The Nature of Love (Love in the Spotlight #3)

Chapter 29

Twenty-Nine

Yesterday’s events wouldn’t leave my mind. Even as I came into work, signed on to my computer, and responded to emails, the imprint of Chris’s warmth surrounding me like the very best electric blanket on a winter’s day kept replaying in my mind. That one moment had inexplicably tethered me to the man.

I didn’t know whether to cheer over that or cry.

Probably cry because when I’d taken the chance to tell him exactly what that meant to me, he’d evaded. He’d brought up mealtime and then left my room. But why?

I thought we were having a moment. I thought he liked me ... even if his feelings were only a smidgen of mine.

Now I found myself on my lunch break, staring at Piper Hale’s number in my contacts. Could I reach out to her without it being awkward? Would I sound inept just like every time I attempted to talk with my coworkers socially?

Just give it a try. Isn’t being in your forties supposed to free you from being shy?

I had no idea, but maybe it would be better to text instead of call. The thought immediately relieved the stress mounting in my gut.

Erykah

Hi. This is Erykah. Chris told me I could reach out.

Piper

Hey, Doc! I’m so glad you did. I’ve been thinking about you and praying for God to bring you comfort.

I bit my lip as tears smarted. How could a woman who was practically a stranger take the time to pray for me? That made no sense, but then again, I’d seen Chris do the same thing.

Erykah

I appreciate that.

Piper

Can I call you? Is that okay, or are you busy doctoring?

A chuckle escaped before I even recognized the sound. When was the last time I’d genuinely laughed at something?

Erykah

Yes, please.

The phone immediately rang.

“Hello?” I winced. Okay, so maybe answering the phone like I didn’t know who it was wasn’t the smartest thing to do. But that’s what people who grew up before caller ID do.

“Hey, Erykah. Hope it’s okay to call. I know some people don’t like talking on the phone.”

Pretty much, but I was willing to try. “No, it’s fine. I’m on my lunch break.”

“How’s house hunting?”

“Terrible.” I let out a groan. “Nothing fits right. It’s either too far away from my work or in an awful school district. Meanwhile, Cheyenne hasn’t started kindergarten, and I d on’t know if that means I’ll have to homeschool her after all or hold her back a year.” Though Colorado didn’t mandate kindergarten attendance, I still felt like I was restricting her by keeping her from going. But Ellynn was homeschooling her, so there wasn’t a vast difference, other than the fact I wasn’t actively teaching her anything. At least she learned about animals when at work with Chris.

“Why don’t you call a school in Chris’s school district and see if there’s a time limit on enrolling her? That might make your decision easier.”

“I had the same thought. I’m not sure why I haven’t yet.” I scribbled a reminder on a sticky note—that way I wouldn’t procrastinate any longer.

“Also, I’d love to talk to you about God sometime ... if you want, that is.”

“Actually, that would be lovely.” Should I tell her I’d prayed the salvation prayer? My face heated up. Would she think a simple prayer in my office inadequate? “Do you pray like you’re talking to a friend like Chris does?” Maybe I could ease into the conversation.

Piper laughed. “More like whine like I’m talking to a parent. I love that you’ve seen Chris pray. He seems like he’s pretty secretive. Not like in a bad way, just that he doesn’t let others get to know him very well.”

I had that thought before as well, but now that I did know him better, I realized he was being protective of all parties involved when he finally did share. What did it mean that he’d shared things with me he hadn’t with his other friends?

“Can I ask...” I bit my lip. Maybe I better not.

“Ask anything. Go ahead.”

“How long have you known Chris?”

“A couple of years. Why?” Piper paused. “Are you ... int erested in him?” Her voice held a girlish quality, as if she were holding back her glee.

I don’t know why that amused me, but it did. When I allowed myself to think of Chris like that, I wanted to act like a teenager myself.

“Define interest.” I played innocent. Who knew if this conversation would circle back to him.

“Look, whatever you tell me stays with me. Just because I’ve known Chris longer doesn’t mean I’ll go running to him. That’s not how I work, nor does Nevaeh, if you choose to invite her into our conversations.”

“How can a perfect stranger want to meet me?” I asked. I thought Chris mentioning Nevaeh was just a nicety, but hearing Piper say it made me think otherwise.

“We don’t have a lot of friends, so we covet true friendships. Plus, she and I have been praying Chris meets the right woman. I actually mentioned you back when we went to a gala for the Derby. But I had no contact information for you. Imagine my surprise when I found out you were the woman Chris was flying to Kentucky with.”

Piper had thought I’d be a good fit for him? I had so many questions, but no clue what to actually ask.

“Are you still there?”

