Chapter 12
I was pretty sure the daylilies and snapdragons sprouting from my garden weren’t there when I left for work this morning. I smiled to myself, thinking I would have to make something really special to thank Professor Dunbar for this, when I heard, “Psssst, Hadley!” coming from behind me.
It was Stuart, running up the sidewalk from his front porch. “Hadley!” he called out, still trying to whisper.
“Why are we whispering?” I asked, matching his tone when he reached me.
“I was trying to catch you without the guys hearing me.”
“What guys?” I asked, looking around.
“Lex and Merrick. They’re inside right now. We’re all about to have dinner, and I need you to come over.”
“Why?” I asked, turning my key in the door as he grabbed a couple of the grocery bags I was carrying and helped me inside with them.
“Because I can’t sit through another dinner with that guy, and you’ll be the perfect distraction.”
“Gee, thanks,” I said. “What’s wrong with him?”
“He’s a grade-A asshole, but as usual, Lex doesn’t see it.”
“What do you mean?”
“The guy sort of looked out for Lex when he first moved here from Russia and stopped the other kids from picking on him. So, I guess he feels like he still owes him loyalty or something. But I’m telling you, he’s a prick.”
“Is there any chance you’re wrong about him?” I asked, wanting to give him the benefit of the doubt.
“I don’t think so. He keeps calling me Stuey and tousling my hair like I’m a member of the Rugrats.”
I chuckled. “Maybe you should give him a chance. He’s obviously important to Lex.”
“I’m trying. I agreed to have dinner with them again even after I sat through the first one with him talking incessantly about how he was a star lacrosse player in college. Then he proceeded to explain the rules of lacrosse to me.”
“Well, did you know the rules?”
“No, but it somehow felt anti-Semitic when he did it.”
I laughed and continued putting away my groceries.
“Please, Hadley. Please please please please please…”
“Fine,” I said to get the begging to stop. “Let me go change.”
“Yes! Thank you! They think I’m taking out the trash, so I’ll just say I bumped into you, and you begged and pleaded to come over for dinner, and I couldn’t say no.”
“Don’t you dare,” I threatened.
“Fine. I’ll just say that I saw you going out to dinner all alone and being the kindhearted soul that I am, I took pity on you and invited you over.”
“Or you could just tell them the truth. You stalked me and then begged me to come over, so you didn’t have tothird wheel.”
“My version’s better,” he said, rushing out the door. “See you in a bit. And don’t take too long.”
I blew out an exasperated breath before heading upstairs to change into something more casual than my work clothes. Being in the classroom today really helped pull me out of the funk I’d been in when the day started.
I had called to check on my mom a few more times after I left yesterday and then again this morning. She insisted she was fine, and she honestly sounded better, but I still felt unsettled.
Teaching served as a great distraction from worrying so much, and my mood improved dramatically by the end of the day. That was probably a good thing for Stuart, because otherwise, I don’t think I would have agreed to go over and be a dinner distraction. I wondered if he was right about Merrick. Stuart had a flair for the dramatics, but he also had a knack for seeing people’s true colors.
I finished putting away the last of my groceries before heading to the guys’ house. I had barely knocked once on the door before it swung open with Stuart standing there to greet me.
“Hadley! Come on in. Glad I caught you before you went out and wasted all your hard-earned money when we have plenty of food for you here.”
“Subtle,” I muttered to him as I walked through the door.
I didn’t see Lex anywhere, but Merrick got up from his chair at the table and walked over to me with a huge grin on his face.
“Nice to see you again, Hadley,” he practically purred at me.
“Yeah, you too. I hope I’m not interrupting guy’s night.”
“No, we’re glad to have you. If I’d have known Lex had such beautiful neighbors, I would have invited myself over sooner.”
“Hope you’re hungry, Hadley,” Stuart said, saving me from having to respond. “Lex said it was almost ready.”
“I am.”
“Would you like something to drink?” Merrick asked even though it wasn’t his home.
“I can get it,” I said.
“There’s soft drinks and water in the fridge,” Stuart said, hooking his thumb toward the kitchen.
I walked through the swinging door into the kitchen to see Lex taking a pan out of the oven. He didn’t look surprised to see me, so I figured Stuart must have told him I was coming over.
“Hey.” I smiled at him.
“Hey,” he said, setting the dish down on the stove.
“Smells delicious. What is it?” I asked, trying to look over his shoulder at whatever smelled so heavenly.
“Swordfish.”
“Wow,” I said, impressed. “I didn’t know you could cook.”
