The Passion

Epilogue

FELISHA

“ A t least we know why my father was in such a rush to make that trip to Switzerland just as everything was blowing up between him and me over the company.” I sigh as I take my first sip of the scotch that Flynn has just handed me.

“Bastard, he first tried to make you look bad because you weren’t organized for the job that was supposedly urgent, when in fact he purposely created it, which then gave himself the excuse to fly there without any questions. All the while he was just over there setting up bank accounts and hiding money from you before you got access to everything. I don’t hate many people in my life, but that man is the top of my very short list.” Flynn’s feelings come across very clearly in his voice.

Harper snorts. “Oh, I only have two people on my list, my father and hers, and I hate them equally.” She starts laughing as she holds up her glass in the air, and we both follow suit. “Here’s to never having to deal with either of them in our lives again.”

“Cheers to that.” I touch my glass to hers, but there is still a part of me that is sad on the inside. Her father is dead and mine may as well be now, because there is no way I want to see or speak to him again, unless it’s through a lawyer.

It has been a few months since the day I removed him from the company, and thankfully, he just slinked away into the background without any commotion. Within a week he had left the country and is now living in Switzerland from what Broderick has told me. Flynn insisted we assign people to keep an eye on him, and I have a feeling that will remain for a long time into the future.

By the time the forensic accountants had finished looking through our books, they had found money was being siphoned to numerous bank accounts over the years and some questionable dealings with companies that I will no longer be associated with. My guess is there were more deals done over a poker table over the years, and my father was dragging the business into places I certainly don’t want to be.

Harper and I have been working so hard these last few months to strengthen all the black holes, and I know we are in a better place heading forward.

I didn’t ask for the money back from my father. I will succeed on my own and don’t want to waste the energy of the fight it would have caused. I just want to move forward with the clean company and my staff and board around me who support me. But the money Flynn paid to buy out the other shares is still up for debate between the two of us. I want to pay him back, but he is insisting it’s a gift. But I won’t back down. I don’t want any man to have that sort of hold over me, even if he doesn’t mean it to be.

Flynn and all the Darby team have been amazing. They may be competitors, but first and foremost, they are my friends and have been the first to ask what they can do to help. But the funny thing is, even though we are competing in the same market, there are ways we can work together that can benefit us both. There is a lot of talk about things in the future where we can help each other. Which, I’ll be honest, was one of my concerns being with Flynn. I don’t want us to keep secrets from each other, but when it comes to business, we know that is a different matter. That part of our life isn’t a secret, it’s just information that we don’t need to share with each other, and we’re both okay with that.

One of the biggest things I appreciate from them all is the respect they show me in the business world. And not because I’m Flynn’s girlfriend but instead because of the way I run my business and conduct myself. This has really helped with the transition from my father to me as the CEO, because people look at the Darby Hotel men and follow suit.

Of course, there are a few old-school businessmen who still talk down to me or avoid dealing with me, but they are learning very quickly that I don’t need them, and I couldn’t care less what they think.

After an hour of the three of us just winding down after what has been a long week, I’m struggling to keep my eyes open, at the same time, Harper is replying to a message that has just popped up on her phone.

“Well, that’s my cue to leave.” She stands from her seat as she smooths down her skirt and reaches for her jacket that is next to her on the couch.

“What, Felisha’s yawn or the message of a date waiting?” Flynn chuckles to himself as he picks up the three glasses off the table and heads into the kitchen.

“Both.” She laughs as I stand to say good night with a hug.

Feeling emotional at what we have all been through, I hug her tighter than she was expecting.

“Thank you for everything. I couldn’t have gotten through this without you. To be honest, I couldn’t go through life without you, and that’s the truth.” Tears well in my eyes as we both just stay in the moment.

But as usual, Harper pulls away and tries to push down her feelings that she very rarely shows. And surprisingly, I see her very subtly wipe a tear away, before the tough exterior comes back.

“Exactly, so don’t even think about trying. You know you are stuck with me until we are those annoying old ladies in the nursing home who demand to have our nails and hair done every day and a parade of good-looking men to serve us our meals and whatever else we need.” That has us both laughing because it’s probably true.

“And where do I fit in this equation?” Flynn asks, coming up behind me and then putting himself in between us girls, arms around both of us.

“Ughhh, see? You’re the problem. You wrecked this whole little fantasy we’ve had since forever. You’re lucky I like you, otherwise I would have to get rid of you.” She lays her head on his shoulder. I know Harper and Flynn are now so close that she has become like family to him, and she is starting to realize that maybe not all men are trash.

“I’m not sure if I should feel privileged or worried,” he replies as she moves away from the brief hug she allowed.

“Both.” Walking away, she grabs her bag as she looks over her shoulder with a smug grin.

