Chapter Twenty-Four
Riley
“You’re pathetic.” The gruff voice scoffed from the armchair nestled in the corner. Riley didn’t need to look at her dad to know he’d been drinking. She could hear the slur to his words, smell the open bottle of whisky that no doubt rested on the side table next to him.
She’d closed the bathroom door as quietly as she could before sneaking into the dark hallway, but he must’ve heard her crying. She hated that. She lingered for a moment, unsure whether the statement was directed at her or one of his horse bets gone wrong.
“Thought ye were leavin’, so why’re ye still here?”
But of course his scorn was directed at her. She’d be stupid to ever think otherwise.
She’d only been home for a week—not home , but Ireland, anyway. Since she’d packed up and moved out of Elodie’s place, she’d been in such a state, she’d actually thought things might have been different. But things never changed here. Her dad never changed.
She inhaled a shaky breath, squeezed and relaxed her fists, then stepped into the doorway. “I am leavin’, Da.”
He scoffed again from the corner, the chair creaking with his weight as he emptied his glass and refilled it from the bottle on the table. The TV lit his face as it flickered whatever rubbish they played at two in the morning. A mix of black-and-white reruns, teleshopping, and gambling, no doubt. His grey hair was thinner than she was used to, but the sneering lip and the red, bulbous nose were the same as her memories.
He shook his head, eyes dazed and sluggish as they took in her small form. “Sure, but ye still standin’ there.”
“I’m leavin’ in the morning.”
“It’s the mornin’ now.” His voice hardened, his body stilling as his fingers tightened around the glass.
Riley tensed, adrenaline licking up her spine and shaking her tiredness away. She knew that voice; things could get ugly. She sniffed and took a step back, her heart beating loudly against the quiet mumble of the TV. Quick steps led her back down the hallway and into her bedroom. The books she’d left here, along with her favourite poster of Keira Knightley, were long gone. The pile of unopened mail, dirty laundry, and random crap resembled more of a dumping ground for her dad’s unwanted things than her childhood room—which was fitting, she supposed. Her dad had never wanted her, either.
She scooped up her damp clothes, which were drying on the radiator, and stuffed them into her suitcase, fighting the tears forming. What was I thinking, coming here? One ear listened for movement down the hallway, but her thumping heart made that difficult.
Finally, with another quick glance over the jumbled mess and a double-check of her pockets for her Irish documents, she was ready. Well, that was a lie. She wasn’t ready to leave the only slither of normality she had left, now that her girlfriend and future had burst into flames—but what choice did she have?
Sucking in a shaky breath, she triple-checked her pocket. At least now she had her passport and Irish savings, she could go anywhere. But the prospect was much less exciting when standing completely alone.
A smash of glass snapped her spine straight, the grumbling groan down the hallway rolling through her bones like thunder.
Mum had left. Elodie had left. But Riley was determined to build something from the ashes. She couldn’t be like her dad.
Another crash from the living room swivelled her head. She had to go. Shrugging on her coat and pulling her beanie over her hair, she tugged her suitcase down the hallway, wheels clunking on the uneven carpet.
“Leavin’, are ye?” Her dad’s looming form stumbled into the hallway, swallowing her in a tall shadow. “Just like ye bleedin’ mother.”
Her pulse quickened, and she swallowed the bile rising in her throat. “I’d rather be like her than like you, you feckin’ waste of space.” The scowl on her dad’s face deepened, but the words felt too good to stop. “You couldn’t control her, and you can’t control me. You’re just a lonely, bitter old man, and I hope you spend the rest of your days in that battered armchair, wondering where your life went wrong. You’re no father to me.”
He lunged for her, his drunken feet tripping over the peeling carpet, and crashed against the wall with a groan.
Riley shook her head, pity and shame curling into a ball in her gut. “Goodbye, Michael.” And she shut the door behind her, heading out into the cold, knowing she’d never see her dad again.
The memory rearranged itself before her eyelids, melting away into the present space of her cabin. This was the first place that was ever hers. She’d never had so much freedom or control over her life. She’d found herself here.
Doubt tiptoed into her mind. Would she lose that, leaving the island with Ella ?
The woman beside her stirred, nuzzling into her shoulder. Warmth spread into her chest, curling and squeezing around her heart. As much as the island had shown her parts of herself, Ella had too. Parts of herself she’d thought were dead or lost to the world.
In the same way she’d known she had to leave her childhood home four years ago, she knew she couldn’t let Ella go. What they had was special, mind-bending, soul-affirming. A searing, possessive, heated connection that she’d never even thought possible. For the first time in a long time, Riley could think about the future.
That told her everything she needed to know.
She ran her hand over Ella’s sleeping form, and she groaned, batting her away.
