The Prospect (Crawfield Football Club #3)

26. G R E E N

TWENTY-SIX

G R E E N

I couldn’t help but laugh when Wilks told me he fumbled the bag with Chelsie and spent the following morning deep-diving the internet in search of his idiocy.

I thought to myself, how can you miss the mark that badly? Read the signs so wrong that you ultimately end up going in the entirely opposite direction. But now, sitting here, staring off into nothing but the depths of my own self-pity, I’m starting to understand how he felt.

Though, unlike Wilks, I don’t need to sit here and debate my stupidity. The fact that I’ve gone fifteen years without uncovering my best friend's true feelings toward me speaks for itself.

Yet, as I’m faced with the reality I’ve been blind to all these years, I can’t help but wonder: why now?

It’s a simple enough question, am I right? Why, after all this time, has the truth finally decided to make itself known?

I ponder the thought for a moment, though not a single linear answer comes to mind, forcing me to huff out in frustration and toss another rock into the ravine below my feet.

It’s been a repetitious pattern, hoping to come to a conclusion but instead coming up unsuccessful.

I watch carefully as the water splashes up into the air and the stone sinks to the bottom. Yet, once the water settles, the rippling impact lingers until it eventually fades into nothing.

My eyes assess the visual that lies ahead, tilting my head back and forth in thought until finally, as if life is trying to give me the answers I’ve been searching so desperately for, it hits me.

Maybe, regardless of how ridiculous it sounds, I’m the stone and Hazel’s the water. Strange, I know, but what if the splashing up represents the two of us coming into each other’s lives? What if the rippling waves represent the highs and lows of our friendship? How we’ve come so far and never looked back.

But, like the waves, some things can’t last forever. Is that it? Have Hazel and I reached our expiry? Or is it that we need to make a new splash? A new beginning…

Fuck, I can’t tell if I’ve cracked the code here or am searching for answers out of nothing.

I shouldn’t be thinking about the rocks and the water and the waves. I should be thinking about the fact that the girl I'd been searching for all these years had been right in front of me all along.

I don’t think there’s anything else worse than that. Having the answer to every uncertainty stare you in the eyes and not once had you even considered it to be a possibility.

That thought alone absolutely kills me.

From the moment Hazel and I first met, it was as if everyone around us had this greater prophecy for our relationship. That no matter our objections, we were more than just best friends. Has everyone seen what I’d been blind to for so long?

“ I hate to say that I always had a feeling, Daniel .” The pained smile on Amira’s face as she released my hand and peered into my eyes told me everything I needed to know. “ You and Hazel …” She swallowed before she continued. “There’s always been something special between you two, despite your objections,” she admitted. “I guess it was my own fault for not realizing it sooner.”

“None of this is your fault…” I attempted to mitigate the colossal mess I’d managed to land myself in when Amira asked, “Do you have feelings for her, too?” And rather than a response, I’d chosen to remain silent.

They say sometimes silence is the best answer. The sheer sound of nothing can almost speak for itself, and in this instance, it did.

“You know what, Green,” Amira spoke so quietly that no one else could hear her. “I think I’m going to go.”

“Amira, stop. Please. Let me explain.” I tried to lower my voice as I followed her out of the house. “I…I didn’t mean for any of this to happen. I swear!”

“I know you didn’t, Daniel.” She was willing enough to give me that as she sighed in defeat, halting in place. “But if I’m being honest, the whole time I’ve been trying to fall for you, you’ve been falling for someone else right in front of my eyes. And the worst part, I don’t even think you realize just how in love with Hazel you really are…”

I didn’t know what to say. The truth felt like a knife stabbing me in the chest, but with the pain somehow came this unknowing sense of relief…pleasure.

It was as if all of a sudden, whether I realized it or not, with Amira’s confession, I didn’t have to hold back anymore.

“What is it, huh? Spit it out because I’m tired of this. Just be honest with me. Why are you acting this way?!”

Hazel’s question propelled through my mind in that moment, the moment before Amira opened up her car door and I prompted her to stop once more.

“Amira…please,” I pleaded, but truthfully, I didn’t know what exactly I was pleading for. I just knew that I felt awful— terrible, but seeing her so at peace with all of this made it that much worse.

“Hazel’s the one for you, Green,” she told me something I'd always known, perhaps all along. “And the sooner you come to terms with that… ” Her deep eyes peered down at the pavement before she pulled them back up. “The happier the both of you will be.”

“DANIEL!” Her voice could be drowning in a sea of people, and somehow, I’d still be able to hear her. “Green!” she shouts once more, and through the moonlight that cascades along the field, that’s when I see her—Hazel, paving her way through the dark and toward the bridge.

“Hazel?” I don’t know why I say her name with a sense of uncertainty. I know, without a doubt, it’s her. “What…what are you doing out here?”

I quickly remove myself from the ledge, my legs guiding me to meet her as she sprints her way in front of me.

“What am I doing here?” She’s practically breathless as she speaks. “What are you doing out here?!” She throws the question back at me. “Your mum told me that you were gone? That Amira left alone? What happened? Is everything okay?!”

“Hazel…” I hate to see her this way, so distraught—confused. It propels me to run a hand over my face in an attempt to avoid making direct eye contact. It’s no use though. I’m compelled to lock onto her once bright, now troubled eyes and suffer, knowing I’m the reason for it.

“You don’t need to worry about me or Amira, okay?” I try my best to appease her, but I know it’s no use. “I just…needed to escape for a little bit. Get some fresh air. That’s all.”