“I am.” I sighed. “I like him, Piper. But this whole living arrangement has made things awkward.” A light bulb flickered to life above my head. Oh man. I got it. That was what bothered Chris yesterday. We’d been in my room, lying on my bed, and he was someone who had religious morals. You do too. I wasn’t yet fully sure of all the ways God expected me to follow Him, but having a man in my bed seemed quite the opposite of His expectations.

My mouth dried.

I owed Chris an apology. Maybe he’d thought I was propositioning him when that was so not my intent. I squeezed my eyes shut as waves of embarrassment washed over me.

“I think Chris likes you as well. He’s a really, really good guy. If he hasn’t asked you out, it might be your living arrangement, like you already mentioned.”

“Then I need to find a new house as soon as possible.” Because I couldn’t put either of us in that situation again.

Piper laughed. “I’d offer to help, but I’d have no clue what to do from so far away.”

“Not to mention I need to sell Ellynn’s house.”

“I’m still willing to help with that,” she said. “I could go through the items in the house and figure out if you want them shipped to you or donated, or I could do an estate sale and get it all sold for you.”

“You’d really do all that?”

“I’d be happy to.”

“Yes, please.” I wrote that on the sticky note as well. “Now, if only the right place would flash like a neon sign when I scan real estate listings.” I shook my head. Like that was possible.

“You know,” Piper started, “the Bible does talk about wisdom. How if you ask God for it and believe Him, you’ll receive it. It’s in the book of James. I can text you the verse later. I know you’re exploring questions about Christianity, so feel free to ask me anything. I love talking about God.”

I opened my mouth to tell her about the salvation prayer but stopped. Even though we were getting to know each other, I wasn’t ready to divulge that information. “Thanks. I really appreciate it.”

We hung up, and I blew out a breath. It hadn’t been too awkward talking to her. It’d almost seemed like I’d known her for a while. What was it about Chris and his friends that made them genuinely welcome me? Was it the God thing?

My phone chimed, showing a text from Piper.

Piper

“If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind. For let not that man suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.” James 1:5–8

Erykah

Thank you.

I read the verses over and over. How could I ask God for wisdom when I had only just accepted He was real? And what did it mean to not doubt? Not doubt He heard? He’d answer? I sighed. The last thing I wanted was to be deemed unstable. The thing I actively ran from. Every decision I’d ever chosen was on the side of stability, not instability. Ever since I’d been old enough to realize my parents were addicts and not able to parent Ellynn and me as we needed.

“God?” I paused, wishing this didn’t feel so awkward. I believed He heard me, but why did my words have to feel so stilted? I drew in a steady breath, remembering how Chris prayed to Him. “Um, I need wisdom for where to live, what school Cheyenne should go to, and help removing any doubt that You won’t answer or help me.”

I winced. That sounded so bad, but I had to be honest. He’d shown me He listened, but I could still hear a voice telling me all the ways I’d been alone as a child. All the times I’d gone without. The hard days of parenting my sister before she graduated.

Speaking of honesty, maybe I just needed to tell Chris how I felt. Tell him I wasn’t trying to proposition him, but that I very much wanted to go on a date— after I moved. Then maybe this awkwardness between us would fade, and we could go back to before.

There’s no turning back. Ellynn and Asher are really gone.

I inhaled deeply, trying to keep the tears at bay. I didn’t want to cry at work.

My phone chimed, and I looked at my texts.

Chris

Want to go on a ski trip?

He always reached out at the right times.

Erykah

Skiing? With the girls?

I bit my lip as I waited for the dots to stop doing the wave and the words to appear.

Chris

Yep. Cheyenne is old enough to take lessons. We can put Ash in a baby sled.

Despite mending the bones of Olympic skiers, I’d never experienced the sport myself. Did I want to be out in the cold, going down the mountain, knowing people broke bones doing the same thing? Then again, I did want to do something with Chris, even if this wasn’t actually a date. But it sounds like one.

People don’t take their kids on dates.

Or did they, and I just didn’t know because I’d never had the care of small children before?

Erykah

I’ll look at my schedule.

I p ulled up my calendar. The week before Christmas and week of Christmas were already blocked off with the note Fun with Ellynn and fam!

My eyes watered. Could I go skiing, knowing Ellynn and Asher were missing out?

Maybe it’s the distraction you need.

I wasn’t sure of that, but what else did I have to look forward to? Making a decision, I sent my availability to Chris.

Chris

I’ll schedule everything, if that’s okay?

Erykah

As long as you know I’m paying.

Chris

Erykah...

Erykah

Chris!

Chris

Ok. Thank you.

Erykah

Easy when you just accept facts, isn’t it?

Chris

I laughed. We definitely needed to have a talk when I got back home.