18. Jugs
CHAPTER 18
JUGS
JAGGER
B ay opens her mouth to say something, but I charge on.
“Before you say anything, I want you to know that I didn’t just fuck up with how I handled things. I should have trusted you and told you everything the second Topher blackmailed me. But I’m done letting him keep me away from you. You’re the only one who can keep us apart, Bay, if you decide you can’t forgive me. I’m not saying this to put pressure on you, Nova. I’m saying it because I understand how much I fucked up, but I promise that I learned a huge lesson. If you decide I deserve a chance, I’m going to do everything in my power to be the man you deserve.”
“Jagger, I?—”
I squeeze her hand, determined to continue before I lose every ounce of courage I have.
Gamma House Basement
Three years ago
“Welcome to the Gamma House, pledges!” Travis, the Gamma Delta Tau president and captain of the hockey team, greets us. “If you’re here tonight, you’ve been successful in pledging our prestigious fraternity. Tonight, you’ll be initiated into the ranks of Gamma Delta Tau. Before this night, you were boys, when the sun will rise tomorrow, you’ll wake up as men and brothers. Of course, if you pass the task we selected for you to prove that the blood of all the Gamma brothers before you flows in your veins.”
I’m a legacy. My father and his father before him were members of Gamma Delta Tau. My old man warned me that this would happen, so I’m not too surprised.
He also warned me about what Travis says next.
“Let me remind you that your initiation will have to remain a secret, even from the rest of your brothers. The only one who will know what you had to do is the one selected as your big brother, who will accompany you during the task and will be equally sworn to secrecy. You will also be filmed but fear not. The footage of your challenge will be sent to our central chapter and kept in their database until you graduate. That’s to ensure your loyalty to our brotherhood. After graduation, those videos will be destroyed. They will also be destroyed if you fail to complete your challenge and are not welcomed in the ranks of Gamma Delta Tau as a result. Any questions?”
The seven of us respond with a cacophony of “No, sir.”
I look at the two guys on either side of me. I know them both from the hockey team. One is a center, Topher Mumford. I’ve met him before on the ice during high school. We’re both from Connecticut and our prep schools faced each other often during the state championship. He’s a bit of a douche, but things might feel different if we’re on the same team rather than on opposing sides.
The other one is Cash Hanbury, a goalie who, despite being a freshman, might get a starting spot defending our goal. The other two guys I know from the team are Blaze, a right winger who loves to fight on the ice, and Cole Marshal, another defenseman who has been out on my same line.
The seniors selected as big brothers begin taking their assigned pledges out of the room. The president and another senior, Jake, walk out, leaving me and Mumford in the basement.
“Take a seat on that couch, guys,” Travis says before leaving. “We’ll be back in a second. There’s just some stuff we need to take care of.”
We do as we’re told.
“Nervous?” Mumford asks me.
I shrug, faking more confidence than I feel. “Nah, what’s the worse they can do to us? They can’t haze us, right?”
Mumford laughs. “In theory. But my old man warned me that they’re going to find a way to push us to our limits. After all, Gamma Delta Tau is the most prestigious fraternity on campus.”
I ignore the uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach. Topher Mumford has always been a shit stirrer every time our teams played against each other in high school. He’s probably trying to mess with me just for fun.
“I wasn’t going to share, but since we’re gonna be teammates and brothers,” he says lowering his voice in a conspiratorial way. “I have something to help us through it and take the edge off.”
He slips his hand into the side of his underwear and takes a small plastic bag from inside his boxers. “Nothing like some molly to take the edge off initiation nerves.”
My eyes take in the two white large pills as if they could bite me. I’ve never messed with drugs. A drink or two is one thing at a party, but this is something different. “No, thanks.”
Topher rolls his eyes. “Come on, don’t be a goody two shoes. Whatever they throw at you, this will help you ace initiation with flying colors.”
I’m not convinced. “What if they drug test us?”
“When, during practice? Relax, Connelly. The hockey season starts next week, and this stuff stays in your system a couple of days tops. What you have to avoid is pot. If you take one of these now, by the time we have our first game, you’ll ace any drug test. I’m taking one too and you know I’ve always wanted to be a Cove Knight. I wouldn’t risk it. Trust me, I wouldn’t mess with a brother.”
My resolve begins to wane. I’m way more nervous than I thought about this initiation shit. What harm can this do if I try just once?
“Come on Jagger. You know you want it.”
Fuck it.