“All the way out here?” Hazel’s quick to counter in disbelief. “Surely something happened, Green. Tell me. Please?—”

“ Hazel .” I take a reluctant step in her direction. “Go back to the house, okay? It’s your birthday. You should be with Hart, not all the way out here fretting over me. So go, okay? Go .”

I attempt to walk away, yet as I turn on my heel, Hazel shouts, “No!” Stopping me in place.

I look back at her in an effort to plead, but it’s no use. She doesn’t let up.

“I’m not going back. I refuse. Hart isn’t the one I need to be with right now, Green. The only person I should be with is you .”

Her remark forces me to hiccup. I know she doesn’t mean what she’s saying in the way I wish she did, but still, I can’t help but feel a spout of optimism as she steps forward.

“I had to make sure you were okay,” she tells me without a slither of doubt. “How could I go on with my night knowing something could be wrong? That’s absurd. You realize that, right?”

I suck in a controlled breath as I gesture up and down my frame. “I’m fine,” I tell her. “So, you didn’t need to come after me. You…you wasted your time.”

Hazel stays put, visibly unsatisfied by my remark, as she shakes her head in dismay.

“Right.” She purses her lips into an unamused laugh. “Wasted my time. Is that so? So, tell me, Green, was you coming after me all those years ago a waste of your time as well?”

“Of course not.” I’m quick to retaliate. “Why would you even say that?”

“I don’t know.” Hazel shrugs her shoulders in defiance. “You tell me because apparently there seems to be a double standard happening here. Apparently, you coming after me is okay, but when I come after you it’s a waste of time? I mean, for God's sake, Green…” she’s practically yelling by now. “I know things are weird between us, but that doesn’t mean that even for one millisecond, I stopped caring about you! I mean, as if I ever could…”

Her voice fades into nothing, and now, as I stand frozen in place, all I’m left with is the echo that lingers and the visual of her.

When I first locked eyes with Hazel in the hustle and bustle of Ms. Murray's classroom, it felt like everyone else disappeared, and at that moment, it was just her, me, and those three primary colors.

Yellow: sunshine. Hazel has always been the brightest light in my life. The person who picks me up when I’m down and reminds me that no matter what, you can always find a light in the darkness. She’s been that for me—a light, a beacon of hope, whether she’s known it or not.

Blue: the color that accurately describes what life is like without her. Dull, sad. Missing a radiancy that you can only gather in her presence. She makes me laugh like no other, smile until my cheeks cramp beyond measure and possesses me to feel emotions that, deep down, I never thought I was capable of.

But most importantly, red: a single shade that I can only surmise as one feeling— love. Love looks different to everyone. I know that. Love isn’t always instantaneous or linear, sometimes love takes time to grow—evolve, to make itself known. But the best part of red is the fact that once you see it, you can’t unsee it, and now, standing in front of my eyes, all I can see is this glowing aura of red that surrounds Hazel as a voice tells me not to waste another second away from my happiness.

“You know what, Green? Just forget about it.” Hazel shakes her head in defeat, stumbling back a few steps. “You’re right. I shouldn't have come all this way. I wasted my time. I wasted my?—”

“Amira and I broke up.” The fact comes out so abruptly that it forces Hazel’s face to falter and her brows to crease, but it stops her from leaving and that…that means I’m off to a good start.

“You broke up?” she responds, voice full of uncertainty. “What? Why? Did something happen?” She can’t seem to stop the questions from spewing out of her mouth. “I…I don’t understand.”

“I do,” I confess, finding the confidence to take a slow, calculated step in her direction. “The two of us just realized we weren’t right for each other.”

Hazel opens her mouth to speak, but nothing comes out at first. “What made you come to that conclusion?” Her voice is shaky. “I thought she was the one you wanted? I mean...isn't she the one that inspired this whole plan to begin with?”

“You wanna know what I think of the plan right now, Hazel?” I ask rhetorically, watching as she gulps. “That it was bound to fail from the start. It was never going to work.”

“But…” she stutters. “It was going so well. I don’t understand? What changed?”

I finally manage to reach her side. Her confused, lost side, and it pains me, but what pains me even more? Holding back from the truth a second longer.

“What changed, Hazel…” I begin, “is that somewhere along the way, instead of falling for Amira, I fell for my best friend.”

Hazel’s eyes widen and without an ounce of hesitation, I watch as her hands begin to tremble.

“I made a mistake, Hazel.” I refuse to let up despite how badly I want to pull her into my arms and feel her touch against my own. “I thought that this plan was what I wanted. For us both to find someone, but I was stupid. So stupid, Hazel, because….”

I can’t help but reach out for her hand. It’s soft, cold, yet as I bring it to my chest, it warms my heart as I say, “All along, it’s been you . It’s always been you.”

I can feel my heart pounding out of my chest as I bask in her blank, almost wide-eyed stare.

She’s beautiful, she’s perfect—she’s mine .

“I’ve wasted so much time, missed so many signs and brushed off so many emotions in an attempt to keep this plan going, but no more.” I shake my head. “I refuse to carry on any longer, Hazel, because out of all of the mistakes I’ve made in my life, my biggest was thinking that I could convince myself that seeing you with anyone else but me was a good idea.”

And just like that, as my truth finally breaks free, so do my emotions as I pull Hazel in for a kiss, one I never want to end.

Sure, I might be a man full of regret, but this girl, this moment, this truth , this will never be a part of that.