“What time is it?” she mumbled, looping her leg over Riley.
Riley planted a kiss on her forehead, breathing in her scent. “It’s still early.” But Riley knew…it was time to talk to Senhor Arenoso.
* * *
Leaving Ella dozing with Ziggy curled up between her legs, Riley snuck out into the morning air. They’d had such a wonderful night celebrating with the others on the course and with Ella’s friend Winnie—who might have also had a rendezvous in the old barn, judging by her reappearance with straw tangled in her hair and her glasses steamed up. Riley didn’t want to dampen Ella’s spirits. She’d go, speak to Danilo, and then come back ready to move on.
The sun’s orange glow hung in the sky, coating her skin like fresh paint. She filled her lungs and started down the steps, her gaze finding the sea waves as they crashed against the cliffs. She walked the path she’d walked a thousand times before, brushing her fingers through the green leaves and kicking up the dusty stones underfoot. A peaceful quiet had descended over the island this morning. The courtyard still stood decorated with garlands, the firepit still covered in ashes. People celebrated hard every time the end of the course rolled around; the locals looked forward to it every month, and it had become a healing ritual of their own.
Riley would miss it here, there was no denying that, but like the ceremonial fire last night, she had to let go to make way for the new.
Nerves bubbled in her belly as Senhor Arenoso’s hut came into view. It’d been a place of refuge for her over the years, but now, every step closer made the heavy stone in her stomach sink lower and lower. Was she really doing this?
She grasped the obsidian necklace Danilo had gifted her between her fingers, hoping to channel some of the healing energies. The smooth rock grounded her a little, and she forced her feet to move.
He was sitting cross-legged on his cushion like he normally was, a deep green kaftan covering his dark skin. He tilted his head as she approached, his ears pricking at her movement.
“Riley,” he hummed. “I thought I might see you this morning.”
She resisted the urge to laugh. The man had a sixth sense for this kind of thing.
“ Bom dia , Danilo.” She hovered in the open doorway, the sea breeze tickling her face. She tried to force her gaze to meet his, but she couldn’t shift her focus from the large fern in the corner. “Great ceremony last night. You outdid yourself.”
He smiled, then with a sigh, brushed himself off and stood, finally turning to her. “You’re too kind. Now, come on. Sit. Tea?”
She sank into the faux-leather chair in the corner while Danilo boiled the kettle. She wiped her hands on her shorts, but they still felt clammy. What did she usually do with her hands? Did they just…hang there? She suddenly felt like a teenager sitting in the headmaster’s office, waiting for a scolding.
The early birdsong mingled with the hum of the kettle. Riley watched Danilo glide around the space, browsing his drawer stocked full of incense and pulling out a stick of bergamot. For releasing stress and anxiety. Why does this man know everything?
The citrus scent filled the room, and he handed her a steaming cup of green tea. She thanked him, and he took the seat next to her, turning to look out the window and the rolling sea below .
“So,” he began, keeping his focus outside. “What’s got you all nervous this morning?”
This time, the panicky laugh passed her lips. She shook her head, attempting to sip from her mug, but it was still far too hot. “I can’t hide anything from you, can I?”
His moustache twitched. “You can talk to me, Riley. Unload a little.”
The memory of her dad ghosted around her. His ability to wilt her with his sneering lip and steely glare. She forced herself to meet Danilo’s dark gaze, soft and patient and full of concern, and she had to look away, unable to stand it. She didn’t deserve his understanding after letting him down the way she had.
She swallowed the lump rising in her throat. Leaving her dad had been easy, upon reflection. The title was meaningless and empty, their relationship dead and buried as soon as her mother had walked out the door when she was small. Disappointing Senhor Arenoso, the man who’d helped Riley find her feet when she didn’t have anything, that was going to cripple her.
“Is it the anniversary?” he asked.
Her lip wobbled, tears filling her eyes. She looked to the sea again and imagined the waves parting as she slipped through, washing away her worries and fears. The water would glide over her back, propelling her forward, building and building until she could leap up into the sky, just like a dolphin.
She exhaled, forcing herself to meet Danilo’s eyes again .
He eyed her knowingly. “It’s about her, isn’t it?”
She caught a falling tear with the back of her hand, but more spilt down her cheeks, the floodgates officially open. “I’m so sorry, Danilo. I’m very grateful for everything you’ve done for me, and I love my job. The last thing I wanted to do was let you down or disappoint you and—”
He held up a hand, an assortment of gold ringers on his fingers. “You could never disappoint me, Riley.”
