was hungry.
The edges of my vision turned red, like my eyes were filling with blood.
You think you can get rid of me so easily?
The voice made me spin around.
There, floating in the pool right in front of me, was…me.
I nearly screamed. It was like staring into a mirror. Same flowing dark hair, same heart-shaped face, same smile.
But her eyes— my eyes—were different. They were all red. Vicious, cruel, horrible.
The manananggal. This had to be a vision. This couldn’t be real.
You can’t kill me. I’m you, she said. Her smile was wicked and hungry. Her teeth turned into fangs.
My chest heaved, begging to inhale. My heart raced. Panic seized me like a cold fist.
The more you try to fight me, the stronger I get.
As she spoke, more blood filled my vision. She was changing, right in front of me, and so was I. She was making me. Like with her reflection, when she moved, so did I. I didn’t have any control.
Her smile split wider; her hands turned into claws. I didn’t want to watch, but she made me. Her claws moved down to her hips, and her tongue lolled out of her gaping mouth. I matched her movements. Her fangs looked needle-sharp. She laughed when she began to twist her torso back and forth, back and forth, separating herself from her legs. Pain ripped through my own stomach as she did. Muscles, spine, intestines—
No, no, no! Bubbles burst out of my mouth, and I screamed. But I wasn’t just screaming. I was laughing, too.
Just then, a hand plunged from the surface and grabbed my shirt, and I broke out into fresh air, sputtering and hissing. Amador.
I’d made it out, but all I saw was red.
I distantly heard Amador screaming and then felt a cool hand on my forehead. Nix.
I swiped out with my claws before everything went black.
The next second, I blinked, and I was lying on my back at the edge of the pool. I was me again, not a monster. Nix’s magic must have triggered my transformation somehow, but she had stopped it.
Amador and Nix were collapsed on either side of me. Nix panted heavily, her hand still on my forehead, and stared at me with wide, wet eyes. Amador, on my other side, was gasping for breath. She’d dragged me to the shore but slipped on the mud and fell next to me. She’d ruined her dress doing it.
“Did I…” I looked at my hands. There wasn’t any blood on them, but I couldn’t be sure what was real. “Did I hurt you?”
Both Amador and Nix shook their head. “You were turning, though,” Nix said. “We had to pull you out.”
So it hadn’t worked. My heart sank. I sat up and looked out across the spring. I needed to see if she was still in there, if she’d been real after all. But I knew, deep down, that it had all been in my head.
“I thought you were drowning,” said Amador. “Can you imagine if the queen died because of something I did?”
“My magic,” whispered Nix. She looked stunned. “It was like you were…consuming it. I’ve never felt anything like that before.”
“I was hungry,” I said. “Or the manananggal was.” Though at this point, I was starting to wonder if we weren’t one and the same.
I sat in the soft grass, my knees tucked up to my chest, while Nix and Amador went through more pages of the book, talking between themselves about the next possible solution. But the manananggal’s words still rang in my ears. You can’t kill me. I’m you.
“It was a good effort,” I said, making them both turn to me. “We’ll just have to try something else.”
Nix’s gaze danced across the surface of the water, her lower lip jutting out. Amador sighed and crossed her legs, wringing out her dress with her hands.
I scrubbed my hand down my face and tried to take a calming breath. “If Qian or anyone else from Jade Mountain sees me, I’m in serious trouble.”
“It’s my fault they’re here,” Nix said. “If I’d just stayed in my kingdom, they wouldn’t have come for me.”
“But then you wouldn’t be in my life,” I said. “And what would I do without you?”
Nix smiled sorrowfully, then said, “Maybe I should go back to Jade Mountain.”
Immediately, both Amador and I rounded on her.
“Absolutely not,” I said.
“You can’t!” Amador cried.
Nix’s lower lip trembled. “But I can’t find a way to help you. I don’t know what I’m doing. And with Qian here, I’m putting you at risk.”
She was trying her best to help me; I’d never blame her for anything.
When we made it back to the grounds, I spotted Qian on the lawn, bow in hand once more. To my surprise, Lucas was with him.
Qian handed Lucas the bow, and Lucas stepped up to take a shot. They were shooting clay discs again.
I kept my head down, hoping neither of them would notice me, but as usual, Qian did. It was like he had eyes on me at all times.
“Your Majesty,” he said, smiling. Then his eyes fell to my soaked clothes. “Are you all right?”
“Fine,” I said. “Decided to go for a swim.”
Lucas took in the state of my clothes, too, his ears turning pink briefly before he yelled for the game master to pull, and the clay disc shot up into the air.
He let loose, and the clay disc shattered into pieces. Bullseye.
“Changed your mind about hunting?” I asked.
Lucas handed Qian the bow and swiped his hair back from his forehead. “Yes, my queen.” Formal as ever.
He was keeping his distance from me, even though I knew the truth. He’d put up his walls once again.
Qian hefted the bow and clapped him on the back. “Good shot, Sir Lucas.” They were acting friendlier toward each other, at least. Qian handed the bow to another one of his men before he walked up to us.
He dipped his head to get a better look at Nix, whose head was lowered in defeat. “You feeling all right, little sister? You seem a little peaked.”
Nix did look sick, but I imagined it was because of the enormous amount of magic she’d summoned into the spring. “I’m fine,” she said. Before Qian could ask more, she turned and left, Amador rushing after her.
I should have gone, too, but my feet felt glued to the ground. Nix must have felt like she was failing me—that she was failing her kingdom as well. It was a lot of pressure to put on one person. I didn’t know what to say to her that would make it all better.
Qian’s gaze caught mine, and he smiled. “Would you like to see if you’re a better shot than Sir Lucas?”
Lucas barely reacted to that. He took a sip from his drink, doing his best not to look at me, but I knew he was fighting his instincts. I could feel it radiating off him, the hammer of his heartbeat, and then I realized it wasn’t me who could sense it, but the manananggal.
A shiver ran down my spine and I focused on Qian. The warmth in his eyes was like an anchor. He was the one person whose mind I could change. Even if I became a manananggal forever, at least Nix could be free. But also, I found myself actually wanting to be with Qian more and more. He made me feel less afraid about everything these days, though I knew that sense of safety would be jeopardized if he ever learned what was happening to me…And yet, I still found comfort being in his presence. He was the eye of the storm, and the closer I was to him, the calmer I became.
“Sure,” I said. “I’ll take a shot.”
I had to keep my distance from Lucas. For his sake. Even though it was like I was cutting a part of my body clean off by denying the pull to him, I had to let Lucas go.
I followed Qian to the spot on the lawn where one of his men had just finished his shot. He’d missed, drawing jeers and teasing from his friends, and Qian handed me the bow just like last time.
I felt Lucas’s eyes on me, but I focused on the feel of the bow in my hand. Qian guided my arm into the right place. I had the distinct impression that he was only doing it now as an excuse to touch me, and for a brief moment, I was fine with that. I liked the way his body felt next to mine, his bergamot scent enveloping us.
I peered down the line of the arrow, and the game master shot the clay disc into the air. I tracked it, lining up the disc with the sight, and let the arrow fly.
Qian whooped with the others when the disc burst into pieces, but the first person I looked at was Lucas. He simply bowed his head and took his leave.
“Thank you, Prince Qian,” I said. “It was fun.”
“Back to formalities?” he asked. “Have I done something to upset you?”
“Just the opposite,” I said.
The way he was looking at me made my insides fuzzy. I excused myself. It was starting to get dark, and I had to prepare for tonight, but I couldn’t stop thinking about the way I felt in Qian’s arms. I hadn’t felt that safe in a long time.
As I headed indoors, an idea wormed itself into my brain.