Chapter Twelve
S omerville paced across the study in a worried state. Sara hadn’t returned with her friends as planned. Instead, she’d had a footman walk Mairi into the townhome before she left in the carriage to an unknown destination. Her friends had no clue where she might’ve gone to gather her thoughts. Now the hour grew late, and Sara still hadn’t returned. He didn’t know where to search for his wife. He hoped Sara remained with his men to protect her.
He stopped to stare at her friends. “Was she upset enough to leave?”
“London?” Grace asked.
Somerville nodded.
Vivian rose and placed her hand on Somerville’s sleeve. “No. She would never leave you and Mairi. She only needs time to herself to process what she believes to be our betrayal.”
“There is no belief, ‘tis the truth,” Flora mumbled.
Vivian frowned at Flora to stay silent. “She is confused.”
“No, she is not,” Flora argued. “She is upset that we have left her in the dark by the secrets her husband keeps.”
Hepburn squeezed Flora’s shoulder. “Easy, lass. The duke had his reasons for not sharing the truth with Sara.”
“And what reasons were those, Somerville?” Lockhart demanded. “Because of your secrecy, you have placed our wives in the middle of your marital issues.”
The room grew quiet, with everyone attempting to accept the part they played in keeping secrets from Sara. ‘Twas no use blaming one another when the only importance was finding Sara. Her disappearance was unlike Sara to cause anyone to worry about her.
“Did you become familiar with Sara’s activities when you lived with her after we lost our positions?” Vivian asked Flora.
Flora frowned. “Sara and I shared no lodgings together.”
Vivian’s eyebrows drew together. “I thought you had. You two always arrived and left the park together.”
“Only because we arrived at the same time. I assumed she stayed with a family member or friend once Baldridge dismissed her,” Flora explained.
“Sara has no other friends than us. And her only family had been her grandmother,” Grace stated.
“Perhaps if we knew where she lived, we might know where to search,” Courtland mused.
The ladies stared at one another, unsure where Sara might be. Caught up in their troubles, they had neglected to learn more about their friend. They did not differ from Somerville by protecting Sara instead of helping to guide her through the difficulties of life. They had failed her. Instead of refusing to reveal Somerville’s secrets, they should’ve helped her understand their stance and encouraged her to speak with Somerville. They were as much at fault as Somerville in causing her disappearance.
“Your Grace.” The butler stood inside the entryway.
“Yes, Simmons?”
“The duchess has returned.”
Somerville stepped forward. “Please inform her I wait in the study with her friends.”
“I have already done so. She offers her apologies, but she has retired to her bedchamber for the day. Also, a message has arrived for you.” Simmons handed the letter to Somerville.
“That will be all, Simmons.”
The butler left, and Somerville tore open the letter without seeing who sent it. Anything to escape the awkwardness of Sara’s dismissal toward him and her friends. He’d placed her friends in a difficult position by sharing his findings with their husbands and caused a rift between them and Sara. He needed to follow their leads and share his information with his wife. If he’d been honest since they spoke their vows, then they wouldn’t be suffering through this discord. Ian needed to explain to Sara what he'd discovered about her past and encourage her to forgive her friends. He must face her disappointment and seek her forgiveness.
Somerville,
Your wife is such an exquisite creature. I had the pleasure of enjoying another conversation with her this afternoon.
Tsk, tsk for not watching your wife more carefully.
Perhaps she is best left under my care.
Until next time ...
Somerville snarled. “That bastard has met with Sara.”
Grace gasped. “How? Where?”
Courtland peeled the parchment from Somerville’s hold. He read the letter and then passed it to the other gentlemen. “He has escalated his threat by presenting himself to Sara.”
“More than once, it seems,” Lockhart commented.
“He implies he has spoken to her before today. Do you know when?” Vivian inquired.
“No. She has either been in my company or Lady Whetham’s since we married. It must be recent or else he would have taunted me before now.”
“Did she leave your side at the ball?” Flora asked.
“Only to use the retiring room. She was not gone too long before you arrived,” Somerville explained.
Vivian frowned. “Sara uses that excuse to escape from the festivities. The aristocracy causes her unease, and she would suffer now more than ever. She probably escaped to the library for a spell. Did she mention meeting anyone new?”
Somerville shook his head. “No.”
Lennox showed his wife the letter. “Have you learned who the initials stand for?”
Somerville dragged his hand through his hair. “No. My investigators have had no luck either.”
“You need to confess to Sara about what you have learned. Since the clues involve her, she might remember something that could help solve who is behind the threats,” Vivian suggested.
