Chapter Eighteen
Jess
Monday 10 February
Jess bounced along the street, lead in hand, ready to pick up Baxter, Nathan’s Golden Retriever puppy. Baxter was adorable. Yes, Jess was biased, she thought all dogs were adorable, but Baxter was such fun. She’d always loved big dogs and Baxter was a big dog. Well, big puppy, since he was only just over a year old.
In the past few weeks, Jess had spent quite a bit of time with Nathan. Nothing untoward– a latte in the gym café, or a drink at the juice bar. Sometimes it was just Nathan, sometimes other gym-goers joined them. She’d even gone to the pub on Friday. Then there were the dog walks. As he’d walked back with her to drop off Betsy Boo, Teddy and Bella the day Bella had bolted, Nathan had told her he’d been looking for someone to walk his dog since his last dog walker moved out of the area the previous month. He’d had a woman lined up but then she’d broken her ankle, so he was still between dog walkers and now he hoped he’d found one. Jess.
Jess had laughed and asked why he’d want her to walk his dog when he’d caught her at her worst, having lost one, even if it wasn’t exactly her fault. She’d told him about the young boy who’d hit her with the skateboard, sending her flying, and assured him that usually she had no problem keeping dogs under control. She’d also told him of her one dog at a time rule, and how she’d really regretted allowing herself to be in the position of handling three dogs that day.
Nathan was a nice guy, good company and he made her laugh and he certainly dedicated plenty of time to her– something Mark hadn’t been doing for a while. She enjoyed talking with him and he listened, really listened. Apart from Kelsea, who was interested in everything, and Ellie and Anouska, it had been a long time since anyone had paid that much attention to what she said. They were simply a guy and a girl enjoying each other’s company.
Her phone rang, breaking into her thoughts. Ellie.
‘Hi, Ellie, how are you?’
‘Still a bit dazed, to be honest, but I’m back to work today. Just thought I’d give you a call between meetings. It’s tea break.’
‘Ah. On a completely unrelated matter, have you heard anything about your interview yet?’
‘Funnily enough, no, but someone else in the department has gone for the job, and they’ve been given an interview date of early March.’
‘Well, that’s good. It means you’ll get your date in soon too.’
‘I guess so.’
Ellie sounded so flat, Jess couldn’t help herself. ‘What’s up? You don’t sound remotely enthused at the prospect.’
Ellie sighed. ‘It’s just…when I stayed over with Chloe last week, I realised how much I’ll miss them all if I move to Manchester. I’ll miss seeing Rosie grow up. She’s already changing so much every day.’
‘Hmm. Yeah, that is definitely a consideration, but I’m sure Chloe and Rosie would come to visit you. And, ultimately, you have to do what you think is best for you. So, if it’s the job, particularly now you no longer have the Scott complication, then go for it. But if taking the job won’t make you happy, because you’ll miss your family too much, don’t do it.’
Ellie exhaled noisily. ‘Oh, I wish I knew what to do.’
Jess could envisage Ellie putting her head in her hands in despair.
‘Listen, you don’t need to decide now. Go for the interview. Trish already knows you’re not in a great place. Is she part of the interview process?’
There was a slight pause before Ellie said, ‘I’m not sure. I suppose I’ll be in a better position to know that once I receive my email. But doesn’t that show my lack of commitment to the promotion if I don’t even know who’s on the panel? Usually I’d have all this info colour-coded!’
Jess laughed. ‘Seriously, stop beating yourself up. Go for the interview, and if you get the job and change your mind, so what? People change their minds all the time, for a multitude of reasons. I bet no one’s giving Trish hassle over leaving, are they?’
‘No,’ conceded Ellie. ‘Thanks, Jess. I feel a bit better now. And thanks for agreeing to meet tomorrow night instead of Thursday.’
‘No problem, I’m looking forward to it.’
As Jess ended the call, she reflected on Ellie and how her priorities had changed in a matter of days. Her mind then turned to her upcoming trip to Sicily. She hadn’t even thought of her proposal recently. Now that the trip was booked, she should have been honing the details, especially with it now only being three weeks away, but she hadn’t arranged anything apart from travel insurance.