I take one of the two white pills and dry swallow it at the same time as he does.
A few minutes pass and I don’t feel any different from before. Maybe I’m immune to this shit or maybe Topher got duped and bought an antacid, believing it was molly.
On second thought, I think this stuff might actually be working. Topher has always been a bit of a talker, but he seems to be getting worse. He won’t shut up about this girl he met at the rush party last week.
If the molly turns Topher into a chatty Kathy, I think it’s lowering my tolerance for his bragging with every passing second.
It’s weird. It’s like his voice is coming from somewhere in the pit of my stomach. I feel it echoing up my esophagus and bouncing around my rib cage.
“There you are.” Travis and Jack come back into the room just when I’m about to plant my fist in Topher’s mouth.
My fists feel heavy and cold, as if they were made of ice. Would his jaw shatter if I hit him now?
I guess I’ll never find out, since the douche got saved by the president and his master of ceremonies.
“Topher, follow Jack.” The frat president says. “Jagger, you’re with me.”
I rise from my seat on the couch and watch Topher and Jack walk out of the basement and into the house.
Travis turns around and walks toward the wall. “Jagger, come on in,” he says, opening a metal door hidden behind a bookshelf. “This is the entrance to a secret part of the house. As a brother, you’re sworn to secrecy.”
Maybe the molly fucks with my filter too and I ask a question I usually would keep to myself. “What if I fail my initiation?”
I know it was the wrong thing to say when Travis shoots me a strange, sheepish look. “I count on you not to fail. If you do, it’s good that Gammas always have each other’s backs and there are plenty of brothers who will help me hide a body.”
Message received. Don’t fuck this up and don’t ask stupid questions.
I follow Travis down a narrow, unfinished hallway and wait behind him as he unlocks a metal door similar to the one that gave access to the secret hallway.
I blink a few times when Jack turns the light on into a sparsely furnished room.
All there is in here is a wooden table that seats eight people, a bookshelf, a six-foot long trunk and a small wooden bar.
We’re also not alone.
A tall, slender woman with blonde hair is sitting on the table. Buck fucking naked.
Her blonde hair frames her face and spills down her shoulders in shiny golden waves. Her hooded eyes are watching me through long, obviously fake lashes.
Another thing I think must be fake is her tits. They’re huge, way too big for the otherwise slim build of the girl.
Maybe I shouldn’t stare at her the way I am, but I can’t help it. Her waist is narrow, her stomach a flat, smooth expanse.
The woman’s hands are resting on her parted knees and I have a full view of her bare, totally shaved pussy.
The only thing she’s wearing is a pair of red high-heeled platform shoes.
Did they hire a hooker?
“Jagger, meet Rosie.” Travis chuckles. “She’s a regular here at the Gamma house and loves to help us on initiation nights. As it is, a few brothers handed her their v-cards. Isn’t it, Rosie?”
The woman doesn’t respond, but I think Travis’s question was rhetorical and he doesn’t really wait for an answer.
“Your task tonight is to fuck Rosie,” Travis informs me. “You have ten minutes to complete your task and you have to come. If you don’t do it, or take too long, it’s a fail.”
Nerves get ahold of me and I wipe my suddenly sweaty hands over my boxer briefs. I stare at Rosie, who hasn’t batted an eyelid since Travis introduced us.
“Are you ready, Jagger? I’m going to start the timer. We don’t have all night.”
I nod on autopilot. I don’t like this. Don’t get me wrong, I’m no saint. I love hookups like the next guy, but usually there’s some flirting, a little banter to let the attraction build. This feels different. Forced, almost transactional.
I don’t know that I can just fuck on command. I look at Rosie, hoping for a smile, a wink, something.
I get nothing. The naked woman isn’t moving a muscle, just like me.
Travis’s smile curls into a mocking smile. “What’s wrong, dude? Are you a virgin? Like I said, Rosie will be more than happy to help you with that.”
My tongue feels glued to the roof of my mouth, but I eventually manage to utter a denial. “I’m no virgin. I’m just—huh, give me a second, Trav.”
Why does this feel wrong? What does it matter if Rosie is here because she enjoys fucking strangers on a basement table or because they paid her? She’s obviously consenting, right?
I close my eyes, swallowing the thick lump that’s constricting my throat all of a sudden.
Fuck, my mom would be horrified if she knew what I’m about to do.
I run a shaky hand through my hair, stifling the groan that’s about to escape from my lips. Why the fuck did I think about my mom? Now, any chance of even getting a boner is nonexistent.
