Chapter 15
CHAPTER 15
Brianna wandered in and out of stalls for most of the afternoon, she had a pouch filled with coins that Aidan had pressed into her hand hours ago but had yet to buy anything. It wasn’t that she hadn’t admired some lovely items, she had—fabrics and jewelry, painted tiles and tapestries, wooden bowls and iron pots, and even some things that might be useful, too, like soaps, sachets filled with dried flower petals, kerchiefs, even little covered tins that she could use to keep her things in—but she couldn’t enjoy the experience like she might have if she didn’t feel so…out of sorts.
She probably wouldn’t have felt quite so terribly self-conscious if she hadn’t noticed a man looking at her so oddly, almost with scorn, but it happened so quickly she couldn’t be sure. Besides, after Aidan had assured her that there was nothing wrong with her appearance, she’d felt silly for being self-conscious, something she’d never worried about before. Realistically, she knew that she was dressed appropriately for the time, (more than, considering the quality of her clothing), but she’d picked up on some lingering stares as she and Aidan had started their walk through town. It was obvious that he was well-known and respected, and she supposed that he had been keeping her rather close, so maybe it was that they’d never seen him with a woman before. Or that they were used to seeing him with a different woman…other women. It was when she’d had that thought that she’d winced earlier, and, okay, maybe made a sound of disgust. Aidan had been concerned, as nothing ever seemed to get past him. Since there was no way she was going to tell him she was jealous of a possibly non-existent, imaginary woman, or maybe a string of women, it took a few minutes to convince him that she was fine.
Once they’d started walking again, he’d pointed out the local market streets, and just beyond it, the fair, easily large enough to rival any back home. Livestock and horses, tents, and rows of stalls, open tables, and food and drinks galore. It was something that should have been enjoyable, an experience of a lifetime especially for her, but after her day with Aidan yesterday—so simple and on the surface innocuous, but brimming with meaning and connection underneath. She’d never imagined having anything like that with anyone, let alone a man with such a presence and immense power. But Aidan was also thoughtful, measured, and deliberate, and so she found his words and deeds all the more meaningful and romantic coming from him. He hadn’t pressed her about her past, or how she came to be here, even though she knew he had to suspect. She almost showed him her medallion but changed her mind. Later she thought she’d show him the insignia inside her satchel, but again hesitated. She couldn’t imagine it would be long before he spotted her tattoo and would recognize the symbol. “Pfff,” a breath escaped her as she realized that she’d unwittingly branded herself as property of Pembrooke. Huh . She paused. Maybe that made her of the house of Pembrooke too.
When she felt a set of hands on her shoulders, she prayed they belonged to Aidan, then realized they must, considering how close he’d stayed to her. He and Henry had been following along behind her, watching her from a respectable distance, if three feet was the current standard for a respectable distance. Though they did afford her a bit more space if she stepped inside a stall after they’d deemed it safe for her to enter. It was sweet if not a little overkill.
When she turned, Aidan was gazing down at her with concern, and she counted her blessings again. Fate and destiny aside, if this truly was her home now, her life, spending it with Aidan Sinclair was the best outcome she could’ve imagined. Aidan Sinclair, and the House of Pembrooke. She brushed her tattoo, as she covered his hand, wondering again what all of this meant. When she’d asked him before if he knew of Pembrooke, she’d never imagined that he would know it so well because it was his home—or, she considered now, was that the reason why she’d been so fascinated with it ever since she was young? Another connection leading to their ultimate fate?
“What is it?” Aidan asked, his eyes searching hers.
“What is what?” she asked, liking the weight of his hands on her shoulders, pouting a bit when he moved them.
“Well.” He sighed, holding her head in his hands. “You’ve been looking for hours and have naught to show for it.”
“I’m sorry.” She shrugged. It was all she could offer.
“Brianna, you seem forlorn, yet you should be beside yourself. I brought you to a mecca of the very things I’ve seen you delight over time and time again.”
She smiled. That was sweet, and true, but she had so much on her mind. She was so confused.
“I’d love some more of that tea you found,” she said, realizing that she’d be happy going back to the ship. Wow, that was powerful—choosing an afternoon talking and playing games over a day spent examining historical objects. She almost laughed remembering how Aidan had gone on about Tiny Tim trying to eat the bathtub for some time. It was a good thing she hadn’t told him it wasn’t wood—porcelain might have sent him over the edge.
