Chapter Twenty-Five
“Y ou may.” Diana was relieved to see her pupil.
Miss Fallbrook’s gaze was downcast. “How do you feel?”
“Better. Thank you.”
“I offered to sit with you while you were ill, but William insisted that he or one of the staff must do it.”
“It was kind of you to think of me. But I am recovered, as you can see.”
“I’m glad. Although Mrs. Gwynn says you may not return to work for a week?”
“So the doctor ordered. I hope you have been enjoying your time off?”
“It has been… all right.” Miss Fallbrook shifted uncomfortably. Her gaze darted to the window. “Will this rain never stop?”
“It is rather grim.”
Miss Fallbrook still didn’t seem able to look Diana in the eye. “Miss Taylor, I… I owe you an apology.”
“Oh?” Diana waited.
“The last time we spoke… I said some awful things. I feel horrible. I was unkind and I didn’t really mean it.”
“Thank you for apologizing.”
“Can you ever forgive me?”
“I can and I do. Miss Fallbrook, I owe you an apology as well. When I saw you outside with Mr. Latimer that day, I reacted without thinking. I was too harsh. I think I embarrassed you.”
The young woman’s eyes lifted at last to meet Diana’s. “You did.”
“I’m sorry. I should have handled that better. And I’m sorry as well if I made you feel bad when I mentioned your dowry. Not every man is after a woman’s fortune. I hope Mr. Latimer does like you for you —as well he should, for you are a lovely and likeable young woman.”
A smile lit Miss Fallbrook’s face. “Do you really mean it?”
“Of course, I do. But—Miss Fallbrook, I also meant it when I said that you are still very young. Mr. Latimer has far more experience of the world than you do. You are not even out yet, dear.”
“That doesn’t matter.” Miss Fallbrook’s eyes looked dreamy, and she took a long, savoring breath. “I love Mr. Latimer.”
“I know you think that now. And what you feel is real to you, at this moment. But it is a first love.”
“So?”
“First love is special. But unfortunately, it is often founded on unstable ground and does not always last. I know that better than anyone. Mr. Latimer might seem to be all that is good and amiable today, but I urge you to tread carefully. He may not be the right man for you.”
Miss Fallbrook’s smile fled. She bit her lip. “How can I know if he is the right man for me?”
“By taking the time to get to know him better. Be patient. Give yourself a couple of years—”
The young lady gasped. “A couple of years ! But you got engaged after only two weeks!”
“Yes, but it didn’t work out, remember? And I was eighteen years old at the time.”
“Still. I can’t possibly wait two years .”
“You can and you must. You have so much to learn. Let me teach you. There is no rush. I see such great things ahead for you, Miss Fallbrook. If you and Mr. Latimer are meant to be together, you will know it in time.”
Miss Fallbrook averted her eyes again. “If you say so, Miss Taylor.”
“Patience is a virtue, my dear. You do not see it now, but one day, you will thank me for giving you this advice.” If only I had heeded Mrs. Phillips’s advice , Diana thought, I might not have had my own heart broken in those early years.
“Actually… that is another reason I’m here. To thank you for all the advice you have given me and all you’ve taught me. And…” She held out her sketchbook. “I wanted to give you this.”
“Your sketchbook? I cannot take that.”
“It’s one of my old ones. I have the new one you gave me for Christmas. I know you like my art, Miss Taylor. I’d like you to have it.”
“Well then, I shall accept with grace. Thank you.” Diana wrapped her arms around her pupil, who returned the hug with vigor. When the embrace ended, Diana asked, “What are you going to do on this rainy day, since I am not to recommence lessons yet?”
“I thought I might… draw in my room,” Miss Fallbrook returned vaguely.
“An excellent plan.”
“What will you do, Miss Taylor?”
“I haven’t decided yet. But I will see you later.”
“Yes.” On her way out, Miss Fallbrook paused to glance back and added, “Thank you again, Miss Taylor. For everything you have done for me.”
There was a hint of finality about the remark that struck Diana as odd. Or, as she had done so many times of late, was she reading something that wasn’t there?
*
After Miss Fallbrook had left, Diana sat down at the lunch tray Ivy had left for her. The food was cold now, but Diana’s appetite had returned, and she was grateful for the nourishment.
As she ate, she pondered her next move.
Mr. Emity would disapprove of Diana’s decision to stay at Pendowar Hall. But she couldn’t leave now, not with so much at stake, and so much still undone.
Diana revisited their conversation in her mind. He had asked, for the second time, if she had spoken to Mrs. Gwynn, insisting that she knew this house and Sir Thomas better than anyone.
Ivy had also said something intriguing about Mrs. Gwynn:
“She and the baronet were… close, is all I’m saying. If she’d been a governess, Morwenna might have put an end to her, same as she tried to do to you.”
Diana had perceived the remark as just another example of Ivy’s superstitious nature. But she found herself wondering, again, if Mrs. Gwynn had been in love with Sir Thomas. If that were true, might it figure into all of this somehow?
Diana felt as if the answer to this riddle was dangling right in front of her nose, but she hadn’t grasped it. She had avoided Mrs. Gwynn as a rule because the woman always made her feel uncomfortable.
