Chapter Twenty-Four
D iana froze, her blood seeming to go cold in her body and her pulse pounding in her ears.
Captain Fallbrook stopped a few steps inside the doorway. “You’re up.”
Words failed her. Diana felt like a mouse trapped in a cage. She couldn’t let him know what she had deduced. Not until she had gotten safely away.
“Mrs. Gwynn told me you were feeling better. I wanted to check on you myself. You do seem much improved. I…” His gaze lingered on her face, and his brows wrinkled in confusion. “Is something wrong?”
She swallowed hard. “No.”
“You look as if you’ve seen a ghost.”
“Oh?” Her voice was so high and strained, she hardly recognized it. “Perhaps I… got up too quickly.”
He took in her jacket and umbrella. “Are you going somewhere?”
“I… thought I might take a walk.”
“In this weather? Don’t be mad.”
The door stood open. Should she try to dash past him into the hall? But he was stronger than she. He could easily stop her.
“You’re trembling. You had best lie down.” He stepped closer and gestured towards the bed.
Her heart leapt in fear. She took two steps back and rammed up against her dressing table. “I don’t need to lie down. I’ve been in bed for days.”
“Because you’ve been ill. You had a frightful accident.”
“It was no accident! You pushed m—” The words shot from her mouth despite herself. Heat crept up her neck.
He stared at her. “What?”
“Nothing.”
“Do you still think what happened on the footbridge was no accident?”
She hesitated. Somehow, she had to gain his trust sufficiently to leave this room and the house. She needed help. Knowing what he’d done, she couldn’t leave poor Miss Fallbrook in his care. “I don’t really remember what happened.”
“And yet, just now, you seemed to remember perfectly.” His features tightened. “The doctor claimed you were hallucinating when you said it wasn’t an accident. But it seems you still believe that it wasn’t. And you are looking at me as if I had something to do with it.”
Diana’s whole being tightened with apprehension, but she couldn’t bring herself to deny it.
“You think I pushed you off that bridge?” He squinted at her with a slow, disbelieving headshake. “Why on Earth would you think that?”
“Because you killed th—”
Although she did not complete the statement, he seemed to read her thoughts—and the terror she tried to hide. The color drained from his face. “Ah.” He stumbled back a step. With a disbelieving headshake, he continued quietly. “You’re the one who said I must not blame myself. That it was not my fault, any more than—as I pointed out—you were not to blame for your mother’s death. But… now you think I killed them ? My uncle. My aunt. My cousin? You think I murdered them all in cold blood? Why? To inherit Pendowar Hall?”
Afraid that he might strike or grab her, Diana raised an arm to protect herself. But instead of coming after her, his shoulders drooped. He gave her a long, disappointed look and then broke eye contact.
“Had I truly wanted to kill my cousin Robert,” he pointed out, “would I have put my own life in danger in the process? I very nearly drowned that day.” He heaved a deep, wavering sigh. “Moreover: at the time my uncle died, I had just returned from the Navy, bound to a wheeled chair and in such a state, I could barely walk two paces. I could not have pushed my uncle off a cliff that morning even if I had wanted to.”
His expression was so deeply pained, and his words rang with such sincerity, that Diana felt the first stirrings of doubt.
“As for you, Miss Taylor… I just spent two sleepless nights walking the corridors, worried that you might die. I sat by your bedside to spell the maids. At the time, so strong were my affections for you, I believe I would have given my own life to save you.” He frowned and repeated quietly, “At the time.”
Without another word, he turned and quit the room.
*
Diana stared out the schoolroom window at the rain, a mournful battering that mirrored the weeping within her soul.
The doctor had called again and pronounced Diana much improved but insisted she not return to work for a week. On no account could she venture out until the weather cleared.
Ivy had left lunch on the table, but Diana could not bring herself to take a single bite.
She felt like an utter fool. How could she have been so wrong? How could she have ignored the physical limitations imposed by Captain Fallbrook’s injury when he’d returned home all those months ago?
More importantly, how could she have ignored her own heart?
Everything she had learned about Captain Fallbrook over the past months told her that he was a good and generous man. She loved him. How could she have ever imagined him to be capable of murder?
Experience had so predisposed her to the idea that people lied, Diana had jumped to an erroneous verdict. The captain was deeply hurt by her allegations. That had been all too evident.
“At the time, so strong were my affections for you, I believe I would have given my own life to save you.
“At the time.”
So, he’d had feelings for her after all. Had , emphasis on the past tense. By accusing the captain of murder, Diana realized, she had lost him forever. Lost his trust and destroyed any chance she might have had for a relationship with him. She had done it to herself. There was no undoing it. It was over.