This isn’t any different from any other hookup, right? The fact that I didn’t have to pursue Rosie to convince her to sleep with me doesn’t matter. And it’s not like my mom or Nana would approve of my hookups, either.
Fucking great. Now I’m thinking about my nana too and my dick is about to crawl back into my body.
A sheen of cold sweat is covering my entire body as seconds tick inexorably under Travis’s scrutinizing gaze.
I need to get out of my own fucking head. Jeez, compared to some of the opponents I’ve faced on the ice, Rosie shouldn’t be that scary.
“Jagger?” Travis arches one eyebrow in my direction.
My feet carry me a couple of steps away from the table. There’s no way out of this. Connellys always finish what they started. That’s my family motto and my father and his father before me aced their initiation before hazing was outlawed.
“Hey Rosie, nice to meet ? —”
I stand in front of the naked woman like a fish out of water, with my hand stretched out in front of me. She still doesn’t move and the longer my hand is out there in a formal offering, the more ridiculous I look.
“Rosie, how do you want to do this—what the fuck?” I yelp when my hand lands on Rosie’s naked shoulder and I realize the truth.
“Ha ha.” Travis is laughing so hard that tears are coming out of his eyes.
I can’t help the scowl that forms on my face as I glare at the frat president. “Is she made of fucking silicon?”
Travis stops laughing long enough to boast about the sex doll sitting on the table. “She’s made of the highest grade of silicon. She’s a real life doll. The past president bought it my sophomore year with some of the alumni’s donations. Like I said, Rosie has been an important asset to our initiations and other special occasions. Once you’re a brother, you’re going to be allowed in here any time. Rosie is always going to be at your service, should you need her. She usually goes to sleep in that trunk over there. Horny brothers love to use her.”
“Gee, thanks.” I snort.
Somehow, I can’t see myself coming down here to fuck Rosie. Not to sound big-headed, but getting a real girl to have a good time with me in the sack has never been a problem for me.
The realization that Rosie isn’t a real person however, brings me some relief. “Fuck you, Travis,” I laugh. “So what now? Did I fail because I didn’t realize that Rosie was a doll?”
The frat president laughs again, this time in a chiding way. “What the fuck are you talking about? I started the clock the second you touched her. If I don’t see you fucking her and jizzing in or on her, then you can bet your ass you fucking failed. You can choose where you want to fuck her, or try different places. The brothers have bets going on what you’ll choose.”
Fuck. Quite literally, I guess.
Why didn’t they ask me to steal a rival team’s mascot or TP the Dean’s house or some equally idiotic thing?
Whatever.
I take a deep breath and turn to look at Travis. “Do you have to stand there?”
He smirks, obviously enjoying the hazing aspects of this. “How else would I know that you aren’t cheating? As your big brother, it’s my duty and responsibility to make sure you do this right.”
“I thought I was being filmed?” I frown.
Another loud, jeering laugh. “You are. But that’s just for insurance purposes. No one is allowed to watch the video, not even the president. One brother will, be tasked to send a copy to the central chapter and then the original will be destroyed. We film to make sure you never betray the fraternity during your time here. There’s no other purpose. I will be the only person who knows what happened in this room, and my lips are sealed for eternity. Now stop asking questions and start fucking. You wasted two minutes.”
Ok.
Fuck it. I have to do this. I’m not very excited, but I better change that fast.
“Trav?” I ask. “I wasn’t allowed to take my phone when I was… extracted from my dorm room. Can I borrow yours?”
Travis tilts his head to the side. “Why? Are you gonna call someone to talk you through this? I thought you said you weren’t a virgin?”
I roll my eyes. “No, I would just like some help for inspiration. If I have to be done in eight minutes ? —”
“Seven minutes now.” He corrects me. “And no, you can’t watch porn. First off, that would be very offensive to Rosie. Besides, the point of this task is to prove that you can do anything that’s needed for the good of your brothers, no matter how difficult or unexpected.”
Right.
I focus on Rosie. Her body is perfect in an artificial kind of way. Not just because she’s made of silicon, it’s her proportions that are enticing and yet completely unrealistic now that I take a closer look at her. She looks like those very hot characters in manga or video games. Slim and yet curvy in all the places where today’s beauty standards dictate that a woman should have curves.
I exhale, moving a few strands of Rosie’s long blonde hair away from her shoulder.
