The Prince’s Heart

31. Chapter 31

Chapter thirty-one

S ometime later, I’m sitting in a bed in the private infirmary, my ears ringing, when Emma and Kenessa rush in, with near-identical stricken looks on their faces. Emma’s mouth moves, but all I can hear is a muffled sound, like my ears are stuffed with cotton.

“You’ll have to speak up,” I say, hearing myself more through the vibrations of my bones than the sound of my voice. “The healer said it could take a few hours for my hearing to come back.”

They both come closer, looking somewhat less nervous.

“Are you alright?” Emma asks. Or, at least, I think that’s what she said. It’s still hard to tell, even though she’s clearly screaming the words, based on the way Kenessa flinches. “Other than the hearing, I mean.”

“I’m fine,” I assure her. “My ears hurt a bit, but the healer said that should go away once my hearing comes back.”

Emma rolls her eyes as Kenessa sighs in apparent relief. “What in the world happened?” the latter asks. “We heard there was an accident and that somebody might have gotten hurt, but nobody seemed to know for certain.”

“Arbois and I went to watch the garrison try out a new cannon,” I explain; Emma tries her best to look interested, even though she already knows this. “The idea was for us to inspect it up close, and then go to a safe distance while the soldiers fired it. But one of the soldiers made a mistake, and the cannon accidentally went off while we were sitting on our horses right next to it. Laya barely reacted at all, but Arbois’s horse was startled by the noise.”

“Well, I’m glad you’re alright,” Kenessa says. “What happened to Arbois? Did he get hurt?” She can’t quite hide the hope in her voice.

“His horse bucked him off.” I try to keep the relief I’m feeling out of my voice, just in case one of the healers is listening in. “Belling said he looked fine when he landed, but apparently he tried to get up too quickly, and his horse kicked him in the head. It was pretty bad. Belling had the soldiers rush him to the infirmary, but he was bleeding quite a bit, and I don’t think he woke up before we got separated.” I give Emma a brief meaningful look, careful of the prying eyes and ears around us. “In any event, the healers said they’d update me as soon as they know more. Hopefully that means we’ll get some good news soon.”

She meets my gaze, her expression carefully neutral. “Hopefully we will,” she says. “Hopefully we will.”

Not long after that, the healers let me return to my chambers. They say there’s no reason for me to stay in the infirmary, but I think they just want us to leave so they don’t have to deal with our voluble conversations anymore.

Emma and Kenessa join me in my study. My hearing gets progressively better over the next hour or so, to the point where I can hear them with their voices at a normal volume, although the ringing sound takes longer to recede.

We sit here, waiting with bated breath, for another couple hours, until Arille finally arrives. She holds her head high, but the corners of her mouth are turned down a bit and there are beginnings of bags under her eyes. It may be a trick of the light, but she almost looks dejected; I don’t dare to let myself wonder why.

“I apologize for the wait, Your Majesty,” she says. Whatever it is she’s feeling inside, her tone is as professional as ever. “However, the other healers and I thought it would be best to wait until we had something definitive to tell Your Majesty about His Grace’s condition.”

My heart is pounding, but I try to keep my tone even. “I understand. Do you have an update for me?”

She nods. “I do, Your Majesty.” She pauses and takes a deep breath. “Unfortunately, His Grace’s injuries were quite severe. We tried our best, but we were unable to save him.”

When she finishes speaking, my heart stops racing. “Thank you, Arille,” I reply, trying desperately to sound how I should sound in this situation, whatever that is. Keep it together, Darien . “I’m sure you did your best.”

She bows to me again and turns to go, closing the door behind her. It latches shut with a loud click that resounds in the otherwise silent room. Emma and Kenessa both have near-identical expressions of unease on their faces, and I don’t doubt that I look similar.

In truth, the plan was never to kill Arbois. Wound him, perhaps even so badly he’d never be a threat to Soeria again, absolutely. But kill him? I knew it was a possibility, but it was never my intention.

But what’s done is done. After a few more moments of contemplation, I stand up and walk over to the door, making sure it’s closed. The three of us have quite a bit to talk about, and I don’t want to be overheard.

The next day, once my hearing is fully healed, I invite the Jirenian ambassador to the palace so I can give her my own condolences in person. Fortunately, even though she’s clearly upset about the whole thing, she accepts my explanation that it was nothing more than bad luck.

Together, the ambassador and I make arrangements to ship Arbois’s body back to Segaron. She also requests that I hold an official memorial service for him, and I agree with as good of grace as I can muster. At least after this I’ll never have to think about him again.

The service is held in the same room where Samis’s and Father’s funerals were held not too long ago. It feels … disrespectful, somehow, but his misdeeds are still a secret, and that means he has to be given the honor that a visiting prince deserves.

Before and during the funeral, I do my best to play the part of a grieving fiancé, but, inside, my emotions are much more complicated. The council seems to think I’m devastated, based on the way they treat me at the meeting where we plan the memorial service, but they’re obviously mistaken.

In fact, if I’m being honest, the worst part is that I don’t feel bad. I could lie to myself and say it’s because he killed my father and brother, but that’s not true. Or, at least, not completely true. He hurt my family, and I can never forgive him for that, but what truly scared me was what he would have done in the future. He made it quite clear that he was willing to harm my country—not to mention Tag, and everyone else that I love—to achieve his goals. His death could save the lives of tens, if not hundreds, of thousands. If the price of saving those lives is having his blood on my hands…

But it’s too late to worry about that now. The price has been paid, and all I can do is try my hardest to make sure I don’t have to pay a similar cost ever again.

The days after the memorial service feel … strange. I don’t quite know how to describe it. The entire court is in mourning, and officially so am I. But despite whatever misgivings I may have about Arbois’s death my own part in it, I’m happier than I’ve been in weeks, even if I can’t show it. The knowledge that my country, my family, and myself are safe is a powerful balm. In truth, there’s just one thing missing, but I don’t quite allow myself to think about that just yet, as much as I may want to.

Finally, after one interminable week, the official mourning period ends, and I can wait no longer. The very next morning, I rise early, eat a quick breakfast, and go find Emma in her study. “I need to ask you a favor,” I begin, wasting no time on pleasantries. “I’m sorry for dropping all this on you last minute, but I have to leave the palace. I’ll be away for a week or two, and I need you to take care of things here while I’m gone. I’m going to—”

“I know where you’re going,” she interrupts. “Go. I’ll make up some excuse for why you’re out of the palace. I can handle everything until you get back.” A light smile creases her face. “To be honest, I’m surprised you waited this long.”

“I am too. But I can’t wait any longer.” In fact, I’m already walking toward the exit as I speak. “Thanks, Emma! I’m sure you’ll do a wonderful job.”

She says something in response, but I’m already out of earshot, walking with purpose for what feels like the first time in a while, my heart soaring as I take the first steps on the long journey to Zeteyon, where the man I love waits.