The Honorable Governess (False Rumors #4)

Chapter Thirteen

S ara reached the threshold of the library to find Ian waiting for her with a bouquet of white tulips clutched in his hands. The poor stems showed signs of falling off under his fierce grip. She had seen Ian in a range of emotions since she met him, but she had never seen him nervous. He held out the flowers to her with a smile that held a hint of boyish charm. Oh my, her heart had no chance but to succumb to the mere magnetism of Ian Somerville.

Sara lifted the bouquet to her face to inhale the heavenly scent. “Thank you,” she murmured.

Ian bowed before offering his arm to walk her to the settee. She laid the bouquet on the table and slid out a single tulip to hold on her lap. Ian stepped away from her and walked to the fireplace, putting distance between them. She frowned at his behavior, wondering why he’d appeared excited when she arrived and grew aloof now. However, when he ran his hand through his hair, she noticed him shaking. Their conversation was just as important to Ian as it was to her.

“I appreciate you agreeing to speak with me.”

Sara slid a petal between her fingers. “We are husband and wife. ‘Tis inevitable we discuss the issues between us.”

Ian started to pace back and forth in front of Sara. “True. We are ... Though what I mean to say is ...”

His inability to form a coherent answer caused another wall to crumble around Sara’s heart. She took pity on him and the sincerity of his attempt to make amends. She held out her hand. “Ian.”

Ian came to a halt at Sara’s outstretched hand. The patience in her gaze gave him the courage to accept her offering and settle down next to her. He refused to relinquish her hold. To do so would allow his fears to take control of the situation and cause him to blunder his attempt to win her heart.

“I do not know where to start.”

Sara entwined their fingers together and laid them on her lap. “Wherever is the easiest to begin.”

“When we arrived in London, I hired a private investigator to look into your past. I hoped to uncover a connection between whoever has terrorized you and your friends the past year. The investigator unveiled a lead concerning your parents.”

Sara frowned. “My grandmother never spoke of my parents. Only how they abandoned me to her care when I was a babe. She refused to discuss them because she never wanted me to feel unloved. When she passed away, I found nothing in her belongings to show who they might be.”

“Your grandmother was a clever lady who kept you protected from your parents. I learned she moved you to Fordwich and resumed a new identity so your mother could never use you as a pawn in her quest to gain entrance to society,” Ian explained.

“I do not understand.”

Ian shifted to face Sara. “Your mother had an affair with a married gentleman who was a prestigious lord of power amongst the ton. When he learned of his mistress’s pregnancy, he demanded she rid herself of the child. However, your mother refused. Instead, she left town to return to her mother’s home, where she gave birth to you. When the lord learned of your mother’s deceit, he tracked her down and bribed her with money and jewels to keep her silent. It wasn’t long after that your mother abandoned you with your grandmother. Your grandmother knew your mother would return one day to use you to blackmail your father whenever she needed more coin.”

Ian paused to allow Sara to absorb the truth about her parents. “So she moved away so her daughter could never find you, where you spent your life until she passed away. She thought her secret was safe. However, your grandmother neglected to understand how your father had tracked her every move through the years. He knew the exact moment when you arrived in London.”

“Who is he?” Sara whispered.

“There lies the mystery. Your grandmother left a journal with a neighbor. The journal held details of your birth and your father’s initials. Your grandmother confided the truth to her neighbor for your protection. She feared if anything happened to her, the authorities would leave you in an orphanage. She wanted the neighbor to contact the lord to prevent that. However, the neighbor is now quite elderly and can’t recall the lord’s name. She only had the scratching of his name on a faded piece of parchment.”

“And my mother?”

Ian caressed her wrist in a soothing motion. “She vanished, never to return.”

Sara took a deep breath to fight back her fear of the question she needed to ask. “Do you hold the opinion my father is the person behind the threatening letters?”

“Yes, I believe so.”

Ian’s honesty left her astonished at how someone who should’ve loved and protected her would be the same person who’d frightened her friends and now threatened her. She wanted to weep at the injustice. However, it wouldn’t solve the dilemma before them. She needed to show Ian her strength for him to realize she wasn’t a fragile miss who couldn’t handle the brutality of what life offered. Yes, she’d had a loving grandmother who’d protected her, and now her husband offered her the same protection. However, in the attempt for her to never come to harm, they’d left her na?ve to the danger surrounding her.

“Are my friends and their husbands of the same opinion?”

Ian hung his head. “Yes.”

“Did you demand for them to keep your secret?”