He gave me a half-shrug like it was nothing. I waited for him to say something more, but instead found myself in the company of his silence, as usual. I had hoped we’d made some progress during our last outing, but his demeanor seemed just the same as when I first met him.
I decided to leave him in peace and went to the refrigerator to grab myself a drink. Just as I was about to leave the kitchen, I heard him say, “How was your mom’s appointment yesterday?”
I turned to look at him, surprised he remembered. I had only mentioned it once that I could recall.
“It was hard, but she’s doing okay. I’m just praying the treatment works,” I said. “It will all be worth it then.”
“Dr. Gremillion is the best oncologist I’ve ever worked with. Your mom’s going to be fine.”
He said it so earnestly that it was easy to believe every word he said.
“Thank you, Lex.” A knot had formed in my throat. I cleared it, feeling the emotions of the past few days wanting to spill over.
“How often does she have to have treatments?” he asked.
“Twice a week for now. We go back on Friday.”
“Any side effects so far?” he asked with a clinical tone.
“Just nausea and fatigue,” I answered. “Which I know doesn’t sound that bad, but I’m just not used to seeing my mom like that. She’s always been so strong. I think I’m going to have to toughen up.”
I smiled even though I felt like crying again.
“You seem pretty tough to me,” he said, taking another dish out of the oven.
“Oh yeah? What gave me away… all the crying?” Ichuckled lightly.
“No.” He shook his head. “It’s the fact that you picked up and moved across the country, changed careers, left everything and everyone you know behind, all to take care of your sick mother.”
I gave him a half smile. “Well, when you put it like that...” Maybe I did have a little bit of toughness in me and didn’t even realize it. I was surprised to hear he saw me that way. He just had a way of speaking—when he chose to speak at all. I thought he could convince me of anything.
“We all make sacrifices for the people we love. It’s not anything more than what your mother did for you,” I said, thinking about how the two were similar. Her journey of moving to a new country and not knowing the language with a fatherless ten-year-old seemed immensely more difficult, however.
“Yes, and she’s a tough lady,” he said with an affectionate smile, obviously fond of her.
I was about to ask him more about his mother when Stuart poked his head through the door. “How’s it coming along in here, guys?” he asked, clearly dropping the hint to hurry up.
“Everything’s ready. I’ll bring it out in a second,” Lex said, his words clipped.
“Great. I’ll just be right over here… in the dining area…right outside this door… waiting.” He slowly closed the door behind him.
“I guess we better get out there,” I said. Before Stuart drags us out . “Do you need help with anything?”
“No, I got it,” Lex replied stiffly as he began plating the food.
“Okay.” I could already feel the subtle shift in his demeanor. It was like our private bubble had burst, and now we had to get back to the status quo—small glances and as few words as possible.
I walked out to the dining area where Stuart and Merrick were already seated. I sat down next to Stuart, hoping to offer him some kind of support for his dislike of the man sitting across from us. Lex brought out the rest of the food, which consisted of swordfish, roasted potatoes, and broccoli, when my mouth started to water.
“So, where are you from, Hadley?” Merrick asked as we all dug in.
“I just moved here from New York,” I answered while trying a bite of everything on my plate. I was starting to think there wasn’t much Lex wasn’t good at. The food was incredible.
“What brought you to California?” he asked. Lex and Stuart both had their forks suspended in midair as they peered over at me. It wasn’t a secret that my mom was sick, but I didn’t feel like getting into it with this guy, so I told him a half-truth.
“I accepted a teaching position at Stanford as an adjunct music composition professor. Mostly introductory courses.”
“Music, huh?” Merrick asked, accepting my vague answer. “That sounds interesting. Not sure I’d be able to concentrate if you were my teacher though,” he said with that lazy smile. He definitely had flirting down pat.
“What is it that you do for a living?” I asked, trying to be polite.
“I work for a shipping company. Loading and unloading containers from overseas,” he said. “It’s a lot of physical labor. Never really had the brains like my friend here to do much else.” He shoved Lex’s shoulder playfully. “He was always the smartest guy in our school. The smartest guy in every room, really.”
Well, that seemed kind and actually quite genuine. Hopefully, Stuart was reading him wrong.
“How long have you two known each other?” I asked.
“Since the fifthgrade,” Merrick answered. “He was just this scrawny kid from Russia. Barely spoke English. I had to fight off a couple of jackasses who bloodied his nose one day. We’ve been friends ever since.”
“That’s nice that you looked out for him.” I looked to Lex, who seemed happy to let Merrick tell the story.
