55. Zander
CHAPTER 55
ZANDER
It took a little minute to clean up after our hot, sticky hookup.
Shit, that was intense and so fucking good.
I wish we could have been fully naked, but being inside her that way was like signing a contract or something. I don’t know if that sounds dumb, but after everything I’d confessed and we’d promised each other, it felt so fucking right to finish our conversation that way.
I’m now running late for practice, but I’ll explain everything to Coach as soon as I get the chance. If he’s pissed, he’s pissed. I did the right thing this afternoon… and there’s one more thing I gotta do before I can finally make peace with myself.
Walking into the locker room, I seek out my friends. Thankfully, they’re all taping up and getting dressed in the same area, and I rush over to them before I lose my nerve.
“I have to tell you something,” I blurt.
They all turn to face me, and I glance over my shoulder, lowering my voice so the rest of the team can’t hear me.
“It’s important.”
“Aw shit, you just had sex, didn’t you?” Carson shakes his head, narrowing his eyes at me. “Are we gonna have to start living with a toddler again?”
“Yes, but that’s not what I need to say.” I swallow, my insides buckling as I check their faces.
Carson’s grumpy demeanor drops for a second, genuine concern flashing across his face. “What is it?”
Grady rests his hand on my shoulder. “Are you about to hurl chunks? You look green.”
I swallow, clenching my jaw and wondering how I’m gonna get through this.
If Sienna can forgive you, these guys will too.
“Okay, gentlemen, let’s go!” Coach calls from the door.
I spin and catch his eye.
He frowns at me. “You better hurry up and get your ass ready for practice.”
“I just have to talk to these guys first.” I point at them with a flick of my thumb as the last of the team trails out. Shit, I hope Coach Jones can read minds. I throw him a desperate, pleading look.
His eyes narrow into two thin slits, and then realization slowly dawns. He knows what I’m about to do, and without a word, he gives me a quick nod and mumbles, “See you out there soon.”
Eyeing my housemates, a look of mild concern washes over his expression before he turns and leaves.
“What the fuck was that about?” Carson points after Coach.
I close my eyes with a shuddering sigh and tell them, “ He knows everything. He knows exactly why I transferred to Nolan U. He helped me do it.”
“O-kay.” Grady frowns. “What aren’t you telling us?”
He almost looks offended, and I shake my head and glance at Wily.
He gives me an encouraging smile, nodding and silently telling me to get on with it.
My legs buckle and I plunk down on the closest bench seat, resting my elbows on my knees and letting it all out.
I don’t hold back and tell them every ugly, dirty detail of my life at Kelsey U. I can’t look up at their reactions, so I keep my eyes trained on the floor, confessing my darkest sins and hoping they won’t kick me out of the house.
“So, when Coach offered to let me go with him, I jumped at the chance.” I sigh. “I know I don’t deserve it or anything, but… I just had to get away from the Titans.”
I finally stop talking, smashing my teeth together as I wait for them to respond.
The silence that follows is painful, and my knee starts bobbing as I wait it out.
“Well, fuck me,” Grady mutters, taking a seat beside me and shaking his head. “How did we not know about this? I’m surprised it wasn’t splashed all over the media. That’s a huge scandal.”
“The school managed to keep it quiet. To be honest, I was really grateful for that, although…” I shrug. “Maybe it would have been better if it was publicized. Maybe that’s exactly what we all deserved.”
“I would have killed those motherfuckers,” Carson hisses. “That asswipe is lucky you only broke his jaw. ”
“We should have tackled harder at Saturday’s game.” Tyrell’s tone is just as dark as Carson’s.
Wily takes a seat on my other side, nudging me with his elbow. “No wonder you’re so paranoid about drinks and drugs at our parties.”
I glance at him and nearly can’t believe his smile.
He’s smiling? At me? After everything I just told him.
He laughs at my expression. I don’t know what my face is doing, but he elbows me again. “Dude, what? Are we supposed to hate you now or something?”
I blink and shake my head. “I… maybe?”
“Oh, please.” Carson rolls his eyes. “So you were a little shit for a year. I’m a shit all the time, and you guys still let me live with you.” He shrugs, throwing on his practice shirt. “You could have told us this ages ago, man. It’s not like we would have kicked you out of the house.”
“I just… hate myself for what I let happen. What I did. What I became.” I cringe, running a hand through my hair.
Tyrell shrugs. “We all make fucked-up choices we regret. That’s life. When it came to the crunch, you did the right thing.”
“Yeah, man.” Grady squeezes my shoulder. “Don’t waste your time beating yourself up. It’s done. It’s over. You gotta live in the now.”
I let out a surprised laugh, shaking my head. “You guys are…” I huff out another laugh, then swallow and look around at them all. “Thank you.”
“Don’t worry about.” Wily slaps my back, then stands tall. “Come on, let’s go play some ball.”
With a nod, I stand and give each of them another silent thank-you before letting them know, “Sienna and Zoey will be back tonight.”
“What?” Carson whines. “Are you fucking kidding me? They’re not moving back in for good, are they?”
I clench my jaw and give him a nod. “I want them with me, man. Sienna’s my woman, and Zoey’s my daughter. They belong with me.”
“They can’t live at Football Frat. It won’t work.”
“Well, I’ll just have to figure out some new living arrangements, then.” I shrug, hating that idea, but?—
“Are you kidding me?” Wily argues, lightly shoving Caron’s shoulder. “We’re not breaking up the crew.”
Carson shoves him back. “We can’t add to it with some chick and a toddler!”
“Fine, it’ll be a temporary solution.”
“It better be,” Carson warns, grabbing his helmet and pointing it at me with a warning frown. “I want to be able to walk around my house butt-ass naked. I want to be able to bring chicks home and bang them as loud as I fucking want. I can’t do that with a toddler in the room next door.”
I raise my hands. “That’s fair. We’ll figure something out. If you just give me a little time, I’d appreciate it.”
“Make it quick,” he mutters before stalking out of the locker room.
I wince at the rest of my teammates and get various slaps on the back.
“We’ll figure it out. Don’t worry man.”
“I don’t mind having them around.”
“Yeehaw!” Wily makes a coyote call and puts on a thick Southern drawl. “My little cowgirl’s coming home.”