The Leap Year Proposal

Chapter Nineteen

Anouska

Tuesday 11 February

Anouska was enjoying travelling less for work, and was now taking her pregnancy in her stride, particularly since she’d decided not to present Zach with the facts yet and instead wait until she proposed. Plus, now she’d dispatched her mother back to Sweden, she didn’t have her well-meaning running commentary on what she ought to do with regards to Zach. Maura had made her promise to ring her within an hour of proposing to let her know all had gone well and to describe Zach’s reaction both to the proposal and impending fatherhood. Fortunately, that was still a few weeks off.

She was also enjoying her weekly meeting with the girls, although last week it had just been her and Jess because Ellie was having her showdown with Scott. Still, she was glad she’d been there for Ellie the day after her discovery, and they’d been in touch by phone and text most days since.

Telling Zach of his impending fatherhood aside, overall, she felt she was more in control of her life again. She had also managed, thank goodness, to secure a competent temp and both she and Leigh-Ann were training her up. Leigh-Ann did look a bit askance at some of the things Anouska was covering with the temp, which were usually more in Leigh-Ann’s remit, but she couldn’t explain without telling her she was pregnant, and she wouldn’t do that to Zach. It was bad enough that her mum knew before he did, even though, she reasoned, she hadn’t told Maura, her mother had simply worked it out.

So, she made a point of delegating more senior tasks to Leigh-Ann, things that she herself would normally take care of. Leigh-Ann frowned a few times at this, but Anouska pretended not to notice as she didn’t know how to talk her way out of the situation.

As she parked her car and headed for Cirque, Anouska considered the deepening special bond she felt with her child. She was glad she’d nicknamed her baby Bean. Calling Bean ‘it’ seemed so impersonal. She’d had second thoughts about her original idea of proposing over a nice meal at home, but still hadn’t worked out the details of an alternative, so she was hoping the girls might have some advice or be able to brainstorm with her tonight. And that brought her back to feeling uneasy at not having shared with the girls the fact she was pregnant, especially given they’d shared so much with her, particularly Ellie, with all the lurid details of her dramatic break-up with Scott.

Anouska spotted Ellie and Jess as soon as she entered Cirque. ‘Hi, ladies.’ She hugged them both, aware she was hugging Ellie more fiercely than usual, perhaps somehow trying to convey via the additional pressure that she was there for her whenever she needed the support.

She was surprised to see Ellie already there. So far, Ellie had earned a reputation for being the one who was always last to arrive, despite living less than ten minutes away.

Ellie looked well, all things considered, although last time they’d met, her face had been blotchy and puffy with the incessant tears she’d shed, not because of Scott’s departure from her life, but the manner in which it had occurred and the years she’d wasted on him.

‘The usual?’ Marion appeared at her shoulder with the stealth of a ninja on a mission. Either that or some supernatural being had taught her how to glide silently. The woman had two modes– noisiest person for miles around or discretion itself.

‘Latte, thanks, Marion.’ They exchanged pleasantries and then Marion retreated to fix her order.

‘So, how is everyone?’ Anouska looked between Ellie and Jess.

‘I’m doing really well,’ Ellie said, her voice more chipper than Anouska had expected.

Anouska appraised her and thought that apart from her improved physical appearance, she genuinely did look so much happier.

‘That’s great. Any reason in particular?’ She quirked an eyebrow.

‘Well, as is always the case with these things, you never hear about something then when you discuss it, up it pops.’

‘Sorry, you’ve lost me,’ Anouska said. ‘What do you mean?’

‘You know how I’ve been waiting to hear about the promotion?’ At Anouska’s nod, Ellie continued, ‘My letter came in today’s post.’

‘That’s brilliant news. When is it?’

‘Second of March. So I still have plenty of time to prepare.’

‘What’s to prepare? You’ve virtually been doing the job the past month or so anyway,’ Jess put in.

‘I have, and I’ve been shadowing Trish, which has been wonderful, such an insight. Hope the interview panel don’t get wind of the fact I’ve had extra help or hands-on experience, direct from my mentor.’

‘We all have to do what we can in business to get by,’ said Anouska. ‘It was Trish who suggested it, not you. Shadowing her is just a natural progression of your current job anyway.’

