19. Night on Bald Mountain
Chapter 19
Night on Bald Mountain
SONGBIRD
Summerlands, Faerie, 100 years ago
O ur small classroom on the fourth floor of the academy’s main building has six desks and chairs, one for each of the initiates. All lectures are held here, while the more practical lessons take us all over the academy and sometimes even into the new world. Since we often have to work in pairs and are encouraged to branch out and not always pick the same partner, we’ve become a tightly knit group in spite of all the…difficulties.
Too bad my fiancé still sets my teeth on edge.
Sean is the last to arrive to class on the final day before the first semester’s exams. The tall, brown-haired boy takes his seat up front and braces an arm to glance at Willow, sitting behind him. “Hey, Will! I saw Aidan in the dining hall this morning.”
My ears perk up, blood flushing my cheeks at the mere mention of his name. Despite his prolonged absence, he’s been on my mind non-stop. During my visit to the new world, my sleep was filled with dreams for the first time in my life. And Aidan had been a prominent fixture in those dreams.
“Yes, he just got back,” Willow replies without looking up from her book.
“Is it true that he and Devi got engaged in the new world?”
She scoffs. “Never. Who told you such a ridiculous tale?”
Sean grins from ear to ear but doesn’t answer, and I twitch in my seat, my mouth going dry. The academy’s rumor mill is always spinning, mixing as many truths with wild stories, but in this instance, I hope Sean is mistaken. It’s bad enough my head is filled with thoughts of Aidan. With exams looming, I’d rather not face news of his engagement.
Thankfully, the long break between the two semesters is coming soon, right after exams and the summer solstice celebration. My heart has been longing for a taste of home and a reprieve from all the grueling study sessions needed to get me up to speed.
The fear of being exposed for what I did—of dragging down my family’s name in disgrace—died down after a few weeks. The unease that had spiced up my blood during that first month has dulled into a lingering pang of imposter syndrome, but I no longer look over my shoulder everywhere I go, expecting a faculty member to kick me to the curb.
In all appearances, Aidan and I got away with cheating on the trials, but I won’t let my guard down. I can’t.
“Is your father coming or not?” Zeke asks with a huff from his usual seat next to Sean.
Willow waves dismissively at the Shadow Prince. “Don’t fret. My father is always late.”
Though it’s not her father who walks through the door, but Aidan.
The bane of my existence steps into the classroom with the same confidence I remember, his appearance fresh out of the new world. His gray trousers are cut sharp, high on his waist, held up by dark suspenders that somehow make him look effortlessly put together. A checked waistcoat peeks beneath his slightly unbuttoned jacket, and the collar of his shirt stands crisp and clean.
Though he’s been plaguing my mind with his haunting voice and his godly looks, I’d forgotten how enticing his bite of power felt. The tension in the room cranks up by a mile, and Zeke’s spine straightens. The two brawlers haven’t seen each other since the incident on the beach, everyone convinced Aidan had been forced to accept an off-world assignment to atone for his fiery assault. According to Willow, the Crown Prince had never been away from the Summerlands for so long.
It’s been months since I discouraged his advances, but if I’m honest, a part of me still mourns what could have been. He respected his promise to leave me alone, but his hurried departure robbed me of the chance to apologize for the harsh words I’d spoken on that horrible night. I wish I’d shut him down more gently, but I’d been too angry and scared to nuance my emotions.
When he speaks, his voice raises every hair on the back of my neck, and my heart throbs as if awakened from a long slumber. “I know you were all looking forward to my dad’s take on the Summerlands traditions,” Aidan says, barely veiling his snark. “Alas, our King had to step out this afternoon. He asked me to go over the basics of the summer solstice with you.”
He inspects the ebony chalkboard for a moment before turning away from it and hopping right up on the desk, his legs dangling casually from the ledge. “Alright. Who here knows the true meaning of St. John’s Eve?”
Zeke curls his fists, Sean and Iris drinking in his reaction as if they’re hoping for round two.
“No one? Really?” Aidan cracks. “I find that impossible to believe.” His astute gaze darts to his sister, and he motions for her to stand up. “Willow. Please enlighten them.”