“Noted.” Flynn chuckles at her as she leaves us both standing here watching her go off to enjoy the company of some man but never letting him get close to her in any way.

I hope one day that will change, but it will take one hell of a strong man to get past that iron wall.

3 Years Later

“I waited too long. It’s never going to happen.” I can feel the disappointment building in the pit of my stomach again.

The same way it has every month for the last thirteen months.

I look up from the bathroom vanity where the pregnancy test is sitting, into those deep soulful eyes that are showing just as much apprehension as I feel.

Flynn goes to open his mouth, but I stop him before he can say anything.

“If you say anything like, if it’s meant to be it will happen or some bullshit like that, I swear I will hurt you.” I don’t know why I’m being such a bitch, but I can’t help it.

“Princess, just breathe. We’re in this together.” His calming voice is normally what I need, but this morning, it’s just not helping.

Back when I first took over the company, having a child was the last thing on either of our minds. I had a business to get sorted and set on the right track again, and Flynn was busy just trying to be the man Nic relies on and my greatest support. Life was chaotic but blissful. We spent our days and sometimes into the nights working extremely hard and then spent the few hours we had left wrapped in each other’s arms talking, relaxing, laughing, and learning more about each other and how to be in a relationship. There were times we fought, and that was when I knew he was truly the one for me, because with every disagreement came the compromise on both sides and moving forward with greater understanding of each other. Never once has Flynn tried to squash my opinion or treat me as anything less than himself.

But it was like a switch flicked inside me the moment we got married fifteen months ago. Flynn didn’t wait long to propose. It was three months after my father left and we had our first weekend where we had both promised there would be no work for either of us. He took me for a drive out into the countryside, and we went horseback riding at this beautiful estate. The house was old but in great condition. Not huge, but it blended nicely into its surroundings. Gardens that were sprawling around the house but were not too tall so that from every angle you could still see the fields and the rolling hills. If felt like I was that little girl back in her fairytale of wanting a horse and somewhere to ride it.

After we had stabled the horses, he took me for a walk into the gardens around the house where there was a beautiful love seat. The moment he sat me down and I was looking out toward the amazing view, he dropped to his knee and proposed to me. I cried and was overwhelmed, not because it was all happening too fast, but merely because I finally had a man in my life who loved me unconditionally and that I could trust to protect my heart.

Flynn, after slipping on my stunning diamond solitaire, stood, pulled me into his arms and twirled me around and around while we both couldn’t stop smiling at each other. When he stopped and put me down and turned me to look out at the view again, he whispered into my ear, “Welcome to our country estate, and Saphire that you just rode, he’s yours.” There was no stopping the tears then, and it doesn’t happen often, but I was completely lost for words. That day will live in my memories forever.

Three minutes feels like a lifetime when you are waiting for the results on these tests. It’s five thirty in the morning, and Flynn is standing behind me in his boxers, one arm around my waist and the other slowly rubbing up and down my arm. My cream silk nightie I threw on as I climbed out of bed is scrunched in both my hands as I hug myself in apprehension.

“And just so we are clear, you didn’t wait too long to have a baby, you waited for me. And no matter what, neither of us will ever regret that it took us that long to find each other. You are the person I was meant to go through life with, and the rest we will work out together.” His hand moves to my chin, and he turns my face to look at him. Leaning forward, he kisses me ever so softly on the lips. “Together we are enough, and if that is all we get in this world then I will die a happy man.”

Why does he have to be so sweet that I go from wanting to hurt him to now making me start crying?

The alarm on my phone starts chiming, and I feel both our bodies tense up a little.

Looking down at the test, I don’t think I can turn it over. It’s like I’m frozen and can’t move.

“Do you want me to do it?” Flynn whispers, and I nod while looking at his eyes in the mirror again.

His arm grips me that little tighter around the waist as he leans forward to turn it over. I can’t look. I don’t move from watching his face and trying to read his expression. He’s blank.

No smile, no frown, nothing.

Placing the test back down, he turns me to look at him. I know it’s so he can hug and console me, when I break down again. Nobody talks about how hard this is for some people, especially the older you are.

Life is so complicated sometimes.

I will continue to fight for equality for women in this world, and it has given me the opportunity to have a career I love, but there are tradeoffs I have made, and I’m worried that this is one of them. I know many women have successfully had a career and children, but I may not get to be one of them.

“Princess.” His voice is so soft and has a slight quiver. “We did it, we’re pregnant.”

His hands are on either side of my face, and the words are running in circles inside my brain.

No, it can’t be right, he’s read it wrong.

“Two… two lines?” I’m struggling to hold in the emotions that are about to spill from me.

“Yes, two lines, look.” Holding it up and showing me, I still can’t process it.

“Nope, it’s a mistake.” I grab another one off the counter and dip it in the cup of urine I have sitting there. No waiting, I open another one too.

