Chapter 1
Four years later
”I know you, don”t I?”I hear from behind me, but I ignore it. I’m walking along O’Connell street and the last thing I need is to be stopped by this guy, especially as the gardai are parked across the street. But he”s right, he does know me—to see at least. I’ve seen him a few times around town. From what I”ve heard, he’s a thief. He tries to steal from me, and I’ll kill him. ”Stephen, right?” he says as he runs up beside me.
”What”s it to you?” I snap as I spare him a glance.
”Just making conversation. So, you”re close with the O”Hara family. How did that happen?”
”None of your business,” I fire back. I”ll never tell anyone how I came to find the O”Hara family. It”s been four years and I”m still close to them. They treat me like one of their own. Callie is a sister to me now, and I”ll do anything to protect her.
”Ara man, why are you being like this?” he asks, still keeping his steps with mine.
”You”re a thief,” I say.
He laughs. ”I am. There”s nothing wrong with doing whatever you have to do in order to survive. You gonna to act as though you wouldn”t do the same in my position?”
He”s right, I”ve stolen a few times. I”ve needed to. It wasn”t because I liked it; it was out of necessity. I needed food and new clothes, and stealing was the only way I could obtain them. Thankfully, I no longer have to do that shit. Not now I have the O”Hara”s. They ensure that I have food and clothing without me asking—not that I ever would.
”I”ve never stolen from anyone who didn”t deserve it,” he says with a grin.
I laugh. ”You”re a modern day Robin Hood, yeah?”
He lifts a shoulder. ”Something like that. Anyway, I”ve not robbed anyone in a while.”
I roll my eyes. ”Saw you not even ten minutes ago steal a man”s wallet as he was getting on the bus.”
”That was ten minutes ago. I told you, it”s been a while.”
I laugh once again. Okay, I could actually like this guy. ”Fine, I”m Stephen.”
He holds out his hand. ”Freddie, though most people call me the Thief.”
”Not that you can blame them, right?”
He grins. ”Nah, but I will promise you that I”ll never steal from you. So, what”s the plan for today?”
”Haven”t got any,” I say as I continue to walk. This is something I do every day. Ma”s still the same. Her drug addiction hasn”t changed. In fact, it”s only gotten worse. Hell, it”s so bad that she”s no longer working. Da”s still an asshole and beats me whenever he can—something that pisses me off now I”m almost as tall as him. I just need to work on getting stronger. Once I can do that, I won’t hesitate to throw punches back.
”Come with me then. I”m starting a job today, and I know Jerry is looking to recruit more people.”
”Jerry?” I echo, wondering who he”s talking about.
”Jerry Houlihan. Have you heard of him?”
The name rings a bell but I don”t know from where. ”Not sure.”
”You want some money?” he asks, and I nod. Of course I fucking do. Money means saving, and that means getting out of the house I share with my family. ”Then come on. You’ve just got to meet the guy. Not forcing you to do anything.”
”Sure, why not,” I say as he moves a step ahead of me.
Whoever this Jerry is, he had better be good.
* * *
A sleek black car rolls to a stop in front of us.
”Guys,” I hear a deep voice say as the car door opens. ”How did you get on today?”
When Freddie told me he had a job, I never expected it to be selling drugs, but hell, he’s good at what he does. There are many drug users in Dublin, and most of them seemed to come to Freddie today.
”Jer,” Freddie greets. ”Sold out twice. Had to have Nathan come and restock us.”
It finally hits me where I know the guy from. Jerry Houlihan is Callie”s uncle. He”s Nicola”s brother. I’ve seen him only in passing. Usually, when Callie’s family have big family gatherings, I don’t attend. I don’t need to be around that many people, especially when they’re people I don’t know.
Nicola, Eric, Butch, and Patty—Nicola’s sister—are the only ones I know, who I have been around. They were there for Callie’s birthday party, the day I first met her. I haven’t been around any of the other family and don’t really want to.
”That”s good, Freddie. That”s very good. You boys are going to make me extremely rich.” He turns his gaze to me. ”You want a job, Stephen?”
”Yes, sir,” I reply. ”But I”d prefer if Nicola and Callie didn”t know.”