The legs of Willow’s chair creak along the hardwood as she stands up and clears her throat. “Way back when, the Summer King fell in love with a mortal, but she was already married. Adultery was seen as this terrible, unforgivable sin, so his beloved would not bend, afraid of being caught. But he burned for her so much that he cast a spell over her entire village and released all the evil spirits on St. John’s Eve to create a diversion so they could sneak out and spend one night together without consequences.” She quiets down, her voice tinged with sadness. “This sparked a tradition among Summer Fae. The night of the solstice—the shortest night of the year—you can be with whoever you want, no matter the circumstances.”
I don’t know why exactly, but the way she breathes the words quickens my heartbeat, and I steal a glance at Aidan.
Whoever you want.
“The spirits ended up killing hundreds of villagers. They were selfish and dumb,” Elio chimes in.
Iris nods in agreement. “Elio is right. As if anyone needs an excuse for infidelity. What a bore. It’s an ancient way of going about relationships.”
Elio blushes deep red at that, still grappling with his unrequited crush.
“Everyone cheats. We should just embrace it and stop being so judgemental about it,” Iris adds.
“But that’s the point of St. John’s Eve. Better to have one night set aside for everyone to give in to their hearts’ desires than actually betray their vows,” Willow grumbles unhappily at her roommate. “It relieves the pressure of our centuries -long commitments by allowing for one night of freedom each year. The trade-off is worth it.”
The unease at the pit of my stomach grows as I stare out at the bright sky. I shake my head and bite my tongue. Moths take marriage and commitment more seriously than dandelion fluffs and fireflies, clearly. I can’t believe we’re the ones that get a bad rep, when the Summerlands official holiday is actually a shag-whoever-you-want night. I knew this already, of course, but I’d never confronted the emotions that rise in me at the thought of being allowed, even encouraged, to step outside of a marriage . The winter solstice actually does something incredibly beautiful and needed, and it makes me feel even more homesick.
Aidan raps his fingers on the desk. “What about you, Miss Elizabeth? Do you have something to share with the class?”
The overly formal way he addresses me feels like a slap in the face. Miss Elizabeth. Like I’m some young schoolgirl he’s never met.
My eyes narrow. “Marriage should be built on more than just efforts to hang onto meaningless crowns. If people married for love, then St. John’s Eve wouldn’t be needed at all,” I ground out.
“Hear, hear,” Elio cheers behind me.
A red, incandescent blush sears my cheeks. By the spindle… where did that come from?
Zeke narrows his eyes, and I don’t dare to sneak a glance at Aidan, pretty sure that I’ll spontaneously combust if our gazes meet.
“Do as I say and not as I do, right, Beth?” Iris quips.
I hide my face in my palms at her jab. She’s right, and my own hypocrisy threatens to choke me.
“I thought you were a fan of the ballad of St. John Eve. You sang it during your admission trials,” Aidan says like he’s discussing something as trivial as what he plans to eat for dinner.
“Wait. Beth sang in the labyrinth?” Willow gasps.
“A little,” I admit.
Elio’s voice booms behind me. “Beth is just being humble. She’s a fantastic singer.”
Aidan’s brows furrow, his jaw clenching at the praise, his gaze searching mine for the first time since he entered the room. His amber depths ask too many questions for me to keep track of, and my heart pounds at my temples.
“Oh, Beth. You have to sing for the solstice gala. Elio can accompany you on the piano,” Willow squeals.
The gala is apparently a very important tradition for the Augustus villagers, and she leads the planning committee. I’d managed to steer clear of participating until now, but I can’t focus on anything but Aidan’s inquisitive stare as I answer, “Err— Alright.”
Shadows drape over his face, and he breaks eye contact, moving ahead with the rest of the lesson. I wonder if I’ve imagined the embers of jealousy I saw flicker in his irises when Elio spoke, and if it means that, against all odds, he thought of me while he was gone.
The scorching humidity I have yet to get accustomed to assaults me as soon as Willow and I step out of the main building. The horizon is quickly fading from pink to midnight-blue, the sun’s departure making the stuffy air a little more bearable. Since so many of the fourth-years and graduate students have spent the last few weeks off-world, their return commands a party.
Willow guides me down the stony path that leads to Saffron Cove, her elbow hooked around my arm. “You’ve studied every waking hour of every day. You deserve one last night of fun before you entomb yourself in your room for the next three days.”
“I agreed to come, didn’t I?” I say with a smile.
An adorable pout twists her features. “I can’t believe the exams are coming so quickly.”
“Cheer up, Will. You’re the best student in the class.”
