Chapter Twenty
Ellie
Tuesday 11 February
Ellie couldn’t believe what she was hearing, or seeing. Blood was staining Anouska’s pink dress. Then she took in what Anouska said about a baby and she went on autopilot. They’d had no time to deal with the shock of Anouska’s unexpected announcement, before Jess had flagged down a cab, taken off her coat and laid it on the seat for Anouska to sit on. As soon as Anouska had mentioned bleeding and the baby, she had swung into action. Ellie had to confess to being temporarily rooted to the spot in disbelief. It could only have been a few seconds, but then she was helping Anouska up and into the taxi. Her pale, haunted face sent shivers down Ellie’s spine. Please let the baby be all right .
Ellie wheedled out of Anouska that she was about ten weeks pregnant. She prayed she wouldn’t lose the baby. Ellie knew miscarriages happened to more women than you would expect, but she didn’t want Anouska to be part of that statistic. Although they hadn’t known each other that long, she already felt strongly protective of her.
The taxi ride to the hospital felt like the longest Ellie had ever endured. Fifteen minutes later, the cab drew up in front of the hospital. They’d already ascertained which hospital was the closest, and Ellie had phoned ahead to advise them of the situation and that they’d be coming in so they could arrange a wheelchair or whatever, and be on hand to deal with her as soon as she arrived– at least she hoped it worked that way. Meanwhile, Jess comforted a sobbing Anouska and asked her for her boyfriend’s number, but Anouska kept whispering, ‘He doesn’t know, he doesn’t know. Oh, please let the baby be OK.’ She gripped Jess’ arm as if she would never let go.
Ellie wondered why Zach didn’t know. So many scenarios flitted through her mind but none made sense.
The porter hastened towards them with a wheelchair as soon as they arrived. The NHS got a bad press sometimes, Ellie thought, but they were here waiting for them with very little notice.
‘Hi, love, I’m Mike. Let’s take you on a wee trip,’ he told Anouska, who was still openly sobbing. Jess’ cream wool coat was ruined, but she didn’t seem to notice or care.
‘The baby, the baby,’ Anouska kept repeating. ‘There’s so much blood.’
‘Ah, blood always looks more than it is, love. A little goes a long way. Let’s get you up to Triage. They’ll sort you out in no time.’
It was hard not to take heart from Mike’s cheeriness and it buoyed Ellie’s spirits. She hoped it had a similar effect on Anouska.
When they arrived at Triage, they were met by an equally friendly but exhausted-looking nurse. She put them in the Triage waiting room, which was packed, and said she’d be back in five minutes. Ellie had so many questions, but she knew now wasn’t the time. Jess had her arm round Anouska, who was almost catatonic, and Ellie rested her hand on Anouska’s knee in a gesture of support. The nurse’s five minutes proved to be ten. Ellie knew. She’d been watching the second hand go round. Every tick felt like a blow to the head. When would they know if the baby was all right?
The nurse returned, clipboard in hand. ‘Anouska Bennett?’
Anouska’s eyes, which had momentarily closed, fluttered open.
‘Can I call you Anouska?’
Anouska was so distraught she couldn’t even formulate a verbal response, so simply nodded.
‘Could you wheel the chair after me?’ the nurse asked the girls as she headed through a set of swing doors. A sharp left after the doors took them to a cubicle, where the nurse pulled the curtain round the four of them.
‘I’m Elaine, one of the midwives here. Are you Anouska’s sisters then?’
Ellie wondered if she was trying to gauge if they should be in the room or not. Before either she or Jess could answer, Anouska managed, ‘No, they’re friends, but I’d like them to stay.’ She turned to Ellie and Jess. ‘As long as that’s fine with you?’
‘Absolutely,’ said Ellie.
‘Of course.’ Jess held her hand.
‘They can stay then. Let’s get a few questions out of the way, then we’ll have a little look-see. Girls, can you come and stand at the top of the bed, please?’
