Chapter Thirty-Six
Chapter Thirty-Six
It was ten days until Felicity’s home sale, and Jess wanted to make sure the day went without a hitch. Their core group of marketeers were all going to be there, even though it was a Saturday: they’d got cover for their stalls, and would show potential buyers round and keep an eye on them. Roger might bring a clipboard. Kirsty was going to make a special batch of muffins. Spade said they would set up the Market Misfits in a corner of the living room for a set. If there wasspace, though, because—
‘You’re going to wear a hole in that umbrella if you keep rubbing it like that.’
Jess moved the orange polka-dot umbrella to the other end of the counter. ‘It’s already got a tear in it, which is why I took it off the shelf.’
‘Seconds?’ Wendy asked.
‘I think so.’
‘Mark it up then, and put it in the basket.’
Jess got the labels out from under the counter.
‘When you’ve done that, I want you to start thinking about how the shop looks.’
‘What?’ She glanced at her boss, who was standing in the storeroom doorway.
‘A complete autumn refresh,’ she said. ‘Change as much as you want. All the displays, the decor, will be down to you. How we organise the stock. Any new lines you think we should introduce. In a couple of weeks, we’ll close for a day or two, once you’ve had a chance to plan it all out.’
‘Wendy, I don’t—’
‘Otherwise, you’re going to wear holes in all the merchandise to match the one in your heart.’
Jess scoffed. ‘Come on—’
‘I’m serious.’ Wendy’s voice was somehow firm and soft all at once. ‘You need to keep busy, and I know we’ve got Felicity’s house sale coming up, but you also have to spend a large proportion of your time here, and I want you to be occupied. She was in here yesterday, by the way.’
‘Who was?’
‘Felicity. With Spade.’
Jess had spent most of yesterday lying on her bed, staring at the ceiling and replaying her conversation with Ash over and over. She’d had to blow-dry her yellow yeti cushion before she went to bed, because it was soaked through with tears. She’d even considered calling her mum and dad at one point, but had talked herself out of it.
‘How were they?’ she asked, even though she was in constant touch with Felicity, now, and didn’t need an update.
‘They placed an order.’ Wendy pointed at the gilt-framed mirror. ‘For that.’
Jess blinked, a fresh wave of emotions washing over her. ‘That... that is—’
‘I know. She’s asked me to save it for her until after the sale. Obviously, she’s made some changes in her life.’
‘Big changes,’ Jess agreed. ‘But I still didn’t think she’d ever actually buy the mirror.’
‘That’s down to you.’
‘Ash did more than me.’ Jess may have led him there, but it had been his patience, his understanding of how to approach the situation that had encouraged Felicity to face her hoarding. ‘But I’m so happy that she’s confident enough to buy the mirror, and that she came up with this house sale idea, and that she’s... you know, made friends with Spade.’
Wendy smiled. ‘The most unlikely couple, and yet, somehow, perfect for each other.’
‘I agree.’
‘Also, Enzo’s doing so much better now. His stall’s flourishing, so he’s sorted until Carolina feels up to working again. The Market Misfits are a hit, and Lola’s raised her profile exponentially, which means all your projects are done, just as you’re in need of distractions.’
‘I don’t need anything.’
‘I beg to differ,’ Wendy said gently. ‘Ash doesn’t strike me as the kind of person you get over easily.’
Jess’s laugh was hollow. ‘Thanks for that.’
‘No point in sugar-coating things, is there?’
‘No,’ Jess admitted. ‘There isn’t.’
‘The best movement is forward movement,’ Wendy went on. ‘I know it’s only a small thing, but if you help me redesign the shop for autumn, then at least you’ll be focused on that. It may not have worked out with Ash, but you have a whole lorry-load of people who care about you. Don’t forget that, Jess.’
‘Of course not,’ Jess said quietly, and she knew her boss was right. It was better to focus on the positives, the things she could do, instead of the ones she had no control over.
‘Sometimes, life is too sucky for words,’ Lola said. ‘I’m so fucking sorry, Jess. He’s an idiot.’
‘An idiot in hot guy’s clothing,’ Malik added, carrying three cups of tea into the living room. ‘He sure pretended well, didn’t he?’
‘Did you even meet him?’ Jess asked. ‘Thank you for the tea.’
‘Nope,’ Malik said. ‘But Lola’s told me all about him. What a fakey McFakemeister.’ He pushed his glasses up his nose. ‘You don’t need him, Jess.’
‘Thanks, Malik.’
‘And, if you want to take your mind off it, I have three thousand steps left to do. We could jiggle in front of Sunday night’s Antique’s Roadshow? Or a Bryan Adams playlist?’
‘How could anyone resist such an invite?’ Lola widened her eyes comically.
‘You want to me to go mess about in my office?’ Malik pointed at the closed door.
‘That would be amazing.’
He kissed Lola on the lips, then sauntered off whistling ‘Heaven’, leaving Jess and Lola alone.
‘However you want to deal with it,’ Lola said. ‘I’m here, OK? I get the feeling Ash is going to be a mountain to get over, not a molehill.’
‘I’ll be fine,’ Jess said quietly. Why did people keep pointing that out? She was right in the middle of finding out how hard he was to forget.
