22. Erin
Chapter 22
Erin
W e don’t head back to Tetria that night. Atina offered up her cabin, and Allarick didn’t want to be too far from his sister tonight in case she needed him. He tried to get her to come back to the cabin with us, but Atina was firm in her refusal, saying she had answers she needed about safely approaching the Leviathan and would contact us when she could.
No one spoke about her suggestion of marriage.
Not even as we were leaving.
Not even as we walk back to Atina’s cabin.
It’s dark by the time we finally leave the tavern, and my sight is nearly nonexistent, so I hold Allarick’s arm. The only light comes from the moon and the warm glow from the tavern. Even though Allarick is quiet and distracted, I still feel better next to him.
I had hoped Allarick would say something—anything—before we reached the cabin, but he doesn’t. He opens the door for me, and I walk in, expecting to have a conversation. Instead, he goes into the kitchen and starts making tea.
This is how I find myself sitting alone on the couch, replaying Atina’s words.
“If you really want to strengthen your kingdom and give your people the best fighting chance, then you two must marry. And soon.”
In my desperation to leave Grym Hollow, I signed a contract with the town’s Guardian. I read over every inch of the contract, and even knowing I would marry a king to help his kingdom overcome a dangerous foe, I signed on the dotted line. Despite the fact that I didn’t know this enemy or even the man I was to marry. It all sounded better than staying home with a man who would have surely killed me one day.
Now knowing what Allarick and I are up against, I still can’t find it in me to regret my choice. I’m out of my league with mentions of Leviathan and Nephilim, but I see how much Allarick loves Tetria and his people. I want to save that . Want to save the people he loves and serves daily. Because I’m starting to fall in love with Tetria too.
Soft footfalls turn my attention toward the kitchen just as Allarick rounds the corner with two steaming cups of tea. Our eyes meet, and he stops walking. My breath hitches, and we just stare at each other. Questions dance on the tip of my tongue. His own stiff body language tells me he’s thinking the same thing, but he’s unsure where to start.
Soon, we both break the silence at once.
“I think we should talk,” we say in unison.
Allarick gives me a shy, sheepish smile as he moves into the living room and takes a seat close to me on the couch. He offers me one of the mugs, and I can already smell the soothing chamomile.
“Thank you,” I murmur and bring the mug to my lips, tasting the hot tea. It burns my throat deliciously, and I hum in approval. “Much better than your cooking.”
Allarick laughs deeply, and heat rushes through my body. This man is going to make me spontaneously combust one of these days.
All too soon, Allarick sobers up. His hand drops to my thigh, and I tense. He takes my reaction as negative and tries to pull away, but I cover his hand with my own, keeping him in place. One day, I’ll stop being so jumpy at his touch. I like it, but you wouldn’t know that by my reactions.
“Erin, we need to talk about what Atina said earlier,” he starts.
“About the wedding,” I interrupt.
“Yes, that. I know you are here to become my wife, but I don’t want anyone to marry against their will. I cannot get you out of the contract, but I can buy you more time if you aren’t ready. I’m not sure how much time with everything happening, and?—”
“Allarick,” I say gently and put down my cup of tea. He stops talking and stares at me like a lost puppy. I reach out and place my hand on his cheek, feeling the stubble of his facial hair against my palm. His body is warm, and he leans into my touch.
“I appreciate everything you’ve done for me and everything you are still doing for me. Very few other men would see a broken girl and notice the strength hiding beneath. I’m not sure I see it yet, but I’m trying. I still have a lot of healing to do, but you’ve helped me reach a place where I’ve experienced genuine happiness and what it means to be treated properly.
“So, I’m not afraid to marry you. I would be honored to be your wife. And maybe somewhere down the road, you and I will find more than friendship in our bond.” I’m already more than halfway there, but it’s still so new and raw. And maybe the fear of rejection has kept me from admitting my true feelings.
The softness in Allarick’s eyes once would have made me question his sincerity. But not anymore. He is a man—no, kraken—of his word. If he stares at me like I’m the object of his desires and the star of all his dreams, then who am I to call him a liar?
“I do have one condition though…” I try to pull together the strength Allarick believes me to have. If there is ever a time to be brave, it's now.
“Anything, sweet girl. Name it, and it shall be yours.”
Now or never. I can do this.
I take a deep breath. “I’m not sure how weddings operate in Tetria,” I start, getting distracted by his lips. They are so close. All I need is to reach out and… focus! “Uh, but in Grym Hollow, the newlywed couple shares a kiss when their vows are complete, and they are pronounced husband and wife.”
“We share a similar tradition,” Allarick says, and I swear his body shifts. He’s closer to me. His breath is hot against my skin.
