Chapter 20
T he butterflies were setting in as I rifled through my closet the next evening for something to wear for our date. Lex had texted me when he got home last night asking if he could take me somewhere after he got off work. Of course, I’d agreed. He’d been working most Saturdays lately, which now made me wonder with a pang of guilt if that was because he was having to take on extra work for the trial.
I didn’t know what to expect or how to dress because he wasn’t giving away what we were doing. He had called earlier that morning while I was still in bed, and he was already at work.
“We still on for tonight?” he’d asked when I answered the call. I guess we weren’t mincing words. I smiled. Was he really that unsure of how I felt about him?
“Who’s this?” I couldn’t help teasing him a little.
“ HA-HA. Answer the question.”
“So bossy.” I laughed, picturing him impatiently waiting for me to answer. He would need me to say the words to really believe it. “What time are we leaving, boss?”
“ I’ll pick you up at six.” His tone seemed more relaxed now.
“ By pick me up, do you mean walk across the grass?”
He ignored my joke. “Dress warmly.”
"Are you going to tell me what we’re doing?”
"It’s a surprise.”
"I think Ted Bundy said the same thing to all his victims.”
He laughed, and I relished the sound.
I smiled and said, “But if this has really all been some elaborate plan to get me alone in the wilderness somewhere to finally get rid of me then at least have the decency to take your shirt off while doing it. I might not even notice it’s happening that way.”
I could almost see the smile on his face through the phone as he said, “I’m really glad we’re doing this.”
“Me, too,” I agreed.
That conversation was playing over again in my mind as I tore through my entire wardrobe, unable to find a damn thing to wear. I finally settled for a tight-fitting, long-sleeved sweater dress that hugged each and every curve. It was on the shorter side, so I paired it with some over the thigh, high-heeled boots so that a little bit of skin was peeking through around my thighs. It wasn’t as cold tonight as it had been last night, but I grabbed my overcoat from the downstairs closet just in case.
Lex knocked at the door precisely at six o’clock. Hopefully, I was dressed okay for whatever he had planned.
I opened the door to see him standing there in darkjeans and a soft, cream-colored pullover, looking like a whole snack. His eyes took in every inch of me, starting from my face and moving down, stopping at the exposed skin on my thighs.
“Fuck,” I heard him mutter under his breath. “You look incredible, Hadley.”
“So do you,” I said. I usually hated first dates. They were always so awkward, but I already knew this man, and I was eager to explore all the parts that I didn’t know.
As we got into the car, he wasn’t saying much. He never did, but his energy seemed a little off. It suddenly occurred to me why that might be.
“Are you nervous?” I asked.
“Yes,” he admitted with a chuckle. “But I always am around you.” I smiled at him and he said, “If I’m being honest, I kept waiting for you to change your mind all day.”
“Why would I do that? I’m finally living out my mother’s dream for me—going on a date with a hot doctor.”
He laughed, and the tension in his posture seemed to relax a little. “I don’t think I’m the kind of doctor she meant.”
I shrugged. “Tomato, tomahto.”
I studied his profile as we drove along the highway. The squareness of his jawline, coupled with his straight nose and those thick, beautiful lashes framing his brilliant brown eyes had me wanting to crawl into his lap and taste him all over again.
“So, can you tell me what we’re doing?” I asked as a distraction from my own ogling.
“We’re going to dinner first, but then after is the surprise.”
“Am I dressed okay?”
He looked over at me, his eyes zeroing in on my legs again. “Not really,” he said with a swallow. “But I don’t think I want to stop looking at you in this outfit.”
My cheeks flushed at his words. “Is it the boots?” I asked playfully.
“No.” He was looking at me out of the corner of his eye. “It’s you.”
Now my whole body felt flushed.
Once we got seated at a small Italian restaurant downtown, I ordered wine, trying to fight the nerves as I looked over the menu. My eyes bugged out when I saw the prices.
“Holy crap!” I said.
His brows rose. “What?”
“These prices are insane,” I told him. “There’s no way I’m ordering anything.”
“Don’t be ridiculous,” he said.
“I think I’ll just stick with the wine and some bread,” I said, grabbing a piece from the basket.
“Hadley…”
“If it was good enough for Jesus, it’s good enough for me.”
He sighed. “I’m just going to order something for you if you don’t choose. We’ve had dinner together a thousand times. I know what you like.”
“Fine,” I said, choosing the cheapest option I could find. He ordered for himself and added two more dishes to the order that I knew were for me: pan-seared scallops and a black truffle pasta. Yum .
I looked over at him, still in disbelief that we were actually doing this. I was nervous but for the most part, I was absolutely thrilled. His expression was unreadable as he looked back at me.