“That’s enough. Three will be enough to make you believe the first one.” Flynn reaches for my hands and pulls me away from the counter.

“I can’t believe it. What if it’s wrong? I can’t go through this pain if I let myself believe it’s true and then it’s not.” I bury my head in his chest like I always do when life feels too hard.

“I know, and I understand. Just a few minutes and you will have your answer. In the meantime, come here.” He lifts me up and carries me out of the bathroom away from the tests that are doing their thing.

Sitting me down on the bed, Sassy scampers across the sheets, annoyed that she had finally gotten her time on the bed since we got out, and now she has been disturbed.

“Damn cat!” Flynn grumbles as she meows loudly at him on her way out of the room.

They still barely tolerate each other, and I doubt that’s ever going to change.

“Now tell me what’s the worst thing that can happen if we get more negative tests?” He kneels on the floor in front of me, in between my legs, his face level with mine.

“We try again,” I mumble. It’s what we’ve done each month since we started seriously trying to have a baby.

“Exactly, and then, what do we do when the time is right?” His hands on my thighs, he squeezes tight to reassure me, but I think it’s to help calm him too.

“We explore our options, whatever they may be,” I whisper because although we have both been convincing ourselves that we are okay with that, it’s still hard to accept.

“That’s my girl.” Kissing me on the forehead, he stands and disappears into the bathroom again.

I stare at our bathroom door like it holds all the answers in that room.

As he appears walking back through it again, this time he is not trying to hide anything from me.

The smile on his face is so big, and there is no denying the butterflies that are starting to take flight in my stomach.

“Really?” I look up at him.

Pulling me up off the bed, Flynn has me in his arms and is kissing me with such passion.

“Yes. We’re pregnant!” he screams out at the top of his lungs as he starts to release me from the tight hold he had on me.

Everything is starting to sink in now.

“We’re having a baby.” My hands gently settle on my stomach, and Flynn’s big strong hands settle on top of mine.

“We’re really having a baby.” His hands pull away, and he slowly lowers me to the bed again, lifting my nightgown up and placing his lips on my stomach in the most gentle and sweet way. “Hello in there, little one. Settle in and grow nice and strong. We can’t wait to meet you.” And it’s then I realize he is crying happy tears too, like I have been for the last few minutes.

Crawling onto the bed, Flynn lies down with his arms open wide, and I know exactly where I want to be.

Lying down beside him, I rest my head on his chest and just listen to his heart beating as we both come to terms with the big news.

And in my usual form, as soon as the shock starts to wear off, my mind is already racing.

I lift my head up to look at him. “You know we can’t tell anyone for a while, like no one.” Seeing him smirk, I can tell it’s going in one ear and out the other. “I mean it, Flynn, not even Nic.”

“But he’s not just anyone.” He looks at me with his big puppy-dog eyes. “I bet you will tell Harper.”

“No. Please, I’m too scared. You know this is going to be a high-risk pregnancy. We need to keep it to ourselves until we are out of danger.” I’m already feeling anxious and trying not to let too much excitement creep in.

“I understand, but as long as you know I’m about to wrap you in bubble wrap for the next nine months. And don’t you even dare say one word about me being overprotective, because you know what I’m like, and shit just got real here. Now I have two of you to keep safe, and that’s next-level.”

“Oh Lord, help me,” I reply sarcastically, but I know deep down it is just another thing about my husband that makes me feel loved.

I sigh dramatically. “So I’m guessing sex is off the table for nine months then, if I’m not allowed to do anything strenuous.” I try so hard not to laugh at the look on his face at my words.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, let’s not get too rash here. We all know that sex is safe in pregnancy because no man would want a second child if he had to go through that drought again.” He snags me under my armpits and drags me up so I’m lying completely on top of him.

“In fact, that sounds like a perfect way to celebrate our amazing news. What do you say, Mrs. Taylor?” His hands are roaming over my body on top of the silk nightgown. “Want to get naked with me?”

“Not a chance, Mr. Taylor, not until I’ve seen a doctor.” As much as I would love to have hot wild sex right now, I’m too scared, and he’s just going to have to deal with that.

“Give me your phone, I’m calling your doctor now and getting the first appointment this morning.” He is joking, but I’m sure part of him is serious.

“You’re crazy.” I’m giggling now as the first ray of hope that I might become a mum is starting to settle inside me.

“Yep, crazy in love with you.” And that sounds just perfect to me.

9 Months Later

FLYNN

Nobody warned me what it’s like to be the husband during childbirth.

I don’t cope when Felisha stubs her toe. How am I supposed to sit here while she’s screaming because we have a baby with a head as big as a basketball and she’s trying to push it out of a hole that is only fit for a tennis ball? I just want to grab the doctor and tell her to do something to take her pain away, but Felisha was adamant she wanted to try with as little drugs as possible because it’s better for the baby. I don’t know where she read some of the shit she has told me, but that is not right, and seeing her in so much pain can’t be good for the baby.

