Chapter 26
Twenty-Six
Chris stared out into the night sky. He drew in a deep breath, then slowly let out the air, willing the band holding his head in a vice grip to let go. With each deep breath, tension seeped out of his upper back. However, the tension squeezing his brain wouldn’t recede. How long would it take the over-the-counter meds to kick in? It had been a while since he’d had a headache this bad.
The sound of a doorknob turning broke through his relaxation attempts. He eyed the door as it opened. Erykah stepped out into the backyard and gave him a sympathetic look.
“Your turn for some air?”
“Something like that.”
She sighed and sat on the vacant seat next to him. “I’m sorry. We’ve taken up so much of your space and turned your home into a whirlwind. It’s no wonder you need peace.”
“Don’t.” He shook his head, barely hiding a wince. “You know I’d do it all over again. There’s no way I wouldn’t be here for you.” Being away from them while he’d seen Tuck and Piper marry had proven that much. And it had also shown him his fear was Erykah wouldn’t be there for him.
Her brown eyes studied him, as if he were DNA under a microscope. “You have a headache.”
“Uh...” Not what he’d expected her to say. “I do.”
“Feels like your head is in a boa constrictor’s death grip?”
He snorted. “Oddly specific.”
“You’re an animal guy. I’d figured you’d know exactly what I meant.”
Cute. “You’re right, so I do get it.”
“Okay. Time for Dr. Erykah to fix you up.” She rubbed her hands together with a mischievous grin plastered on her beautiful face.
Why does she have to be so breathtaking even when teasing me? “What are you going to do?” he asked suspiciously. He had to act normal, whatever she had in store. He couldn’t let on to his growing feelings.
She rolled her eyes in the same fashion Cheye often did. “I’m going to get rid of your headache.” She came to stand behind his chair. “Do you trust me?”
“Of course.” Without a doubt. Erykah wouldn’t hurt him ... intentionally . It wasn’t in her nature.
“Good. Lean back.”
Chris did as he was told, startled when his head met the softness of her puffer jacket. He tensed, waiting for instructions.
“Relax,” she murmured.
How could he when this was the first time they’d been so close, besides the occasional comfort hug here or there?
Her warm hands glided down his face, and his eyes closed instinctively. The pads of her fingertips trailed up the sides of his face and settled at the temples. She began making circular motions with the softest touch. Relief crept into his temples, into his whole body. His shoulders dropped from his ears.
As Erykah’s fingers rotated in circles, she slowly increased the pressure. A low moan left his lips before he could contain it. Her hands paused.
“Did that hurt?”
“Complete opposite.” How was his headache already easing away?
She continued the massage.
Chris wasn’t sure how long she worked on his temples, but by the time she stopped and stepped back, his head felt like jelly—in the best of ways.
“Thank you so much.” Chris stretched his neck left, then right, a satisfying crack sounding at each point.
“That’s gross.” Erykah faked a shudder as she sat back in her chair.
“Are you telling me the orthopedic surgeon can’t handle a little neck cracking?” He smirked.
“I can’t stand to hear knuckles cracking either.” She shuddered again. “The sound incites the same reaction as nails on chalkboard.”
“Yet I’m pretty sure you drilled a hole through Tuck’s bone.”
“Couldn’t be helped.” She smiled prettily.
Chris laughed, thankful when the action didn’t set his head off again. “What are the girls up to?”
“Bed. The house has complete silence if you want to sit somewhere warm.” She tugged her jacket closer around her.
Here he was enjoying the balmy temps with just a sweater. Granted, his headache had made him feel overly warm.
“Is it too cold out here for you?”
“Nah.” She shook her head as if she hadn’t just exhibited a sign of being cold. “It’s only forty degrees. We’ll talk about cold when it drops into the twenties with that howling win d. Then I want to take a page out of Baloo’s book and hibernate.”
“Baloo?” He blinked, trying to figure out why that name sounded familiar.