She shook her head, tears blurring her vision. “I’ve broken your trust. I knew I shouldn’t have relations with a client, but this isn’t just a fling. I hope you know I wouldn’t throw all this away for something temporary. I…I…” The words caught in her throat. “I had no idea I could feel this way again. She’s everything, Danilo. Everything.” She shook her head, but her mouth couldn’t stop moving. Her chest heaved as more words poured out of her. “That’s why I have to resign. Don’t worry. I’ll leave. I wouldn’t want anything bad to come from my actions, and I’m sorry. I’m sorry to let you down, but—”
A cool hand covered hers, and she realised she was shaking. “Breathe with me, Riley. It’s okay. You’re safe here.”
Senhor Arenoso’s words grounded her, and she closed her eyes while he counted the beats. When her chest lost its tightness, she dared look at him again.
“Hear me when I say this, Riley. You haven’t let me down.”
She opened her mouth to protest, but he silenced her with a stern glare.
“I’d only be disappointed if you didn’t follow your heart. It would go against everything we teach here. Life works in these mysterious ways… The guides, the energies, they’re always working to try and help us on our path. If you deny that, when you know it to be true in your bones? Well, that would mean that I would have let you down. All these years would’ve been a waste.”
Riley’s eyebrows furrowed as she tried to make sense of his words. “But…I don’t understand. António and the triplets… The scandal. It wrecked you. I remember it.”
“António couldn’t keep his snake in the cage. That is completely different.” He touched his hand to his chest. “I know you feel with this. And with everything you’ve been through, I’m relieved that it can still experience these things so deeply.” A warm smile spread across his face. “I might be an old man now, but I still know love when I see it. You’ve been different these last few weeks. It’s wonderful to see you happy.”
He tapped her hand and then moved away to drink from his mug, as though the things he’d just said were completely everyday and not a healing medicine to Riley’s soul. She followed suit, savouring the warm tea as it slid down her throat.
He set his mug down. “If you still want to leave the island, that is your decision. You know I would never stand in the way of your path, wherever that leads.” A sparkle returned to his eyes. “However, I may have another proposition for you.”
Riley’s stomach clenched, her grip tightening on the mug. “What is it?”
“I’ve been running the course for twenty years now. You’re not the only one who can feel change pulling at their windsails.”
Riley’s spine shot straight. “No, Danilo! You can’t leave.”
He chuckled, the sound reverberating in his throat. “I’m not leaving. Sandy Springs is my beating heart. I’ll just take a step back and enjoy some more of the quiet.”
Relief flooded her for a moment. But his steady gaze refused to give anything away. “What are you saying?” she asked.
“You know the island inside out, love her like I do. There’s no one I would trust more to lead the course, inject some fresh life into it.”
“You…you want me to be the manager?” She could hardly string the sentence together.
“If that’s the way you want to phrase it.” He grinned. “Yes.”
She rubbed her hands over her face. Danilo trusted her? Wanted her to run things? What? She’d just come to terms with her time at Sandy Springs coming to an end. This news sent everything back into a spin. Maybe the fumes from the fire had propelled her into a long, deep sleep? Or did Romeo pick the wrong type of berries for the punch again?
“Should I take your extended silence as an acceptance or a refusal?” he teased.
“No. No. This is great. Amazing. I just…What about Ella?”
Riley couldn’t do this without her. More than that, she didn’t want to. She didn’t want a future without Ella.
He eyed her and arched an eyebrow. “I’m sure someone as outgoing as Ella wouldn’t have any trouble finding a suitable role here on the course.”
Riley’s jaw almost fell off its hinges. “You mean you’re okay with this?”
“All I’ve ever wanted for you is to find your happiness again. To break the cycle that chains you to the past.” He nodded, his hand tapping hers. “She has a big heart.”
“She does.” She smiled, thinking about the way she’d left her. Curled up in Riley’s sheets with Ziggy between her legs. Could that be her new normal? For her place to become their place? She finished her drink and stood, feeling a little uneasy on her feet. “I need to speak to Ella first. But wow. Thank you, Danilo. For believing in me. For understanding.”
“It’s my pleasure.” He collected their mugs and set them in the sink before joining her by the door. He placed a hand on her shoulder, those gentle eyes studying hers.
Without overthinking it, Riley wrapped her arms around him. His scent mingled with the citrus smell of the bergamot, and she breathed out a sigh of relief when he hugged her back. Tears welled in her eyes again, but this time for a different reason .
She was accepted; she was loved.
When they parted, Riley caught the glimmer of emotion shining in his eyes, too. Before she started bawling completely, she said goodbye and stepped out into the sunshine. Now, she needed to talk to Ella.
Riley had never even given it half a thought. The two of them staying on the island had been such an impossibility. Would Ella feel the same? Would she leave England behind for good?
And what if the answer was no? What then?