The Problem with Falling (Problems #3)

Chapter 40

CHAPTER 40

Willow

I ’d been staying at Avery and Nathan’s house for the past few weeks, helping them take care of the twins. During breaks of not washing dishes, cooking meals, and holding the two most adorable babies ever, I’d pull out a road map to plot out my next adventure. Arizona was probably nice in the wintertime. It had been a while since Big Bird and I took a solid road trip. Yet planning the trip didn’t seem as thrilling as before. It all felt a little…empty.

As I rocked baby Riley in my arms, Nathan popped his head into the nursery. “Hey, Willow?”

“Yeah?”

“Someone’s at the door for you.”

“For me?”

“Yup. I can take Riley for you. I should probably get her a bottle going, too.” Nathan took Riley into his arms and stared at her like she was the greatest gift he’d ever received. He stared at Sterling the same way. Watching him and Avery become parents felt like such a treasure to witness. They kept going on and on about how grateful they were that I stayed around to help them out, but truthfully, I was thankful to have their new bundles of joy to distract me from my own thoughts.

My thoughts that only revolved around Theo and how much I missed him.

I walked through the house and then stepped out onto the front porch. I arched an eyebrow, and my heart started beating faster when I saw who stood there. “Theo, what are you—”

He held up a piece of paper. “I read your letter.”

“Oh, I…”

He unfolded it and read. “Thank you for a lovely summer, signed Willow.” He tossed his hand up in frustration. “What the hell was that, Willow? ‘Thank you for a lovely summer’? That’s it? That’s all you could come up with?”

I bit my lip and shook my head. “I didn’t know what to—”

“I was wrong about you. You’re not my clementine,” he coldly stated as he stood on the front porch. Those words only took a second to feel like a punch to my gut. But he continued, his eyes simmering with irritation. “You’re a damn hummingbird. A hyper, nonstop, dizzying hummingbird that crashed into my life uninvited. You talk a mile a minute as if the world would end if you didn’t keep yapping. You move around on your tiptoes as if you’re scared the solid ground is hot lava. You buzzed into my life, and then you buzzed out of my life, like a goddamn hummingbird. And it’s been fucking infuriating watching you dart around like nothing can catch you. Like you’re untouchable, and then you have enough nerve to buzz around my fucking heart nonstop yet never really landing.”

“Theo, I—”

“Wait. I’m not done,” he said, cutting me off. He paused, glanced at the porch, raked a hand through his hair, and then sighed. “Do you know what you’ve done to me? Do you know how much you buzzing in and buzzing out fucked with my head? It drove me mad thinking about you these past few weeks. I drove down here livid for the past five hours, too. You pissed me off, Willow, but I can’t truly be mad because I know you.”

My eyes started to water. I shook my head. “No, you think you know me, but—”

“ I know you ,” he repeated. He stepped closer. My heart beat faster. “I know you like your eggs scrambled, but you’ll say over easy because you know that’s how I like mine. I know you cry over the same rom-coms every single time even though you know how they end. I know you feel everything—and I mean everything —fifty million times more than anyone else on this planet. I know you smile when you want to cry. I know you cry when you want to scream. I know you chuckle when your heart is breaking.”

I let out a small laugh.

My heart was breaking.

Theo stepped closer, his eyes still on me. “I know the different shades of brown that your eyes turn based on how the sunlight hits them. I know the freckles running across your cheeks. I know the birthmark shaped like an apple on your behind.” He released a breath slowly, and I inhaled it as my own. “I know you’re scared. Of me. Of us. Of everything. I know you run away when you really want to stay. And let me be very damn clear—I know you really fucking wanted to stay with me. But I also know that you aren’t meant to stand still. And I know you’re not meant to be caged or rooted in one place, but the truth is you’ve been stuck in the cage of your mind and guilt for decades. You’ve been buzzing around with chains attached to your wings, pretending you’ve been free. That’s not what I want for you, Willow. I want you to be really free to fly like you’re meant to. You’re meant for higher heights.”