“ Jungle Book ?”
“Right. ‘Bear Necessities.’”
“Exactly.”
“What made you think of that movie?” He hadn’t seen that since he was a kid.
“The girls were watching it after dinner. They love the live animation makeover.”
He’d been hiding in his room then, hoping the headache would go away. You missed movie time. Couldn’t you have been in pain some other time? “Wait? What?” Erykah’s comment about live animation caught his attention.
“Do you live under a rock?” Erykah’s mouth dropped. “All the great movies of our childhood are getting remade with real people and everything.”
He vaguely recalled that. “I don’t stream a lot of movies.” He’d rather be outdoors.
“I know. Remember Cheye’s meltdown when she discovered you didn’t have Disney Plus?”
“She’s terrifying.” He rubbed the back of his neck.
They shared a look. “Truly,” Erykah conceded, “but I love her.” A soft smile graced her lips. “I never imagined loving her more than I already did.”
They were silent for a moment. Chris wondered how the dynamic would change when his mom came to town. Would Erykah go into hiding in the basement? Would the girls like his mom? Would he ? He couldn’t remember the last time they’d celebrated a holiday together.
“My mom is coming to town in a couple of days.”
“Right. Thanksgiving.” Sadness filled her voice.
Lor d, help me help her. I can’t imagine how hard this holiday will be. “Do you want me to take her out for dinner? Give you and the girls some space?”
“No. Please. I don’t really want to spend the holiday alone.” Pleading filled her eyes.
“Then you won’t. However, I do have to apologize in advance for anything my mom says.”
Her eyes gleamed. “Will she embarrass you? Tell stories of you as a kid?”
“More like lament my bachelor ways and try to plan our wedding.”
The smile fell right off Erykah’s face. Ouch. Did she have to look so horrified at the thought? Chris rushed to explain. “I haven’t dated in years. My mom is always asking me about when I’ll find someone new. The fact that you’re staying here with the girls might have her thinking something more is going on than just a friend helping a friend.”
“How long?”
How long for what? “What do you mean?”
“You said you hadn’t dated in years. Quantify that for me.”
Yikes. Why had she narrowed in on that? “Um. Thirteen.”
“ Thirteen? ” Erykah’s eyes bugged out.
Chris prepared himself for her follow-up questions. He’d hinted at his past to Lamont and Chris, but not even they knew the full scope.
“What happened?” Erykah asked.
“She left me standing at the altar.”
“As in she didn’t show up at all, or she was there, then changed her mind?”
“You want the whole story?”
“If you don’t mind sharing it.”
He closed his eyes for a second, remembering that day and the events that led up to the end of it all. He sat up in his chair and turned his gaze to Erykah. “I met Tracey in college.”
“Was it love at first?”
Chris shook his head. “Not at all. I thought she was out of my league. She was a year ahead of me and went to school on a cheerleading scholarship. I admired her looks but didn’t really know a lot about her.”
“Then what happened?”
“We ended up in the same science class my sophomore year. She was struggling with the material, and the professor asked if I would tutor her. So I did.”
“Oh, a nerd-jock romance?”
Chris cocked his head. “Do you read romance books, Dr. Kennedy?”
“Maybe.” Her face flushed. “Ellynn actually liked them a lot. She’d leave different ones all over our apartment when I was in college. One day when I was stressed over an exam, she put one in my face and told me to chill out.”
“It worked?”
“Yep. I read those sweet ones that give off Hallmark vibes, maybe one a month. I’m selective, so it takes me a long time to choose.”
He liked knowing that about her.
“Back to your story.” She pulled her legs up underneath her, her attention rapt on his face.
“We started talking in between classes. I expected her to ignore me and pretend she didn’t have a tutor, but she said hi the next time we ran into each other in one of the student cafeterias. Then she started emailing me in between tutoring sessions. Just random items that interested her, but they had a joking undertone. Then, with the urging of one of my classmates, I asked her out.”
