Chapter 22
Twenty-Two
What was worse than attending a wedding with a woman who wasn’t your wife and two kids who were slowly wrapping you around their fingers? Easy, attending a wedding by yourself.
“Come with me to the wedding. It’ll get the girls out of the house. It’ll be nice.” Chris had smiled, hoping Erykah could sense how much he wanted her company.
“ I think it’s best if we stay here. We don’t want to bother your friends more than we already have.”
“They could be your friends too,” he’d offered.
“I’m fine with how my life is now.”
That last comment had sunk his stomach faster than an anvil in an ocean. He didn’t know what happened on her night walk the other day, but ever since, she’d been pulling away. Pulling back from their movie sessions, from random texts throughout their day, and from those moments they’d been having that had been laced with more but remained unspoken. Like that almost kiss.
He blew out a breath. In a short while, Chris would watch Tucker and Piper exchange vows, and he had to do so knowing he was truly the fifth wheel in the group. Erykah wasn’t an option, not with all that was on her plate. If he could accept the fact, maybe the pressure weighing his breaths down would ease.
He made his way down the white aisle to a seat on the groom’s side. The sun shone, and the absence of clouds reminded him of another wedding—and how there had been no pronouncement of husband and wife. Instead of angst, he felt only irritation that he’d stayed in a relationship longer than necessary. But you gave your word.
He swallowed. Today wasn’t about him or the fact he was here alone. Today, he’d celebrate Tuck and Piper, then go back home to the girls. For however long they’d be there. Maybe he should’ve offered to bring the kids with him and give Erykah a break.
No. She said she wanted you to have the break.
But in the short amount of time that Erykah and the girls had been staying with him, his heart seemed to have synced to theirs. Was Ash giggling over a face Cheye made? Did Erykah finally sign Cheye up for kindergarten, or would she put her in the hospital daycare? And Erykah Kennedy...
Well, there were too many thoughts for Chris to sort through, like how soft her cheek had felt against his palm.
Instrumental music pierced the air, and the attendees stood. Chris glanced at Tuck, who had a sappy grin on his face. Chris would’ve laughed if it weren’t for the awed expression on Piper’s face as her dad walked her down the aisle. As much grief as Chris liked to give Tuck for keeping his feelings hidden for so long, he couldn’t deny that the wait seemed to be worth it for both of them.
He listened as the officiant led them through the vows, ring exchange, and then finally...
“It is my honor to introduce you to Mr. and Mrs. Hale.”
Chris clapped with the rest of the guests as he stood. He gave Tuck a slight punch to the arm as they passed down the aisle. His friend glanced over his shoulder with a grin. If Chris remembered correctly, the newlyweds would be doing pictures after the ceremony. They’d even asked Chris to participate, despite his absence from the limited wedding party.
“Hey, man. You look lost in thought.” Lamont patted Chris on the back of his shoulder.
He pushed away the loneliness beckoning to him. Just because Erykah hadn’t come didn’t mean Chris was truly alone. Besides, he tried to live a life of singleness with gratitude, believing God had saved him from what would’ve been the wrong marriage. Pull it together, Gamble.
“Yeah, a little.” Chris turned to the movie star. “Guess you’re next.” He forced his mouth upward. But what’s in store for me, Lord?
“I can’t wait.” A huge grin covered Lamont’s face. “I’d say yes today if I could.”
“Really? Nothing about marriage scares you?” They moved to the arbor set up to the side like an outdoor photobooth.
“Of course it does. I’m human. But my fears stem from my inadequacies rather than any issue with Nevaeh. I wholeheartedly believe she’s the right woman for me, but I’m worried I’ll fail her when it matters most.”
Chris could understand that. Right now he wondered if he’d failed Erykah by not convincing her that she had a place here. Would she retreat into her shell once more or, worse, go away?
He swallowed. “How do you think you’ll fail Nevaeh?”
“Being the spiritual leader in our home.” Lamont shrugged. “Sometimes I feel like I’m not good enough in my own faith walk.”
“Man, that’s the enemy talking. I know for a fact you’re in the Word every day. You pray multiple times a day. You make sure to rest once a week. You seek God’s wisdom often.” Lamont was a great example of discipline. Chris had no doubt he’d be on his knees for the duration of his marriage.
“I do do those things.” Lamont slowly nodded.
“Then trust that God will equip you to be the leader of your family. Trust you know what to do if a trial comes against you, your marriage, or whatever.” He nudged Lamont with his elbow. “God’s been showing you how to walk with Him in your singleness so you’d be prepared for leading another in marriage.”
He sighed. “Pretend I didn’t say this, but I feel better now.”
Chris laughed. Telling another guy what you felt inside wasn’t always easy. But Tuck and Lamont always kept it real and made vulnerability easier to swallow. Tell him what you’re dealing with. Only right now wasn’t about him.
He clapped a hand on Lamont’s shoulder. “You’ll be just fine, young buck.”