“Can I ask you something?” His tone had me a little worried.
“What is it?”
“Did the fact that I helped your mom get into the trial have anything to do with you agreeing to come tonight?” He looked so dejected at the thought. “I-I never wanted you to feel obligated to me. I didn’t do it for this. I never even wanted you to know.”
“I know you didn’t.” The desire to comfort him was overwhelming. I reached out and placed my hand on his, making the butterflies spark to life even with this simple touch. “But I already told you how badly I wanted this to happen. I’m so grateful for what you did for my mom, but me being here has nothing to do with that.”
I wished I had told him before everything happened with my mom. I didn’t want him to have any doubts about how I felt.
“I can’t pinpoint exactly when my feelings started to change, but I’ve always felt drawn to you. Since I first heard you speak at faculty night, I’ve wanted to know you. And the more I did, the more I knew it wasn’t just friendship I was feeling.” I smiled at him, threading my fingers through his. “But then you were only nice to me when we were alone, so I figured you were embarrassed by me, or you weren’t really interested.”
“That wasn’t it,” he said, looking down at our entwined hands. He stared at them for a moment before he finally pulled his eyes up to meet mine. “There hasn’t been a single day since we first met that I haven’t thought about you. At times, it seemed like that was all I could think about. I’d spend almost every day counting down the minutes until I could see you again. But I didn’t think there was a chance in hell you felt the same way, so I tried to keep my distance. I felt like it was written all over me how badly I wanted you. I was always trying to hide it, but people noticed anyway.”
“Stuart,” I guessed.
He smiled. “He was always pushing me to tell you how I felt. But then I wasn’t sure if you liked him.”
I shook my head. “Not in that way.”
“He said the same thing. But I was still jealous of how easy your friendship seemed to be.”
“We care about each other, but it’s never been like that,” I said. “You’re lucky to have such a good friend.”
“So he’s always telling me,” he said with a wry smile, and I laughed.
The dinner was amazing, especially the dishes he had ordered for me. Damn him . I tried arguing for him to let me at least pay for my half of the dinner, but he rolled his eyes and ignored my plea.
The drive to our mystery activity took about thirty minutes, and I grew even more curious as we approached the shoreline of the Pacific Ocean. He held my hand as we walked along the dock of theSafe Harbor Marinato a small fishing boat that apparently was waiting for us.
“We’re going on a boat?” I asked.
“Yes.” He nodded. “I want to show you something.”
“Again, probably a phrase Ted Bundy has uttered,” I said. “I knew you were trying to get rid of me!”
He laughed. “I wouldn’t have to go through all this trouble if I wanted to get rid of you. I’d just set a bird loose in your house.”
“You wouldn’t dare!”
“Hola Alexsander!” a Hispanic gentlemen greeted him from aboard The Lady Kriller as we walked up.
Lex greeted the gentleman, who evidently was the captain of the boat. They started speaking in Spanish to one another, still not cluing me in on what we were doing.
“How did you manage to find someone with a boat in less than twelve hours anyway?” I asked.
“He owed me a favor,” he said with a smile.
“Do I even want to know?” I asked, and he chuckled.
There was a ladder to climb aboard the boat, which Lex used first before holding his hands out to help me. I shivered with pleasure when he put his hands on my waist to steady me as I descended the ladder onto the boat. The fact that I managed to do it even in this outfit was a small miracle.
The captain spoke in Spanish to Lex again before he entered the small cabin onboard that could only fit one person, so I knew we’d be taking the only remaining seats at the front of the boat.
“Sorry, he only speaks Spanish,” Lex said to me.
“That’s okay. I know you guys were just discussing the best place to dump a body.”
His eyes widened, and he gave a small gasp. “So you do speak Spanish.”
I laughed before tugging on his pullover. "Just remember our deal—shirt needs to come off that way I won't realize when my time's up."
He rolled his eyes, a grin playing across his lips. “Just keep your coat buttoned. It might get pretty chilly on the ride. But it should only take about ten minutes to get there.”
I started humming the funeral march, and he shook his head, his eyes sparkling with amusement.
We couldn’t really talk anymore when the boat got up to a higher speed as we made our way toward the open ocean. He was right. It did get pretty chilly as the wind whipped across my face. I pulled my coat in even tighter around me.
He leaned close to my ear so that I could hear him above the noise of the boat, sending shivers down my spine that had nothing to do with the chill in the air. “Are you okay? Are you cold?”
“I’m fine,” I told him, but my traitorous teeth started to chatter.
“Take mine.” He started to unbutton his own coat.
“No,” I said, grabbing his hand. “I have a much better idea of how to keep warm.”