“That is no reason not to speak with her,” Mr. Emity had said. “You might be surprised at what you hear.”
Diana suddenly remembered where she’d heard that last phrase before. Mrs. Phillips, in one of her letters, had counseled Diana to listen more. It had proven to be good advice where Miss Fallbrook was concerned.
Perhaps , Diana thought, I haven’t listened hard enough.
*
Diana found the housekeeper downstairs in her sitting room. A hearty fire added warmth to the otherwise cheerless room.
“Mrs. Gwynn, may I speak with you?”
Grunting her assent, Mrs. Gwynn waved Diana into the empty chair across from her. “Thought I’d rest my feet a minute, seeing as how Captain Fallbrook’s away.”
A sharp pain speared Diana’s chest at the mention of the captain. “Where has he gone?”
“Don’t know. He just said he was going out, which is madness in this frightful weather. Would you like a cup of tea?”
“Yes, thank you.” Diana sat down.
“I’m glad to see you up and about.” Mrs. Gwynn’s features looked strained, and her voice lowered as she poured two cups of tea from an elegant porcelain teapot. “You were so ill. I—we—were all worried about you.”
It was the first time the housekeeper had spoken so cordially or expressed concern for Diana. To think that she’d almost had to die before the woman viewed her as a worthy human being! Better late than never, however. It might help with the conversation Diana had in mind.
“I understand that you watched over me while I was ill, Mrs. Gwynn. I wanted to thank you.”
“It’s part of my job.”
“All the same, I’m grateful.”
The housekeeper shrugged. “You’re welcome.”
Diana took a sip of the hot brew. “This tea is excellent—just what the doctor ordered. And that is a lovely teapot.”
Mrs. Gwynn tenderly touched the teapot with a nostalgic smile. “It were Sir Thomas’s favorite. Always wanted his tea served from this pot. I like to borrow it now and then.”
It felt like the perfect lead in. “You served Sir Thomas a long time, did you not Mrs. Gwynn?”
“Came to this house at age eighteen as a housemaid and never left.”
“Is that when you and Sir Thomas met? ”
She nodded. “His father, the old baronet, used to call Thomas his baronet-in-training. Took him everywhere. To London, to meetings with his steward, to call on all the tenants and such. When the old man passed, Sir Thomas were still young, but he took over as smooth as glass. Loved Pendowar Hall, he did, and served it well to the end of his days.”
“You have great affection for Sir Thomas.”
Her voice softened again, and a faraway look came into her eyes. “Best master that ever was.”
“And yet, I have heard that he could be a harsh, uncompromising man.”
“That only happened after… after he lost his second wife and son. You should have seen him before that, Miss Taylor. He were everything upright and good. Such a handsome man, and such a smile! When he walked into a room, he quite took it over. You couldn’t look anywhere but at him.” She fell silent and stared down at her teacup.
“Mrs. Gwynn… I know we call you ‘missus,’ but… did you ever marry?” Diana asked, aware that “Mrs.” was often an honorific title for women in the housekeeper’s position.
“No, I never did.”
“Did you ever think of marrying?”
The housekeeper’s cheeks bloomed pink. “I might have, once or twice. But I was that fond of… of Pendowar Hall. I didn’t want to leave.”
“Was it the house you were fond of?” Diana asked gently. “Or was it Sir Thomas?”
The question seemed to startle Mrs. Gwynn. “I don’t know what you mean.”
“Ivy told me that you and the baronet were very close.”
Mrs. Gwynn glanced up sharply. “Ivy said that?”
“She also said if you had been a governess, you would have fallen victim to the Mermaid’s Curse. Which can only mean one thing. Did you love him, Mrs. Gwynn?”
The housekeeper’s teacup dropped to its saucer with a clatter. “Who do you think you are to ask such impertinent questions?”
Diana paused. Had she gone too far? “Forgive me,” she said quickly. “I did not mean to upset you.” If Mrs. Gwynn had loved Sir Thomas, only to watch him marry two other women, it must have broken her heart. Diana was no stranger to heartbreak. Perhaps she ought to try another tactic.
“I only asked because I thought we might have something in common. I loved two men—or thought I did—but they betrayed me in one way or another.” She related the story of her failed romances.
“The rascals!” exclaimed Mrs. Gwynn. “But it’s their loss, Miss Taylor, not yours. Those men don’t know what they gave up. You have a goodness about you. I’ve seen how you are with Miss Fallbrook. I didn’t think you’d last a fortnight, and yet here you still are. You’ve done more for that girl than all her previous governesses put together.”
“It means a lot to hear you say that.”
“I’ve seen a change in the captain as well. He’s a happier man for knowing you.”
Diana stared down at the tabletop. Was that change what Mr. Emity had been referring to? “If there ever was anything between me and Captain Fallbrook—it is over.”
“Is that why he stomped out the door this morning with a face as grave as death? Well, I suppose it’s for the best, given the Mermaid’s Curse and all.” With a sigh, she refilled their teacups. They sipped in silence for some minutes. At length, she said, “You’re right, you know.”
