Chapter Twenty-Six
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
Adalyn and Cameron stayed the night in Green Oak.
We all bunked at my place. Grandpa Moe included, only he stayed in his room, and this wasn’t anything like the girls’ sleepovers we’d done in the past. Adalyn and I shared my bed. And Cameron and Matthew spent the night camping out in my living room.
Telling the whole story to Adalyn wasn’t easy, especially not when the poor woman was so ridden by her hormones that she seemed to go from happy to sad and back in the blink of an eye. She’d also told me everything I’d missed about her pregnancy, from the moment she’d been late and suspected, to the doctor’s visit when they’d been told the pregnancy was free of risk.
We both cried, though. That strange coincidence—our misguided senses to protect each other by lying—had taken a toll on us both.
Maybe we weren’t particularly good at having a sibling. Good thing was, there was nothing in the world we couldn’t learn to do. At least not when people were as stubborn as we were.
“Are you awake?” she asked.
“Yup,” I answered, rolling on my side so I could face her. She smiled just as a ray of sunshine poured into the room between the blinds. “Pfft, you look so pretty right now it’s almost insulting. I don’t think it’s just the pregnancy, but… happiness. It looks really nice on you.”
“Both you and Cam are full of B.S.” she said, but her eyes betrayed her. “My skin is not glowing any more than it used to.”
I chuckled. “Please. I’m the worst liar in the county. Possibly all of North Carolina. And Cam’s not better. Don’t you remember when he signed both of you up for all of our fall activity brochure and pretended it was some ploy to get revenge? Obvious lie. The man had it so bad.”
Adalyn’s laughter was lighthearted and twice as happy. “I still can’t believe he did that.” A small frown took shape. “And I can’t believe I showed up to goat yoga in heels.”
A chortle escaped. “In your defense, they were very nice stilettos.”
Adalyn’s smile remained for a few more seconds. She swallowed.
“We’re not doing that anymore,” I reminded her. “Keeping stuff in for fear of bruising each other’s feelings. So speak up.”
“Matthew’s in love with you,” she said, and her words brought me pause as much as we’d talked long and hard about it. “He really is. And I know I had weeks to process this, but it feels like I’m hearing it for the first time. Like I finally get to ask you questions I couldn’t because we were both being silly.”
I scooted a little closer to her still. “I know he is,” I whispered. “And I love him too. So much it terrifies me. So much I want to give him things I can’t. Things I don’t know I’ll ever be able to give him.” Adalyn frowned in question, and I clarified. “He gave me his ring. His grandmother’s.” My voice lowered. “He would have married me Saturday. I know he would have.”
My sister processed my words for an instant. Then she smiled. “He’s just…” She laughed. “He wasn’t joking, you know? The story about the text wasn’t made up. He asked me a couple of times how his future wife was doing before I created that group chat with the four of us.”
A flutter took flight in my chest, but it was short-lived. “Future wife. When I saw myself in that dress I wanted to crawl out of my skin, which is horribly ironic for someone who has been engaged so many times. But I—I wanted to run, Adalyn.”
“Not without him,” she said, her hand clasping mine. “You aren’t scared of a life or a commitment to him. It’s something else that’s missing. But I don’t know… Maybe nothing’s missing. Or maybe we don’t need to be whole to function, you know? Maybe we just need to learn to love who we are and let people around us love us for that, too.”
Maybe nothing’s missing.
I didn’t feel like something was with him. “I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but I think Bobbi was right. It’s very likely that I have abandonment and daddy issues. Probably other stuff too.”
“I think you tried your best, Josie,” Adalyn told me, voice hardening.
I frowned. “I think I could have done better than wrangling the whole town into this.”
“It’s okay to be hurt,” she continued with a fierce expression. “It’s okay to have issues. It’s fine for life to bruise you and leave a mark. That only means you’re living, you know? It means you’re trying. It doesn’t really matter what the world or anyone says about that. It doesn’t matter that you get to experience love in a way that’s different from what you expected. We were both raised by our mothers and in one way or another Andrew wasn’t there for us. For me, he was the man I mimicked but never seemed to impress, to be good enough for. And for you he wasn’t much more than a name. Before he came into your life, you didn’t think there was anything wrong with how you approached love, or life, so why start now?”