Lockhart stood and held out his hand to help Grace rise. “Until you do, then we are unable to help. Speak with Sara, Somerville. You are no longer a duke and she your governess. She is your wife, and therefore, you need to treat her as such.”
The couples exited the study, leaving Somerville alone with his thoughts. If any other gentleman had spoken to him with such authority, he would’ve dismissed him from his home. However, he had developed a friendship with Lockhart, Courtland, and Hepburn, as well as their wives. Lockhart had spoken out of respect for their friendship.
He should follow their advice and talk with Sara now. However, he was too much of a coward to see disappointment clouding her gaze. He wouldn’t lie to himself not to admit that her admiration of him had inflated his ego to where he only wanted to be her knight in shining armor. To protect her from all harm. Instead, he had failed her faith in him with his deception. And in doing so, he had placed her in the villain’s path.
Somerville strode from the study to search for Simmons. He needed to ask the carriage driver and footmen where they took his wife. Also, it was pertinent he learned who she’d come into contact with. Once he learned this information, he would share his secrets with Sara. Hopefully, once he confessed the truth, she would understand and forgive him.
IT WAS DISCOURTEOUS for Sara not to greet her friends and their husbands. To play the gracious duchess to Somerville’s astute duke. However, exhaustion had taken hold from pretending her life was perfect, when it was anything but. Her emotions had taken their toll for the day. She only wanted a hot bath to relax and an evening spent on the chaise reading one of her favorite books. She wished to escape from the real world into a story of fantasy. Tomorrow she would deal with Ian’s deception and her friends’ betrayal.
Sara had placed her request with the butler and then checked with the maid caring for Mairi. When she entered the bedchamber, she noticed the tub filled and a tray left by the servants. She only hoped Ian would keep his distance while she gathered her thoughts. While a visit to the Hardys’ bookshop had helped, she still hadn’t forgiven everyone for their deceit. More than a few simple apologies would allow her to trust Ian and her friends again.
Sara nibbled on a sandwich as she dipped her fingers into the water to test the temperature. Since it was too hot, she ate and drank the tea. After she finished, she toed off her shoes and undressed. She twisted her hair into a bun before sliding into the water with a sigh. She laid her head back, closing her eyes. The warm water wrapped her in a cocoon of comfort.
Why must life be so difficult?
She must have fallen asleep for a spell. Her lids rose from her lazy slumber to see her husband standing above her with a look of desperation and regret. He had stripped himself bare except for his trousers. Ian knelt on the floor and wrapped his hand around her neck, bringing her to him for a kiss.
The kiss was gentle, begging for forgiveness. With every nip, his kiss grew more desperate for her to respond. His tongue stroked her lips apart and slid inside to tangle with hers in a dance of slow seduction. Sara was powerless to resist the attraction between them. She succumbed to his kisses, winding her arms around his neck. She should demand for Ian to release her, but to do so would deny herself the pleasure she desperately needed to feel loved. Their lovemaking spoke what they both were too scared to admit.
Ian rose and lifted Sara from the tub without breaking their kiss. He laid her on the bed with a tenderness that brought tears to her eyes. He discarded his trousers and slid next to her, bringing her into his embrace as if there were no troubles between them. Only a husband wanting to love his wife. The silence between them would be a divide, but it was one they ignored to explore the pleasures of the flesh. Their attraction was no longer an issue now that they were husband and wife. However, it was a hindrance when they used it to lure them away from their troubles.
But one Sara was incapable of denying.
He was a selfish bastard for kissing Sara instead of seeking her forgiveness. Her vulnerability was a temptation he couldn’t resist. His desperation for her to return his kiss led him to dominate her senses by staking his claim. Making love to her wouldn’t solve their problems, but his frantic need for Sara’s offer of forgiveness pushed him to seduce her.
He trailed a path of kisses down her neck, along her shoulder, down to her breasts, kissing away each drop of water from her body. He licked at her nipple before drawing the bud between his lips and softly sucking, savoring her sweetness. Soon her fingers sank into his hair, guiding him to her other breast. Repeating his actions brought forth a sigh of pleasure from Sara.
His lips followed the path of his hands, caressing every inch of Sara’s curves. Her petite frame held many dips and valleys for him to worship. Her thighs parted for him at his silent command when he teased her clit with his thumb. He avoided her every attempt to touch him. Ian feared Sara would demand for him to cease his lovemaking. He needed to show her how much she meant to him. He couldn’t lose her too.