Was that telling in itself? The state of Ellie’s relationship and its subsequent falling apart had put the idea in her head. Was she doing the right thing? She knew Ellie and Anouska would tell her not to be silly, that she and Mark were totally different from Ellie and Scott, but she couldn’t help the niggling doubts. Could you have pre-proposal nerves as well as pre-wedding nerves? Because if so, she was definitely having them. And could any of these doubts be attributed to the sudden appearance of Nathan in her life? Nothing had happened between them and nothing would, but was his effortless interaction with her showing her that men could actively engage in conversation and contribute instead of muttering and pretending to listen, or saying they were busy marking English homework or going off to play rugby?
It made Jess’ anxiety levels spike, and she wasn’t generally an anxious sort of person. So why did she feel as if she were doing something wrong when she wasn’t?
As she walked up Nathan’s driveway and took out the key, she could already hear Baxter’s deep excited bark from the other side of the door, and she smiled. Why did dogs make her happier than most humans? She’d rarely met a dog she didn’t like, yet she’d met plenty of humans whom she didn’t gel with, even though she considered herself easy-going and non-judgemental, and she didn’t gossip. Whatever the reason for her affinity with dogs, she was glad of it. Not only did it guarantee her an occupation, it meant she spent a great deal of her time doing what she loved with those she loved– her furry friends.
Baxter launched himself at her as she opened the door. It was only as she separated herself from the enormous puppy whose paws reached her shoulders that she became aware of a presence in her peripheral vision. She glanced up to see Nathan, halfway down the stairs, gawping at her. She stood frozen to the spot as Nathan finally collected himself, stuttering, ‘I-I was looking for a towel. Give me a minute.’
Jess was so shocked at the sight of a completely naked Nathan– a rather pleasing sight, she might add– that she couldn’t even look away. She stood, her mouth hanging open, as he raced back upstairs.
By the time he came back down a few minutes later in a T-shirt and joggers, her heart had almost, but not quite, returned to normal. She certainly hadn’t been expecting such an adventurous start to the morning, and from the shock on his face, neither had he.
His dark hair curled at the nape of his neck and droplets of water still clung to the edges. For some reason that’s what she fixated on. It was all too easy to recall the detail of his six-pack, now hidden under his plain white T-shirt, although it couldn’t hide the definition in his arms. Jess wondered if she’d visibly gulped, because it certainly felt like she had.
She was relieved beyond measure that he had seen fit to throw on a pair of joggers and not just shorts, as she didn’t think the memory of what she’d seen below the waist would ever leave her. She hoped her face wasn’t as crimson as she thought.
‘I’m so sorry about that,’ Nathan said. ‘I assumed it was the postman when Baxter barked.’
Jess lifted an eyebrow. ‘You usually greet your postman naked?’
He laughed, a rich, melodious sound. ‘No, of course not. I meant, I thought he’d delivered letters and gone, and that I was safe to come find the towel I’d left downstairs.’ He gestured behind her. ‘My airing cupboard’s behind you.’
‘Would you like me to pass you one?’
Nathan’s face scrunched up in puzzlement.
‘Your hair’s still wet.’ The urge to reach out and show him where exactly was strong, but she resisted, although it was almost like a magnetic pull was dragging her towards him. What the heck was wrong with her this morning? Or maybe she was just a hot-blooded woman with needs. Yes, she liked that idea.
‘Sure. Thanks.’
Jess turned round, grateful for a few seconds to compose herself again, opened the cupboard and threw him a towel.
‘Thanks.’
‘Poor Baxter’s champing at the bit here. I’d better take him out. See you later.’
‘Yeah, bye, and sorry again.’
‘No worries.’ She stopped herself just in time from trotting out ‘Anytime.’ That was almost as bad as ‘My pleasure.’ She closed the door behind her thinking she wouldn’t be seeing so much of him next time, or she hoped not for her heart’s sake.
An hour later, Jess’ heart rate picked up again as she approached Nathan’s door, a tired and happy Baxter at her side. Her arm ached from having thrown the tennis ball so many times for Baxter, but he had a lot of energy to burn, and quite frankly, Jess had needed an outlet today too. During the entire walk and play session with Baxter, she’d thought of nothing but her earlier encounter with Nathan. It was hard not to as she couldn’t shake the vision from her mind, plus she was playing with his dog. No matter how hard she tried, Baxter was there as a constant reminder.
