30. April
Chapter 30
April
W e called it a night after the alcohol caught up with us. Anna was fast asleep on the sofa before I crawled into Gemma’s bed. The screech of the milk foamer echoes around the flat. I’m a foul mess without my morning caffeine fix. Anna are I are seated at Gemma’s small table pushed up against the kitchen wall as she makes us coffee.
“Here, love,” Gemma says, handing me a freshly brewed cup. I raise an eyebrow as I glance down at the foam art.
“It’s a penis,” she says.
“I can see that.”
She points. “See? That’s the semen.”
“Lovely.”
Her face lights up, clearly pleased with her artwork.
Gemma used to work as a barista at Café Nero when she was studying, and her foam art is always a wild card.
Anna lifts her cup to mine, shaking her head. “What the fuck, Gemma? She gets a penis, and I get a vagina that looks like a dropped sandwich?”
She’s not wrong—it really does look a bit tragic. I lean forward, peering into Gemma’s cup. “And what about you? What masterpiece have you got?” I ask.
Anna leans over to inspect it too. “A leaf,” Gemma replies.
Anna raises an eyebrow before muttering, “Of course you give yourself something pretty.”
After a few gulps of coffee, I head to the fridge and pull out eggs and bacon. Grabbing a loaf of sourdough, I slice three thick pieces and pop them in the toaster. I reach for two pans, drizzling each with a bit of oil before cracking the eggs and tossing in the bacon. The sizzling sound fills the kitchen, and the smell of crispy bacon hits us hard.
We’re all practically salivating. There’s nothing quite like a full English fry-up after a night on the piss.
We’re deep in chatter after our breakfast, laughing when the sound of my phone buzzing from the lounge grabs my attention. I pluck it off the table where I left it last night, swiping to open the message.
“Ugh.” I roll my eyes.
Anna notices and follows me to the sofa. “What is it?”
I spin my phone to show her the screen. Lucas .
I never replied to his message.
My heart stutters. Why does my body react like this? It’s like I’ve been conditioned to fall into disarray whenever his name pops up.
It’s pissing me off.
Anna reaches out, taking my free hand and rubbing her thumb gently over my knuckles.
“Hey,” she says, pulling me back to the present. “It’s alright. We’re both here. You don’t have to read anything you don’t want to, and if you do open the text, we’ll be right here next to you, yeah?”
“Thank you.”
Gemma strolls in and kneels in front of me while we sit on the sofa, her eyes flicking between Anna and me. “Lucas?” she asks, and Anna dips her chin in confirmation. Gemma’s gaze shifts to mine, “Would it make you feel better if we read the text for you?” she asks.
I nod. “Yes, please. I don’t think I can read it. I’m too jittery.”
“That’s completely fine,” Gemma reassures me, holding out her hand. I place the phone in her palm. Her eyes scan the message briefly before she reads aloud. “‘ Are you free today? I’d love to grab a coffee and have a chat .’”
“Do you want to see him?” Anna asks. I pause.
As confused and pissed off as I am, there’s a part of me, as much as I hate to admit it, that wants to hear what he has to say.
I haven’t seen him since his date at the Mayfair Lounge—where he had the balls to act as though I didn’t exist. I can’t imagine he’s looking to get back together.
Maybe it’s something else, something unrelated.
Could it be he’s missing Basil? My thoughts are in overdrive as I reach another possible conclusion—Caroline.
A pit forms in my stomach at the thought that something could be wrong with her. But if that were true, surely James would have known about it and told me.
“I don’t want to see him, not really,” I say. “But this is the second text he’s sent in two days. If he’s going to be persistent, I’d rather just get it over with than have this hanging over me.” I pause, bobbing my knees up and down. “But I’m terrified. If this is how my body reacts to a bloody text, I can’t even imagine how I’ll handle seeing him in person. What if I completely fall apart?”
My pulse spikes at the possibility of facing him again. The idea I might break down in front of him—of showing him that kind of vulnerability after everything—feels humiliating.