“I’ve plenty more tea. But I’ll do better than that. We’ll sup at the Inn tonight. The food there is almost as good as what you’ll find at Abersoch. But first, you must find something for yourself in the stalls.”
“But —
Aidan shook his head. “Humor me, one item, no matter.”
Brianna smiled, suddenly feeling a bit lighter. Maybe she’d just needed some direction, or maybe Aidan suggesting dinner with her in town had something to do with it. There was a pretty comb she’d seen, and those tins she was kind of obsessing about now. She was trying to remember exactly where she’d seen the tins when she spotted a man behind the stall nearly dragging a gaunt and bedraggled mare along beside him. Brianna was horrified at the sight. That poor thing, she’d clearly been mistreated, and looked so hopeless.
“Does my item have to be in a stall, Aidan?” she asked, laser-focused on the mare.
“Where you find it matters naught.”
Her decision was made then and there. “Aidan,” she whispered, clutching his cloak and nodding toward the mare. “I want her.”
Aidan stepped back at her tone and turned to see what had caused her sudden reaction. He wasn’t pleased either. “We can try,” he said, shaking his head, “but I beg you, don’t get your hopes up. And if you show too much interest, he might refuse just to see you suffer, aye.”
“Like you wouldn’t believe.”
He grunted, so she was pretty sure he understood what she meant.
When the man was close enough, she called out, “Sir,” surprising herself with her boldness. He ignored her and kept moving. “ Sir .” Brianna hurried through the back of the stall and came up behind him, trying not to look at the mare, lest she start crying and show her hand. Still, the man paid her no mind when she called after him again. Steeling herself, she ran ahead of him, and stopped, out of breath, but placed her hand out, and said loudly, “ SIR!”
Not happy that she’d interrupted him, he snarled, “Out of my way, lass.”
Brianna planted herself in front of him. “Sir, I only need a moment. I would like to purchase your mare.”
He looked at her oddly. “Why? She’s not for sale.”
“I’ll give you my entire purse.” She had no idea how much the money in the small bag was worth, but when Aidan pressed it into her hands, she was surprised by its weight. He’d only shrugged and winked, so she was pretty sure he’d passed her the medieval equivalent of a Black Card. Some of the booths Aidan had guided her toward were filled with very expensive wares, so she wagered it was quite a lot.
The man looked at her for a long moment, then at the horse, seeming to consider her offer. Brianna knew she (and the mare) probably only had this one chance. If she didn’t get her now, the man might later be angered by the exchange and abuse her even more. Brianna said a litany of silent prayers, and when he pointed at the bag in the palm of her hand, she made an effort to remain expressionless.
“How do I know it’s not filled with sand or worthless pennies.”
He had a point, but she acted as though he couldn’t be more wrong. “I assure you, it’s not,” she said, leaning into her air of authority, then spilled the contents into the palm of her hand for him to see. Oh, good Lord, these weren’t even coins. Aidan gave her a bag filled with what looked like pure minted silver. The man went bug-eyed, he clearly liked what he saw.
“You mean to offer all that, for her,” he said, elbowing the mare (probably to get whatever last jabs in that he could, Brianna thought). The mare didn’t make a sound, though Brianna caught a slight movement in her nostrils.
It wasn’t easy, but Brianna continued to feign indifference while funneling the coins back into the bag. “The choice is yours. It’s just that I’m in need of a horse, the reason is unimportant.” Then she cast what she hoped was a conspiratorial look, evil liked company.
He sneered back, a little gleeful. Sick man. He gave her a curt nod, then held out his hand.
“The reins, sir.”
They made an awkward but even exchange, passing reins, and the bag filled with coins at the same moment. Once Brianna had possession of the horse, she continued with her stoic charade, though she did gently motion the mare to safety. Then, she stood in front of her, waiting for the man to leave, and if justice served, he’d fall into a ditch and never get out. Just when she thought the whole unfortunate episode was over, her breath caught as none other than the rough sailor who’d grabbed Kitty walked up to the man .
“That’s her, Da,” said the sailor from the ship. “she was with the man who threatened me,” he said, jabbing his finger in her direction.