I took his arm and wrapped it around me. He smiled, pulling me in close. I breathed in the scent of him—clean laundry and that earthy maleness. It started as a ploy just to get him close to me, but it really did help to keep me warm.
True to his word, in about ten minutes, the boat started to slow as we pulled up next to a cluster of large rocks about a mile out from the shoreline. The sun had completely set at this point, and the only light being cast was from the countless number of stars shining brightly above. They were so breathtaking. I was never able to see the stars in New York.
“So, I know it’s been hard for you adjusting to living in California,” he said, leaning close to my ear, the warmth of his breath fanning over my face. “But I wanted to show you something that you can’t see much of on the East Coast.”
We walked to the side of the boat as the captain anchored next to the rock cluster. After finishing, he went back inside the small cabin again, leaving the two of us alone again.
“Look just over there.” He pointed to the far side of the rock cluster where the waves were crashing over. I looked in the direction he was pointing and tried not to focus on his hand pressing against my lower back.
I had to blink a few times to make sure what I was seeing was real. The water shimmered with an iridescent blue glow all along the line of rocks. Even the waves seemed to emit a faint luminescence as they crashed against the rocks, each splash adding to the surreal spectacle.
My eyes went wide and my lips parted. “What is it, Lex?”
I could see out of the corner of my eye he wasn’t looking at the water. He was watching me. “It’s called bioluminescence. It’s pretty easy to find along the coast of California.”
“How?” I asked breathlessly. It was so incredible. It was like someone had plunged neon glow sticks right under the surface of the water.
“It’s a chemical reaction from various organisms living in the ocean. It causes them to emit this blue light near the surface of the water. It’s usually triggered by motion, which is why you can see it so well near these rocks.”
My eyes were completely transfixed on this impossible phenomenon happening right in front of me. I couldn’t tear my eyes away. It looked like something out of a fairytale.
“It’s so beautiful.” The smile I was wearing felt fixed to my face. “I don’t think I’ll ever want to leave.”
“We have some time. Look as long as you want,” he said in a hushed tone.
Second only to helping my mom get into the trial, this was the most amazing thing anyone had ever done for me. Both gifts were from the man standing next to me. I looked up at him, and his eyes seemed to be shining just as brightly as the water, but they were even more beautiful to me.
“Okay, but I think I’m starting to get cold again,” I lied as I took his arms and wrapped them around me, my back pressing into his chest. He laughed softly, pulling me in closer as I looked out, watching the bright blue water dancing across the rock line. The moment was so perfect with the ethereal glow of the moonlight shining above us in the stillness of the night… I couldn’t help myself. My brain was always thinking musically, and there was one song in particular playing through my mind.
“When the night has come,” I started to sing softly. “And the land is dark. And the moon is the only light we’ll see. No, I won’t be afraid. Oh, I won’t be afraid. Just as long as you stand, stand by me.”
He leaned down and his breath tickled my ear as he said, “I could listen to that sound all my life and never grow tired of it.”
I turned in his arms to look up at him. His eyes moved over my face with infinite tenderness before his gaze locked with mine.
“I know I’ve already said it and so has everyone else at this point, but would it be crazy if I told you again how incredibly beautiful you are?”
I smiled. “Not when it’s coming from the only person I want to hear say it.”
He lifted his hand to cup my face and stroked his thumb along my cheek. I closed my eyes briefly at the softness of his touch, and my heart started to beat rapidly in my chest. I could feel my pulse throbbing all the way up my neck. I took his free hand and placed it over the center of my chest so he could feel how fast it was beating.
“Tell me why it does that,” I whispered.
His lips were parted, and he was breathing a little more heavily as he lifted his fingertips to brush along the side of my head just above my ear. “Your amygdala, just here, is readying your body for fight or flight,” he said softly. He brushed my hair back and smiled before saying, “Which will it be?”
I looked down at his mouth, aching to have it on mine. “Well, I’m definitely not going anywhere.”
He leaned down and captured my lips with his. This kiss was different from the first one. It wasn’t rushed or full of the same overpowering intensity. It was gentle and slow-burning, leaving me aching all over.
One hand held my neck, while the other grasped my waist. I placed my palms against his chest and took my time memorizing the way his lips moved against mine. The kiss deepened, and I wrapped my arms around his neck as he pulled me in close. I exhaled raggedly through my nose as he took his time kissing me, our tongues dancing slowly across one another.I don’t know how long we stayed like that, but after what only felt like minutes, I heard the captain behind us clearing his throat.We pulled apart, laughing.
I assumed he told Lex in Spanish that it was time to get going because Lex took my hand and walked us back to our seats at the front of the boat. He wrapped his arm around me without me having to ask this time, and I leaned my head against him, feeling happier than I’d felt in a very long time as we made our way back to shore.