Tears flooded my eyes as he continued to talk.

“And I might not always understand hummingbirds. I might not get why you buzz and need to move nonstop, but I respect it. I love it, even. I think that’s what makes you… you . The real you, I mean, not the one chained to grief. But I see sparks of your true self. Your true self is alive in a way I’ll never be. Your true self is what lights up this world. We’re different, you and I, but I think that’s why we make sense. I might not be built to flit around and chase the wind, but I’m built to stay. To stand still. To be rooted and sturdy.”

He stepped in closer, and his voice softened. “So I drove five hours to let you know that I’m still here waiting patiently, hoping that you keep buzzing around for the rest of forever. Keep being exactly who you are because that’s all I’d ever want you to be.” He locked his eyes with mine, and a tiny smirk curved his lips. “And when you get tired, or when the world gets too big and feels overwhelming—I’ll be right here. No matter how far you fly, I’ll always be a safe place for you to land.”

I couldn’t produce words. Tears streamed down my cheeks as I closed my eyes to breathe. I felt Theo’s lips fall against my forehead before he whispered that he loved me.

I pulled away from him, almost unsure of the words he said. “What did you say?”

“I said I love you,” he stated as clear as day.

“You love me?”

“Yes.” He nodded. “ Most ardently .”

Those words felt as if they’d come from Mr. Darcy’s mouth himself.

He then stepped away and started to walk back down the porch steps.

“Where are you going?” I asked.

“Back home. I just came to deliver you that message.”

“You drove five hours to tell me that, only to drive five hours back?”

“Yes.”

He didn’t even know it, but he was healing parts of my heart he never even broke.

“Theo?”

“Yeah?”

“I love you, too.”

He smiled.

He already knew.

He started walking backward, still keeping his eyes on me. “You were right about one thing, though.” He held the piece of paper up in the air. “It was a lovely summer.”

Theo then climbed into his truck, put it into drive, and drove away, back toward Westin Lake. I stood there frozen for a moment before Avery walked out, holding Sterling as she fed him.

“Was that Theo I saw driving off?” she asked.

“Yes, it was.”

“Why did he leave so fast?”

“He came to tell me that he loved me, and that was all, so then he left.”

Avery arched an eyebrow. “He drove all the way from Westin Lake just to tell you he loved you? Then hopped in his truck to drive back home?”

“Uh-huh.”

“Oh. Hmph .” Avery finished feeding Sterling, then placed him over her shoulder to burp him. “You know what, little sister?”

“What’s that?”

“He loves you.”

I smiled a little even though my heart was breaking. “Yeah, he does.”

“And you love him?”

Tears rolled down my cheeks as I nodded and laughed. “Most ardently.”

Avery moved in closer to me and rested her head against my shoulder. “Can I give you some solid sisterly advice you didn’t ask for?”

“Go for it.”

“Take the time to heal. Heal for yourself, then heal for him. But also know that you don’t have to be perfectly healed to be loved by another. Nathan was patient enough to teach me that lesson.”

I glanced over to see tears in Avery’s eyes. I tilted my head, surprised. “Are you…crying?”

“What? No. I don’t cry.”

“But you are crying. Those are tears.”

“Are you sure they aren’t spit-up? It’s probably spit-up,” she joked, wiping at her eyes.

“Oh my goodness, Avery is crying. The queen of not feeling is feeling everything. Welcome to my world.”

She grumbled. “Being married to a lover boy like Nathan and motherhood are making me soft.”

“Softness looks good on you, sister.”

“It looks even better on you.”

“I’m scared,” I whispered.

She nodded. “I know, but a wise woman once told me that we can still do difficult things even when we’re scared.” She winked at me and patted my shoulder. “Now go do the difficult work. Go heal, baby sister. Heal and allow yourself to fall into that man who you love. Don’t worry about falling, either. I know good men like Theo. I have a great man like him. If you fall, I promise he’ll catch you.”