Getting a break between contractions, she grabs my arm, her nails digging in so I can feel the pain that she’s obviously feeling.

“What if I don’t give you a boy? Promise me you will still love a girl.” The sheer panic in her eyes almost breaks me.

“We have been over this, beautiful. I don’t care what sex the baby is. I just want our baby out of you so the pain stops and for both of you to be okay. That’s why we didn’t find out the gender, because I don’t care.” Leaning down, I kiss her on the forehead and wipe her hair back from her sweaty face.

“I couldn’t take it if you didn’t love her.” The trauma of her father is stuck inside her still, and I’m not sure she will ever lose that.

“If I’m being honest then I hope we get a girl who is just like you. Strong, beautiful, and stubborn as fuck. So, I can tell the world every day how proud I am of everything she achieves and that she takes just after her mother.” The tears are welling in her eyes as the next contraction starts, and the moment is gone.

I’ve been thinking about this for a while, at how it will be the biggest fuck-you to her father if we have a girl and Kentwall Estates will again be passed down to a woman when the time comes. Not that we have heard from him since the day he left, and that’s just the way we like it, but this birth will be all over the media, and he is bound to see it.

“Okay, Felisha, it’s time to start pushing.” Our doctor looks at me and gives me a nod to say she needs me to help Felisha get through these last few minutes.

There is so much screaming, the busy movements of the doctor and midwife, and all I can do is be there to have my arms and hands covered in nail marks where she is trying hang on to me, begging me to make the pain stop.

“That’s it, Felisha, the head is out, next contraction I want you to push with everything you have.”

I look at Felisha as the doctor is speaking, and I know she is struggling.

“Flynn, I can’t, I can’t do this.” Her voice so fatigued.

“Look at me, princess. You can do this. You are strong! Our baby needs you, and you never back down from challenges. This is the most important challenge of your life. Now, push!”

“Fuck you, it’s not that easy…”

I’m almost yelling at her as the emotions of the moment are spilling out of me too.

The contraction hits, and she sits up off the bed again, pushing so hard that the baby comes out in a hurry. The doctor quickly lifts their little body straight up onto Felisha, and the midwife gives our precious baby a rub with the towel as the first cry comes out, and I can finally breathe.

“Flynn.” She bursts into tears as she looks down at our healthy little one she is hugging so tightly to her chest, and I’m following her with tears I can’t stop either as the doctor smiles at both of us.

“Well, you got your wish, Flynn. Congratulations, both of you, you have a little girl.”

I’m in absolute awe of my wife and our precious daughter who is now making sure that the world knows she is here.

“I love you.” Leaning down, I kiss Felisha hard, wrapping both her and our daughter in my arms. “And my little girl, I will love you unconditionally until the day I die. You are so wanted by both your mum and your dad, and we will always be here to protect you.”

“You promise?” Felisha asks, and I understand her panic right in this moment.

“I would never lie about something so important. I would die for her, just as I would for you.” And that is the honest truth.

With the reassurance she needed, I can see the relief in Felisha’s face, and she finally looks down at our little girl.

“She’s perfect.” Felisha looks up at me.

“Yes, she is, just like her mum.”

The next thirty minutes are a bit of a blur as I cut the cord and everything is cleared away, Felisha is checked over, and our little girl is assessed and then wrapped up in her blanket nice and snuggly, given back to Felisha to try to feed her. Luckily, that all seems to have gone smoothly, and now we have been left in the room on our own to have time with our baby to bond together as a family.

“We need to name her. I want you to choose from our list.” Felisha is sitting on the bed next to me, with this beautiful new life in my arms that has come from such love between the both of us.

I know none of the names we talked about fit her as she opens her eyes and stares up at me.

“Hope Felisha Taylor.” We both look at her, and Felisha just smiles back at me.

“I think that’s perfect, just like she is.” And I couldn’t agree more.

This little girl is the next generation and will bring so much hope to her mother and I that she will live in a world where she will never know the pain that Felisha did.

She will only ever know love from her parents, the support of her family and friends, and the respect she deserves in whatever field she chooses to work in.

“I’m so screwed. You, my little Hope, are going to have me wrapped around your little finger, and I already can’t say no to your mother. I should just give up now. My girls will rule my world, and I couldn’t be happier.”

Kissing them both on their foreheads, I think back to a time where I felt like I needed to stand out for people to notice me.

Tonight, I feel seen by the only two people who matter.

And that’s fine by me.

Our life is just where it is supposed to be. What the future holds, I don’t know, but no matter what it is, we will tackle it together.

My girls and me.

Thank you for reading The Passion . I hope you enjoyed Flynn and Felisha’s story as much as I loved writing it.