17. Paper Rings
Chapter 17
Paper Rings
BETH
T he morning light spills through the stained glass of the bibliotheca’s windows, casting fragmented colors across the floor. The sunlight seeps into me, but it does little to thaw the chill lodged deep in my chest. Despite what I promised Elio, my heart stutters on the way to the dining hall, and I slip between two bookcases instead.
I should skip brunch entirely and seek refuge deep within the stacks until the ceremony, as desperate as I am to avoid Heather’s beauty, Elio’s frown, and Aidan’s complete lack of recollection of our past.
After our initial meeting, I toyed with the idea that he was pretending not to recognize me to protect his fiancée, but our conversation dispelled any suspicions that he was merely acting for her sake.
His memories of me are gone. Poof.
Just like that.
I can’t fathom how. His father would have been first in line to erase me, one way or another, but I can’t believe he would have enchanted his own son. We were kids, playing against the wills of kings.
I always thought, even though it hurt like hell, that Aidan had simply come to his senses. Under duress, maybe, but not without reason.
Decades went by without a word. Not one letter.
After ten years in the new world, around the time I gained enough confidence to sing and became famous, I expected him to finally visit. Finally write. Even call. Anything.
If only to get closure.
I wrote to him when his father died, but he only sent back a polite thank you for my well wishes. The impersonal, somewhat cold response wrecked me for months . I’d always thought it had been his way of telling me that our past was better left unmentioned. Thanatos knows I’ve tried to forget him, though I failed.
It always cut me to the bone that he didn’t chase after me once the heat died down, but what if he just…didn’t remember?
I bite my nails, desperate to soothe the anguish twisting my heart, unable to walk out of my hiding place and into the dining hall to face Aidan again.
Elio finds me a minute later, sniffing out my cowardice as if he had a special radar for Winter Fae who chicken out of following their king’s orders.
“Good morning,” I say, playing coy.
“Beth,” he sighs. “You promised.”
I hide my face in my hands. “I can’t.”
“We have to tell him. It’s not right,” he pleads again, his opinion unchanged since last night. “If his memories have been altered, he deserves to know.”
“He’s getting married in a few hours.” I don’t have it in me to rush into a difficult conversation that might ruin his current relationship. “It’s too late.”
What Aidan doesn’t remember can’t hurt him anymore. I can’t let myself be tempted to put my own selfish need to make him remember above the new life he’s built for himself. However awful it feels to know we might have been cheated out of a life together, his present happiness needs to be safeguarded.
“I disagree. Marriage is a forever business where we’re concerned, and you can’t tell me of all people that marrying the wrong person isn’t a big deal,” Elio says.
A needle of doubt stings my heart, and I turn away from him. I pick an aisle at random and peruse the books, skimming the edges with my fingers. “Fuck, Elio. How could I even begin to tell him? Why would he even believe me?”
“We’ll find a way. Together.”
“You stayed at the academy after I left. You ought to have noticed well before now if Aidan didn’t remember me.”
“Lots of stuff happened that year. Ezra left school right after you, and Aidan and I were not close. It’s not impossible that a sudden memory lapse would have gone unnoticed.”
A few guests stream across the room to reach the dining hall, and a confident set of footsteps approaches. I stiffen, knowing who it is before he even turns the corner, his presence filling the air with a disarming warmth.
“Good morning. Elio, can I have a moment alone with Miss Elizabeth?” Aidan asks quietly, his voice lower than usual.
“I’ll leave you two to talk.” Ice shines in Elio’s sharp gaze, the King of Death mightily intimidating when he means to be, and the underlying message is quite clear. You better tell him, or I will.
Aidan flattens himself to one of the bookcases to let Elio pass, and joins me deep in the shadows of the towering furniture. “It is Miss , isn’t it?”
The air grows sparse, but I keep my expression as neutral as possible. “Yes.”
Aidan is not the only man who’s asked for my hand in marriage, but he is the only one I’ve ever said yes to. For him to ask if I’m married feels like a knife scraping against bone.
“I have a question for you.” He steps closer, his gaze searching mine. “I checked the archives last night, and I saw you attended the academy the year I was a guardian.”
“That’s right.”
His eyes narrow slightly, as if he’s trying to piece together a puzzle. “We must have met, then? Seems silly to think we didn’t cross paths for an entire year. Go ahead and call me out on it if I forgot.”
The smile he offers is meant to be disarming, but I glimpse at the tension beneath it. There’s something in his tone, a hint of worry—or perhaps guilt.
By Thanatos…
“We did meet,” I confirm, my throat tightening around the words.
He chuckles softly and runs a hand through his hair. “By the Flame, I thought I was going crazy. I bet you thought I was a pompous tool and didn’t give me the time of day.”
I should laugh, or smile, anything to put him at ease, but the words are stuck. How can I explain? How can I skirt around the truth when it’s a blade twisting in my chest? Too heavy, too complicated, too painful.
“I can see it on your face. We did know each other. Speak your mind, please.”
He’s close enough now that I have to tip my chin up to look at him, and for a moment, I can almost believe he’s going to lean in and kiss me, as he did so many times that year.
Where do I even begin?
You were the love of my life, and I hated you for not chasing after me.
Too abrupt.
Someone is playing with your memories.
Too cryptic.
I still love you, and even though it’s selfish as hell, I need you to remember.
Too honest.
None of these options work, and before I know it, tears well up in my eyes, hot and heavy. I blink, trying to push them back, but they spill over my lids in fat, treacherous droplets that slide down my cheeks. I’m horrified by my lack of control, by how easily my composure shatters in front of him.
I move to clasp the glass ring he gave me, twisting it around my finger, wishing I had never put it on in the first place. I waited for him. That’s the truth. I waited for him for decades , wishing and hoping, but as it turns out, the man I waited on doesn’t exist anymore.
And I can’t even fault him for it.
He catches my movements, and his brows pull together.
“That ring…” he grabs my hand and holds it up to the light.
“Don’t,” I jerk away, my voice breaking, desperate to escape before I crumble completely. “Excuse me.” I try to squeeze past him, but he curls an arm around my waist.
His hold is gentle, yet firm, and so Aidan that my heart somersaults.
“Who gave you that ring?” he chucks out.
Fire licks the shape of his shoulders. The familiar pull of his heat mollifies my bones, our chests rising and falling harder with each breath. His amber gaze flicks to my lips, my heart racing in spite of all measures of decency.
“You did,” I finally breathe.
Aidan stiffens from head to toe, frozen in place. “How can that be?” His hold on my waist slacks. “I’m about to get married.” The cracks in his voice are deeper and wider than the biggest chasms up on the Frost Peaks, and I’m not sure if he’s reminding himself that he’s about to walk down the aisle, or apologizing for it.
“I know.”
His jaw clenches, and he takes a small step back. “Why are you here, really? Why did you come?”
The unspoken accusation in his tone wrecks me.
“I-I shouldn’t have. I see that now.”
With the wedding being as rushed as it is, Heather is probably already pregnant. The thought strips away what’s left of my composure, and I slip out of reach, barreling down the aisle toward the exit.
“Elizabeth! Wait!” Aidan calls after me, and for a moment, I’m tempted to look back, to see if there’s any flicker of recognition in his eyes, any sign that his memories are not gone forever. But I can’t bear the emptiness I know I’ll find.
Tears blur my vision as I flee the bibliotheca. The door closes behind me with a soft thud, but the echo of his voice, the way he shouted my name, plagues my mind.
I can’t believe it’s almost time to change, so I can watch him get married to another woman.