Diana sank down onto her bed and wept bitterly, the tears choking her, until her chest and jaw and throat and teeth ached. Finally, as limp as a rag doll, she wiped her eyes and blew her nose, filled with despair.
Now what? Diana wondered. She had been about to run to the vicarage when Captain Fallbrook had come in. But from what had she been fleeing? The captain meant her no harm.
A knock sounded on the schoolroom door. Diana looked up to find Mr. Emity standing hesitantly in the open doorway.
“Beg pardon, miss. I have been worried about you. I came up to see how you were faring. I heard weeping. May I?” At Diana’s nod, he entered, eyeing her with concern. “Are you all right?”
“Not really, Mr. Emity.” Diana crushed the handkerchief in her hand. “But thank you for asking.”
“You are still ill, then?”
“Physically, I’m much improved. I fear my ailment now is more of the mental variety.”
“I see.” He indicated an empty chair at the table where Diana sat. “Will you permit me to join you?”
“Of course. I cannot promise I’ll make fit company, though.”
“Perhaps I can be company to you.” He sat down and folded his hands on the tabletop. “What troubles you, Miss Taylor?”
Diana sighed. “I have committed a terrible folly, Mr. Emity.”
“A wise woman like yourself? I do not believe it. You are incapable of such a thing.”
“I think that is the problem. I dared to think myself wise. But I drew false conclusions about someone.”
“About whom, miss?”
“About Captain Fallbrook.”
“In what regard did you draw these conclusions?”
“I thought… and you will laugh at this… that he was responsible for the murder of Sir Thomas, Lady Fallbrook, and their son.”
Mr. Emity’s brows arched. “You think all three of them were murdered?”
“I did for about a minute. All the facts seemed to fit. And so… I accused Captain Fallbrook of those crimes to his face.”
Mr. Emity blinked rapidly and gave a subtle nod. He lowered his voice. “How did the captain take it? Was he very angry?”
“It might have been better if he had been. But… no. He looked at me with such disappointment, Mr. Emity. And such pain. If I had struck him with a knife to the heart, I could not have inflicted a deeper wound.”
“I’m sure that’s not true.”
“If I ever meant anything to him at all, I have ruined it.”
“I doubt that, miss. Since Sir Thomas’s death, Captain Fallbrook has not been in the most wholesome frame of body or mind. But he is a different man since you came. I believe you have been good for him. The captain has a high regard for you. He has told me of it many times.”
“Has he?” This was another blow to Diana’s soul. Confirmation of what she’d almost had but lost. “Well, if that was once true, it is no longer. He despises me now.”
“No one could despise you, Miss Taylor. ”
“You didn’t see the look in his eyes. And he’s not the only one who hates me. Miss Fallbrook does, too.”
“No, miss.”
“She does. I tried to come between her and… someone she admires.”
His nose wrinkled. “Mr. Latimer?”
She glanced at him. “You know about that?”
“I know more about what goes on in this house than you might think.”
Diana sighed again. “I failed that girl, Mr. Emity.”
“You did not, miss. You have taught her a great many things. She is a confident young woman now. She can read because of you.”
“What good is that if she throws her life away on a scoundrel like Mr. Latimer? I have an idea that it might have been he who pushed me off the footbridge.”
“I suppose it could have been.”
Diana darted him a glance. “You believe me about that?”
“That someone pushed you off the footbridge? I do. That is hardly something you could have imagined.”
Tears burned in Diana’s eyes. “No one else believes me, Mr. Emity.”
“There are none so blind as those who refuse to see.”
“If only I knew who committed that heinous act—it would answer the riddle of Sir Thomas’s death. You and Mr. Latimer were leaving the study the other day when Captain Fallbrook asked me to mail those letters. Did you overhear his request?”
“I did, miss. Mr. Latimer would have heard the same.”
“He was present at Christmas dinner when I admitted that I can’t swim. And he has reasons to wish me dead.”
“You mean, because you alerted the captain to the railroad investment in Germany?”
“You really do know everything that goes on here, don’t you?”
“I have only just become acquainted with the newest details. And may I say: I do not trust that man.”
“Neither do I.”
“But,” Mr. Emity reflected, “that does not make him guilty of murder. There may be others who knew you were going to the village that day.”
“But who?” Diana suddenly remembered: she had told her pupil that their lessons would start later that morning. She and Miss Fallbrook had quarreled… But no! That was ridiculous. It couldn’t have been Miss Fallbrook! Could it have?
“Have you spoken to Mrs. Gwynn?” Mr. Emity asked.