“Ok, Rosie,” I don’t know why I’m even talking to her, seriously. “Let’s do this. I’m gonna push you down on the table now, ok?”
I’m such an idiot. It’s not like she can say no, right?
As I push the doll down on the table with one hand, I sneak the other one inside my boxer briefs to grab myself and get this show on the road.
To my surprise, the second I fist my shaft, I’m painfully hard.
The first tug of my fist over my taut skin sends intense sparks of pleasure to the base of my spine and my balls tighten, tingling with sensation.
What the actual fuck? This is unusual. I mean, I’m a guy and I still jerk off no matter how often I hook up.
The experience is always enjoyable, but my own hand never feels this good.
I know it’s not because of Rosie. I’d rather be anywhere but here right now.
There’s only one thing I can think about. It must be the effect of the molly Topher gave me.
Whatever.
If the molly makes this easier, I guess I’ll have to thank Mumford. Even though, of course, I’m not going to be allowed to tell him what I did in here.
Curiosity eventually gets the best of me and I run an exploratory hand down Rosie’s neck, tracing her shoulder and descending to her big tits.
The feeling of the silicon doesn’t really do it for me. It feels nothing like real skin. Rosie might be extremely realistic, but she’s an inanimate object, and she’s cold to the touch.
My hand continues its journey down Rosie’s waist and flat stomach until I find her very realistic pussy.
I’m reminded that I’m not alone in the room when I explore the little nub at the top of the doll’s outer lips.
“Dude,” Travis mocks me. “She’s not a real girl. You don’t have to try to make it good for her. I don’t even know why they gave her a clit when she can’t feel anything.”
I ignore him. I’m just curious and a little fascinated by how anatomically accurate Rosie looks.
“Hey Trav, can I have some lube?” I ask instead, because it’s more than obvious that Rosie’s clit won’t help get her wet either.
“No lube, sorry.” Travis laughs.
Asshole.
I use two fingers to part her outer lips, dipping inside the doll’s pussy, and stop in my tracks. “What the ? —”
I stare at the gooey, white substance that coats my fingers. “Is this ? —?”
It’s impossible to miss Travis’s amused grin as he shrugs. “Someone must have used her earlier and forgotten to clean her up. Like I said, she’s here for whenever the mood strikes. The good news is that now you don’t need lube.”
My stomach turns at just the thought of sticking my dick in some stranger’s cum. Shockingly, though, my cock doesn’t deflate despite my disgust. It must be the molly. I don’t know if I should thank Topher or cuss him out for convincing me to take it.
I guess I’ll have to get a little freaky and fuck Rosie in the ass.
My cock twitches at the idea and I realize how fucking horny I am.
The unsettling thing is that this isn’t the usual excitement of a real hookup. My mind couldn’t be more turned off by this entire situation. It’s my body that seems to be buzzing with the need for release.
Rosie’s puckered hole is again extremely realistic, but to be honest, I’m a little worried about sticking my dick in such a tight hole without any lube.
Again, I go on with one finger first. “Are you shitting me? Come the fuck on.” I groan when my fingers encounter something gooey that looks exactly like what was in her pussy at a closer inspection.
“Fine,” I bite out, my cock now pulsing in synch with my accelerated heartbeat with a need I can no longer ignore. “I’m gonna fuck her mouth then.”
When Travis giggles, I know what I’m gonna find even before I check inside Rosie’s mouth. By the way, she has silicone teeth and a super realistic tongue thats coated in the same white, sticky stuff I’ve already encountered twice.
“Dude,” I turn to look at Travis. “This is ? —”
The frat president’s smile widens. “This is what you call a buttered donut. I’ll email everyone tomorrow to remind them to clean up after using Rosie. It’s no biggie though, right? Who hasn’t shared with a brother after a wild party?”
I’m not sure if Travis is baiting me to admit that I’ve never had a threesome. I mean, I have. But with two girls, never with another guy.
“I assume a condom is out of the question?” I ask.
“You assume correctly, brother. Also, tick tock. You have four minutes.”
This is a fucking nightmare. I’m not about to risk catching an STD, not even for the sake of my family’s legacy.
There’s only one thing I can do. Since I was denied lube, I spit on my palm and coat my shaft after lowering my boxers.
I spit again, this time applying my saliva to the valley between Rosie’s breasts. I scoot up until I’m straddling her chest and nestle my hard length between her huge tits.
The heightened sensation from the molly is a small blessing because it takes me just under two minutes to complete my task.