I smiled. “Matthew said a similar thing.”
“Well, he’s a great man,” she answered. “He’s my best friend. And he loves to pretend he’s silly, but he’s not. He will occasionally say some things that blow my mind.”
I agreed. I loved Adalyn. I always had. From the moment I saw her standing at the entrance of what today was Warriors Park, looking very fashionable and completely out of place. I… I threw my arms around her and hugged her to my chest. “You’re going to be an incredible mom, and I’m going to spoil my niece or nephew so absolutely rotten it’s not even right. I’m going to be their favorite person in the world.”
Adalyn chuckled, and this time, she wasn’t even crying when she released me. “That’s exactly what Matthew—”
The door flew open and two figures ran through it.
“Jesus Christ,” someone grumbled from the foot of the bed, right before I was tackled from the side by a big ball of warmth. “You’re like a child. I give up.”
Matthew’s chuckle fell against my ear. “Stop growling and get over here.” He hummed. “It’s as cozy and nice as I expected.”
Adalyn snorted, and I couldn’t help but laugh. “See?” she said from her spot on the bed, bringing herself up. “I told you. He was never really good with personal space. I’ve been telling him that it’d get him into trouble.”
Matthew snuggled further into me. “My most predominant love language is physical touch. Tell that to your baby daddy, by the way. He punched me when I tried to climb onto the couch with him. He’s lucky I still have a man crush on him and I refuse to give up on our bromance just yet.”
Cameron grunted something before saying, “I apologized.”
“And I forgive you,” Matthew quipped, hands splaying over my sides. “If you take your woman and leave. I’ve been respectful of sister time, now it’s Matthew time.”
I huffed out his name, feigning that the implication of spending alone time with him hadn’t just sent my belly twirling. “I was thinking it’d be nice to have breakfast. The four of us and Grandpa Moe.”
“Matthew time has just been officially rescheduled,” the man inappropriately but deliciously plastered at my back barked. “I’m starving for more than cuddles.”
A laugh rolled out of me as I watched a smiling Adalyn being helped off the bed first, then led outside the room by Cameron. “We’ll be downstairs.”
Matthew’s lips brushed a kiss on my jaw the moment we were alone. All goofiness gone. “Do you feel better this morning? After talking to Adalyn?”
I turned in his arms so I could look at him. “Yes. I feel a lot better.”
He kissed the tip of my nose. “Good.”
“Did you have a nice time with Cam?”
His smile was lopsided. “He gives me shit but I know he loves me.” His voice lowered. “Don’t tell him but I still can’t believe I got to share a couch with one of my idols. It was really hard to keep it together and act cool. I deserve a reward. Even if small. Preferably from you. Ideas?”
My laughter was unstoppable. “You do know you will be their child’s godfather, right?”
His eyes widened with the thought.
I kissed him then. There was a surprised tiny gasp, then he took over, deepening the kiss with a low hum.
“That’s exactly what I was talking about,” he murmured, coming up for breath. I arched my brows. “You’re my reward, Baby Blue.”
Matthew was wrong this time.
He was my reward.
We spent most of the day together before Adalyn and Cameron hugged us goodbye and returned to their place with the promise of coming by the following day.
Quickly after, Grandpa Moe retired to his room to watch a rerun from one of his favorite seasons of The Bachelorette , leaving us alone to canoodle or whatever, in his words. Judging from Matthew’s face, I doubted Grandpa Moe’s comment had left him exactly in the mood to canoodle so we were—innocently—curled up on the couch, while we ignored the unfolding consequences of everything that had gone down the day before.
I’d been trying not to think too much of it, or at the very least, not to speak of it so I wouldn’t make it any more real than it was. But if I’d learned anything these past weeks, it was that keeping stuff from coming out usually meant it’d eventually make something burst.
“The town’s going to be unbearable tomorrow,” I whispered.
Matthew sat up on the couch, as if immediately ready to talk about why or how much, or anything I needed to, really. He appraised the space between us with a frown, then snatched my legs and placed them on his lap. “I’d offer to drive us fast and far away from here, but I don’t think that’s something you want to do. So how about I come with you to Josie’s tomorrow? We’ll open up together, and then you can set me on a stool at the counter and I’ll take every question while you work.”