He paused. “Oddly, we fit. She was popular, I wasn’t. But we could stay up all night talking and laughing. She encouraged my dreams, and we dated until I graduated from college.” He swallowed. “I proposed graduation night, and she said yes.”
“So that made you, what, twenty-two?”
“Right.”
“But you said thirteen years?”
“She didn’t want to get married right away.” He shrugged. Now he could see that was a red flag, but then, he’d thought she was just really cautious with their future. “I had plans for grad school, and she had another year left in her own program. We both agreed we’d set a date when I graduated with my master’s degree.
“When she graduated, she moved to Utah. We talked every night on the phone and took turns visiting each other. When I graduated, I got a job near her, but she still wasn’t ready to have the wedding. It wasn’t until all of her friends started to get married that she finally wanted to settle down. By that time, Tracey wanted to move back to Colorado as well.”
And his own doubts had begun to surface. But being engaged for so long had caused its own form of self-doubt. Were his feelings simply because they’d waited so long to plan the wedding? Or were his feelings valid? He’d never talked to her about it, and he should’ve.
“So did you?”
He nodded. “It took a year to plan our wedding and get new jobs, but we did it. We settled in Denver, and I was excited we were finally taking steps forward.” Despite his apprehensive thoughts. “But then she started picking fights. There seemed to be no rhyme or reason to them. Every time I asked if she was okay, she would apologize, blame it on a bad mood, then promise to be better. Claimed she was turning into a bridezilla.”
Chr is had desperately wanted to believe the lie. Didn’t want all their years together to have been a waste, even though God was showing red flag after red flag. He never truly consulted the Lord about his feelings, just tried to work everything out on his own so he could say he kept his word. He winced inwardly and glanced at Erykah.
She bit her lip as if nervous where the story would go. Since she already knew he’d been dumped, it really couldn’t get that much worse, in his opinion.
“This continued until the night before the wedding. We had the worst fight ever. She said some things that really shook me and made me want to call the whole thing off.”
“But you didn’t?”
“No. I’d made a commitment and wanted to see it through.” Stupid, stupid, stupid.
Erykah blew out a breath. “But she changed her mind?”
“Everything was fine until she was walking down the aisle. It was like a bad version of Runaway Bride .”
“She ran?” Erykah gasped, placing a hand over her heart.
“Tore up the aisle trying to get away. Her bridesmaids chased after her, but it was a lost cause. She was a really fast runner.” He could see the humor in it now, but back then...
“I’m so sorry.”
So was he. He should’ve gone with his gut instinct and called things off the night before. But he’d been afraid of what the guests would say, of being accused of going back on his word.
“The whole mess showed me I couldn’t trust myself in the relationship department. I’ve been too chicken to try again since then.”
“Or maybe you just needed time to heal.”
“Thirteen years’ worth?” His brows raised.
Erykah shrugged. “Could be. Besides, who am I to judge?”
“Go ahead. I’m sure many people would.”
“No.” Erykah shook her head. “I meant what I said quite literally. I’ve never dated, so I have no right to judge someone in that area.”
Had he heard her right? “You’ve never been on a date?”
“Never.”
“But you’re so smart! Not to mention gorgeous. How come a guy hasn’t asked?” And did those comments sound ridiculous now that he’d voiced them out loud?
“Oh, I didn’t say I’ve never been asked. I said I’ve never been on a date.” She paused, a look of concentration on her face. “Growing up with parents who were addicts made me crave stability. Studying for school to get good grades to get into med school to have a reliable job was vital to me. Taking care of Ellynn until she graduated from high school and giving her a stable environment was essential, because I didn’t have that when I was growing up. Once I devoted myself to my career, I figured my job was too unpredictable in the beginning to start a relationship. There just never seemed to be a right time to jump into the pool.”
Chris wanted nothing more than to ask her out. The words were on the tip of his tongue, except now she was grieving the loss of her family.
Still not the right time.