Brianna steeled herself for another confrontation, but this time the stakes couldn’t have been higher. Somehow, she knew she could do it, because in those few seconds that had followed this new and impending threat, she’d fully dug her heels in, not just to her immediate situation, but to fate, destiny, and the fifteenth century itself. This was her new reality, and she liked who she was in it. These men would not bring down the house of Pembrooke— her house—not on her watch.
Summoning all the bravado she could, Brianna stood tall and proud, then took a step forward. “I can assure you, Sir , he did no such thing,” she said, disdain lacing her words. She knew she was laying it on thick, but with her adamant denial of Henry’s threat, such an insult couldn’t be allowed. If God was going to strike her dead for lying, at least she’d saved the mare and Henry’s reputation. A small price to pay for belonging to Sinclair and the House of Pembrooke. She puffed up a little more at the thought, surprised again by the extra bolt of confidence it brought.
“Is that so?” The man was looking between her and his son, skeptical.
Brianna knew this wasn’t over, but hoped if she hit the right tone and chose the right words, it might be. “I said it was. Do you think I would lie? Do you know who I am?” She kept her tone even, trying for regal. Her delivery must have hit correctly because she detected a bit of fear in the man’s eyes, and she wasn’t ashamed to say that she felt completely emboldened by it. “I am Brianna O’Roarke. I can trace my family lineage for nearly a millennium. Furthermore, I am promised to Sinclair and the House of Pembrooke.” She threw that one in for good measure, recalling how it had sounded so theatrical when Henry had said it the other day. She wanted to add, ‘Be grateful, I don’t release my dragons!’ but knew that would be too much, and possibly more confusing than anything else, so she settled on just thinking about it, which was just as empowering. Then she made a show of straightening her skirts, quite proud of herself, before turning with as much regal flair as possible.
She nearly tripped at the sight of Aidan and Henry, who had somehow managed to come up behind her while she was busy ensuring the survival of their dynasty. Their show of solidarity—arms crossed and glowers icy enough to freeze a man dead—warmed her heart, and she beamed.
Take that, you miserable knaves.
She walked past the men with her mare, and when she brushed up against Aidan, he squeezed her arm, and she knew he was pleased with the show she’d put on. She had no idea where she was going, but it wasn’t long before Aidan was beside her. He took her free hand and walked them around the tents and then pulled her and the mare off to the side. While he looked over the horse, Brianna stroked her snout and whispered sweetly into her ear. “It’s okay,” she crooned “One day you’ll live with us. ”
At this, Aidan’s head whipped around, but she dismissed him with a shrug, not sure why he was so surprised. If he was just waiting for her ‘verbal consent’ or whatever, wasn’t living together at some point pretty much a foregone conclusion? The mare nudged her hand, and she resumed petting her behind the ears. Wordlessly, Aidan came up beside her and started giving the horse some affection too. He shook his head, smiling as he reached out to her. “What you did today is commendable, Brianna. It’s one thing to see an injustice, another to take action to correct it.”
Brianna stepped into his arms and fell into his embrace, only realizing then how scary that whole encounter had been. She felt his chin dip down to graze her face. She liked that and leaned into his touch.
“Do you think she’ll be alright?” she asked, pulling away and looking up at him.
“Aye. We’ll take her to Glenn, he has stables nearby and cares for many horses. I’m not sure she’d make any journey right now, be it by sea or land. But I think he’ll take care to see that she thrives. If she has the will.”
“She does.”
“Aye, if she’s anything like her new mistress, I’ve no doubt.”
Brianna warmed at that. “Thank you,” she said. “For standing by me. For supporting me and believing in my cause.”
His fingers brushed down the side of her face. “Brianna, you make me proud, lass.” He gave her another squeeze and gestured to take the reins from her. She stroked the mare again, and whispered, “He’s good people, don’t worry.”
Something had shifted between them, Brianna could feel it. Whatever it was, it had occurred in the time since she’d first seen the mare to now, and as they began walking again, she leaned against him, and he wrapped his arm around her shoulders as if it was the most natural thing in the world. After a moment, he pulled her closer to graze her with his chin again, a gesture she was growing quite fond of.
Aidan spoke then. “If I told you I knew where we could enjoy a feast of whole grilled fish, roasted vegetables, and mayhap a spot of fine wine, would you be interested?”
She stopped and looked up at him. “Don’t tease me, Aidan Sinclair, or I may have to release my dragons.”