I hold Rosie’s tits tighter together as I slide forward one last time and still as the first spurt of my load coats her neck, spraying on her chin and mouth.
My eyes are closed and it takes me a few seconds to get my bearings as my whole body is still shaking with a violent, almost painful orgasm.
“Day-um,” Travis barks, bringing me back to reality. “We’ve done this task a few times, dude, but this is a first. Usually the pledges are either too grossed out by the leftover jizz and fail—it’s yogurt by the way, we would never jeopardize a brother’s health like that—or they get their freak on and just go at it with gusto. I’ve never seen anyone fucking her tits like you did. I don’t know if I feel disappointed that you didn’t go for the buttered donut or impressed that you thought out of the box. I guess it’s weird more than anything that I’ve never thought about it, since Rosie has huge jugs.”
I ignore him, sliding down the table and getting back to my feet. I tuck myself back in, but my cock is still painfully hard. I guess the molly took a minute to act, but now my system is in complete overdrive.
“That’s it, brother,” Travis slaps me on the back. “You’ve passed your initiation with flying colors. And I think I’ve found the perfect nickname for you on the ice. Jugs. I’m going to announce it when we announce the results, but how you earned that name will remain a secret between big brother and little brother.”
BAY
There’s a beat of silence when Jagger concludes his story.
I’m supposed to be mad at him, and I still am. Don’t get me wrong. A part of me understands why he panicked, though.
Ryker is the first one who talks in the secret room of the Gamma house basement. “That was quite the initiation. I had to break into the arena at Hemlock and skate naked for about ten minutes.”
I can’t help but giggle at Ryker. “That must have been quite a sight.”
His laugh is self-deprecating. “Yeah, right? I promise you, Cinnamon, the cold air into the arena doesn’t do a guy any favors.”
Jagger makes a pained noise that attracts our attention; he’s staring at the trunk where he said Rosie is kept as if the Gamma house resident sex doll could jump out to bite him.
“Let’s get out of here,” he says, his eyes bouncing around the room to avoid looking me and Ryker in the eye. “This was obviously a useless exercise. Maybe Topher keeps that video in his pocket or somewhere truly out of reach. I wouldn’t be surprised if it wasn’t even on campus.”
I consider his words. “No, I disagree. It’s not the way Topher operates. If he threatened you with that video, it means he can release it at any time. It must be on campus and Topher considers the Gamma house his territory. It has to be in the house.”
We file out of the basement just in time for my pizza to arrive. “Let’s eat something,” I offer.
We eat in silence, each of us lost in our own thoughts.
I can’t stop wondering where Topher could have hidden that video. I’m sure it must be a physical copy. He wouldn’t risk keeping it anywhere someone could hack into. I know my ex too well.
Thinking makes me hungry and I realize I polished off two slices of pizza. “You don’t like extra spicy pepperoni?” I ask.
Jagger barely touched the only slice he put in his place, his golden eyes fixed on me. “No, the pizza is good. I’m not hungry, sorry.”
Being mad at him doesn’t mean I don’t understand his concerns. “We’ll find that video. Just give me some time to think about where Topher could have hidden it.” I place my hand on his much larger one on pure instinct, almost without thinking.
His gaze zeroes in on our hands for a long moment. Then those intense hazel eyes come up to look at me. I feel his gaze like a slow, sensual caress. Goosebumps scatter on my arm, my nipples harden as if Jagger was running his fingers over my skin. Whether I’m mad at him or not, nothing changes the way his touch affects me. It takes one look from Jagger to get my entire body humming with need.
“I’m sorry, Bay,” he says, lowering his gaze. “I know I fucked up anyway, but I understand if what I did for my initiation is a deal breaker.”
“It’s not.” The words leave my mouth before I can give the entire thing more consideration.
He looks at me again, as if he doesn’t believe what he’s hearing. “Come again?”
I sigh, more confused than ever. Jagger broke my heart and my feelings right now are all over the place. “Look, I understand why you don’t want that video to become viral. I get why you’d be embarrassed if your parents saw it. But it isn’t a deal breaker for me.”
Something flashes in Jagger’s eyes. For the most part, it’s fear, but there’s a hint of hope in the golden depth of his eyes.
The green flecks in his irises expand as I look at my hand, still on his.
“The deal breaker is how you ended things between us. You chose to hurt me rather than trusting me with the truth.”