“Mrs. Gwynn?”
“She knows what goes on at Pendowar Hall as well as I do. And she knew Sir Thomas better than anyone.”
It was the second time, Diana realized, Mr. Emity had pointed that out to her. “I have never felt comfortable talking to Mrs. Gwynn.”
“That is no reason not to speak with her. You might be surprised at what you hear.”
His last remark gave Diana pause. Where had she heard that before? She sighed. “What have I been doing all these months, Mr. Emity? Everything I’ve attempted seems to have been a waste of time. I failed my pupil. I failed the captain. I failed to solve the mystery of Sir Thomas’s death.” In so doing, I failed my godmother , she thought.
“You must not think that way, Miss Taylor. You have not failed. You’ve done great things here. You have made a difference in both Miss Fallbrook’s and the captain’s lives. You have helped the poor in this community. You boldly tried to solve a mystery. Be proud of these accomplishments.”
Diana let out a bitter laugh. “I have nothing to be proud of.”
“How can you say that?”
“I made a mistake many years ago, Mr. Emity.”
“Everyone makes mistakes. ”
“This was a big one. I’ve been paying for it ever since.”
He lay a hand over his heart, then quickly lowered it. “You still feel bitterness, guilt, and regret over this mistake?”
Fresh tears trickled down Diana’s cheeks. She nodded.
“I cannot believe that whatever you did was unforgiveable. You have recognized your mistake and feel sorry for it. Now, it is time to let it go. To forgive yourself.”
Captain Fallbrook had once said something similar. “How do I do that?” Diana whispered. “How do I forgive myself?”
“By believing in your heart that you are deserving of it.”
As Diana processed that, Mr. Emity gave her a gentle smile across the table.
“I recall something my father once told me, back in Guinea when I was a small boy. ‘You are a worthy and unique person just for being you. Take care of yourself, for this is the only life you have.’ It is time now, Miss Taylor, to not only forgive yourself… but to take care of yourself.”
“What do you mean?”
“Someone made an attempt on your life. They might make another attempt, and soon. You are not safe here anymore, Miss Taylor. You must give up this search and go home.”
*
Diana pulled out the trunk from beneath her bed. Her eyes were wet with tears as she retrieved a dress from the wardrobe, folded it, and placed it in the trunk.
Diana still couldn’t forgive herself. But she could follow Mr. Emity’s other advice—to go home.
It was impossible to leave today. It was still raining cats and dogs. But if the weather cleared, she could ask Captain Fallbrook to provide a ride to Truro tomorrow. She might as well get ready now.
Her heart ached at the thought of leaving Pendowar Hall. This place, and the people in it, had become as dear to her as her own home and family. But Miss Fallbrook wasn’t speaking to her. The captain would be glad to see the back of her. And someone wanted her dead. She didn’t dare wait around to find out who.
As she folded up another garment, though, she recalled something else Mr. Emity had said, and paused.
“You have made a difference in both Miss Fallbrook’s and the captain’s lives.”
Diana hadn’t done anything remarkable for Captain Fallbrook, except to hurl accusations in his face. She had achieved some success with Miss Fallbrook, though. Her pupil had finally acquired the tools to understand the reading and writing process. But her command was tenuous. If Diana left now, Miss Fallbrook might fall back into her old patterns and all their progress would be lost. Worse yet, the young woman was embroiled in an infatuation with an unsuitable man, a situation that could only lead to no good. Three days had passed while Diana had been ill. Who knew what had transpired in that time? How could she leave until that was resolved?
She thought about her promise to Mrs. Phillips, who seemed to be fading with every passing day. Her godmother had put her trust in Diana to find Sir Thomas’s killer. How could she let her down?
“You are not safe here anymore,” Mr. Emity had insisted.
Diana believed that. There was no longer a shred of doubt that someone had murdered Sir Thomas. Otherwise, they wouldn’t have tried to get her out of the way. But if Diana did not bring that villain to justice, evil would triumph.
Diana would not flee. Difficult as it might be to encounter Captain Fallbrook again, she would remain and finish what she had started. If only she could solve this mystery, maybe, just maybe, Captain Fallbrook would find it in his heart to forgive her for her unfounded suspicions against him. That alone was reason enough to take a risk and stay .
With newfound resolve, Diana dried her eyes and returned her clothing to the wardrobe. She would have to be careful. On the alert at every moment. But somehow, she would learn the truth.
“Miss Taylor?”
Miss Fallbrook’s voice startled Diana from her reverie. She entered and stopped a few feet away, twisting her sketchbook in her hands. “May I have a word?”