Sara had sunk deeper under Ian’s spell not to pull away from him. He set a fiery path across her body with each kiss he caressed upon her. She ached with a need to feel loved, and Ian soothed her heartache with each kiss that reached her soul. At his soft touch against her core, she parted her thighs, needing him to close the divide between them with his kiss.
If she thought his lovemaking would be tender to plead for her forgiveness, then she was mistaken. Their passion grew uncontrollable when he slid two fingers inside her pussy while he devoured her wetness with each wicked lick. He ravished her like a man starved for salvation. His unrelenting attention left her at his mercy.
With each stroke of his fingers, her need built, begging for release. She fought to call out his name and beg him to soothe the fire consuming her soul. But her heartache kept her silent. Instead, she rotated her hips to match the rhythm of his fingers, pressing her core to his face with her own demands to reach the heights of pleasure she ached for. Waves of bliss washed over her at once, catching her unaware.
Sara shook beneath him from her release. He should relent with his determination, but desire ruled his actions. The feelings he held for Sara left him wandering in unchartered territory. He felt her heartache deep in his soul. Instead of wrapping her in his arms and confessing his secrets, he continued his onslaught of seduction. He rose above her and slid his cock inside her with a slowness that had him holding his breath until her warmth surrounded him as he settled deep inside her.
When Ian entwined his fingers with Sara’s, her eyes fluttered open to stare deeply into his. The heartache gazing back at him seared his soul with an agony too indescribable to understand. He bent his head to kiss away the single tear that slid down her cheek. Her reaction should’ve been warning enough for him to confess his love, but he held back from making amends. He had no excuses for his behavior. Instead, he captured her lips in a soul-searing kiss while he made love to her with tender care, expressing his love with each slow stroke in and out of her body.
Sara closed her eyes, unable to bear the agony of staring into Ian’s eyes. His depths held a tortuous storm of emotions that left her unsure of what he held in his heart. She couldn’t deny the passion or the protective nature of his tender touch. However, his other feelings were too difficult to decipher without understanding her own tortured emotions. Instead, she lost herself in the hunger consuming them, with each joining of their bodies as one. His fingers tightened against hers as if he pleaded with her to open her heart to him.
However, the events of the day had left Sara too vulnerable to open her heart to Ian. She didn’t deny she loved him, but she couldn’t say the words until she understood the reason for his actions. Since she met him, his behavior had been one contradiction after another. Would he ever open his heart to her? Or would their attraction fade away?
Ian sensed that Sara waged a battle with her reaction to him. However, her body couldn’t deny the bond between them. They glided in a slow dance of seduction with each whispered sigh of satisfaction. She arched against him as her pussy tightened around his cock. Ian could no longer deny them the release their desires demanded. He slid out slowly, only to thrust back inside as deep as he could to reach Sara’s soul, and their bodies exploded with the passion neither of them could deny.
Ian gathered Sara into his arms and held her close to his heart, never wanting to let go of her. He held no clue how to proceed. How did he explain to his wife that his deception was rooted in how she shook his very foundation? That his love for her made him want to be the husband of her dreams? Was he capable of such a feat?
As much as Sara wanted Ian to speak about the secrets between them, she didn’t want to spoil the haze surrounding them from their lovemaking. So she stayed silent, hoping Ian would too. Her eyes drifted closed as she relished his soft caress through her tangle of hair. His soothing gesture soon relaxed her enough for her to drift off to sleep.
Tomorrow was soon enough to share their secrets.
IAN FOLLOWED THE SOUND of his wife’s and daughter’s laughter to the nursery. Sara had risen before him, leaving him to awake alone in their bed. Before he fell asleep, he’d thought to wake before her and deliver breakfast to their suite for them to share an intimate conversation. As he held Sara while she slept in his arms, he’d realized what a fool he had been by never revealing how much he loved her.
In his effort to protect his heart from never getting hurt again, he had caused Sara a heartache he had never wanted her to experience. Life was unpredictable and out of one’s control. Her disappearance yesterday made him aware of how precious his love for her was and how he needed to express the depth of his emotions for her, along with the secrets he kept from her. By keeping his secrets, he left her vulnerable to the bastard terrorizing them and had caused a disagreement between her friends.
Ian leaned against the doorjamb, watching Sara and Mairi, who were oblivious to his arrival. Sara sat across from Mairi in her robe, eating a breakfast of scones and jam. Her hair lay in tousled disarray around her shoulders, making her far lovelier than the hairstyles her maid insisted on when she accompanied Marian on their outings. Her bare feet peeked out beneath her robe, causing Ian to realize he much preferred this version of Sara to the one she must present as his duchess. He couldn’t wait for their return to Scotland, where he planned to surprise Sara and Mairi with a visit to his estate in the Highlands. There, they could be themselves, not what they must present to society.
