53. Nell
53
NELL
I know it will be bad. I just don’t know how bad.
As soon as Charlie tells me it was ‘only Nate’ that he saw walking away from the kitchen, my heart sinks. I have no idea if Nate actually witnessed us kissing, but if he did . . . Well, clearly he’s not going to be too happy about it. Particularly as, just two nights ago, I rejected his advances with the excuse that I didn’t want to mix work and personal stuff. And now here I am, snogging the face off my fellow intern in the office kitchen.
I shouldn’t have done it. I know that. But I just couldn’t wait any longer. Hearing Charlie say all that stuff about the job – how he told Nate and Bishi that I was perfect for it – it was like a switch flipped inside me.
The memory of those photos falling out of his jacket still stings. It probably will for a while. But I believe him when he says he’s sorry. And I know how I feel when I’m with him. It’s like I don’t have to try to fight it any more. I can just accept it – I have fallen for him. The sweet relief of being able to surrender to the fact that I like this boy a lot. A lot.
But the thought that Nate saw us together . . . It makes my stomach swoop.
For the next few hours, I sit at my desk tinkering away on some spreadsheets Bishi has sent me and small-talking with Jarrod. But the whole time, anxiety is gnawing away in my chest. Somehow, I just know a storm is coming. And after lunch, it arrives.
Talia told me to come down to the studio in the afternoon, so I could watch the final dress rehearsals. I go and grab Charlie from the nook first – thankfully managing to resist snogging him again – and we head down together. At his request, I already emailed him the final draft of the Facebook Mums sketch, and he loved it. He seems as excited about seeing it performed as I am.
But as we step out of the lift, we see Talia stomping down the corridor towards us, an angry frown on her face.
‘Hey, Talia . . . What’s up?’ I ask.
‘Nell, what the fuck?’ she hisses. ‘I’ve just checked the running order – why has the Facebook Mums sketch been cut?’
My heart thumps. ‘What?’
‘It’s not on the running order!’ She carries on towards the studio, and Charlie and I follow her.
‘What’s going on?’ Charlie asks.
‘I have no idea,’ I tell him.
But I know. In that moment, I absolutely know.
Talia swings the studio door open and starts marching down the steps towards the stage. There are various technicians and camera people milling about, as well as Bishi, Noah and Rich, and a few of the actors, near the wings. But they’re all watching what’s happening on the stage. Kay DeBlue – dressed in an extremely awesome gumshoe detective costume – is standing with her hands on her hips, shouting at Nate.
‘Why the hell not?’ she yells.
‘It’s just not working, OK?’ Nate snaps back.
‘Not working?’ Kay looks around, stupefied. ‘This is the funniest fucking sketch I’ve ever read. It’s working, Nate.’
‘It’s gone down really well in every rehearsal,’ Bishi points out.
‘What’s going on?’ Talia demands as she reaches the foot of the stage. She glares up at Nate, who gives a casual shrug.
‘I’m cutting the Facebook Mums thing. I don’t think it’s strong enough.’
Kay lets out a frustrated groan, and I feel Charlie grab my arm. ‘What the hell is Nate on about?’ he whispers. ‘The sketch is awesome!’
We’re still standing at the top of the stairs, and I pull him back out into the empty corridor. We can hear Talia, Nate and Kay arguing loudly through the door. My heart is thundering now. ‘I think I know what this is about, Charlie . . .’
‘What?’ he urges.
I swallow. ‘A couple of nights ago, I went to the pub with Nate, to talk about my sketches. And he kind of . . . made a move on me.’
Charlie’s eyes double in size and his face turns red. ‘What?’
‘I tried to let him down gently and tell him I wasn’t into it,’ I whisper. ‘But he seemed really pissed off afterwards, and he’s been acting weird to me ever since. And then earlier, when he saw us in the kitchen . . .’
I let the sentence tail off, and I watch as Charlie finishes it in his head. He squeezes the bridge of his nose hard. ‘This is . . . This can’t happen, Nell. You need to say something.’
‘What am I supposed to say?’ I hiss. ‘Just march in there and accuse the head writer – my boss – of cutting my sketch just because I didn’t kiss him? I’ll sound like a paranoid idiot. And anyway, maybe Nate’s being genuine. Maybe he really doesn’t think the sketch is working.’
‘Nell, you know that is bollocks.’ Charlie sighs, shaking his head. ‘Everyone else thinks it’s great, except Nate. And you cannot let your dream of getting a sketch on this show be ruined by some jealous dickhead.’
Amid all the panic and anxiety coursing through me, I suddenly feel a powerful surge of affection for Charlie. Instinctively, I wrap my arms around him and he squeezes me tightly. ‘We can’t let them cut it, Nell. I’ll tell them if you don’t want to. I don’t care.’
I open my mouth to speak, but nothing comes out. I genuinely don’t know what is the right thing to do. Charlie has turned down the writers’ assistant job – surely it has to be mine? But if I go in there and humiliate the man responsible for giving it to me, then . . . then maybe it won’t be.
I stare at Charlie, trying to decide what to do. In the silence, I realise the argument coming through the studio door has stopped.
I push the door open and we step back inside.
Kay, Nate and Talia are all still up on the stage. But they aren’t looking at each other. They’re looking at the side door. Or, more accurately, they’re looking at who’s just walked through it.
‘What the hell is going on in here?’ Nick Francombe bellows.