The Heir's Bargain (Of Fire and Lies)

Chapter 34

Goodbyes were a foreign language,one I had never been taught despite my years of studying the ancient language of the gods.

I had attempted to see Dani the day her ship set sail—I truly had. I even made it as far as having Telis and Lance take the carriage to the pier. But when I saw her standing on the dock, the ocean breeze kissing her cheek, I couldn”t get myself to leave the safety of the carriage.

Nothing I said would have stopped her from leaving. And as I watched her wrap her arms around Terin and Graeson, I realized I didn”t want to stop her. I didn”t want to be the reason Dani held any part of who she was back.

She could handle herself. She always had.

She didn”t need me protecting her.

Nor did she need me stumbling over my words as I prepared for her to set sail.

So, the ship set sail, and I remained inside the carriage. As Terin and Graeson waved from the edge of the dock, I ordered Telis to take us to the cottage north of the Whispering Springs.

Because if I was anything, I was a coward and an idiot.

Once alone at the cottage with only two of my guards to entertain me, I wallowed.

I drowned myself in my self-pity, in my ability to fuck everything up—in my ability to take something so sweet and destroy it because of my pig-headed brain.

It seemed Dani had been right all those months ago—the heir”s crown had only made my head bigger.

And I was the one who paid the price for it.

On the eighth day, I stared at the wooden beams spanning the ceiling. On the tiled floor, the decanter lay empty on its side, and my book was just beyond my reach. I couldn”t remember the last time I had moved. For days, I had been listlessly lying about, my hair unkempt, my clothes haggard.

At some point, the door creaked open, but I couldn’t get myself to look.

With a groan, I tossed my hand in the air. ”No, Lance. I do not wish to go outside today either.”

Lance snorted. While I should have cared about his disrespect and apparent inability to listen to my wishes, I didn”t.

Then, my head hit oak as the pillow was snatched from beneath me.

”Lance!” I shouted, my eyes squeezing shut as a sharp pain spiked through my skull.

”Fynn.”

Shit.

I groaned. Even my mind seemed to be betraying me, for I hadn”t even heard Terin’s approach or noticed his thoughts swirling at the edge of my mind.

”Brother,” I spat, ”Now that was just rude.”

”Get up,” Terin commanded.

I rolled my eyes, turning away from him. ”I am the heir, remember? You do not command me.”

”Are you? Because, based on the man I am looking at right now, I would never have guessed.”

”Piss off, Ter,” I grumbled, stuffing another pillow from the couch behind my head.

He snatched that pillow, too. ”You are pathetic.”

”Add it to the list. Perhaps next to disappointment and coward.”

Terin released a heavy sigh. Footsteps padded across the floor before the couch sunk slightly near my feet. ”You”ve been here for over a week, Fynn.”

”If this is about some princely duty, the council can handle it without me. None of them wish for me to be in that seat, anyway.”

”Is that what this is about?” Terin asked, slapping my leg. ”And here I thought it was because of you and Dani.”

I kicked him. ”I said piss off.”

”Mother is worried. We are all worried.”

”Go worry somewhere else then,” I said, pressing the heels of my palms against my eye sockets, willing the burning to disappear. At least when Lance or Telis had bothered me, they buggered off when I commanded.

Terin hummed, but he did not move.

Groaning, I asked, ”If you will not leave, then out with it already.”

The silence that followed was a heavy weight upon my head. For a moment, I did not think Terin would give me a response, but then he finally did.

”I didn”t think you would be this upset. You”ve never been this distraught over someone you have courted before. What makes this different from any of those courtships?”

I bit down on my tongue. However, the searing pain did little to distract from the ache in my chest.

”Dani,” I said at last.

”What about her?”

”She is the difference.”

”Why?” Terin asked. ”I thought this was fake.”

My eyes sprung open, and my limbs grew cold.

Terin wasn”t supposed to know. No one was. If Terin knew?—

”What did you just say?”

”Oh, calm down.” Terin shoved my legs off the couch. ”No one else knows.”

”But how—why—” My tongue twisted in my mouth as I struggled to sit up.

Terin scoffed, scratching his head. ”You and Dani are quite loud when you argue.”

My brows twisted.

Terin continued, ”The day she interrupted our training? Before I even got out of earshot, Dani had said something about the importance of making your courtship believable to the generals.” He shrugged a shoulder and added, ”Plus, you are not as good at keeping secrets when you are asleep as you are awake.”

”You snuck into my dreams?” I asked, fear lacing my tongue.

”Is that really what you are concerned about right now?” Terin asked, quirking a brow.

”Yes! No—” I shook my head, digging my fingers into my knotted hair. ”Are you telling me that you have known this entire time?”

Terin nodded.

My hands fell limp on my lap. ”Why didn”t you say anything?”

”Why didn”t you?” Terin asked.

I chewed on the inside of my cheek as my brother stared at me, sadness spilling from his countenance.

My gaze fell to the floor, my arms leaning atop my knees. ”I promised her I wouldn”t say anything,” I mumbled.

”It wasn”t fake, was it?” Terin asked.

As I returned my attention to my brother, I caught my reflection in the window behind him. My eyes were bloodshot, my complexion ashen.

I swallowed the lump, tearing my gaze from my ragged reflection. ”I”m not sure if it ever was truly fake, Ter.”