Chapter Thirty-Two
With Alex sat at the piano, Grace listened as she played through a piece. It was beautiful; up and down the scales Alex’s fingers moved, creating such emotion, Grace couldn’t avoid the feelings that swelled within her.
“I wrote this for Morgan when we were pretending we weren’t together,” Alex admitted. “I think those moments, at times, we’re so exciting, but daunting too.”
“How so?” Grace asked.
“There were so many variables. This life I live isn’t exactly…it can be hard for any partner of mine to be part of.”
“So, what was it that made you go for it?”
Alex smiled up at her, the music changing into something gentler. “I realised that there was nobody on this Earth who got me like she did, and who allowed me to get her.”
Grace considered it, her own thoughts moving to Caz and how she made her feel. “I can understand that.”
“Do you love her?” Alex asked, still playing, but her eyes watched Grace’s face.
Staring out of the window, Grace smiled at Caz talking animatedly with Morgan. She turned back to Alex. “Yes, she’s my person.”
“I think that’s obvious to anyone who meets you both.” Alex grinned. “But you’re not attracted to her?”
“I’m straight. So, yeah, kind of an issue…”
“That’s not what I asked.” Alex smirked playfully. “I’ve slept with many straight women.”
Feeling her face flush, Grace bit her lip. “I just…sometimes I look at her and I wonder if we could…but then I think about the mechanics of it all and I’m not sure that’s something that does it for me.”
“You know it’s not all scissoring and sitting on a face, right?” Alex laughed gently. “Sex is sex, Grace. How you do it and what gets you off are personal choices.”
Grace nodded. “We kissed…”
“She said.”
“Then she said we shouldn’t do that anymore, but then she kissed me again this afternoon. I like that. I like cuddling and kissing her.”
“But?” Alex stopped playing.
“We got into this with an arrangement, and things have changed a little between us, but…I don’t want to risk losing what we do have by experimenting with something I’m not sure I can—I don’t want to let her think it might and then it doesn’t happen, and it ruins what we have. I can live without sex. I don’t think I can live without her.”
Now it was Alex who nodded. “Well, she already put a ring on it, so I guess you have all the time in the world to figure it out.”
Grace laughed. “Yes, maybe…I just hope it’s enough for her.”
Alex looked out through the door, towards the decking where she could see Caz. “She looks at you like you’re enough.”
“She does,” Grace admitted.