“I remember this one time freshman year of high school, Lex was tutoring this gorgeous blonde a few years older than us. Her boyfriend was a senior and captain of the football team, and he didn’t appreciate all the after-school hours his girlfriend was spending with her new tutor. He cornered Lex in the locker room one day and warned him to stay away from his girlfriend. Well, Lex flat-out refuses… I think he had a thing for Ms. Stephanie Akers.” He looked over at Lex. Lex didn’t look up from his food, but I noticed his shoulders had tensed. He remained silent, chewing with deliberate care. “So, the meathead boyfriend decides to get a couple of his football cronies together and planned to jump Lex in front of her in the parking lot after one of their tutoring sessions to teach them both a lesson.”
“Where did you guys go to school… Rikers?” Stuart chimed in, which Merrick ignored.
“I caught wind of the whole thing and got a couple buddies of my own from our old neighborhood to join me after school that day. The look on these guys’ faces when these kids from the south side of Chicago walked out with Lex, carrying bats and crowbars, was priceless,” he said, laughing heartily. “They tucked tail and never messed with him again. Can’t say the same for the girlfriend though. I think he roughed her up a bit.”
Lex had gone completely still, staring down at his plate. I could tell how much this memory still bothered him even though he hadn’t said a word.
“That’s horrible,” I said.
Merrick slapped a hand on Lex’s shoulder. “Tell the truth man. Did you ever have anything going with that girl?”
“No,” Lex replied bluntly. “She was a nice girl in a bad situation.”
Merrick let go of his shoulder and continued eating. “You were always such a chicken with the ladies,” he said through a mouth full of potatoes. “Remember Mindy Davies?”
Lex’s eyes narrowed a fraction. “What about her?”
“She was practically in love with you, and you still never made a move.”
“Mindy and I had nothing to talk about. When I told her I moved here from Russia, she said she would love to take a road trip there someday.”
“Who said anything about talking to her?” Merrick said, smirking.
And with that, I was pretty much convinced Stuart was right about Merrick.
“Now that you mention it, Mindy did tell me you tried hooking up with her on multiple occasions,” Lex said, staring directly at Merrick.
Stuart and I froze, looking between the two of them, feeling the tension turn up a few notches.
Merrick seemed to be fumbling for a few seconds before he recovered his cocky grin. “Yeah, well, you said it yourself—you didn’t think she was smart enough for you,” he said before turning toward me. “Careful, Hadley. If you don’t know the capital of Florida, Lex may never speak to you again.”
Lex ignored that last comment. “Mindy turned you down though, right?”
“Yeah, so?” Merrick said, his irritation breaking through that confident facade.
“So maybe she's smarter than I thought.”
I was biting my lip, trying not to laugh, but Stuart gave no such effort as he howled with laughter.
“No, I think you were right about her,” Merrick said, trying to save face. “The few times I talked to her, I was thinking there must be a village somewhere missing an idiot.”
“I don’t know. I think we should give her more credit. After all, she was able to see straight through your bullshit,” Lex said, still fixing Merrick with a hard stare. “I think most women can.”
Lex glanced pointedly toward me with that last remark. Merrick followed his gaze until both men were staring at me. I grinned at Lex, and I thought I saw his lip quirk before he resumed eating.
“Man, you’ve changed,” Merrick said with a forced laugh. The underlying implication was clear as day—you’re not as complicit as you once were.
“That’s funny. I was just thinking you haven’t,” Lex said, like he wasn’t bothered in the least.
I could see the glaring difference between the two of them in that moment. Merrick was all smiles and bravado while Lex had a quiet indifference that seemed even more lethal.
“Thanks again for having me over, guys. I haven’t had food this good in a long time.” I said, mostly to Lex, trying to steer the conversation in another direction.
“Now you understand why I keep rooming with him,” Stuart said.
“Can your boyfriend not cook, Hadley?” Merrick asked, shaking off his awkward interaction with Lex.
“No, he has a hard time picking up the spatula with his giant hulk hands,” Stuart said, making me snort as I was taking a sip of my drink.
“What was that?” Merrick looked completely lost.
“It was a joke,” I explained. “I’m single.”
“How’s a girl like you single?”
“Isn’t it obvious?” Stuart said. “Her hideous appearance runs them all off. They call her the Quasimodo of Stanford.”
I put my middle finger up against my cheek, pretending to scratch it.
“I know damn well that’s not true,” Merrick said with his self-assured demeanor fully restored. “You weren’t seeing anyone back in New York?”
“Yes, I was dating a guy for a while before I moved here,” I answered.
I glanced over and noticed Lex's eyes were squarely on me, sending an inexplicable wave of nervousness through me.