When he smiled down at her, he wore a look she hadn’t seen before, though if she had to guess, it was the look of a man who was about to kiss her, or at the very least was thinking about it. Never in a million years (or seven hundred give or take a decade or two) would Brianna ever have imagined that the spark she’d been missing for so long would be ignited on a worn dirt road in medieval Scotland with a fifteenth-century Highland Laird. Something about it was so bittersweet.
Aidan’s expression changed to one of concern, and he cupped her face, looking deeply into her eyes, “Brianna? Are you alright, lass? ”
She didn’t realize she’d been looking at him so intently, but she smiled and nodded, “Yes. I think I found the magic, Aidan.”
“Aye, I believe we both did.”
Brianna was having the most wonderful dream about the visit she and her grandfather had made to Scotland when she was still a little girl. It had been a couple of years after the accident that took her parents. In her dream, they were inside his office at Dunhill, which was strewn with opened files and piled-up objects. Papers were tacked to the wall, alongside all kinds of maps, ancient-looking ones hung beside more modern ones, seemingly with no rhyme or reason.
Then, her eyes shot open, and for a moment, Brianna couldn’t tell if she was dreaming or awake. She’d forgotten about those years and her grandfather’s obsession with some family mystery or another. Still half-asleep, she closed her eyes again, hoping to go back there, and must have dozed off because she saw herself again as a girl, and her grandfather was running down the hallway toward where she was playing in front of the fireplace. Brianna looked up when she heard him hooting and hollering, startled when he scooped her up and spun her around, laughing as her jacks scattered all over the place. This was the day her grandfather had first discovered Pembrooke. Brianna remembered how it had looked to her when she first saw it—the most beautiful fairytale castle she’d ever seen—and how she’d gone off to play while her grandfather studied the stonework.
Now, Brianna woke again with a start, the images still so present in her mind. She hadn’t thought about that day in years. She was surprised she’d dreamt about it, just as it had happened, and desperate to go back again, she quickly laid down and closed her eyes. As if she was meant to see it, her dream returned, and there was the little garden she’d found at Pembrooke, and the rock that had those initials carved into it, she’d forgotten all about them...as she knelt, brushing her hand over the deep etchings to sweep away the dirt, she heard someone call her name. But…it wasn’t her grandfather’s voice, and that confused her because he’d called her just after she’d found the rock and discovered?—
“Breea. Wake up, sweetheart.”
Startled, Brianna froze. Mama? Was that Mama calling her? Mama wasn’t at Pembrooke.
“Breea, come, love, you must wake up now.”
Papa? She felt a rush sweep through her from her head to her toes. They were here! She could feel them! Mama, Papa! She tried turning around but, couldn’t move.
“Breea, you need to get up.”
She wanted to tell them she was trying but she couldn’t. “Mama? Papa? Where are you?”
“brEEA!”
Brianna bolted upright with a gasp, hearing Aidan as he bellowed her name and pounded on her door. “Brianna!” he hollered again just before her door splintered open and he rushed inside. He started grabbing things and throwing them in her bag, then reached for Kitty and secured her into her sling, which he flung around Brianna’s shoulders. All this while she sat there dazed, confused, and wondering what on earth was happening.
“Aidan, what?—”
Then she smelled it. Her face fell and her stomach dropped as she looked at him in horror. “Fi…” fire . She couldn’t get the word out. It didn’t matter that they were close enough to land to swim to shore, they had to survive the fire and get off the ship first. Oh, God, no! Nonono…
“We must go,” Aidan said, grabbing her and pulling her from where she was frozen and scared in the bed. He pushed her behind him as they entered the hallway, which was crowded as everyone scrambled for safety. When they reached the ladder, he pushed her up from behind, stopping her before she started up the next.
“Nay, there!” he said, pointing to a set of stairs she hadn’t noticed before. They led to a less crowded part of the main deck, but after Aidan hoisted her into Henry’s outstretched arms and he set her upright, Brianna stumbled as images from her childhood flashed before her eyes—the eerie darkness, the odd glow of firelight, and the unforgettable sound of crackling wood as the vessel that was supposed to keep them safe was now compromised. For a moment she felt terror’s grip, watching the men jumping into the water below but then Aidan’s strong arms wrapped around her, carrying her away from the frenzy and setting her down to help Henry, who was taking an ax to part of the railing. Aidan began ripping it away with his bare hands, then turned back to her.