Ellie and Jess did as they were bid, and Ellie placed her hand on Anouska’s shoulder, whilst Jess returned to holding her hand.
The midwife ran through her questions, checking how far along Anouska was, asking what brought on the bleeding, if anything, and finally, she said she’d examine her.
Ellie and Jess averted their eyes, as although Anouska was covered by a hospital gown, it wasn’t the most dignified of positions to be in.
‘We’ll have to wait a little bit longer to be sure, but the signs are positive. Let me go and arrange a scan so we can be certain.’ The midwife popped off her gloves, threw them in the clinical waste bin and exited the room.
The girls looked at each other.
‘Anouska, it’s going to be OK,’ Jess promised.
‘Jess is right. The midwife wouldn’t have been so upbeat if the news was bad,’ Ellie agreed.
Despite her words, and her and Jess trying to be strong for Anouska, until she heard the baby’s heartbeat or saw it on the scan, she imagined Anouska would still worry. She was worrying. In fact, she felt physically sick. Poor Anouska. Ellie felt seriously under-equipped to deal with a situation of this magnitude and gravity. It all felt rather unreal to her. Now she knew what people meant when they talked of out-of-body experiences. How could they be sitting chatting in a café one minute and the next minute a life hung in the balance?
She told herself she was being overdramatic, but inside she knew that it was a very real possibility. Now was not the time to catastrophise and think of every possible thing that could go wrong. She had to stay positive and strong. Anouska needed her, and Jess.
Anouska sobbed again and Ellie tried to hug her, but it was awkward with her sitting on the bed.
‘What’s causing the bleeding? What if it’s an ectopic pregnancy? I can’t deliver the baby if that happens. I’m sure of it. Oh God, why didn’t I tell Zach?’
Ellie struggled to keep up with Anouska’s train of thought and outpouring of emotion. Her heart broke for her friend.
‘How can I tell him about the baby now? And even if everything is OK, I won’t be able to keep this from him. I’ve been such a fool. I should have followed Mum’s advice.’
Anouska was babbling now. Sometimes she was almost incoherent, or she muttered so softly under her breath, Ellie couldn’t make out what she was saying.
Anouska gave a wan half-smile. ‘Mum would be delighted at me agreeing with her for once.’ She burst into sobs again as Ellie exchanged a worried glance with Jess, and they both did their best to comfort her.
Ellie felt they’d been thrown overboard without a life raft. She had no idea how to deal with a situation like this. It felt bigger than her and made her own problems seem trivial by comparison. She held Anouska’s hand and did something she hadn’t done in a long time. She prayed.
It was an hour before Anouska was able to have a scan. The midwife rubbed cold jelly on her stomach, then swept the imaging scanner over her abdomen. The scan took only minutes, but it felt like hours. Ellie tried not to hold her breath.
Finally, the midwife smiled. ‘Your baby’s fine.’ She turned her monitor so they could see the baby’s outline. ‘Now all we have to do is calm Mum down.’
Anouska let out a breath, then cried, this time tears of joy, as she looked at the monitor.
The baby was going to be all right. Ellie, too, exhaled.
She and Jess stood either side of Anouska, each of them gripping one of her hands.
‘We’re going to admit you for observation. Your blood pressure’s a bit high, so we’d like to keep you in overnight,’ said the midwife. ‘You’ve had a bit of a shock and now we need to make sure you’re OK.’
‘No, I can’t stay in overnight!’ Panic laced Anouska’s tone.
‘Why not?’ asked Ellie.
‘Zach,’ croaked Anouska. ‘He’ll wonder where I am.’
‘Don’t you think we should call him?’ Ellie said.
‘I don’t know what to do,’ she flapped. ‘How can I let Zach find out about his baby in these circumstances? Nothing’s going to plan. I needed time to get used to the baby idea and then I was so convinced proposing on the twenty-ninth was the right thing to do, then I’d tell him afterwards that I was pregnant, that I’ve been blinded to everything else.’
