The Paris Affair

6 Julia

6

Julia

June, 2002 – Bonn

‘How are you feeling?’ Sebastian said. He’d offered to drive Julia to the airport, so they were on the M25, motoring towards Gatwick.

Julia glanced at her hands. She’d finally confessed to Sebastian that the stiffness in her hands had happened before. He’d been very sympathetic and insisted she see a specialist in movement disorders, but checks had found no physical reason why her hands had failed her.

‘I’m okay, thanks,’ she said. ‘Trying not to dwell on it.’

Just the thought of that moment on stage made Julia want to retch. She turned towards the open window. The fresh air cooled her face.

‘I wish you weren’t going to Bonn,’ Sebastian said. ‘It feels like you’re running away.’ His fingers tightened around the steering wheel. ‘If you stayed, maybe I could help to sort the problem out.’

‘You’ve been amazing already.’ She turned towards him, an anxious smile on her face.

‘I could be more amazing, you know,’ he said.

He took his eyes off the road briefly and met her gaze. There was no denying how handsome he was. But Sebastian was one of the best managers around. She wasn’t going to risk losing him.

‘We’ve talked about this,’ she said. She thought they’d resolved things, but his words suggested otherwise. ‘I don’t know what happened in Madrid last year. You were so wonderful when Mum died, supporting me during that tour. But that kiss was a mistake. I thought you agreed?’

‘Not exactly, but I respected your wishes to keep it strictly business.’ He gave her a sidelong glance and raised his eyebrows. ‘However, it’s good to see you’re still focused on your career.’

‘If I still have a career after what happened,’ Julia said, hoping the subject of Madrid was closed. She needed Sebastian as a friend and manager right now.

Sebastian laughed. ‘Winner of the BBC Young Musician of the Year 1999, protégée of Christoph Baumann. Of course you have a career.’

Julia looked up at the shiny tiled roof and wooden shutters of Christoph’s house. The flight to Bonn had passed smoothly and now, at last, she was here. They’d organized the visit months ago, before Julia had gone off on tour. When she’d phoned Christoph a few days ago to confirm the arrangements, he’d sounded tired but pleased she was coming. He’d offered to pick her up from the airport, but Julia had told him it was no problem to get a taxi. She knew that he hated driving on the Autobahn nowadays.

She breathed in the scent of the roses growing in the front garden. It was a relief to put the last few weeks behind her. Seeing Christoph always calmed her.

He lived on the outskirts of the city, in the former diplomatic quarter, with its impressive villas and tranquil, leafy gardens. Peace. That’s what Julia needed. If peace was to be found anywhere, it would be here with Christoph.

She unlatched the gate and dragged her suitcase up the path. Sunlight dappled the ground. Just like it had in 1996.

Back then, she’d arrived flustered and anxious from the train station, over two hours late. She’d been looking after a little girl on the platform who had lost her mum, and a handsome stranger had stepped in to help them both. They’d taken care of the girl together, playing Hangman to ward off her tears until, eventually, her mum was found. The handsome stranger’s eyes and easy smile were still giving her butterflies when she’d appeared on Christoph’s doorstep. They were still giving her butterflies as she remembered it now.

That evening, back in 1996, Christoph’s wife, Hilde, had been stony-faced, but Christoph had made Julia feel welcome: showing her to the spare room, warming up some food in the microwave. She was just starting to settle in when the doorbell rang. ‘Ah,’ Christoph had said, ‘My son. He’ll have lost his keys again. Don’t worry, Hilde will get it.’

Now, her chest tightened. Nothing compared to the shock of seeing Daniel that day. He had been the handsome stranger from the train station, except all his friendliness was gone once he realized that Julia was his father’s latest piano protégée.

Julia gave the suitcase a sharp yank and pulled it on to the front step. Well, Daniel wasn’t here now, thank goodness.

Julia caught sight of Christoph through the bay window. He was sitting at the piano staring at her. He looked confused, as if he couldn’t place her. She leaned over and tapped on the glass. ‘It’s me,’ she mouthed. He got up and shuffled towards the door.

It didn’t make sense. Last year, he’d been the judge at a piano competition in Koln. They’d gone for dinner afterwards. He’d seemed his usual self. There was hardly any hint to his age, but somehow this felt different. Had he forgotten she was coming?

Christoph opened the front door. He wore slippers, tracksuit bottoms and a shirt that hadn’t been ironed. This was not the Christoph she knew.

‘Is everything all right? You look like you’ve seen a ghost,’ Julia said.

At the sound of her voice, his gaze cleared and he smiled.

‘Oh, Entschuldigung . Julia, what a pleasure to see you. My eyesight’s not what it used to be. Just now, seeing you come up the path, I thought it was someone I knew from long ago. You always did remind me of someone.’ He waved the thought away. ‘Come in.’