He lowers his gaze. “I know I hurt you, Nova. You can be honest though if what I did is such a turn off that you wouldn’t be able to be with me even if I managed to earn your forgiveness.”
The raw honesty in his voice pulls at my heartstrings. “Jagger, it’s more complicated than that. I want to be totally honest with you, because I care about you. I care so damn much. When I thought you moved on, it wouldn’t have hurt me that much if I didn’t.”
It’s strange, but telling him how I really feel makes me feel so exposed. More exposed than when I let him explore my body in a way no one else had ever done before him. “What you did in that basement isn’t a deal breaker. If anything, it was… kinda hot.”
“Hot?” he sounds surprised.
Heat rises to my face. “Yeah, hot. I couldn’t help imagining you doing that with me.”
I see the hope in his eyes as he meets my gaze again. “Really? You didn’t think me fucking that doll was disgusting?”
“No. You were put in an impossible situation. Aside from the fact that your initiation was very close to hazing, I think the one who should be more concerned about that story coming out is Topher. He gave you a controlled substance.”
Jagger barks out a laugh. “Yeah, that part won’t be in the video, though.”
He’s right. “I swear my ex is the devil. But you should have trusted me and told me about this whole situation when he called for the bro-code and blackmailed you. I’m sorry, but I can’t be with someone who would rather keep secrets and hurt me rather than trust me.”
He hangs his head. “I understand. Is there a way I could earn back your trust? Please, Nova. I’d do anything.”
I hate that I’m hurting him now, but I can’t lie to him. “I don’t know. You could try, but I don’t want to make empty promises. Besides, maybe you should lie low until we find that video.”
Jagger nods. There’s a new determination in his eyes when he looks at me again. “I am going to try. I’m going to warn my dad about the video, so he can be prepared. I’m not going to rub pursuing you in Topher’s face, but I’m not going to cower to him. If he releases that video, I’m going to face the consequences. Please Bay, just give me one last chance.”
I stand up, as if my chair was on fire. “I told you. I can’t keep you from trying, but I can’t promise anything. It’s not just this, Jagger. I have so much stuff on my plate right now and I don’t know if I can handle the extra drama.”
Both he and Ryker react to my words.
“What else is bothering you?” Jagger asks.
“Cinnamon, are you alright?” Ryker’s voice is full of concern.
“I—school is kicking my ass, and I thought I could get my social media sponsors to help me with the Zeta house, but they all turned me down. It looks like I’m going to be the last ever president of Zeta Theta Beta in Star Cove.”
Ryker takes my hand in his. “Why? The house was insured, right?”
I sigh, working hard to contain the tears that well in my eyes. “It’s not that simple.”
I explain about all the new regulations the Dean made me aware of and how the fire was deemed arson.
The guys try to comfort me, but this day has kicked my ass in more ways than one. “I’m sorry guys, I’m not going to be good company right now. I just need to be alone.”
I’m relieved when they don’t insist on hanging out and follow me out of the kitchen.
“Can I call you later?” Ryker asks with obvious concern in his ice-blue eyes.
I nod. “Sure. If I don’t pick up, don’t be mad. I’ll try to have an early night. I have an eight am class tomorrow morning.”
Laughter and male voices coming from the living room attract our attention. Great. It sounds like everyone is back from the bar.
“Sorry if I don’t walk you to the door, guys,” I say, making a beeline for the stairs. “I just can’t stomach another brush-in with Topher right now. I swear if he comes near me, I’ll make sure he’ll sing soprano for the rest of his life.”
I climb the stairs to my room in full meltdown mode. My heart is bleeding because I don’t know if there’s a way back to each other for me and Jagger. And I’m dreading having to break the news to my sisters that after this year, the Star Cove chapter of our sorority will cease to exist.
I’m so wrapped up in my own misery, so busy throwing one hell of a pity party for one, that I don’t even notice that the door to my room is unlocked.
“What the fuck are you doing in my room?” I bark when I see Topher standing by the chest of drawers right next to the door.
At least my ex has the decency to startle at my tone. “Nothing, I was just hoping to have a little chat with you, sexy girl.”
I don’t know what pisses me off the most, his cocky smile or the way he came into my room as if it was his God given right. “You and I have nothing to say to each other. Now leave, or I swear to God, I’m gonna scream.”
He remains calm, his smile widening. “Whoa, slow down. I should be the one who’s mad at you, Bay.”