This time she knocked at the door. She wasn’t taking any chances, despite the improbability of Nathan deciding to take another shower today. She didn’t think she’d ever again use the key he’d given her, quite so freely; instead, she’d pound on the door first to ensure he wasn’t home.
She let Baxter back in, gave him a treat, refilled his water bowl and glanced around Nathan’s kitchen with renewed interest. It was tidy, although not scarily so– a dirty cereal bowl stood in the sink, with some soapy bubbles in it– but there was no dirty laundry around, the worktop was immaculate and the floor was free of dog hair. Keeping that clean must have been a nightmare with Baxter. So Nathan knew how to use a dustpan and brush or a hoover. Bonus points.
Right, she’d better get out of there, before she engaged in proper snooping. An itch was growing underneath her skin. An itch to know, just for curiosity’s sake, if Nathan was single. Her devil side would love to be able to know the answer to the question many of the women in her classes kept speculating about. But although she’d been keeping a keen eye open, she hadn’t detected a female presence or a feminine touch to either the items in the kitchen or in the choice of décor.
Baxter circled her legs, trying to jump up, clearly having had his fill of water. A noise in the hall startled her. Oh no, had he come back? She didn’t know if she could handle this much embarrassment in one day. She needed to get out of here before her mind returned to what he looked like naked. Too late. Her face flushed as the image indelibly imprinted on her mind resurfaced.
She braced for having to make small talk, but was relieved when a few seconds later, no sound came. She peered into the hall and breathed out as she saw the stack of letters on the doormat. Postman. Thank God.
‘Bye, Baxter.’ She patted him and didn’t dally any further.
That evening, Jess came home a little later than usual, due to heavy traffic on the route back from the gym. As she opened the front door, a combination of delicious aromas wafted in her direction.
‘What’s all this?’ Jess almost had to physically lift her jaw off the ground, such was her surprise.
‘What? Can’t I cook a delicious yet nutritious meal for my beloved?’ asked Mark with a cheeky grin.
‘Daily, if you like, but since you never do, I have to wonder if you’re looking for me to donate one of my kidneys to you or something.’
‘Oi, you, it’s not that infrequent an occurrence.’ Mark pointed his wooden spoon at her.
Jess put her hands on her hips. ‘You think?’
‘OK, OK, I’ll admit I’ve been neglecting you, neglecting us, recently, but I’m here to make amends.’ He pointed to the oven. ‘What do you think?’
A dish was bubbling away invitingly. Its very proximity proved too much for Jess’ taste buds and her stomach rumbled in response.
‘Ah, that’s what I like, a sign of encouragement. Baked feta with burst tomatoes and a chilli honey glaze.’
Jess smiled. Mark didn’t know how to cook, so for him to do so was nothing short of amazing. And the meal sounded incredible.
‘But that’s not all, m’lady,’ said Mark. ‘Oh, no. Then we have souvlaki with tzatziki.’
Jess licked her lips. She was so hungry. She wished Mark would stop talking so she could just eat.
‘I decided to go with a Greek theme,’ Mark added. ‘No dessert, though. I thought that was enough.’
‘More than,’ said Jess. ‘Mark, this sounds and smells marvellous, but what’s the occasion?’
‘There isn’t one, although it is Valentine’s Day in a few days, so I thought we’d celebrate a little early.’
‘Right.’ The cogs in Jess’ brain whirred, wondering why he couldn’t just have prepared this fantastic meal on Valentine’s Day itself then, although in many respects she was glad he hadn’t waited, as she was ravenous.
The meal was fabulous. Mark had truly excelled himself. Afterwards, as they reclined on the sofa, replete, Jess promising to do the dishes later since she could barely move, a wave of contentment washed over her. Then another emotion replaced it– guilt. Whilst Mark had been planning to slave away over a hot stove, literally, she’d encountered Nathan naked– albeit by accident– and been unable to shake that image from her head all day. Even now it had re-entered her psyche and was taking up more space than it should be.
Time to redress the balance. She cuddled into Mark and they put on an action movie.
‘Oh, Jess, on Friday, there’s a leaving-do for Neil at work. You have any objection to me going?’
‘Objection? Why would I–?’ She threw a cushion at him, scoring a direct hit to the head, despite him ducking, as a laugh burst from Mark’s throat.
Valentine’s Day. She’d been played.