Lola wafted a cushion at her, but didn’t hit her because she was holding a full mug. ‘I know you’re acting like you didn’t really care, but I know you did.’
Jess stared at the milky surface of her tea, then squeezed her eyes closed. ‘I did care,’ she admitted. ‘I still do. But everything he said was true. It’s for the best.’
‘Whose best, though?’
‘Best for both of us.’ Except that, the more time that had passed since their discussion on the bench, the less it made sense. They both understood what they’d done to cause the fractures in their relationship, so didn’t that mean they could have a go at fixing them?
‘I don’t get it,’ Lola said.
‘Can you help me with something else?’ Jess asked, because she didn’t want to go round in circles.
‘Anything.’
‘You know the thing with Edie and Graeme?’
‘Your mum and dad?’
‘Yes. The thing that I overheard?’
‘Your mum lamenting the fact that you weren’t close to them? That you had chosen to be by yourself almost from the moment they adopted you?’
Jess sighed. It had never made sense to her, that her mum would say that to a neighbour. It had seemed much more likely that she was telling Celine she didn’t have those strong emotional ties to Jess. It had fed into what she’d always told herself.
‘I know you think that everyone’s just waiting to get rid of you—’
‘Ash Faulkner is a case in point.’
‘Don’t be flippant. I think he was wrong, and I think you were, too, for not fighting for him. But that isn’t what we’re talking about – though I think it would help if you hadn’t decided you weren’t worth anything.’
‘I know you don’t want to get rid of me.’
Lola rolled her eyes. ‘You’re worth a lot, Jess. But you should be worth something to yourself, first, and I don’t think you believe you are, which is why you so readily interpreted what you heard the way you did. Have you ever spoken to Edie and Graeme about how you feel?’
‘No.’
‘Talk to them. Just one time, try and be honest with them. Let them in, even if it’s just a smidgen.’ She held her thumb and index finger up, a small space between them.
‘I suppose.’
‘Put a bit more welly in it.’
‘I could talk to them,’ she said firmly.
‘But are you going to? There’s a whole lot of distance between couldand will.’
‘Right. I will talk to them. I 100 per cent promise.’
There was a pause, then Lola shrieked.
Jess put a hand to her chest. ‘What the fuck?’
‘You’re actually listening to me about this, after all this time?’
‘Maybe,’ Jess said. Maybe everything that had happened with Ash was finally waking her up to what was important, and the risks you had to take to get it.
‘You won’t regret it, I promise.’ Lola pulled her into a hug.
Jess accepted it, rolling her eyes over her friend’s shoulder. But she was comforted by Lola’s kindness. Between this, her sadness over Ash, and getting her to devote her self-promotion plan to helping Enzo, Jess wouldn’t have been surprised if Lola had had enough of her, but there wasn’t any suggestion that that was the case. And she had asked for her advice, so it would be stupid to ignore it. She thought of all the times Edieand Graeme – her mum and dad – had tried to get closer to her, andshe’d held them coolly at arm’s length. They had never given up on her, which had to mean something.
‘Tell me your plans for world domination,’ Jess said. ‘Any record company offers for the Misfits? Any live performances planned beyond Felicity’s house sale?’
‘Don’t you mean Felicity’s party? There’s going to be a band, food, themed areas. I wouldn’t be surprised if Roger brought some illegal hooch along, to give out under the table.’ Lola grinned, and Jess burst out laughing.
‘The thought of Roger doing anything slightly frowned upon, let alone actually illegal, is too twisted, Lols.’
‘I know. Spade did say something the other day about a real proper gig, man.’ She affected the rocker’s accent for a couple of beats. ‘But you know how enthusiastic he gets. It might mean he’s found us a good busking spot in front of the Cutty Sark.’
‘He’s got all the contacts,’ Jess pointed out. ‘It might actually be something.’
‘It might. I’m happy, though.’
‘You are?’
Lola nodded. ‘I wanted a proper direction for my music: I wanted to get out in the open with it, get some feedback, and the exhilaration of playing with Spade and Braden – being this weird-ass little trio that gets people watching and clapping along, thousands of views online – it’s really satisfying. Anything else will just be a cherry on top. And none of this would have happened without you.’
‘No, I—’
‘You introduced me to everyone. You let me invade the market, and I know it was uncomfortable for you at the beginning, but you always backed me up. You’re the very best friend anyone could hope for.’
Jess swallowed. It was unlike Lola to be so sincere, and she wasn’t sure her fragile emotions could take it. ‘Well.’ She cleared her throat. ‘Right back at you, OK? You’ve put up with so much from me over the last few months – the last decade. I don’t know what I’d do without you.’
‘Good,’ Lola said. ‘That means you’re never getting rid of me. Want to put Bryan Adams on and see how long it takes for Malik to notice? We’ll start with “Heat of the Night”, which is his siren song.’
Jess laughed and settled back into the cushions, clutching her mug of tea while Lola got her iPad. For the first time since Tuesday, she felt something close to content, Ash fading temporarily from her thoughts. She’d spend enough time thinking about him when she got home, and, since he was the one who’d walked away, it wasn’t fair of him to monopolise her whole evening.