I considered the plan with a smile. Perfection might be subjective, like Matthew loved to say, but to me there wasn’t a thing about this man that I didn’t think was perfect. Not after saying that. Not after everything.
“Driving away is tempting,” I admitted. But having him with me at Josie’s, just like he’d painted, not just tomorrow but every day, was even more so. It made my smile wider, although it also opened up questions. Like Matthew’s job or where he’d live. Was now the moment to talk about that? I shook my head. “But you’re right. I—” He squeezed my ankle. “We should face everyone and get that out of the way. It won’t be that bad. They were probably expecting me to blow it anyway.”
Matthew’s face hardened. “You haven’t blown shit, Josie. And if anyone implies that tomorrow, no matter how well-intentioned, I’m kindly but firmly answering by leading them out of your establishment.”
A chuckle escaped me. “I’ve always wondered what having a bodyguard would feel like. Will you pick me up, princess-style, and navigate the crowd of gossip-hungry customers as you pull me away?”
The corner of his mouth tipped up as he threw me a wink. “Absolutely.”
I couldn’t know if it was the goofiness in the wink, or the way he’d said that like it was nothing, or maybe the domesticity of the moment, but… “I love you.”
My words seemed to catch Matthew off guard for a second, so I poked his stomach with my foot.
“Get used to it, mister,” I said. And the surprise dissolved, giving way to his smile. Matthew’s smile. Then something else. “Stop looking at me like that. I’m trying really hard to have a conversation with my—”
“With your what?”
“With my man. My Matthew. The man I love.” His face softened impossibly. “The man whose parents are arriving in town for a wedding that’s not taking place, too.” I swallowed. “Do you think they will be mad?”
“They will be surprised,” he answered, voice matching his face. “They’ll want an explanation. But no, I don’t think they’ll be mad. There’s nothing to be mad about. Not where you—we—are concerned. As for myself, I’m most likely getting my ass whooped for lying about my job. But that’s a different conversation I need to have with them.”
“I could be there,” I offered. “When you tell them about that. I can hold your hand. If you need me.”
Matthew’s gaze turned impossibly tender. Sweet. Also hungry.
Delicious heat climbed up my neck. I swallowed. “You look ridiculously horny, Matthew Flanagan.”
“And you’re making your smile.”
He didn’t need to say which one.
Matthew chuckled, and his mouth popped open with what I knew was a promise, but a ping from the coffee table distracted us. All amusement was snuffed out, and I knew from the way he looked at me that he wanted us to ignore it but wouldn’t ask me to. We both knew what that message was most likely about, and we both had been ignoring the world—and the internet—long enough.
He stretched his arm and snatched my phone, handing it to me without peeking at the screen. I sat up, coming to his side so we could both see whatever had torn at the thin bubble I’d carefully blown around us. He brushed a kiss at my temple as I unlocked the screen.
BOBBI: I know I’m fired and I’m supposed to cut all contact with you, but I’m at the airport and I’m bored. So you’re getting this from me. Consider it my breakup text.
I looked up at Matthew, eyes widening. “Andrew fired Bobbi?”
He clenched his jaw. “I’m surprised to agree with a decision that man made, but she should be fired. She played Andrew the moment she decided not to tell him the truth. And even after you broke down like that, she still tried to push you to—” His exhale was forceful. “You always come first, Josie. And I hated—hated—seeing you crying and hurting like that.”
I kissed his cheek. Then his jaw. Then his lips. Matthew’s tension eased away. “I’m all right now. I’m better than all right. I’m with you.”
Another new text popped up, making us both glance down.
BOBBI: Andrew’s way to handle things is paying Page Nine off. I’m saying this because he won’t admit it. It won’t work. That’s why he hired me. They won’t take the money. Page Nine makes their own rules. They’re the twisted, Gen-Z targeted Robin Hood of gossip.
“They won’t take the money,” Matthew said. “She’s right. They’ll probably retaliate if Andrew tries to silence them that way.”