He smiled as Sara licked off a spot of jam from the curve of her thumb. She tapped Mairi on her nose as his daughter giggled at their mess. His daughter’s happiness was music to his ears. Each day, her sadness faded away with the joy of Sara in her life.
“I do not know who wears more jam, you or the table,” Ian teased.
“Silly Poppa. The table cannot wear jam.”
Ian knelt to his daughter’s level and kissed her forehead. “Silly me. Now that I have gotten a closer look, I can see my mistake. It is most definitely you who wears the jam. I thought you were to eat the jam on your scones?”
Mairi giggled. “Momma and I think the jam tastes more delicious all by itself.”
Ian’s gaze slid to Sara, who bent her head to avoid him. “Does she now?”
Ian’s soft murmur caused Sara’s heart to race. She had slipped away from their bedchamber to escape their conversation. She had been unable to resist him the evening before when he kissed her with such tenderness in the bathtub. Nor when he loved her with a gentleness that caused her heart to weep with the uncertainty of their marriage. She was a coward to face their troubles, afraid Ian wouldn’t respond to her questions with the truth.
“Try it, Poppa,” Mairi insisted.
“I think I will.” He slid into the chair next to Sara, pressing close to her.
Sara inwardly groaned at the proximity of their chairs. The furniture in the nursery was designed for children, not adults. His thigh pressed against the thin material of her robe, searing her with his warmth. If she dared to move away from him, he would see the effect he held over her with his innocent presence. Her hand fluttered against her robe to close the gaping opening.
Ian fought to hide his smile of satisfaction at seeing Sara flustered by his presence. Since she didn’t leave him to be alone with his daughter, she must be open to airing the rift between them. He wasn’t foolish enough to believe their lovemaking had solved their problems. However, her reaction to his closeness showed he had a chance at earning her forgiveness, which he planned to achieve as soon as he finished spending time with his daughter and Sara together as a family.
He dipped a spoon into the jam and brought it to his lips to enjoy the sweet treat, when Sara shook her head in disapproval. He frowned, lowering the spoon.
“No, Poppa! That is not the way.” Mairi shook her head, her curls bouncing around.
“How else am I to try it?”
“Like this.” Mairi dipped her finger into the jam and licked it off.
Ian tilted his head in question at Sara. She rewarded him with an impish smile and then surprised him by scooping a chunk onto her finger. She slid her finger inside her mouth and closed her eyes as she sucked the sweetness away. Her moan almost caused him to embarrass himself.
Ian cleared his throat. “Ahh, like this?”
Sara bit back a smile when Ian grimaced as he dipped his finger into the slippery jam. She covered her mouth to hold back her enjoyment as his first attempt ended with the jam falling down his shirt front, staining the white fabric with a red glob of stickiness. His next attempt fell on the table. But his third attempt ended with him sucking the jam off his thumb in an act that brought forth the most scandalous of thoughts. She gulped at the desire flaring to life in his eyes. It would appear her husband’s thoughts held the same wickedness.
Mairi clapped, pulling their focus away from each other. “Now you are the messy one, Poppa.”
Ian chuckled. “So I am. But I know how to change that.” He dipped his fingers into the jar and touched Sara’s and Mairi’s noses at the same time with the confection. “Now we all match.”
They erupted into a round of laughter that strengthened their bond as a family. They spent the next hour making memories Sara would cherish for an eternity. It was then she realized Ian’s intentions. He kept secrets to protect those he loved. He may not love her, but he cared about her. Of that, Sara felt deep in her soul.
Two maids entered the nursery to clear away their breakfast. Sara lifted Mairi into her arms and kissed her, whispering in her ear. Mairi hugged Sara before Sara handed her over to the maid to bathe and dress for the day.
Once the maid carried Mairi away, Ian grabbed Sara’s hand. “Can we talk?”
“Yes.”
He squeezed her hand. “In the library in an hour.”
Sara nodded her acceptance. She didn’t trust herself to say anything more. His gentle approach left her feeling a vulnerability that made her unsure of the outcome of the conversation they would have.
Ian walked Sara to their suite and left her at the door with a gentle kiss on her forehead. He wanted nothing more than to follow her inside and gather her in his arms. To hold her while he confessed his secrets and love to her. In his neglect, he had failed to fulfill his promise of courting her because his greed to make her his had dominated his every action. They needed to have an honest discussion without their attraction distracting him from making amends.
He owed Sara the truth.