“So, we are going to have to kiss.” My voice comes out more breathless than I mean .
Allarick gives me an odd look, raising his brow. “Is that not what you want, Erin?” There’s a sadness in his tone that he tries to hide, but it bleeds through.
“What if I say it’s exactly what I want?” Be brave. Be bold. Be a woman who knows what she wants. A woman who isn’t constantly plagued by James and the monster he was.
The man before me is the furthest thing from James. Probably because he is no man at all. My kraken is kind and gentle. Patient and attentive. He puts others before himself, and he makes sure people are taken care of. He made sure I was taken care of.
This time when he moves closer, I don’t imagine it, and I don’t pull away, even though he gives me the opportunity to.
Be bold.
Be brave.
His rough yet gentle hand comes to rest on my cheek. I lean into his touch, starved for some sort of true affection that I’ve been denied for far too long.
“Do you want me to kiss you, sweet girl?” His voice is warm honey, sending jolts of electricity straight down my spine. He stares at me like he can see into my soul and knows exactly what I want and need at this moment.
I need for my lips to touch another’s, someone who isn’t James. I need a kiss that will leave me completely breathless and desired. I can’t remember the last time I had a kiss that didn’t reek of alcohol. The memories of alcohol on James’s lips are burned into my brain. I need something to replace it. I need to tell Allarick exactly what I want.
Be bold.
Be brave.
“Yes. I want you to kiss me. Now.” Okay, maybe that was a little too forceful, but I didn’t want to lose my nerve.
The corner of Allarick’s mouth cocks up. Before I know it, he’s pulling me closer until I’m sitting on his lap. My breath hitches as every hard curve and angle of his body presses into mine. He keeps one hand on my cheek while the other falls to my hip, keeping me in place. But not too tightly, leaving just enough room for me to pull away in case I change my mind.
This kraken is too perfect for the likes of me.
“You don’t know how badly I’ve wanted to hear those words,” Allarick whispers. And I’m completely stunned. He wants to kiss me? For how long?
Before I can verbalize any of those questions, Allarick moves forward, and his lips are on mine. My brain short-circuits, not accustomed to being kissed. His lips are so soft and taste vaguely of salt and the ocean. Butterflies burst in my belly, and I feel like a young girl getting kissed for the first time.
Now kiss back.
Right. I haven’t moved since his lips touched mine. My body finally reacts, and I press closer to him, kissing him back. A low growl leaves his throat, vibrating my lips. This growl, I like. His hand on my hip tightens, but I don’t feel suffocated by him. I want more.
He kisses me in earnest, and I give in to him, content with letting him control this moment. His tongue runs along the seam of my lips until my mouth parts for him on instinct. Then Allarick, my gentle kraken, claims my mouth.
He drinks me in, tasting me like he’s never had anything sweeter. A soft, needy whimper leaves my lips, but I don’t have time to be embarrassed about it. Allarick’s tongue mingles with mine, and he kisses me like he can’t get enough of me. Like just one second away from my lips is too long.
My body grows hot. Wetness pools between my thighs. I’ve never gotten turned on by a kiss, but then again, I’ve never been kissed quite like this. Something hard presses into my thigh, and when I curiously grind down, Allarick groans.
Oh fuck, this man is getting hard. For me.
He doesn’t push me to do anything other than kiss him. He’s too much of a gentleman to ask for more. Logically, I know that’s for the best because I’m not ready for more than kissing my kraken, but still, a part of me yearns for what could come from this.
Allarick kisses me until my jaw hurts and my lips are swollen. He kisses me until he steals all the breath in my lungs, and even after that, he kisses me more. When he finally pulls back, I let out a disappointed whine, but it only makes him chuckle as he reaches up to push a few fallen strands of hair behind my ears.
“We’ll have many more years of kisses, sweet girl. This first one is just for us.”
I smile at the thought. I don’t know how I would have reacted if the first time I kissed Allarick was in front of his kingdom. I would be too nervous to enjoy the moment. It would be a kiss more out of expectation and not genuine want and need. The first time deserved to be just ours, away from outside eyes.
“Many years, you say?” I smile, leaning my head against his chest. His hand runs soothingly up and down my back.
“Many, many years,” he promises. “You’re in Mescos now. Humans live longer here.”
“I’m going to hold you to that.” I like the idea that I get more time with my kraken. My eyelids get heavy and start to droop. Feeling at complete peace makes me tired. Maybe because I don’t have to fear what will come for me in the dark. Not when the deadliest thing is Allarick, and I’m certain he would die first before hurting me.
In no time at all, I lose the battle to sleep, drifting away in Allarick’s embrace. The last thing I remember before sleep claiming me is Allarick’s lips on my forehead and his soft hums of a lullaby.