Chapter 18
John leaps to his feet, spilling his beer. “Shit.”
“You must be Sutton,” the pregnant woman says, focusing on her. She looks around the room. “Or is it you?” She jabs a finger at me.
I shake my head.
Sutton stands. “I’m Sutton. Who are you?”
“Olivia. Please don’t marry my baby daddy. He only proposed because you were going to leave, but me and the baby need him more.”
Sutton’s eyes widen, her jaw dropping.
“She’s crazy!” John says. “Don’t listen to her.”
“We’ve been seeing each other for two years,” Olivia says. “And we were happy until this whole proposal thing.”
“Proposal thing,” Sutton echoes softly before swaying on her feet. Cal puts a protective arm around her, anchoring her to his side.
“Olivia, you need to go,” Cal says firmly. “You too, John. Seems like you two have a lot to talk about.”
When John doesn’t move fast enough, Bill grabs him by the arm and escorts him to the door.
“Don’t come back,” Bill says, pushing him out the door. He shuts the door behind them and locks it.
Sutton’s lower lip wobbles. Cal goes to hug her, but she shakes her head, pulling off her engagement ring.
She unlocks the door and throws it at John. “Screw you!”
I watch through the large front window as John scrambles to pick the ring up off the grass and offers it to Olivia. Amazingly, she accepts the ring, and they leave with their arms around each other.
Sutton slams the door and puts her hands to her temples. “Stupid, stupid, stupid!” Her voice rises to an ear-splitting register.
“He’s stupid not you,” Cal says.
Tears slide down Sutton’s cheeks, and she wipes them away angrily.
“I’m so sorry,” I say.
Bill crosses his arms. “I never liked him.”
“Dad!” Sutton exclaims. “Why didn’t you say anything?”
“I know better than to get between a couple. Why do you think your mom stopped talking to her parents?”
“What do you mean?” Cal asks.
“She said they moved away,” Sutton says.
Bill takes a seat, gesturing for us to follow.
Then he shares a story about his wife’s parents’ disapproval of them and how nothing he did could change their minds.
They wanted her to marry a guy who would take over their dairy farm.
That wasn’t him. “I was a good architect until I couldn’t focus anymore.
Once you lose your heart, it’s hard to find meaning in a job. ”
“That’s called grief,” Cal says. “You could still go back to being an architect.”
“It’s been fifteen years since I did that. So much has changed. No, that part of my life’s over.”
Cal exhales sharply, resting his elbows on his knees.
It hits me that Cal’s afraid to love. He lost someone close to him not once but twice at a time when he really needed someone in his life.
He was young, eighteen, nineteen. And his dad must’ve been no help.
Even now, his dad’s just surviving. Oh God, I want to help, but I don’t know what to do.
I want to help Cal to love again, to love me.
And I want to help Bill and Sutton too. But I can’t fix this family, and it’s not my place to do so.
What will happen to Bill if Sutton moves more than a thousand miles away?
On the other hand, is Sutton obligated to take care of her father for the rest of his life? He’s a healthy man in his fifties.
Will Sutton do okay with such a big change in her life? Will Cal ever let love in again? My mind is spinning, my heart aching. The only thing I can think to do is be a good boss.
“Do you want some time off, Sutton?” I ask. “Given the circumstances.”
Sutton lifts her chin. “I’ve wasted too much time on John as it is. I’m going to take that job.” She turns to her dad. “If it’s okay with you.”
“It’s okay with me.” He looks toward the ceiling for a long moment before meeting Sutton’s eyes. “Mom’s okay with it too.”
Sutton blinks back tears. “Thanks.”
My throat chokes with emotion. The great love he must’ve lost. He’s still living with a ghost to find comfort. It’s at once beautiful and heartbreaking.
“You can stay with me for a while,” Cal says to Sutton. “I’ll take the couch.”
“You’re welcome to stay with me too,” I say. “We have a couple of spare bedrooms. I share a house with my cousin Harper.”
Sutton gives me a watery smile. Cal jumps up, grabs a tissue, and hands it to her. “I’ll stay with Cal, but thanks.”
Cal sits on the edge of the sofa and puts an arm around his sister. “You can stay with me as long as you need to. I’ll help you pack. We’ll video chat with Dad every week. Okay, Dad?”
Bill keeps a stiff upper lip and nods once. His eyes are red.
Sutton rests her head against Cal’s side and sighs. He kisses the top of her head and gives me a relieved look. I wish I could hug them all.
Cal
I changed my flight to Monday so I could fly back with Sutton.
Mackenzie did too. That gave us the whole weekend with Dad.
Mackenzie jumped right in with my family, supportive and just the right amount of sympathetic with Sutton.
She even organized Dad’s kitchen and made meal planning easy with ready-made grocery lists.
But the topper—she baked apple pie for him.
I had no idea she could make pie from scratch. He’s in love.
As I dig into my slice of pie, sitting across the table from Dad, I’m starting to think I’m in love with her too.
My heart jumps at the thought, but the usual panic feeling doesn’t follow.
The sound of female laughter reaches us from the living room.
Mackenzie’s a miracle worker. Getting a laugh out of Sutton the day after her eight-year relationship ends is not something I could pull off.
Dad points his fork at me. “This is the best pie I’ve ever tasted. Hang onto that one.”