Jerry”s grin widens. ”That, son, is something we can ensure doesn”t happen. I love my family. My sisters, Nicola and Patty, are the shit, as is my niece, but I”m not going to listen to their disapproval. If you want to join the ranks of my organization, I”m more than happy to have you.”
”Thank you, Jerry.”
”To you, I”m Jer. Now, be back tomorrow, same time,” he says as he reaches into his pocket and pulls out a wad of cash. My heart starts to race as he moves toward us. ”Here you go. This is payment for today.” He hands Freddie money and then hands me some.
”See you tomorrow, Jer,” Freddie says as he slides the money into his pocket.
”Stephen, if you could stay for a while. Freddie, you”ll see him tomorrow.”
Freddie nods, although I can see the confusion in his eyes, but I nod, letting him know that it”s okay.
”Son,” Jer says. ”Get in the car. We”re going for a ride. We need to talk.”
”What”s going on?” I ask, hesitant about going with him.
He laughs. ”We need to talk. Besides, Nicola would kill me if I let something happen to you.”
That makes me relax. He”s right, Nicola and Callie would lose their shit if something happened to me. I climb into the front passenger”s seat of the car and wait for Jer to get into the driver”s side.
”What”s this about?” I ask him after a while. He”s driving out of the city. I don”t think I”ve ever been this far before.
”I looked into your family,” he tells me, and I tense. I”m not stupid; I know Nicola and Eric saw the bruises on me the day of Callie”s birthday party. They”re not dumb; they know what they mean. So I”m not surprised Jer has looked into me.
”Your da, he”s a real dick.”
I laugh at his words. ”Oh, you can say that again.”
”I”m not sure how much you know about your family, Stephen, but your parents were in a car accident when your ma was pregnant with you. She suffered horrendously. She had multiple broken bones and you were born premature. It was hard on her. I remember it happening and the aftermath of it. The pain she was in was excruciating, and your da was a cunt,” he spits. ”He didn”t help and he left your ma to do everything. He came to me and got drugs. I didn’t know at the time that they weren”t for him, but your ma.”
”He got her hooked on the drugs, didn”t he?” I ask, wondering how the hell I didn”t know this before now.
He nods. ”Yeah, he did. He”s also the man who continues to get her drugs.”
Rage flows through my veins. I”m so fucking angry, so damn mad that he”s the one who’s doing this to her. He ruined her life. ”Why?”
”I don”t know,” Jer admits. ”I have no idea why he”d do that, but, son, it”s fucked up and you deserve answers. If you”re coming to work for me, you can share an apartment with Freddie. He”s not had the best of upbringings either and the two of you seem to get along great.”
I glance at him. ”You”re willing to let me stay in an apartment?”
”All my men have their own homes. It”s what I do. I look out for those who work for me.”
This man seems too good to be true. From what I found out today, Freddie is fourteen, the same age as I am, and now that I know he”s working and living alone, it makes me want that too. What the hell am I going to lose if I do decide to take Jer up on his offer? Nothing can be worse than how things are now, that”s for fucking sure.
”Okay, Jer, I”ll work for you.”
He grins. ”Good. Now I can keep an eye on you both. There are rules you have to abide by, and if you break a rule, there will be consequences.”
”I understand,” I reply.
I know he”s taking a chance on me. Hell, the entire O”Hara/Houlihan family has taken a chance on me, and I won’t let them down. The love Callie and Nicola have given me is the only love I have ever felt. It will probably be the only love I”ll ever encounter. I”ll never betray them. To me, they”re family, and they always will be. I know they”ll be pissed if they find out I”m working for Jer, but it”s something I feel I have to do. I can”t stay at home anymore. The beatings are getting worse by the day, and there”s only so much I can take before I snap. Or worse, he”ll kill me with his rage.
I sit back and let him drive. We”re getting further out of the city than I”ve ever been. I have no idea where we”re going, but Jer sure does. I watch the green trees and grass we pass by as the car continues to rack up mileage.
”We”re here,” Jer says after an hour or so. ”Are you good to go in alone?”
I lift my shoulders and shrug. ”Sure. What do you need me to do?” I ask.
His brows knit together. ”This is your home. Get your shit and I”ll take you to the apartment,” he says, sounding irritated.