“About what?”
“About Sir Thomas.” The housekeeper leaned back in her chair and glanced up at the ceiling. Taking two long, shaky breaths, she murmured, “Lord forgive me, but I did love him. And he loved me. ”
Diana’s pulse quickened. “When did it start?”
“The moment we first set eyes on each other. It were my first day at Pendowar Hall. He were twenty-seven then—nine years older than me and as handsome as could be. I were setting a fresh pitcher of water on his dresser and he walked in and… that were that.”
Diana’s mind worked on the implications. “You had a love affair?”
She nodded, her face flushing an even brighter shade of pink. “Thomas said his father would never allow a union between us, and he couldn’t go against him. I didn’t care. As long we could be together now and then, it were enough for me. For many years, it were pure heaven. But then Thomas’s father died, and he still said we couldn’t marry. I were a servant, he said. He were the new baronet. What would the world think? It wouldn’t be right. We should just go on as we were. And so, we did for five or six more years, until I…” She frowned. Her eyes grew misty.
“Until?” Diana suddenly guessed where this was going. Delicately, she asked, “Did you have a child by him?”
Mrs. Gwynn bit her lip and nodded. “I never told him. How could I? He’d said time and again that he would never marry me. Every woman I knew in service who got in the family way was sacked on the spot. I couldn’t take that risk. But I couldn’t raise a child on my own, either. How would we live? So, I went away for six months, said I must care for a sick relation. And—” A sob escaped her throat. “I left my baby to be raised by another.”
“Oh! How difficult that must have been.”
“You can’t imagine it if you’ve no child of your own. But it fair broke my heart.” Mrs. Gwynn wiped tears from her eyes. “I came back to Pendowar Hall and became the housekeeper. I worked hard and tried not to think about the child I gave away. Soon after that… he met and married the first Lady Fallbrook.”
“Miss Fallbrook’s mother?”
Mrs. Gwynn nodded. “His first wife were the daughter of a wealthy gentleman, a good woman of his own class, and they seemed to be a good match. I thought, That’s it. He’s done with me now. I weren’t bitter about it. I knew our relationship would have to end someday. But marriage or no, things went right back to the way they’d been between us.”
“Did his wife know?”
“I don’t think so. We were discreet. We met in the woodshop—there be a room in back with a little bed, where he slept sometimes. When Miss Emma were born, and the first Lady Fallbrook died, Thomas came to me for comfort and I were proud to give it to him. But having married once, I think he grew accustomed to it. When Miss Emma was five, she outgrew her nanny, and he hired her first governess: Miss Corbett. Pretty as a picture, she was. I warned him to keep his distance—the Mermaid’s Curse and all—but did he listen? No. He fell head over heels. Said she made him feel young again, and he couldn’t live without her. But Miss Corbett were the daughter of a seamstress and a blacksmith with only a few years of schooling behind her.” The housekeeper scoffed bitterly. “She barely qualified to be a governess.”
“And yet, he married her.”
“All that claptrap about it being beneath him to marry a servant, and she were no better than me! ‘We can carry on like always,’ he told me. ‘She’ll never know.’ Oh, how I wanted to say no , Miss Taylor. To walk away from this house and never come back. But where could I go? This was my home. And I still loved him.”
Diana nodded, an ache in her throat. “I understand.”
Mrs. Gwynn’s tone deepened as she went on. “The thought of them together made me so angry, I could see red. More governesses came and went as the years went by, all of them frustrated by Miss Emma. But Miss Corbett were now Lady Fallbrook . And she were my mistress ! I had to do her bidding! Every time she gave me an order, I wanted to scratch her eyes out. When Master Robert were born, I thought of the child I’d been obliged to give away, and my heart broke all over again. Sir Thomas simpered over Master Robert like he were the most marvelous creature who’d ever drawn breath.” Her own breath came in gulps now, and her face turned purple. “Sometimes, I wanted to slap Thomas’s face and wring that little boy’s neck.”
Diana stifled a gasp. This was a side to the housekeeper that Diana had never seen. The words were all the more shocking by the venom with which they were spewed. “I can see where that… might have been difficult to bear.”
“It fair near killed me.”
“So… what did you do?”
Mrs. Gwynn pressed her lips together. “ Do ? What could I do? I kept my head down and I carried on. And then one day, Lady Fallbrook and Master Robert died.”
Diana’s stomach knotted and her mind reeled from the vehemence Mrs. Gwynn had just expressed. However, part of her understood it. How difficult it must have been for Mrs. Gwynn to see the man she loved marry twice, while continuing to see her on the sly , Diana thought. And how awful that Mrs. Gwynn had been obliged to give up her child at birth . It appeared that the housekeeper had never gotten over it.
And who could blame her? Diana couldn’t imagine the agony of such a separation. Had Mrs. Gwynn ever seen her child over the years? Diana was about to ask, but their conversation was cut short when the kitchen maid, Bessie, darted in crying and announcing that she’d cut her finger.
Mrs. Gwynn instantly rose to see to it.
Diana took her leave, rattled and full of questions.