“What happened with that?” Merrick asked.
“He’s a great guy. We got along really well, but I knew long distance would never work," I answered. "I don't think it ever really works for anyone, but especially not for us.”
“He didn’t want to move here with you?” Merrick asked.
“No, he loves his job. And I’d never ask that of him.”
He shook his head. “It’s a good thing you got rid of him. He’s obviously not right in the head. I’d follow you all over this damn country.”
I gave him a tight smile, trying to accept the compliment gracefully.
“Hey, you know what animal really gets the shit end of the stick?” Stuart asked, looking around the table at everyone. We all just stared back at him, wondering where he was going with this.
“Cows,” he said, answering his own question. “We raise them, slaughter them for the meat, but not before we take the milk meant for their offspring and give it to our own babies to fatten them. The final blow comes when we take their babies and charge fifty bucks a plate for veal.”
The silence in the room was deafening. We all continued to stare at Stuart as the seconds ticked by. The change of subject was so random, and the confused look on Merrick’s face was so comical that I couldn’t help it. I covered my mouth, trying to stifle my laughter, but failed miserably. I started laughing and continued to laugh until tears ran down my face. I knew Stuart had done it to get Merrick’s attention off me and for that I was grateful. Lex was shaking his head, trying to hide his grin.
“Do you think about cows a lot?” Merrick asked, still appearing bewildered.
“Oh, I think about all sorts of things. The spatiotemporal profile of altered neural reactivity… presynaptic spike drive plasticity… women’s volleyball.”
Merrick continued to look at Stuart with his eyebrows knitted together in confusion. He shook his head and muttered, “Whatever you say, Stuey.”
Hearing Merrick call him Stuey sent me into another fit of laughter.
“How’s your mom, Lex?” Merrick asked, probably done with Stuart and I's antics.
“She’s great. She moved back to Russia a few years ago to take care of my grandfather.”
“No shit,” Merrick said. “That lady sure could cook. What was that dish she used to make? The one she’d grill with the skewers on Friday nights?”
“Shashlik,” Lex answered with a smile. It was a real, genuine smile that he seldom used. His happiness at the memory was contagious, and I realized I was smiling too. I wished I could bottle up that exact feeling I saw on his face.
“Yes, that’s the one,” Merrick said. “You should make that next time I come over.”
“Next time?” Stuart asked, looking horrified.
“I never could get it exactly right,” Lex said, ignoring Stuart. “I’ve tried many times over the years, but it never turned out as well as hers.”
“I’d never had Russian food before I met you guys. Mrs. Strovinski converted me into a true disciple though. There’s a really great place in downtown San Francisco that I go to at least once a week. Nowhere near as good as your mom’s, but it’s still pretty damn good.”
“My mom used to say she was going to have to take out a second mortgage if I kept bringing you over for dinner,” Lex said, smirking.
“Yeah, well, it was YOYO night at my house every night, so she pretty much kept me alive all those years. I can’t cook for shit.”
“What’s yoyo night?” Stuart asked.
“It stands for ‘you’re on your own,’” he answered.
Our faces both fell at this revelation. I grew up with a single mom for most of my childhood. Money was always tight, but I’d never experienced neglect in this way.
“Don’t start pitying me, gorgeous,” he said when he saw the look on my face. “It was pretty common in the neighborhood I grew up in. Nobody’s parents were ever around.”
“I’m sorry,” I said, not knowing what else to say.
He waved me off. “Don’t worry about it. I was just lucky Lex’s mom took me in. I ate at the Strovinski’s almost five nights a week all throughout junior high.”
“She’s from a pretty impoverished part of Russia,” Lex said. “She knew what it was like to go hungry. She would never turn anyone away. Especially not her son’s personal bodyguard.”
They started to laugh together, and it was evident just how deep their roots ran. They were thrown together out of necessity and eventually learned to survive together. I wasn’t Merrick’s biggest fan, but I could see now why Lex had chosen to ignore the more grating aspects of his personality.
When dinner was finally over, Merrick made himself comfortable on the couch with a beer. I helped Stuart and Lex clean up before I decided to head home.
“What? You’re leaving already?” Stuart followed me to the door like a stray puppy.
“You’ll be fine, Stuey.” I patted him on the shoulder. “Thanks for dinner, Lex. It was really delicious.”
Lex gave me a quick nod, his eyes following me out. Merrick winked and waved goodbye from the couch. I closed the door on Stuart as he stood in the doorway, looking like I was trapping him in there. I smiled all the way back to my house, picturing him going to the window and pressing his face to it like he was watching a prisoner escape.