Lamont laughed. “Oh man, that sounds like something they’d say in those 1970s TV shows.”
“Way to make a man feel old,” he groused, but he wasn’t offended.
“Middle age isn’t so bad, is it?”
Chris thought about it. “Actually, it’s really not. I’m at a place in my life that I’m mostly content.”
“Mostly, huh? Is that why you looked introspective when I walked up?”
“Yes.”
“Thinking about Erykah?”
“Something like that.” Chris slid his hands into his pockets. With just that one question, all the thoughts he’d managed to ignore while focusing on Lamont came hurtling like a battering ram.
“Want to talk about it?”
Did he? Chris rubbed his chin, jolting at the smooth skin. He’d forgotten the clean shave he’d done for the wedding. “I feel like she’s pulling away, and I don’t know why. Is it grief? Something more?”
“Is she snapping at you, or has she gone silent?”
“Mostly silence. Sometimes I think my help has been more hurt.”
Skepticism drew Lamont’s brows downward. “How can that be true? Didn’t you say she started reading the Bible and seeking God?”
“Yes.”
“Then looks like you’re helping.” Lamont gave him a point-blank stare. “Remember that grief looks different on everyone. She may not be able to articulate what she needs from you. She’s been through so many changes since she met you.”
He was right. Chris had been so struck by her show of strength that he forgot that was sometimes another defense mechanism. Inside, she may be curling up ready to wave a white flag of surrender. “I should’ve known better,” Chris murmured.
Lamont arched an eyebrow, but before he could say anything, the photographer called out to them. She gestured for them to join Tuck, Piper, and Nevaeh at the arbor. Lamont took his place next to his fiancée and Chris stood at the end of the happy couples. When the photographer said, “Cheese,” Chris pasted on the brightest smile he could manage.
His phone buzzed in his pocket, and he itched to check it. Was it Erykah? A YouTube notification? Did Cameron need something back at the center? Whatever it was would have to wait until his cheeks could resume their normal position on his face.
As soon as they were excused from pictures and allowed to head to the reception, Chris had his phone out, scanning the many text messages.
Erykah
A polar bear’s hair is not white. It’s colorless.
Erykah
A chameleon’s tongue is as long as its body.
Erykah
The lion has the loudest roar.
Erykah
Water bears exist.
He laughed at that last one. Why was Erykah texting him random animal facts?
Chris
Are you looking up animal facts for Cheye?
Erykah
No. She actually asked me to text you them. She found Wild Kratts on streaming and has been glued to the screen. I’m thankful because she was complaining of being bored earlier.
That made sense. He didn’t think the good doctor suddenly cared about every animal on the planet. Though she liked to pretend she wasn’t curious, he’d seen her teaching Charlie tricks and taking interest in Chris’s own work.
Chris
Maybe read her one of the library books you checked out.
Erykah
She refused.
Chris
Build her a fort?
Ery kah
How?
Had she never had the opportunity to do so? He knew her childhood hadn’t been the best, but somehow her missing out on blanket forts saddened him. Chris searched the internet for a good video, then sent the link to her.
Chris
Here’s how to do it. You can use your blankets, and there are some more in the closet next to the guest room. You have free rein of all the house amenities.
Erykah
I’ll text you the results.
Chris
Please do.
He tucked his cell back into his interior pocket.
“You look happy,” Piper said, coming up to give him a side hug.
“And you look beautiful, Ms. Piper.” Her gown was simple in its design, but the pure joy on her face brought to mind the old adage of the person making the clothes, not the clothes making the person.
“Thanks,” she said. “I’m so glad you came out. I know you probably wanted to be near Erykah and the girls.”
Understatement. “They could stand to have me out of their hair.” But the thought choked him up. Was he holding them back? He’d promised to be there for Erykah, but what if she didn’t want him to be?
Déjà vu.
“I’m sure they miss you.”
“Well, I miss them.”
“I wanted to tell you to give Erykah my number. I’m not sure if she needs or wants another friend, but I’d happily be one.”
“Th anks. I’ll give her your number.” Piper was a loyal friend to have, and Erykah would be blessed to have her in her corner.
“How is she doing? The girls?”
“About as well as can be expected. Cheye has a hard time and throws tantrums regularly. But I’m sure a lot of kids would throw them for less. Ash is fussy, though I think she’s beginning to adjust.” Probably didn’t have to fight memories as hard as Cheye and Erykah were.
“I’ll keep praying for y’all.”
“Appreciate that.”
Tuck stepped up next to Piper, placing a kiss on her cheek. “Thought I’d come ask my wife to dance.”
She grinned. “I’m all yours.”
Tuck guided her to the dance floor, and a song came on that had them both grinning and melting into each other’s arms.
Chris was thankful he was going home on a flight tomorrow. As glad as he was to be here, the absence of Erykah was stark in the midst of the love fest. The only question was, Would she be happy he was under the same roof once more, or would she want more space?