Chapter Sixteen
Despite the heat of the day, a little too much sun burning the skin meant it felt a little chilly as the sun set. The sky was a glorious landscape of orange, purple, and red reflecting off of the sea.
Dinner had been a nice, quiet meal in town, at a restaurant where other couples and families filled the tables outside. Sipping a digestif, Caz couldn’t help but notice the way Grace’s face lit up anytime one of the toddlers smiled at her or screeched excitably.
“What?” Grace said, catching Caz smiling at her.
“Nothing, you just look happy.”
Grace sat up, as though she’d just been praised for a top-notch essay. “Being with you makes me happy. Sometimes I wish—” She shook her head and looked away, out towards the water in the near distance.
“Wish what?” Caz asked, intrigued.
When Grace looked back at her, there were tears in her eyes.
“I just…sometimes I wish I was gay, so I could make you happy.”
The words hit Caz in the chest as hard as a boulder that had rolled down a mountain, breaking apart and splintering into tiny, painful shards when it landed.
“I…I am happy.” It wasn’t a lie.
Grace nodded. “Yes, but…”
“No buts,” Caz said. She reached out her hand and took Grace’s. “I’m happy. Being with you, planning a future, gay or not, this is what I want.”
“Is it? It’s been a year, and you must be…needing that connection?”
Caz felt her cheeks burn. Was she that obvious? Had she said, or worse, done something that would infer she wanted something more?
“I don’t,” she said quickly…too quickly.
Grace chuckled. “You know, one of the things I love about you is that you’re a rubbish liar.”
Caz closed her eyes, swallowed slowly, and felt the heat burn hotter. “It’s not that I want—”
“I would be okay with it, if you did,” Grace offered.
Did she just suggest they sleep together? Rubbing at her face, Caz asked, “Okay with what, exactly?”
Lowering her voice, Grace said, “If you needed to, you know?”
“No, I don’t know…”
“Tut.” Grace sighed. “Look, all I am saying, is that if you need to get your needs met, then I’m okay with you going out and finding someone.”
Caz wasn’t sure what hurt more. That Grace was allowing her to go out and sleep with someone, or that it wasn’t Grace offering to sleep with her. She turned the tables.
“And what about you? Are you suggesting this because it’s something you want to do too?”
Grace looked horrified.
“No, not at all. God, no. I am quite capable of solving that issue all by myself, thank you.” She chuckled but looked away quickly.
“Well, so am I,” Caz responded. “Quite often, actually.”
“Me too.”
“Good, thanks for sharing.” Caz smiled, taking the seriousness out of the conversation. She looked around for a waiter and then did the universal signal for the bill.
“You shared first.” Grace grinned. She leaned forward. “How often is often?”
“Hold on, let me check my diary for you,” Caz said with a hint of humourous sarcasm. She thumbed through the imaginary book and said, “Three times a week, and twice on Sunday.”
“I’m glad your needs are being met,” Grace added, just as the waiter placed the bill on the table.
She nabbed a mint chocolate from the small dish carrying the receipt and quicky unwrapped it while Caz checked the bill to make sure they weren’t paying for anyone else’s dinner.
Satisfied, Caz reached into her pocket and pulled her card free, placing it down on top.
“My needs are met,” she said, gazing at Grace.
A small nod indicated Grace had heard her, but she said nothing further about it. Instead, she asked, “Are you eating that chocolate?”