“Sure, that’s a good reason to be with someone. Pie.”
“I’ve seen the way you look at her. And I can’t imagine she’d come all this way, taking care of all of us, if she didn’t feel the same way.”
“She came for Sutton.”
“Come on, Cal.”
“It’s complicated.” That’s what Mackenzie said about us when we were fake dating. I don’t know what we are now, but complicated about sums it up.
Dad takes my pie from me.
“Hey!”
“You get this back when you get your head on straight.”
“What? I suck at relationships.”
“Or maybe you’re afraid you’ll get hurt, so you blow them up before they can go anywhere.”
“No, that’s not it.” Is it? I reach for my pie, and he takes a bite of it. Dammit.
“You don’t deserve her pie.”
I throw my palms up. “What do you want me to do, be like you? Marry someone, make them the center of my universe, and then lose everything?”
“I didn’t lose everything. Mom’s still with me. She’s here with you too, watching from above.”
I drop my head in my hands. I’m glad it makes him feel better to believe it, but I just can’t.
She’s gone, and he has to live the rest of his life without her.
He’s never been able to move on or let go.
He hasn’t even donated her clothes. They’re all in the dresser and closet exactly as she left them.
Her muddy shoes are still by the back door.
I have nothing left from Brenda. Her parents took it all. I had to delete the pictures from my phone. They only caused more pain. This is why I keep the pain in a box because otherwise I’ll be like Dad with no life whatsoever.
“Mom wants you to be happy.”
I lift my head, suddenly exhausted. “Dad, you lost your career. You only leave the house for work. You never do anything or visit anyone.”
“I have all I need right here.”
“Sutton is leaving. It’ll be just you here. What’re you going to do when you retire? Sit home by yourself all the time?”
His chin juts out. “I’ll do whatever I want. If I want to stay home, that’s my right.”
I let out a breath. “I don’t want to fight. You live your life, and I’ll live mine.” I get up and get another slice of pie for myself. I’m not going to fight him over my pie.
“Cal, love is worth it.”
I stand by the counter and shovel pie in my mouth.
“You can’t let fear hold you back,” he says.
I swallow the pie that’s suddenly like concrete going down my throat. “Dad, when I look at you and what you’ve lost, all I see is a cautionary tale.”
“A cautionary tale!”
I set down my fork. “You’ve been depressed for fifteen years.”
“But I was happy for twenty-six years. I’ll take that any day. I want you to have someone special in your life.”
I shake my head. “Maybe I’ll get a dog.”
“A dog is no substitute for a wife.”
“Oh my God,” Sutton says from behind us. “You’re embarrassing yourselves and me.”
Mackenzie gives me a cheeky smile. “You’d need a cat for a wife substitute. Make that nine. You can be the crazy cat man.”
Dad laughs. My ears burn hot, though she doesn’t seem in the least offended. Maybe having brothers made her immune to insults.
“I sure do love this pie, Mackenzie,” Dad says, a hint of worship in his eyes.
Mackenzie pulls out her phone. “What’s your number? I’ll text you the recipe. Then you can make it whenever you want.”
“Oh, I wouldn’t know how to bake anything like that.”
“That’s what recipes are for. And you know what? Even the baking fails are tasty.”
She pulls out a chair and texts him while talking to him about easy dinner recipes and her favorite cooking shows. By the time she’s done, Dad’s agreed to start cooking for himself and trying a baked recipe on the weekends.
Is there anything this woman can’t do?
I spend the rest of the weekend marveling over Mackenzie’s ease with Dad and Sutton, even me.
She’s surprisingly domestic while also being take-charge and organized.
She’s a whirlwind of power and love. I don’t think I’ve ever met another woman like her.
She really is the best person I’ve ever met.
Maybe I should tell her that when she’s awake.
On the flight home, Mackenzie falls asleep on my shoulder. Sutton’s on my other side, watching a movie. I smooth Mackenzie’s hair back, tempted to kiss her on the head. Could I see myself with her in the long run?
I tense. What if…I push the dark fear down. If I don’t think about it, it doesn’t exist. Fear stops me. I want the opposite—
Hope.
But after we land and get our luggage, Mackenzie says, “I’m in long-term parking.
Sutton, I’ll see you tomorrow at work. Cal, I’ll see you at the vow-renewal ceremony next weekend.
If it’s okay with you, I’ll tell Mom our fake relationship ended after the ceremony.
I don’t want any weirdness on their special day. ”
My throat catches, and I clear it. “Right.” Why was I thinking there was more between us? I feel like a fool. Dad’s talk put all kinds of crazy ideas in my head.
Sutton wrinkles her nose. “Fake relationship?”
“Long story,” I say, holding Mackenzie’s gaze. She doesn’t blink.
“About to be resolved soon,” Mackenzie says. She turns to Sutton. “When you meet my mom, you’ll understand.”
“No one would believe you were faking it,” Sutton says.
I study Mackenzie. Maybe she wasn’t faking it?
“Good!” Mackenzie says brightly. “We’ve done our job.” She hugs Sutton and gives me a short wave before striding away, pulling her wheeled suitcase behind her.
“Who’s having a vow-renewal ceremony?” Sutton asks me.
“Her parents.”
“Sounds romantic. Good time for you to make your move.”
“Let’s go find your luggage.”