It’s my turn to laugh. “You must have had too much of Puck Luck’s cheap beer and you’re clearly drunk. That’s the only explanation for the nonsense that’s coming out of your mouth.”
I have to give it to Topher. He has an excellent poker face. “Nonsense? You owe me an apology, Bay.”
“For what?” I snicker.
Topher crosses his arms over his chest, his smile fading as his lips tighten with anger. “You embarrassed me in front of the entire team at your sister’s house. You treated me like shit and then you spewed some pretty damaging lies about me having a small cock.”
The best course of action with him would probably be to ignore him; but the temptation to lash out is impossible to resist. “I said nothing but the truth. And by the way, I never called your cock small. I just said that out of the four men I slept with, you have the smallest cock.”
He moves so fast, I didn’t see it coming. His fingers close over my wrist before I can move out of the way. “Stop lying. Do you think this bullshit makes me look bad?”
My smile widens as I shove him off me. “I just think that if you get so aggro about it, people will start thinking that the shoe fits.”
His glare is full of dark contempt. “Fuck you, Bay. I guess my parents were right that you weren’t good enough for me. I thought it was just because of the obvious difference in social class between us, but it’s more than that. I’m glad I didn’t propose to a dirty puck bunny.”
I should feel offended by his words, but I realize that I don’t care about what Topher and his parents think about me. “Oh, and you know I’m a puck bunny by experience, right? Bianca was just the tip of the iceberg. I can’t believe I didn’t see that you’ve been fucking every single one of them behind my back, even when we were together.”
His eyes narrow into two furious slits. “You’re one to talk. Are you fucking both Ryker and Cole? If you’re doing it just to make me jealous, mission accomplished. You have no fucking idea how pissed off I am, Bay. Believe me, you don’t want to see this side of me.”
Does it make me petty that I’m glad he’s furious? “Are you threatening me, Topher?”
He ignores my question to ask one of his own. “Where did Cole sleep these last few nights? If you think I’ll go back on my word and allow him back into the house, you’re fucking delusional.”
I shake my head. “You’re pathetic, Topher. Ryker offered him his guest room, so Cole doesn’t need you anymore. You can kick him out of Gamma Delta Tau for all he cares.”
My words hit the intended target. I know it by the way my ex’s jaw grinds. “Take my advice. If you want a chance to marry rich, go with Ryker. At least he comes from money. But in that case, I’d ditch Cole. Ryker’s family is just as prestigious, old money, as mine. If his parents caught wind of what a slut you are, they’d cut him off if he married you. Believe me, you don’t want to bet solely on hockey to live the life of luxury you’re fighting so hard for. All it takes is one career ending injury, and you’d be working your ass off to support them.”
The way he spits out those last words is so full of malice that it chills me to the bone. It sounds more like a threat than an ominous prediction, and I snap. “I don’t need anyone to pay my bills. I’ve been doing that since before I graduated high school.”
The corner of his lips lifts with a malevolent satisfaction. “Aww poor Bay. You know better than me that I’m right. Cole is too much of a risk because without a NHL contract, he’d be penniless. Ryker is out of your league the same way I was. So was Jagger, but he got bored with you and moved on.”
“Did he? Or did you blackmail him like you did with Cole? What are you holding over Jagger’s head, Topher?” I bluff. I don’t want him to know that Jagger came clean about that video, not before I find it and delete it.
He takes my bait. “Ha, you know me too well, after all. You’re right, I know something Jagger is hiding. I gave him a choice, like I did with Cole. Keep seeing you and be shamed, or give you up. That was all it took to make him dump you. You’re welcome, by the way.”
I blink, confused. “Welcome? I’m not thanking you, asshole.”
His smile is chiding when he leans closer to whisper in my ear. “You should thank me. If he gave you up so easily, he didn’t really care, right?”
His words hurt more than if he had put his hands on me. Topher nailed exactly why I’m not sure if I can forgive Jagger. It isn’t just that I can’t trust he isn’t going to do it again. It’s how easily Jagger walked away that hurts so much that I don’t know if I can move past it.
The tears I’ve been fighting since this confrontation started are threatening to spill out any second now. I’ll be damned before I cry in front of Topher. “I don’t have to listen to your bullshit. I still don’t understand what you’re doing in my room. Get out.”
Relief floods me when he leaves. I sag against the door, willing my frantic heart to slow down.
Finding Topher in my room is becoming old news. I should start locking it every time I leave, even for just one second. Or maybe I should change the locks, just in case he has a copy of the key.