BOBBI: They want Matthew on the podcast. They wanted Josephine at first, but now that she called off the wedding, they want groom number five. It’s the big reveal they were working toward. Live thing, streamed, etc. They were sure he’d be left heartbroken, so they’ve been biding their time.
I blinked at the screen.
“Fuckers,” Matthew murmured. “I should have known.”
Another text came before I could speak.
BOBBI: They’ll offer him big money. His job back (yes, I also knew about that, Blondie). A raise. Anything, really. My advice is to take it. Go on the thing, lie, and put out the fire once and for all. You’re not getting married anyway. And it’s not only for Andrew’s sake but for the two of you. Blondie gets the money. Josephine becomes old news.
BOBBI: Yes. I used you to serve a purpose. But I always tried to protect you. Those two pretend to be righteous, cool, woke. But they forget all about it for the sake of a good story. When it’s someone else’s life on the screen of a device, we forget that it could be us or someone we care for.
BOBBI: You can’t change that, just learn to live with it. Make the best out of it. Roll with the punches and take the money. Give them the conclusion to the story. Move on.
BOBBI: Oh, and it was Duncan who leaked the clip. Don’t ask me how he got ahold of it, but I suggest you stop dating politicians.
BOBBI: It wasn’t a pleasure working with you, but it wasn’t as harrowing as I thought it would be. So call me if you ever need me. It’ll be on the house for all the trouble I might have caused. Although you should probably be thanking me for giving you an excuse to bang. Bye.
That was… A lot. And it all swirled around my head, slowly but distinctly locking into place.
“Matthew?” I asked.
“I’m not doing that,” Matthew said before I could follow that up. “I don’t want their money. Job, a raise. None of that.”
“I understand that.” I swallowed. “They’re horrible people. But I don’t want you to turn that down because of me. I… I can’t ask you to uproot your whole life to be with me. I’ve tried to do that in the past. With every man I’ve been with. I’ve molded myself and tried to fit, and sure, I fell in love with certain things that I made mine but… It’s never worked. So I can’t ask that of you.”
“You’re not asking me.” Fingers clasped my chin gently, bringing my gaze up. “You’re not uprooting my life, either. They did that. I did that. And I don’t want any of that back. I only want you.”
I only want you. “Well… there goes my plan.”
“What plan?”
“Sending you off. Have you consider taking the job and go back to Chicago. Giving you space so you could have a choice.” I smiled at him, even though a little weakly. Matthew kissed me and I felt the words on my lips. You are my choice. He was mine, too. “What if you take the money? Like Bobbi advised. We feed them a conclusion, and you cash in a check.”
He snorted. “I’m not going on that thing to lie about the woman I love.”
“Then don’t. Don’t lie. I’m so tired of that. So exhausted by the lies and the shame and… caring about what people think and say about anything.”
His brows met, but I could see him piecing everything together. Where my head was going. What I meant. “That’s your story to tell, Josie. Not mine. I would never dare.”
“I don’t think it is, though,” I murmured. And when I heard the words, it solidified something in my head. I twisted my body so I could fully face him. So he could see my face. That I wasn’t sending him off, or running, but the opposite. “I think it stopped being mine the moment all of this started. And they want you, not me.”
Matthew’s arms came around my waist, and he pulled me closer, encouraging, providing the safety I always felt slip through my fingers whenever this whole PR mess was brought up. “What are you saying, Blue?”
“I’m saying that I’m a little tired of having strangers treat my life like it’s theirs to discuss. I’m saying that I trust you and I love you and I can’t think of anyone better to tell everyone the truth. I’m saying it’s no longer my story, that I’m no longer on my own when I’m with you because it’s us now. I’m saying Bobbi is partly right maybe, and this is the only way it’ll all be put to rest. And I’m also saying that I’ve already asked way too much of you, and I keep asking more, so if you don’t want to do this, I understand.”
Matthew kissed me again, a bruising press of his mouth against mine this time. “So you’re not pushing me away.”
“I don’t think I’m capable of that.”
His arms tightened around my back. “What do you suggest we do, then?”
We.
“We didn’t start this,” I said. “But we can decide how it ends.”