The music room was unrecognizable. A bed had been made up on the sofa. The air smelled musty. Books and newspapers lay strewn across the floor. Even the Schimmel piano was covered in dust and piles of papers.

Christoph lowered himself into a chair and propped his stick against the bookshelf.

‘It’s wonderful to see you,’ he said.

‘I’m so glad to be here,’ Julia said. ‘Thank you so much for having me to stay.’

Christoph smiled with a sigh and nodded.

Something wasn’t right. Julia glanced at the disarray. How long had he been like this?

‘Are you sure everything’s all right?’ she said, sitting next to him. ‘You look very weak. I thought you sounded weary on the phone the other day.’

‘Oh, it’s just old age,’ he said.

Come to think of it, he looked thinner than she remembered. As if he hadn’t been taking care of himself properly. ‘When was the last time you ate?’ she asked.

‘I don’t know.’

He needed to get his strength up. ‘Let me find you something.’

The kitchen was at the back of the house. Dishes lay piled in the sink. The fridge contained only a wrinkled red pepper and curdled milk.

This was bad. After Hilde died, he’d managed the house and cooking by himself. But now it seemed to be too much for him. He must have lived like this for several weeks. What was going on?

‘Christoph, I’m popping to the supermarket.’

But he was no longer in the chair. He lay sprawled on the floor, legs askew and arms flailing. Julia’s throat constricted. Christoph moaned. She grabbed a cushion and placed it under his head. A bruise bloomed on his temple.

‘Don’t move.’ Her mind went into overdrive. 112. That was the number over here. ‘I’ll call an ambulance.’

‘No …’ he said, faintly. ‘Ring Daniel.’

Julia stiffened. ‘There’s no time. You need a doctor.’ Not Daniel. Anyone but Daniel.

‘Please,’ Christoph gasped. ‘His number … it’s by the phone.’

His hand clutched her wrist; his eyes implored her. She couldn’t refuse him.

‘I’ll be back in a minute,’ she said.

‘ Danke ,’ Christoph said, his eyes closing.

Julia flicked through the address book, her fingers fumbling the pages. There were countless addresses under Daniel’s name. Australia, America, India, Italy. Each country had a line struck through it. Where did he live now? Hoping it was as far away as possible, Julia turned the page. Her heart sank. Germany. Frankfurt. Only a hundred miles from Bonn.

She grabbed the handset and punched in the number. Thankfully, it went straight to messages. She cleared her throat and waited for the beep.

‘I’m with your father. He’s had a fall. I’m about to ring an ambulance. Anyway, he wanted you to know, so that’s why I’m calling. It’s Julia, by the way. Right … bye.’

Crikey, she’d made a right hash of that, but hopefully he’d get the gist. Well, she’d done what Christoph had asked. It was time to ring an ambulance.

The hospital room was quiet. Christoph’s chest rose and fell. It had taken hours in A the music room was a mess. I went to the kitchen to get him some food and, when I came back, he’d collapsed on the floor.’

Her voice wavered. It’d been quite a day, and now, Daniel turning up like this. ‘It was awful, Daniel, I didn’t know what to do. He’s normally so strong, but he just lay there, helpless.’

Daniel shook his head, concern in his eyes. ‘I’m so sorry you had to deal with all of this. I didn’t realize things had got so bad.’

‘You haven’t seen him lately then?’ she asked.

A twist of annoyance sharpened Daniel’s gaze. She should’ve remembered that his relationship with Christoph was a sore point.

‘I mean …’ Julia said.

‘I know what you mean.’ He ran his hand through his hair. He did that when his defences were up. ‘I try and come back to Bonn every weekend, but things have been crazy at work recently, so it’s been difficult.’

Christoph’s eyes opened, confused for a moment, then he saw Daniel. ‘What’s happening?’ he said.

The door opened and the doctor came in, a tall woman in her fifties.

‘Good afternoon. You must be Herr Baumann’s son. As you’re his next of kin, I’d just like to explain to you where we are, if that’s okay?’

‘Yes, of course,’ Daniel said, folding his arms.

‘When can I go home?’ Christoph asked.

The doctor patted his arm. ‘As soon as you’re strong enough.’ She glanced at her notes. ‘You see, the short-term problem is malnutrition and dehydration. We suspect you haven’t been looking after yourself for a few weeks. The lack of food and water would account for the confusion.’ She glanced at Daniel. ‘He might be like that for a while, until he recovers properly.’

Daniel listened intently. ‘And the long-term problem?’ he asked.

‘Given his age, we need to explore the possibility that this could be the early signs of dementia.’

Daniel took a deep breath. ‘Occasionally, he has spells of not being certain about things – dates, events, appointments. But I put it down to him getting older.’ Julia sensed the fear in his voice. ‘Surely it could just be that?’

