Chapter Seventeen
The following morning it was hot. Hotter than hot. The kind of heat you assumed greeted anyone heading down to hell for their initiation with the Devil kind of hot.
They’d found a spot on the beach a little further along from the previous day. It was quieter, the hint in the guest book at the house they’d rented had said. Just a few private houses and ‘no parking’ signs put people off, and most didn’t walk this far once they hit the beach back at the touristy spot.
Towels were laid, the windbreaker and tent were in place, and Grace sat quietly, watching as Caz skipped the smaller waves like a kid.
When she was in past her knees, Caz turned and waved back at Grace in the same way Tom Hanks did in Forrest Gump . That made Grace giggle as she raised her hand and waved back.
The previous day’s events still ran through her mind. The way Caz had tried so very hard not to stare at her as she’d undressed or the way Caz always seemed to take an extra second to think before speaking lately, as though she were making sure she said the correct thing and not what she was potentially about to blurt out.
Then she thought about their conversation last night. It would be so easy if she were gay. She loved Caz, there was no doubt of that. And her best friend was gorgeous. It wouldn’t be hard to be attracted to her, especially as she was the best person on the planet for making Grace feel heard, seen, and loved. Would it be that different with a woman?
She scolded herself for having such ridiculous thoughts. They’d been friends for almost twenty years. If there was going to be any moment when Caz might have looked at her in any way other than as a friend, it would have been back then, when they’d first met.
Maybe Caz had, and Grace just hadn’t picked up on it? She could be oblivious to those kinds of things at times, but…she wasn’t gay, so it wouldn’t have mattered.
Would it?
She smiled as Caz finally dipped under the waves and then jumped up squealing before finally plunging back under and swimming around.
They were way too far into the friend zone now, weren’t they?
This was why Grace had assumed that maybe Caz was just feeling a little lonely in the intimacy department, and why Grace had felt it was only fair to make her the offer.
But she hadn’t expected the level of relief she had felt when Caz had declined to go off and sleep with someone else. And that unsettled her. Why was she relieved? This was her friend, and they’d agreed right at the start it was on the table as an option. Their marriage and commitment to each other was about family, love, and the future, not sex. Caz was free to engage in hook-ups.
And yet, Grace now realised, the idea of Caz going off with a stranger for a casual romp to satisfy her needs didn’t sit well with her… Not well at all.
She thought of Macy, Caz’s last girlfriend of any relative length of time. She’d lasted six months. Grace didn’t like her much. Who was she kidding? She really didn’t like her. She was far too immature for someone as grown up as Caz. And she always kept Caz waiting—late for every date. Grace had been glad when she’d got given the elbow.
Not that she ever encouraged Caz to dump these women; none of them were good enough for Caz as far as Grace was concerned. But she also couldn’t, in retrospect, deny she wasn’t just a little bit pleased when Caz was available to spend more time with her.
Was that selfish, or…something else?
“Jesus, what kind of friend are you?” she said to herself as she turned her face up towards the sunshine, letting the heat of it burn away the shame she felt for such thoughts.
“Hey, you coming in?” Caz said moments later, the shadow of her suddenly blocking out the sunlight. Tiny droplets of cold water landed on Grace’s foot from Caz’s dripping fingertips and raced each other down her hot skin.
God, she was adorable, wasn’t she? Grace heard her own words in her head and smiled at the goosebumps appearing on Caz’s body as she shivered a little in the breeze, or was it something else causing the reaction?
“Just so you can splash me and dunk me again?”
“Yep.” Caz nodded, grinning at her. “You know you want it.”
Grace swallowed hard. “I do?”
“Definitely. It’s too hot. A quick, sudden burst of freezing English Channel will soon get you—”
“I think not,” Grace said quickly, though right now a cold something might actually be what she needed to knock these thoughts out of her head.
Caz huffed and blew out a loud breath that ended with a “Pfft” as she flopped down onto her towel. “Are you alright?”
Grace frowned as she turned to face her. “Yes, why? What makes you ask that?”
Shrugging, Caz reached forward and let her fingers drag through the sand. “Nothing, just…you’ve been quiet, so I’m just checking in.”
Smiling now, Grace leaned over and kissed her cheek. “This is why I love you.” Because you put my every need first and focus all of that love in my direction, and I want it to be that way forever , she caught herself thinking.
“That’s okay then.” Caz grinned. “Wanna build a sandcastle?”
“Yes, very much so,” Grace said, as the words, This is why I love you, kept swimming around in her head. She watched Caz dig out an empty water bottle.
“Gonna fill this up and make the sand wet, then we can build a huge castle.”
“You’re such a kid.” Grace laughed.
Caz was up and running to the water just as two women jogged along. They were side by side, in perfect step with one another, baseball caps on, sunglasses, too, but as they passed, Grace gasped.
They were long gone by the time Caz ran back and poured the water onto the dry sand.
“Did you see who that was?” Grace said excitedly and pointed. Caz followed her finger to see the back of two women running, getting further away with every step.
“Was it Kate Winslet? Did I bloody miss Kate Winslet?”
Grace shook her head. “No. It was that musician—the one who plays the piano and used to be in that band…”
“Which band?”
“The one from years ago. The bus crashed and—”
“Oh, that band…piano?” Caz wracked her brain. “Sasha?”
“Yes.” Grace stabbed a finger at Caz. “Her, it was her, and I assume…isn’t she gay?”
“One of the family, yes, I think I read that. I don’t know her, though. Not my kind of music,” Caz confirmed without the slightest interest in anyone famous who wasn’t Kate Winslet.
“You need more water.” Grace smiled, looking at the patch that was now drying already. “Lots of water.”