‘True, but I’m not sure the other candidates would see it like that.’

‘There are other candidates then,’ Jess said.

‘Yeah, like I told Anouska the other day, someone else in my department applied and has an interview, but I don’t know who else is up for it, or how many other candidates there are in total. I’ve heard rumours there’s at least two external, but you’ve got to hope it goes internally. I wouldn’t mind if it went to my colleague, but it’ll feel like a bit of a slap in the face if someone external gets it.’

‘I see your point,’ Jess said sagely.

‘And have you heard anything from Scott?’ asked Anouska tentatively.

‘Yeah, he’s been to the house a couple of times. I haven’t answered the door, and fortunately he hasn’t been shouting at the top of his voice or anything. Trish threatened to go sort him out.’

‘Trish?’ Jess’ bemusement was clear from her tone.

‘Yes, she plays rugby. You would not want to mess with her, believe me. That’s why I’m always glad to have her in my corner.’

‘So, what else have you been up to?’ Anouska asked.

‘I went rock climbing at the weekend with one of my friends, just to get away from it all. Weather was decent. That doesn’t happen often in February.’

Jess rolled her eyes. ‘Tell me about it. I’ve either been freezing or soaked the past few weeks when I’ve been dog walking. Not my favourite season, winter.’

‘And what about you, Jess? What’s new with you?’ Anouska asked.

‘Not a great deal. I haven’t nailed down any of the proposal details, although obviously the trip’s booked and everything, but I haven’t figured out what I’m going to wear, or if I’m getting him a ring before the proposal or once we get back, or anything.’

‘Haribo?’ suggested Ellie.

They all laughed.

‘Didn’t you go shopping with Kelsea and Lauren last month for a new wardrobe?’ Anouska asked.

Jess made a face. ‘Yeah, but half the time we were having lunch and drinking Prosecco, so not much shopping actually got done.’

‘That is a problem with those two.’ Anouska laughed.

‘I did have a very weird, but funny, thing happen the other day, though. It was embarrassing, actually.’

‘Oh, pray tell.’ Ellie leant forward. ‘We do love a good embarrassing story.’

‘Well, I went to pick up Nathan’s dog. You remember I’ve not long started walking him?’ They nodded. ‘Anyway, I open the door and Nathan is coming down the stairs bollock naked.’

‘Oh my God, I’d have died!’ Ellie’s hand covered her mouth. ‘What did you do?’

Jess fidgeted. ‘Well, I, er, I froze.’

‘You froze?’ A smile played on Anouska’s lips.

‘Yes, I couldn’t move at all. And he sort of did the same and then seemed to finally come out of his daze and bounded upstairs to get dressed.’

‘Please tell me you looked away then,’ said Ellie, bursting out laughing.

‘I couldn’t! I froze.’

‘So you watched as he raced upstairs? Hopefully, no dangly bits were visible.’ Anouska waggled her eyebrows.

‘I wasn’t concentrating on that,’ Jess said, in mock outrage.

‘I would have been,’ Ellie had no problem admitting.

‘Well, he did have a nice–’

‘Jess!’ Anouska cut her off.

‘I was going to say butt.’ Jess turned a deeper shade of crimson. ‘Butt. Anyway, enough torturing me, how’s things going with your proposal ideas, Anouska?’

‘Let me get us some fresh drinks and then I’ll fill you in.’

As Anouska walked towards the counter to speak to Marion, she could hear Jess and Ellie chattering behind her. Marion wasn’t at the counter. She must be in the storeroom.

Something was niggling at Anouska’s brain. Something about the story Jess had just told. It was funny, but Anouska had the feeling there was more to it. If she didn’t know better, she’d have thought Jess liked Nathan, and not just in an I-walk-his-dog capacity.

Marion reappeared, interrupting her thought process, and took her order.

When Anouska returned to the table, Jess reminded her she was to provide an update on her proposal.

Anouska sighed. ‘Honestly, I don’t know how to propose to Zach. Usually, I’m the ideas person but I feel as if my creative well has dried up,’ she said wistfully.

‘Well, what’s Zach interested in?’ Ellie asked.