“When I say jump, jump,” he said, eyes blazing. Brianna stared at him. She’d never seen him so intent. “Do you understand? Brianna—do you understand?”
She felt Kitty curled up against her and panicked. “Take her,” she said.
He shook his head. “My weight?—”
She felt her eyes widen, as she realized they would sink beneath the surface first, then would have to swim back upward. He grasped her arms. “Brianna! Out, not down. As far as you can.” She felt herself nodding but saw his face set grimly. She hadn’t realized she’d backed up, until he lunged for her, sweeping his arm around her back and using the momentum to propel them both forward and off the ship with enough force to clear the anchor lines. He let go of her just before they hit the water.
It was cold, but it wasn’t the icy chill that stunned her, it was being surrounded by saltwater as she sank beneath the surface. A sensation she’d never wanted to feel again. Brianna fought back her fear, pushed through her memories, and kicked until she broke the surface, gasping and calling for Aidan.
“Aidan!” She spun around, waiting for him to resurface. “ Aidan! ”
She started to panic but saw him then, swimming toward her. “It’s okay,” he said, using her word from earlier that night and reaching for Kitty the second he was next to her. “We’re okay. On your back, you know how to float, aye?”
She nodded and grabbed his face. “You’re okay, right?”
He nodded back, then smiled and leaned in and kissed her, so quickly that she knew it was just to reassure her. Still, the feeling of his lips on hers and the look in his eyes righted something in her and she felt herself calm ever so slightly.
“We’re unharmed,” Aidan said. “I swear it. Look.”
He was right, the harbor was filled with small boats already helping sailors from the water. Some had even made it to the pier and were already being lifted to safety. They weren’t out in open waters, after all. Aidan let Brianna make her own assessment and he must have felt her relax, because he turned her around and swam toward one of the boats that had come to help, pulling Brianna along with him. Suddenly remembering Henry, Brianna whipped around but saw that he was swimming with steady, sure strokes right behind them.
After Aidan had settled her in a safe spot, wrapping her in a blanket that someone had pressed his way, he left to help the men trying to douse the fire. She wasn’t sure how long she sat there watching, but it was sad to see Captain John finally give up and jump from the deck. It didn’t appear that anyone was hurt, but she hoped the ship wasn’t a total loss. When Aidan came back, he nodded to someone behind her, and she turned, not realizing that he’d stationed a few men to watch over her.
“Come,” he said. “I’ve secured lodgings for the night.”
She didn’t ask about the accommodations, but she’d already decided that she wasn’t going to be sleeping alone. She hadn’t quite figured out what that looked like yet, although the reality was setting in, in the immediate future (like, soon), but after tonight, she was grabbing the O’Roarke lore by the horns—starting now. It wasn’t long before they arrived at a quaint cottage just beyond the outskirts of town. Aidan introduced her to the owners, Adam and his wife Charlotte, who greeted them outside. Brianna thought that Adam had the unmistakable look of a warrior himself, and it suddenly occurred to her that Aidan wouldn’t choose just anywhere for them to stay. He’d selected this inn not just for its solitude but because he knew she’d be safe there.
Once inside, Charlotte fussed after her while Adam and their teenage son helped Aidan and Henry gather supplies to take back to the harbor. When Charlotte started leading her upstairs, Brianna looked over at Aidan, wondering if this was goodnight.
His eyes were already on her. “I’ll be up before I leave to go see to the ship, but not for some time,” he said. When she entered the room, Brianna found it was already warm, with a nice-size bed, a small table for private meals, and a dressing area. She smiled in anticipation of a hot bath, seeing a few large pails of steaming water and a stack of linens set beside a substantial tub.