Ian gripped Sara’s shoulders. “No. It was never my intention for them to betray you. I shared my findings with Courtland, and he informed Lockhart and Hepburn on his return to Scotland. I never expected them to share the discovery with their wives. Though I should have known better. My only excuse is how you have consumed my every thought. I neglected to understand the dynamics of what a marriage should be. When your friends arrived yesterday and made their disappointment known, I realized I had failed you.”

Sara’s eyebrows pinched together. “But you were married before.”

Ian sighed. “My marriage to Claudia differed as night and day to the one I share with you.”

Sara stayed silent as Ian rose to pace again, attempting to gather his thoughts about how to describe the differences between their marriages. Marian had already spoken of a few disparities, but only Ian could describe how the connections differed. She leaned back against the cushions as she patiently awaited his explanation.

Ian sat on the edge of the chair with his hands hanging between his legs as he attempted to articulate his thoughts on how to describe his marriage to Claudia without causing Sara any doubt that he loved her. He would confess his love after he explained the differences.

“Our parents arranged my marriage to Claudia when we were babes and nurtured by friendship. Claudia never wanted to understand the trivial aspects of being a duke, and she expected me to make every decision in our marriage without her consideration. I took on the role, believing that was how all marriages conducted themselves. She was my best friend but never my confidant. I had only ever considered my counsel until I met you and your friends.”

“That experience must have come as a shock to you,” Sara mused.

Ian attempted a smile. “An unforeseen experience. However, the more conversations I share with the gentlemen, the more I discover what having a friend entails. Our discussions about the threatening letters have been insightful, to say the least.”

Sara frowned. “However, not enough for you to confide in me.”

“I thought I was acting in your best interest if you never heard the truth about your birthright. In my attempt to protect your feelings, I failed to consider how my secrets would come between us. I apologize, my love, but your husband is a fool in all aspects where you are concerned.”

Sara turned her head to the side. “Please do not refer to me in those terms.”

Ian narrowed his gaze. “My love?”

Sara’s lips quivered. “Please.”

Sara’s reaction to his endearment stunned Ian into silence. Did she not realize how madly in love with her he was? Had his every action not shown his devotion? He closed his eyes once he realized her lonely past and his insensitive actions collided. He was more of a fool than he fathomed. Sara had only ever known the love of her grandmother. Not of a gentleman who would move heaven and earth just to have her smile bestowed upon him. She didn’t even realize how her friends loved her like she was their sister. Everyone Sara had ever known had failed her.

He fell to his knees in front of her and gently drew her face toward him, cupping her cheeks. “I cannot call you anything else because it would pale compared to how I care about you. You are the sweet sunshine of my days and the tempting moon of my nights. Your smile sets my heart aglow with the most amazing stars shooting from your eyes at how you approach life with a sense of bravery I admire. I love you from the very depth of my soul.”

“’Tis impossible,” Sara whispered.

Ian’s smile widened at Sara’s denial. “How so?”

“You are a duke.”

“And you are my duchess.”

“Only because of your sense of honor.”

Ian rubbed his thumbs across Sara’s cheeks. “My only sense of honor was to make you my wife before I dishonored you as my governess.”

Sara blushed a fiery red. “Lust is closely misconstrued as love, Your Grace.”

Ian threw his head back and roared with laughter at every deniable excuse Sara extended to describe the depth of his feelings for her. It would appear his wife needed more convincing to understand how much he loved her. With one swift movement, he rose and swept Sara into his arms, settling her on his lap. He would spend the entire day convincing her if he so needed.

“Your Grace,” Sara gasped with astonishment. That only earned her a tender kiss. Ian coaxed her lips apart with the gentle pressure of his tongue. She sighed against his lips. “Ian.”

“Mmm, much better,” Ian murmured. Before their kiss turned into a passionate declaration of their desire for one another, he pulled back. He needed Sara to see that the connection that bound them together ran much deeper than their passion for one another.

Sara’s eyes fluttered open when Ian pulled away. She almost stated how true her statement was from their kiss, but Ian’s expression stopped her from uttering a single word. He stared at her with what could only be called love. It was how her friends’ husbands stared at them. While passion flared behind the love, it was the love she’d been blind to. Because it was the same expression Sara had caught Ian staring at her with since they married.

She lifted her hand to trail her fingers against his temple. “You love me.”

Ian captured her hand under his. “Aye.”

She couldn’t hold back her tears even if she tried. Dreams she’d never thought possible were within her reach if she allowed herself to be free from her past. A past filled with a loss of worthiness. Lying in Ian’s arms, she finally found the love she had always craved. He loved her not because she was an obligation but because he chose to love her. She would always hold a special love for her grandmother, but Sara had noticed in rare moments that she was also a burden. One out of obligation to protect her. While Ian held the same belief, it was because of how deeply he loved her.