“Only because of you. You keep me honest. Sixty percent of the first-year students fail at least one exam. That means extra work next semester, and we’re already crumbling under pressure…”
Despite her birthright to attend the academy, Willow isn’t neglecting her school work, and I love her all the more for it.
“Is everything alright?” I ask. “You sounded emotional when you spoke of St. John’s Eve.”
“It’s sad that Fae royals are only allowed to follow their hearts for one night per year,” she sighs. “I wish someone was brave enough to enact true change, but once a Fae gets a crown, they become too scared of losing it to change the way things are done.”
“Why change a ladder when you’ve already reached the top?” I muse.
She drags her feet along the stone steps leading down to the beach. “It’s weird, you know. All my life, I’ve been told Aidan will be the next Summer King. My father never even took me seriously because of Aidan’s mark. I wonder sometimes if it’s a blessing or a curse for everyone to know, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that I won’t inherit my family’s throne. They all expect me to become a queen through marriage, but that means I won’t get to be happy.”
“Don’t say that. You might fall for your betrothed.”
She raises a brow. “The way you fell for Zeke?”
My gaze darts down to the red-orange sand. “Iris was right. I’m a hypocrite.”
“No, it’s not your fault. You’re stuck because of stupid rules made up by stupid people. We’re both doomed to be unhappy because of what old, crumbling kings decided was right. I swear, if I ever get to be queen…”
Her certainty that she’s bound to live a life of duty prompts me to tell her the truth about my intentions with Zeke and admit I plan to get out of marrying him altogether, but the bonfire appears in the distance. It’s not safe to discuss this here.
“Blessed Flame. Let’s have fun tonight, and forget about real life,” she tugs on my arm, hurrying me along.
She’s bee-lining for the spot where Aidan and his friends are playing cards, and I stagger in the sand.
“Aidan! Come here for a second. I have something for you.” She sets her over-the-shoulder bag on a tall nearby rock and rummages through it.
Aidan folds his cards on the makeshift table before heading toward us.
“Hi,” I greet him, a nervous hiccup threatening to pop out of my throat.
“Hey,” he answers casually, taking a sip of his cider and quickly looking away.
“Welcome back.”
“How are you?” he asks.
“Good.”
“Good.”
We both nod. It’s not only awkward, but downright painful to endure such a stilted, dishonest conversation with the man that has been plaguing my thoughts and dreams.
His fire warms the air between us, enticing and yet forbidden, the bite of his magic beckoning me closer.
I open my mouth to say something, anything, to encompass how his return makes me feel, but Willow wrenches a sealed letter out of her bag. “Here.”
“What’s that? Fan mail?” I joke.
“A love letter, actually.” Willow chimes, and my stomach plummets until she grins mischievously and adds, “From our grandmother. After all these years, she still doesn’t trust the sprites with her mail.” Willow throws a knowing wink to her big brother, but the prince remains stoic, and she eyes him up and down. “What happened to you? You look…different. Quiet.”
“The new world is changing, but their social rules are still pretty strict. I had to tame my impulses quite a bit to fit in.” His eyes flick to me as he says the last part, and I shiver all over.
Willow pats his arm in a soothing manner. “Well, you’re back in Faerie, now. Stop frowning, or I’ll start to think something’s wrong with you.”
“Should I deal you in, then?” he asks.
“You bet.”
They walk arm in arm to join the others, but I remain rooted in place. Sitting around the fire, Zeke is fooling around with Diana of all people. He’s grown complacent of our non-relationship, and I draw in a deep breath, heading off toward the ocean.
The sea breeze soothes my nerves. The waves lap gently at my ankles, washing away my worries as I wade forward until they reach my knees.
Ezra’s head pops out of the water up ahead, the blonde Prince of Light wiping his wet hair from his face while the rest of his body remains submerged.
“Looking gorgeous as always, Lady Snow,” he greets me. “Still betrothed, I hear?”
He swims closer and stands, water streaming down his bare chest as he leans in to peck my cheeks. Droplets spray my shoulders at his closeness.
“Ugh,” I grunt. “How was your trip to the new world?”
“Enlightening, I’d say. No matter how much we read about mortals and their customs, living among them is an entirely different affair. Was it very boring without me here?”
“Oh yes, quite.”
The corners of his mouth quirk. “The mortal world is changing so fast. If they keep it up, they’ll shoot right past us, and we’ll be the ones living in the dark ages.”