And Ellie didn’t think now was the best time to make life-changing decisions.
Anouska rubbed her temples. ‘I can’t think straight right now.’
‘Why don’t we give you some time to yourself?’ suggested Jess.
‘We could go and get a coffee,’ Ellie added.
Absent-mindedly, Anouska nodded. ‘Yes…yes, thanks.’
‘Would you like anything?’ Ellie asked.
‘No, I have water here, thanks.’
Jess poured her some water from the jug at the side of the bed and then, after telling Anouska they wouldn’t be long, she followed Ellie out of the room.
‘I can’t believe it.’ Ellie touched a hand to her forehead in bewilderment.
‘Me neither.’ Jess placed her coffee cup on the table in front of her. ‘Poor Anouska.’
‘In more ways than one. We can’t leave her overnight without anyone from her family knowing, and we won’t be allowed to stay.’
‘I know. I wonder how long it’ll be before Anouska’s moved to a ward.’
‘Don’t know. It could be half an hour, three hours, depends what’s available,’ said Ellie.
‘We’ll stay until they throw us out then. I don’t like the idea of leaving her on her own even then. I wish she’d let us call Zach.’
‘I know, but I can sort of understand her logic. Imagine how terrified Zach would be to hear his girlfriend, who hasn’t told him she’s pregnant, has been admitted to hospital, pregnant, bleeding, in another city.’ Ellie tapped her foot repeatedly on the ground as if doing so would help her think of a solution.
Silence hung in the air between them as they tried to absorb everything. Finally, Jess said, ‘Let’s see how she is when we return. We’ll let her know we’ll come back first thing in the morning, or as soon as the staff will let us in. She’ll need someone to collect her before she’s allowed to leave.’
Ellie nodded. ‘I’d assume so, and it goes without saying, you’re welcome to stay at mine tonight.’
‘Thanks. Hopefully, Anouska will feel better knowing we’re both here for her.’
Ellie drained her coffee, threw the cup in the bin and then they headed back to discuss it with Anouska.
‘No, I don’t want Zach to know. Not like this.’ Anouska was almost frenzied.
‘OK, OK. Why don’t we text him then and tell him you’re staying at mine tonight and you’ll see him tomorrow?’
Anouska’s features relaxed at that and she gave a small smile. ‘Thanks. I know it’s complicated, but I feel better now I know the baby is all right. They’ll be transferring me to the ward soon. You guys should go home, it’s late. Oh God, Jess, what time is it? Have you missed the last train?’
‘Don’t worry about me. I’m staying at Ellie’s. You just need to concentrate on relaxing,’ Jess reassured her.
‘I’m so sorry about tonight,’ Anouska said, doing the exact opposite of relaxing.
‘Don’t be silly. You have absolutely nothing to apologise for,’ Jess said.
‘Jess is right. It’s not your fault. I’m just glad we were there and you weren’t on your own when it happened. You gave us a right scare, though,’ Ellie admitted.
‘This little one gave us all a scare.’ Anouska stroked her stomach.
She fired off a text to Zach. Having so much fun with the girls, have decided to stay in the hotel with them tonight as I’m a bit squiffy. See you tomorrow. A x
‘There. Done. Now, you two should get going. Are you able to come back in the morning? I know it’s a big ask, but I don’t know if they’ll discharge me if I’m on my own.’
‘Of course we’ll be back tomorrow.’ Jess patted Anouska’s shoulder. ‘Won’t we, Ellie?’
‘Absolutely. We want to check you’re all right and see you safely home. Now get some rest.’
Jess kissed Anouska goodbye and turned to leave at the same time as the midwife came back into the room.
‘We’ll have you up in the ward in five minutes. You’re in luck. Things have quietened down a little. If you’d been here earlier, you’d have had to wait hours to be moved.’
Ellie sighed with relief that Anouska was already being transferred to the ward, shot her a final smile and she and Jess left her in the care of the midwives.