”Sorry, boss man, but you”ve got the wrong house. I live in the city. I”ve no fucking idea whose house this is.” Whoever the fuck it belongs to, they must be rich. The house is huge, and by the looks of things, they”ve got at least ten acres of land. Not to mention the many outbuildings too.
”Stephen,” Jer says slowly, ”this is your father”s house.”
What? This makes no sense. ”Dunno where you got that from, Jer, but I can tell you it ain”t.”
But there”s a tingle in my spine that’s telling me Jer is right. Not to mention, there”s a Range Rover parked in front of the house, one that I know belongs to my father. It”s a huge farmhouse in the middle of nowhere. Why would my dad be here? He shouldn”t be. He”s supposed to be at work.
Fuck it. I unbuckle my seatbelt and open the car door. My strides are purposeful as I move toward the house. There”s a loud whirring coming from the back, and I follow the direction of the noise, surprised to see my father standing at a wood chipper with a fucking stupid grin on his face as he holds a woman in his arms. A lot of trees have been cut back and taken down. It seems like they’re renovating and re-doing the entire garden landscape. Fucking prick.
”So, who”s the whore?” I snarl as I move toward them.
The couple pull apart, jumping at the sound of my voice. ”The fuck are you doing here, Stephen?” My da sneers as he glares at me.
The woman is young, probably in her early twenties. Her hands go to her stomach, where it”s clear that she”s pregnant.
”That his?” I ask, and she nods, her gaze moving from my father to me. ”I”d be careful if I were you. He may end up putting you in the hospital, like he did my ma. Or getting you hooked on pain pills and drugs, then beating the shit out of the kid. You”ve got it all to look forward to.”
I can”t stop the anger that flows from me. I”ve put up with Da”s shit for so fucking long that I”m broken. I know I am. I”m nothing like how other kids my age are. I”m not emotionally in tune, nor do I give a fuck. There”s a part of me that”s dead inside. But standing here and watching how fucked up my da is has pushed me over the edge. I”m angry. So fucking angry. I want to hurt the fucking asshole, just as he has done to me for the past ten years of my life.
”What?” the woman hisses. ”You”re married?” she asks.
I laugh. ”Yep. He”s been married for the past fifteen years. Probably longer than you”ve been alive.”
The woman glares at my da and rushes into the house. I catch sight of the tears rolling down her face. I”ve hurt her with my words, but it”s better than her being caught in this man”s grip. Once she”s in, he”ll never let her go, just as he”s not let Ma go.
”You”re dead,” Da snaps as he stalks toward me. ”What the fuck are you doing here?”
”A friend of mine gave me a lift home. Imagine my surprise when he pulled up outside this house instead of our home. I was intrigued. Colour me surprised, Da,” I taunt.
Before Da can respond, the woman rushes out of the house, her feet moving a lot faster than I thought possible with her being pregnant. She runs past where me and my da are and around the corner.
”You little shit,” Da growls. ”Look what you”ve done. Now look at what”s going to happen. She”s gone and it”s all your fault.”
The sound of a car engine starts up and I smile. I guess she”s gone, and I doubt she”ll be back.
”You cunt,” he snarls.
I move toward the wood chipper and he follows me, his eyes wide and the vein on his forehead throbbing like it does whenever he”s angry.
”Look what you”ve done. You”ve ruined everything.”
I chuckle. I can”t help it. ”I did?” I ask, wondering where the hell he got that shit from. ”You did. You wrecked Ma”s life and you”ve wrecked mine. Had you fucked off with that whore ages ago, we”d be better off without you.”
He edges closer, his nostrils flaring. ”That was my meal ticket out of this shit hole of a life. You think I want to spend every day listening to your mam whining about getting drugs? Listening to her tell me that I”m being too hard on you?” He bares his teeth. ”You think I want to spend the rest of my life wondering which woman I”ll be waking up next to?”
”What?” I ask, completely confused by his words.
His laughter is cold and it angers me even more. ”Your mam, she”s got a serious brain injury. One day she”s happy and remembers a lot, the next she”s in pain and can”t remember much. Those are the days she”s the angriest. I can”t deal with it any longer. The woman”s driving me insane.”
”You did that to her,” I snap. ”You made her that way. Not only did you cause the crash, but you got her hooked on drugs. It”s all your fault and I doubt she doesn”t remember. I bet she”s angry because she has to put up with you.”