‘Of course it is,’ Christoph said weakly. ‘Don’t worry, Daniel.’

The doctor smiled compassionately. ‘It could be. But when you’re feeling better, Herr Baumann, it would be good to discuss the option of doing some more tests.’

The doctor departed, leaving them to digest the news.

‘Are you okay?’ Julia asked Christoph. He nodded and closed his eyes, like he couldn’t take any of it in properly. ‘I don’t think that’s what any of us wanted to hear.’

‘It’s not dementia,’ Daniel said firmly. ‘I’m sure of it. He’ll be fine.’

He was putting on a brave face. Now wasn’t the time to probe further. They had to sort out care for Christoph. She ushered Daniel away from the bed.

‘What’s the best way to organize everything?’ Julia asked in hushed tones, not wanting to disturb Christoph. ‘The house is in a complete state. It’s too much for him. He’s going to need someone there.’

‘The thing is,’ Daniel said, rubbing his temples, ‘this has come at a really bad time.’

‘What do you mean?’ Her eyes widened. She’d thought he’d drop everything to help his father. Despite the fractious relationship they’d always had, Christoph was still his father.

He hesitated. ‘I’m in the middle of something really important at work,’ he said. ‘I just need a few days. I’m sorry, it’s the worst timing.’

‘What could be more important than looking after your father?’

It came out more harshly than she’d meant it to. But seriously, how could he prioritize work over his father?

Daniel clenched his jaw, then he seemed to think twice, his stern expression softening a little.

‘I know, you’re right. Nothing’s more important, but I can’t get out of this. I promise I’ll be back in Bonn soon,’ he said. ‘It’s not ideal, I feel guilty as hell, but if you could hang on until then …’

Julia glanced up at him. ‘You want me to stay and look after him?’

‘Christoph thinks the world of you,’ he said. ‘He never misses an opportunity to mention it. He’d much rather be cared for by you than by me.’

His eyes were liquid green, staring right into hers. She smelled the woody scent of cedar. The outdoors. Him . Julia sucked in her breath. How had she spent six years trying to forget him, only to be disarmed in five minutes?

Julia looked out of the window. ‘He’s your father,’ she said firmly. ‘You can’t just leave him. Besides, I’ve got a concert in Prague next week.’

Daniel gazed at her. ‘Could you just manage a few days? Please, Julia. It’d really help if you didn’t go yet.’

Christoph stirred. ‘What are you talking about?’ he murmured. He glanced at Daniel, then reached out his hand to Julia. ‘You’re not going, are you?’

‘No, of course not. Not yet.’ She took his hand and squeezed it tight.

‘You too, Daniel? I’d like to spend some time with you both,’ Christoph said, his voice faint.

Daniel sat down on the chair beside the bed. He reached over and touched Christoph’s arm, clearly torn by his responsibilities.

‘I wish I could stay, but I can’t, I’m sorry. I’ll get this thing at work sorted out and come back as soon as I can, I promise. I’m hoping Julia will be here until I get back …’ His eyes implored her. ‘If that’s okay with you, Julia?’

What could she say? She’d never leave Christoph alone; Daniel knew that. Whatever he had to do, it must be important. ‘I guess it’ll have to be okay.’

Christoph smiled and patted her hand. ‘ Danke .’ His eyes closed again.

‘I really am sorry,’ Daniel said to Julia. ‘I appreciate you staying.’ He sounded weary, the edge gone from his voice.

‘It’s fine,’ Julia said. ‘I can stay until Thursday, but then I need to fly out to Prague.’

Daniel nodded. ‘I’ll be back as soon as I can. I’ll sort out a cleaner. I don’t want you doing that, it isn’t fair.’

‘Thanks, that’ll give me time to rehearse.’

‘And meals. I’ll organize for them to be delivered. That way you won’t have to do any cooking. I think we both know it’s not your strong point.’

A smile lit up his eyes. It was impossible not to smile back. She knew exactly what he was referring to: the sticky chocolate thickening to a sludge in the fondue set, the fruit getting stuck in the gloop and coming off the skewers. Heat prickled her cheeks, remembering what had come next. Quickly, she tried to push the memory away.

‘Yes, well, that’s definitely true,’ she said.

He held her gaze for a moment. Was he thinking of that night too?

‘Anyway, thanks for doing all this,’ he said. ‘I’ll be back as soon as I can.’

He bent down and kissed Christoph’s forehead. The gesture was brief but full of tenderness.

The door clicked shut, and he was gone. Julia took a deep breath. All this time, she’d dreaded running into him again, wondering how she’d react and what she’d do. Thank God it was over. She sat down on the chair and watched the blue lines going up and down on the monitor. She couldn’t think of Daniel. The priority now was Christoph.