From what I’ve glimpsed of the new world, he might be right. “I thought Winter Fae were anchored in traditions because of our close connection to death, but I’ve realized here that all Fae are adverse to change.”
“Irrevocably so.” His irises reflect the silvery orb of the moon over the sea. It feels like his soul is shining through, quietly surfacing. “Do you ever wish you could…disappear? Start over somewhere new, where no one knows who you are?”
“That’s sort-of what I did when I came here.”
A soft chuckle quakes his body. “Yeah. Good for you, Lady Snow.” With a sad smile, Ezra glances over my shoulder before a heavy sigh heaves his lungs. “Here he comes. I’ll leave you two to talk.”
I open my mouth to ask him to stay, to mitigate the impression that Aidan and I want privacy, but the words get caught in my throat. Ezra spins around and sinks back into the gentle waves, floating on his back with his arms extended like he’s some religious martyr.
Aidan’s fiery bite of power contrasts with the coastal wind, and goosebumps tighten my skin. I rub the chill off my arms, the current suddenly tugging at my knees as if swallowed by his gravity.
He keeps himself at a safe, almost awkward distance. “I want to apologize. For how I acted that night. I’m sorry that I pushed you and made things more difficult,” he whispers, his soft words almost lost to the salty breeze.
“Nothing came of it, really. After you left, everyone sort of latched on to the newest scandal.” I draw absent-minded patterns on the seafloor with my big toe. “I was glad to see you, earlier.”
He draws closer. “Yeah?”
“Yes,” I tuck my hair behind my ears. “I’m sorry, too. For being so hard on you. Willow’s become my lifeline here, and I’d love it if you and I could be friends going forward.”
I meant it as an olive branch, but Aidan grimaces, suddenly widening the gap between us by several inches. “Because of Willow?”
I offer him a nod, then immediately get the impression it wasn’t the answer he wanted. He combs a hand through his shorter hair, a sad smile curling his lips. “You were right before. I don’t think I’d be a very good friend to you.”
An ache stings deep at the pit of my belly, my tongue parched. “Right. Of course.”
I move to leave, but he stops my escape, his hand hot on my shoulder. My lips part in a gasp at the smoldering heat crackling at the surface of my bare skin, and my gaze falls to his long fingers, wondering how such a small touch could feel so intense.
Aidan tucks both hands at his back, biting his bottom lip. “Don’t misunderstand me, Songbird. I wish I could be your friend, but my heart went wild the second I saw you… I can’t help it.”
“Were the new world women not to your liking?” I ask, thinking about the rumors I’ve heard. Aidan is a legend around here, and it’s hard to separate fact from fiction.
“To be clear, and only because you asked, I haven’t so much as looked at another woman since we’ve met. I want you, Songbird.” He reaches for my shoulder again, his hand sliding down my arm and leaving a trail of fire in its wake.
For a moment, I can’t see anything beyond the hope in his amber gaze, the magnetic pull of his magic, or the shape of his full, tense lips. The sea itself rises up at the chemistry between us, propelling me forward, and a splash of water wets my skirt.
When Aidan looks at me like that, I want to offer myself up as a sacrifice and head straight into his flames, consequences be damned. Peel the fabric off his sculpted shoulders and kiss every inch of his skin. Burn at the stake of his pyre for the ever-growing, dangerous pull he has on me, despite all my bravado. Because when he’s close, the thought of marrying, loving, or even touching any other man is heresy. Everything else feels less real than him.
And it scares me to my core. “I-I can’t.” Without looking back, I skip out of reach and jog up the beach to the stone path heading back to the Abbey, never looking back.
I can’t, but I’m dying to.
Aidan and I could never be together, not in any official capacity, but I would love to know what it feels like to give into the fantasy. To indulge in the maddeningly detailed scenarios that have plagued my dreams, and lose myself to the flames. I’d be free to burn , even if it charred my heart forever. But a fire as bright as Aidan would certainly leave its trace. Zeke would be bound to find out. If I broke it off with him first, Willow would promise to lend me money, but she’s not of age, and I’m sure her father would find a way to prevent her from doing it. Even Elio couldn’t help me without his father’s approval, and from what I understand, Ethan Lightbringer is pretty tight with Aidan’s father.
Nothing has changed. Giving in to my attraction to Aidan will jeopardize my future, but now that the initial fear has dwindled, now that I can’t dismiss his attention for something that’ll blow over in a few days, I’m reeling.
It’s getting harder and harder to say no.