He lunges for me, but I”m so fired up and filled with rage that I”m ready for him. My hands push against his chest as he gets close to me, and I use every ounce of strength I possess to push him off me.
I watch in shock as he stumbles backwards, his back bowed and his feet slipping from under him. I”m rooted to the spot as he falls into the wood chipper. The scream that rents the air is horrific, and the wood chipper chugging against his skin and bone is a sound I”ll never forget. I can”t move. I stand where I am, watching in fascination as the man I hate more than anything is crushed beneath the metal prongs of the machine. His arm”s gone, completely mangled, and blood coats the silver machine as it spits out dusty parts of my father”s ripped apart arm.
”Christ, son,” I hear Jer say from behind me. ”You can hear his screams from a mile away.”
I lift my shoulder and shrug. I don”t care. This man has caused me so much pain, and now it”s his turn. I never intended for this to happen, but I can”t say that I”m sorry it did. He deserves everything he gets.
”Alright, Stephen, we”ll leave him there. I guess people really do get what”s coming to them,” Jer tells me as he places his hand on my shoulder. ”It”s time to get you out of here.”
I shake my head. I want to make sure he”s dead. I don”t want him anywhere near my ma again. No fucking way. It”s not happening. He”s caused enough pain and suffering in her life. It ends today.
The screams quiet down but the machine”s in full force. It continues to churn out my father”s mangled bones. There”s so much blood, it”s like something out of a horror scene. I guess this would be something like that. It would be most people”s worst nightmare if they were to ever see it happen in real life. But I find the sound of the metal whirring as it breaks down the flesh and bone of my father oddly soothing.
I always knew there was something wrong with me. I guess today I finally figured out what it is. I”m a killer. There”s no other way around it. Sure, it was an accident, but Christ, I’ve loved watching every second of it so far.
”I’ve gotta say, Stephen,” Jer says, not once letting go of my shoulder, ”this is one of the most horrific deaths I”ve ever encountered. You”ve not flinched once, not even when your father was screaming. This shit doesn”t faze you, does it?”
I shake my head. ”No.”
I guess I”m used to the violence. I was born into it. My father was a bastard and did whatever the fuck he wanted. He didn”t care about anyone but himself. Well, today he finally understood what happens when you hurt people. He got his just desserts. They may be a little messier than expected, but the man must have known he”d never get away with all that he”s done.
”Alright, Stephen, if you still feel as though none of this shit fazes you when you”re older, I may have a different job for you.”
I raise a brow as I take my gaze away from the wood chipper. ”Why not give it to me now?” I ask.
He grins. ”I want to see if there”s any hope in changing you.”
”Do you genuinely believe that there is?” I ask, not that I give a fuck if there isn”t. I am who I am and that”s never going to change.
”No, I don”t believe so. Killers are born. Very seldom are they made. And you, my boy, are a natural born killer. There’s a darkness inside you and I just realized how dark it gets. Seeing you today, no matter that this was an accident, you were born to kill. Soon you”ll want to do more, and when that urge comes, you will come to me, and I”ll help you tunnel it into a healthier outcome. The last thing I want is for you to become a serial killer.”
”Alright, Jer. When the urge comes, you”ll be the first person I go to.”
He nods, seemingly satisfied with what I”ve said. ”Then it”s time to leave. I”ll have someone clean this shit up. We”ll make it so that your father”s left town and hasn’t come back.”
I breathe out a deep breath. ”How do you get rid of this energy?” I ask. I feel antsy, almost as though I”ve run a marathon.
Jer grins at me. ”I fuck it out of me.”
I nod. I guess that”s something I could do. It”s not as though I haven’t done it before. But fuck, I”m not sure it”s safe to do so with the way I”m feeling.
”Kid, you”re not doing that, so go home, change, and hit the gym. Box it out of you or run it out of you.”
I laugh. He really does underestimate me.
”Get in the car,” he sighs. ”You”re a pain in the ass, boy. I”ll make a phone call and then get you home.”
I nod. Sounds good, but I think he”s right. Hitting the gym will be the best thing for me.
I don”t trust myself right now.
I”m a killer and I”m in bloodlust.
There”s no easy way to get rid of this energy.
I”m curious as to when the urge will hit me now that I”ve killed once.