After settling Kitty in a spot by the bed, Brianna reached for her bag, still waterlogged even hours after it had been pulled from the harbor. As she was inspecting the seams, looking for any damage, her fingers met a hard disc, and she breathed a sigh of relief. Her medallion was still secure inside, right where she’d tucked it into the secret pocket the morning they’d left Abersoch. She’d almost shown it to Aidan that day they’d spent together on the ship, but something had stopped her. The medallion was so meaningful to her, with what she thought of as her symbol on one side, and the image of the bear on the other. Even the infinity knot, etched into the rim moved her so. But that day on the ship had been filled with its own meaning, and although, according to Aidan, they were nearly married after he’d pledged himself to her, she wasn’t quite ready to share the medallion with him, not yet. That all seemed so long ago now, but in reality, it had only been three days, days which felt like an entire lifetime. How else could she explain such a transformation in herself? How else was it that this medallion—a medallion that fate had almost literally handed to her, that she was sure was truly meant to be hers—had already slipped her mind? As she looked at it now, she marveled at how her focus had shifted so completely from her shiny (and very significant) object to Aidan, Kitty, and those around her. She placed it beneath the linens for now and then dumped the rest of the contents of her bag on the floor. Aidan had managed to grab a few of her things from the ship, but they were all wet. She did find a comb though, and Kitty’s harness that she put by the hearth to dry. Charlotte said that she’d left some things for her to wear and took her clothing to launder. When Brianna hesitated, the woman patted her hand.
“We’ve known Aidan a long time, I promise to take great care of your things.”
Brianna nearly teared up at her kindness and warmth. “They’re only things. It’s okay, I’m just a little turned around.”
“Och sweet, you’ve surely been watched out for, he’s good to the bone.”
Brianna nodded, even more emotional now. “Thank you.” The woman hugged her as if she could sense she could use it.
Since Aidan said he’d be a while, Brianna took her time bathing. The hot water felt so good, she soaked for what felt like ages and still had time to wash her hair before Aidan came up. The shift that had been laid out for her was plain but it was soft and fit her well. She’d just worked the comb through her hair and was knotting and pinning it up onto her head when Aidan rapped on the door and called her name.
“Come in,” she said, her words muffled slightly as she spoke around the hairpins she held between her lips. She couldn’t remember if she’d locked the door or not, and kept working at her hair as she made her way over. Aidan had just stepped inside as she was reaching for another pin, and when he spotted her, he stopped in his tracks. Brianna froze too, but she wasn’t really sure why, other than a reaction to Aidan doing it first.
“Are you okay?” she said, finishing up with her hair.
“Breea…I…you…” She wasn’t sure if he’d meant to call her Breea, or if it had happened inadvertently since he was clearly at a loss for words, emotional even, but she liked it. And seeing Aidan this way was certainly something. Not that Aidan was a cold man, far from it, really. Brianna knew that he felt deeply, but he was always so measured, always in control, even when he was furious. Something had shaken him, and she rushed over, truly concerned.
“Tell me,” she said, placing her hand on his chest while reaching for his face.
He covered both of her hands with his own, staring down at her, a look of disbelief on his face. She waited for him to speak, but he just shook his head. He seemed so torn, like he was struggling with something, but then he wrapped her in his arms, and for a moment she forgot everything and just held him back.
“I have to go back,” he finally said, rubbing his chin on her head before pulling away.
“I don’t need more time,” she blurted out, suddenly scared that if she didn’t say it now, she might not have another chance. That there might not be another time. She’d already awoken to another fire and found herself in yet another churning sea…life was too precarious, too short to risk losing what fate and destiny had gone to great lengths (nearly unimaginable lengths) to provide for her.
“More time?” he said almost absentmindedly as he rubbed her arms.
She knew then he had to be overwhelmed with everything else, otherwise he wouldn’t have had to ask. Brianna placed her hands on his chest and looked up at him. “Aidan…I want to be yours,” she began, noticing how his focus sharpened as she stared into his eyes. “Until my last breath.” They weren’t the exact words he’d said to her that night on the ship, but she could tell he knew what she meant. His eyes closed and he bowed his head, and when he looked at her again, with such emotion, she knew that this was where she was meant to be. He drank in her entire face as his hands moved up her arms and over her shoulders, up until he grasped her head in his hands. Then he bent to brush his lips over hers. It felt so good, that first real touch, and she nudged him back, her hum vibrating between them. He pulled away, staring at her, shaking his head for a second, before he looked down at her lips, and swept his thumb across them. His grip tightened, tilting her head just so as he bent down and pressed his lips to hers again, so fully, so passionately, so desperately, that she was stunned by it. And then he was gone. She stood where he’d left her, staring at the closed door, her hand covering her lips as the feeling of his kiss lingered. She still didn’t know what had happened, or what was bothering him, but she knew that Aidan was right, their marriage would fulfill the O’Roarke lore, she could feel it already.