Gemma leans forward with a serious look on her face. “Of course you feel anxious. But, if you decide to meet him, don’t think about how he might see you—think about what you want to get out of it. If you cry, so what? He’s lucky you’re even giving him the time of day. He deserves a kick in the dick.”
“Yeah,” Anna says, jumping in. “Who gives a fuck what he thinks? If you cry, you cry. If you shit your pants, you shit your pants. But you’re seriously not giving yourself enough credit. You’re so much stronger than you think, April. And at the end of the day, it’s just a conversation. You don’t have to talk to him ever again after this if you don’t want to. But if hearing him out gives you closure, especially if you’re serious about James, then maybe it’s worth it. It’s a hurdle the two of you will have to jump sooner or later.”
She gives me a reassuring look, and I press my lips together, evaluating my options. She’s right. They both are. I definitely want to see James again. I need to make it right with him. As much as it’s awful that James and Lucas can barely stand each other, their strained relationship actually works in James’s and my favour. It’s not like I’ll have to deal with Lucas much if things move forward with James.
I comb my fingers through my tangled hair, smoothing out the kinks. I silently count down in my head, matching my breath to the rhythm, and slowly my heartbeat returns to its usual pace. I feel calmer now, more in control.
“I know it’s ridiculous, but if I’m going to see him today, I want to look good. He sought attention from so many beautiful women online, and it really messed with me … I want him to know what he lost, you know?”
“Gemma,” Anna says, her tone sharp with determination. “Hand me the phone.” She holds out her arm expectantly.
“What are you doing?” I ask, my voice rising with panic.
“I’m telling Fuggo that you’ll meet him today,” Anna replies. Gemma smirks knowingly at her as Anna takes the phone and starts typing. “And we’re going to help you look hot as shit.”
I’ve showered, spritzed dry shampoo for volume, and now Anna is curling my hair while I sit, trying not to fidget.
Gemma’s in her room, sifting through her wardrobe to find me an outfit. I’m just hoping she doesn’t come out with lingerie.
I’m meeting Lucas in an hour at the Daily Grind. If there’s one good thing that’s going to come out of this, it’s that I’ll at least get an almond croissant.
I’m focusing on the positives.
Months ago, the thought of meeting him would’ve had me buzzing with excitement. But now? I just want to get this over with. There’s no anticipation left, only a heavy feeling in my chest and a desire to move past whatever this is once and for all.
“Ah ha!” Gemma shouts excitedly from her room.
“You know she’s going to dress you like a hooker, right?” Anna says as she curls the last section of my hair.
I press my lips together to stop my laugh.
“I heard that!” Gemma calls out before marching into the bathroom, holding two sets of hangers aloft. “Alright, we’ve got two options. Option one: cute skirt and cropped top combo. Personally, I think your waist is killer , and this silk skirt is going to show it off. Plus, it’ll look super chic with the white trainers you wore here last night. Now, I don’t have much to work with in the footwear department because your feet are the size of surfboards, but I think it’ll do.”
She pauses, then lifts the second outfit. “Option two: this skintight midi. Again, all about that waist, and this one has the bonus of showing off that ass. Honestly, April, you could bounce a penny off that thing. I don’t know why you don’t show it off more. You could throw a denim jacket over it and wear the same shoes. Personally, I think they’re both solid choices.”
Anna narrows her eyes suspiciously, peering around Gemma’s arm. “What’s behind the dress?”
“Oh, this?” Gemma says with mock innocence, pulling out something black and lacy. “In case you were feeling frisky, I’ve also got this lace bodysuit and mini school skirt. You know, just throwing it out there. Could be a fun backup plan.” She shrugs.
“I’m not wearing lingerie to coffee with my ex-fiancé after sleeping with his brother,” I deadpan.
“ Slag ,” Anna says, coughing into her hand.
My mouth drops open, and I place a hand over my heart, feigning offense. “How dare you!” I say dramatically, but we all burst out laughing. I cut in with a mischievous grin. “Lucas was an ass guy. I think I’ll go with the dress and denim jacket … Anna, what do you think?”
She smirks, already knowing where I’m going with this. “Hell yeah, flaunt that ass and remind him exactly what he’s lost.”