‘He likes music, travel, architecture. Restaurants, obviously. Cooking.’

Jess scribbled notes on a napkin. ‘That’s plenty to work with. How about proposing at a favourite landmark, or one he has always wanted to go to?’

‘I don’t know. He’s a very private person. I’m not sure he’d like others watching our intimate moment.’

‘Anouska,’ Jess said hesitantly. ‘Excuse me if I’m overstepping, but are you sure you definitely want to get married, or propose on the twenty-ninth?’

Anouska gave a sharp intake of breath before Jess continued. ‘Sorry, I’m honestly not trying to pressure you in any way, exactly the opposite in fact. It’s just I have this sense something’s going on in the background, like we’re missing a piece of the puzzle.’ Jess bit her lip and looked at Anouska, worry lines etching her forehead. She was obviously concerned in case Anouska took offence.

The irony of her having had a similar thought about Jess only five minutes before wasn’t lost on her, and Anouska wanted to tell them what was going on, but she couldn’t. How could she tell the girls without being disloyal to Zach? What to do?

‘There is, and I promise I will tell you at some point, but it’s complicated, and I can’t tell you tonight. You see, it’s tied up with the proposal and might be a dealbreaker. Sorry, I’m probably not making much sense. The bottom line is I need to propose to Zach before I can give you any more information. Apologies if that’s cryptic.’

‘Sorry, I didn’t mean to pry,’ Jess said.

‘Not at all. We’ve shared so much of ourselves with each other the past few weeks, and been there for each other, it’s only natural you’d notice if something felt off.’

‘It must be lovely sitting out here in summer,’ mused Jess.

Anouska wondered if she was changing the subject intentionally.

‘Oh, it is. You must come back then. It’s gorgeous here, busy, especially during the festival, but it feels like being on the Continent, people sitting in Princes Street Gardens in the evening sun, the street performers, the buzz, the tourists.’ Ellie was clearly proud of the capital.

‘I’m not great with crowds to be honest,’ said Jess. ‘Having to wait four deep to get to the bar panics me.’

‘Really? Do you have some sort of phobia or something?’ asked Ellie.

‘Not as such, but I have had some panic attacks in large crowds.’

‘That must be quite scary.’ Anouska empathised with her, having her own issues with panic attacks. ‘I don’t like going in tunnels. I drive the long way around to avoid them.’

‘That’s funny, one of my friends is the same with bridges. Makes journeys with her so much longer, but a lot more interesting,’ Ellie said.

By the time they left, with promises to meet again the following week and text with any updates, the ground was frosty underfoot.

‘Brr, it’s freezing.’ Ellie took her gloves out of her pockets and put them on. ‘The temperature’s really dropped since we came in.’

‘It hasn’t half. Watch yourself, it’s slippery,’ Anouska said, just as her feet went out from under her and she landed heavily on her back. ‘Ow, ow, ow!’

‘Anouska, are you all right?’ asked Jess.

‘Yes. No. Oh God!’ she mumbled.

‘Sorry?’ Jess bent down to try to help her up.

‘I think I’m bleeding.’

‘Where? Your leg, your arm?’

Anouska gritted her teeth at the pain in her back and said, ‘Please God let the baby be OK.’

Both Ellie and Jess put an arm under Anouska and helped her to her feet, but not before Anouska registered the alarm on their faces. Jess took her phone out. ‘I’ll call an ambulance.’

‘No, no, it will take too long for it to get here. I need a cab,’ Anouska managed through her tears.

Anouska barely registered the Triage sign. This couldn’t be happening. She couldn’t lose the baby. She didn’t know much about pregnancy yet, but she knew that bleeding was bad. Why was it taking so long? She knew she was being unreasonable, she knew the NHS was stretched beyond belief and she was in an overflowing waiting room, but she didn’t care. All she cared about was making sure the baby was OK.

She wanted this baby. She wanted it with a fierceness she had never felt about anything. Bean had to be all right. And she couldn’t even call Zach as he didn’t know. God, what a fool she’d been. She could really use his support right now. The girls had been amazing, but she’d only known them for just over a month. She needed a familiar face and reassurance from the man she loved, the man whose baby she was carrying. She needed Zach.