The Little Island Flower Stall
Chapter One
CHAPTER ONE
It was like he wanted to be caught. Bella stared at the text message. She glanced out of the window, her husband’s phone in her hand. The afternoon sun was moving around the garden. Sean was out there, pulling at the hedges in a temper. He hated tidying the garden, but he hated the judgement of neighbours even more. She wanted to believe he’d forgotten to put his phone out of the way before he’d gone to start his chores, but part of her suspected he’d left it on display on purpose, knowing Bella would see messages coming through. He never even had any security on it. She could open it with his passcode and he knew that. She almost wished she hadn’t been able to.
Numb. It was the only word she had for the way she felt. Were they really here again? Bella had already forgiven Sean twice. Maybe it was her fault he’d done it again. Perhaps forgiving him the second time had made him believe she’d carry on forgiving him no matter what he did, no matter how many affairs he had. She should have been stronger when the first one had happened, but back then she’d trusted it was a one-off and she hadn’t wanted to lose him, and so she’d chosen to forgive him. The second time? She had no excuse for that one – it was on her, and all that was about to happen now was on her too. Did she forgive a third time, knowing that he would probably keep doing it for the rest of their married lives? Because if there was one thing she now understood about Sean from their fifteen years of marriage, it was that he knew how to take full advantage of any situation. If he thought for a second he could get away with something, then he’d bloody well do it.
No more. This had to be the last time – however much it hurt, however much she missed him, she had to stick to her guns. If she stayed, if she forgave him again, she’d deserve everything that Sean might do in the future, and in the end, those things would hurt far more than what she had to do now. She had to leave. She could ask him to go – she doubted he would. Sean was too arrogant, too entitled, too inclined to see himself in the right no matter how badly he’d behaved. He’d twist her request, and she’d become the villain for expecting him to leave. Bella wasn’t going to give him the chance. She’d had enough gaslighting for one lifetime. It would be easier and more certain if she was the one to walk away.
Afraid she might change her mind if she allowed herself a second to wobble, Bella marched upstairs to the wardrobe, dragged her suitcase from the top and then began to rip clothes from the hangers, hurling them into it. The case was only there because they’d recently been on holiday to Nice. A sign, if ever she’d needed one, that something like this had been coming. Perhaps, if whoever had sent the sign could have been a bit more explicit, Bella could have been spared a lot of heartache and humiliation.
While they’d been drinking wine together overlooking the Mediterranean, had Sean been thinking of the other woman he’d left back in England? When they’d made love back at the hotel, had he been wishing he was with someone else? Was he picturing another woman when he closed his eyes? And when he whispered Bella’s name in the throes of passion, had he been trying not to say her name instead?
The notion made Bella feel sick, but it also galvanised her. This had to be the last time Sean put her through this. It was clear to her now he would never change, no matter what he promised. Bella was doing the only thing a sane person could do – she was getting the hell out. There would be no tears this time because she was fresh out. She’d had a wonderful, comfortable, some would say privileged life with Sean, but she had to see now that it had been built on a lie. Material wealth, holidays, spa breaks and all the other things she’d enjoyed had come at a price, and it was a price she was no longer willing to pay. Let Sean have his other women, let him shower them with perfume and jewellery and weekends in the country, and good luck to them because they were going to need it.
After Bella had hauled her suitcase to the car, along with anything she cared enough about and could carry, she took a last look back at the beautiful Georgian terrace she’d called home for the last ten years. Her home no longer, and with that throat-squeezing realisation the first tear fell. Not for Sean – never for Sean, never again – but for a life that was like an old pair of shoes, familiar and grounding. She cried for an unknown future. Would she be lonely? Would it hurt like this forever? Would she ever be able to trust another man?
The front door opened and Sean appeared. ‘Where are you going?’
So unconcerned, so much of the default arrogance she’d once admired in him seeping through now.
‘I’m leaving.’
‘Leaving…What do you mean?’
‘Leaving you.’ Bella pulled in a deep breath. She needed all she could get if she was going to stay strong. ‘Have you looked at your phone? You had a text message. From Anita. Does the name ring a bell? She has some interesting activities planned for when you next see her. I think one of them involved whipped cream and handcuffs.’
He let out a groan and pulled the front door ajar as he went out onto the pavement. ‘Bella, sweetheart, let me?—’
‘Explain? Don’t patronise me, Sean! I’ve been an idiot in the past, but I’m not a total moron! Don’t tell me it was a one-night stand that you bitterly regret but she won’t let go of, a woman with an unreciprocated crush on you, or any of the other crap I’ve already anticipated might come from your mouth. Let’s call a spade a spade, shall we? I’m leaving. I doubt you’ll care, but if you do, if you miss me for one second, go and play with Anita and her handcuffs and I’m sure you’ll soon be over it.’
‘OK,’ he said, with such coolness it was all she could do not to throw her car keys at his head. ‘That’s how you want to play it.’
‘I’m not playing. I’m leaving. You’ll be getting a letter from my solicitor shortly, and I hope you’re not going to make it difficult because I want a quick and clean divorce. I’ve wasted too much of my life on you already – I want you out of it as soon as possible.’
‘You don’t mean that,’ he said, folding his arms and fixing her with a look that could only be described as mocking. He wasn’t taking this seriously. Even now, when the car was full to bursting with her belongings, he didn’t believe she’d be able to go through with this.
‘Don’t I?’ she said with a coolness she didn’t feel. ‘We’ll see.’
She got into the car and glanced out of the side window to see him shrug. Either he didn’t believe her or he didn’t care. Both possibilities made her blood suddenly boil. She’d given this arsehole fifteen years of her life and perhaps the anger was aimed less at him and more at herself for being so stupid. Whatever had she seen in him? What had made her think for a solitary second that this was the man to make her happy? For all those years she’d been fooling herself more successfully than he had.
Turning her eyes to the road, she started the engine and began to drive, not daring to look back. She’d tossed her phone onto the front passenger seat and it began to ring. She didn’t look at it. Could it be Sean? Had he realised her threat was serious? Did he care after all?
If he did, then good. Let him care. Let him feel even a fraction of the misery she’d endured since his first affair, the doubt, the constant battle with suspicion and fear. Let him see how the shoe suited when it was on the other foot. Bella was done with him.