“I love you too,” Sara confessed.

Ian moved their hands to cover his heart. “Aye, love. I have felt it here, blooming to life since the day I met you.”

Sara pressed her lips against his. “I thought I had kept my feelings hidden.”

“Ah, love, your eyes are the vision of your soul. Even if I couldn’t see the love shining from them, your every action speaks of your love and devotion for me.”

“I only want to make you proud.”

He brushed his thumb across her lips. “I am honored to be your husband. You must understand I hold no one’s opinion to matter but yours and yours alone.”

Sara allowed Ian’s confession of love to wash away any doubts she held about belonging in his life. He wasn’t a gentleman to allow others to change his mind, nor would he allow them to influence the decisions he made. He was a formable duke who others sought to impress and follow. His declaration of love filled her heart with the promise of a loving future with her by his side. Whoever didn’t support their marriage, Ian would never allow their opinion to stop him from loving her.

Ian relaxed back on the cushions, pulling Sara with him. He held her for a while in comfortable silence while they both absorbed the depth of their love for one another. The weight of the secrets Ian had kept from her lifted to be replaced with the reassurance of their confessions. No longer would he have to deny what he longed to share with her. While the duties of a duke and duchess would consume their lives, Ian promised to create memories where only the two of them existed.

“Where do we go from here?” Sara’s question broke through their peaceful moment.

Ian caressed her arm. “I refuse to place you in harm with what we should do. I wish for us to return to Scotland with the hope that the culprit ceases his games once he realizes we are not a threat to his existence. With the help of your friends and their influence, we can secretly spread word of the investigation having ended. I believe our enquiry has only instigated the taunts, and our presence in London intensifies the danger.”

Sara turned in his arms. “Have there been more letters since our wedding?”

Ian winced. “Yes.”

Sara gave him a tight nod. “Can I read them?”

“Yes, even though I wish to shield you from them. I never meant for there to be secrets between us. You must understand, I wished to protect you from the evilness of this world.”

“I am not so fragile that I cannot handle the hardship before us.”

Ian smiled softly at her. “I know that now. However, I will always do everything in my power to prevent harm to you.”

Sara threaded her fingers through his hair to lower his head to hers. Their kiss held the promise of their future with each gentle nip of their lips as they explored the power of the words spoken between them.

“You cannot always protect me, Ian. There will be moments where I will suffer from heartache or fear, but I shall always turn to you for comfort.”

Deep in his soul, he understood what Sara meant, but he would do everything in his power so she would never have to suffer again. “Promise me you will share your doubts and fears with me and not suffer in silence any longer.”

“I promise to share the same honesty that you will share with me. Also, we will not return to Scotland. I will not give whoever taunts me the power to send us scurrying away. We will stay in London until we discover this villain. He has held his reign of power for far too long. Even if he is my father, he will not destroy us,” Sara declared.

Ian brushed a kiss on her neck. “Your bravery is an aphrodisiac to the desire I hold for you.”

Sara playfully slapped his arm. “Focus, Your Grace . This is what I meant about your lust.”

Ian drew Sara underneath him. “What courses through my veins is far from lust, Your Grace. You consume my soul with a fire that burns the fiercest of flames.”

“Oh” was all Sara could mutter before Ian ravished her lips with the passion burning from his soul.

She melted into him with one devouring kiss after another. She wrapped her arms around his neck, sinking her fingers into his hair. Their tongues tangled in a dance of seduction that left them breathless with an undying need. Sara had been on the verge of tugging at his cravat when a discreet cough and a knock on the door interrupted them.

“Your Grace, your guests have arrived. I have placed them in the parlor,” Simmons spoke from behind the door.

“Thank you, Simmons. The duchess and I will be along soon. Please serve our guests tea while they wait,” Ian ordered. He leaned his forehead against Sara’s with a charming smile. “I love you, my dear.”

Sara returned his smile with the sweetness he adored. “I love you, Ian. With all my heart and soul.”

“A love I will treasure for an eternity.” He rose and held out his hand. “Shall we join our friends?”

Sara hesitated. “They are not upset with me?”

“No, my love. They are anxious to see you are safe. Your disappearance frightened them yesterday, and they are distraught from betraying you. I believe they wish to make amends.”

Sara laid her hand on his. “’Tis I who needs to make amends.”

Ian led Sara from the library to the parlor. While everyone had kept Sara in the dark to protect her, she had kept her own secrets from them. She hadn’t understood how her disappearance had affected her husband until he made passionate love to her with a desperation that confused her. She could only imagine her friend’s despair. Ian’s confession of love made her realize that she no longer needed to carry the burden of her loneliness.

She welcomed the comfort of love.