Chapter 32
T he nervousness showed on my face as I stared at the live image of Lex and I huddled together on the screen of his phone.
“She’s lost a lot of her English,” he said as the FaceTime call was ringing. “I’m going to have to translate for her.”
“Okay,” I said, smoothing down the front of my shirt.
He ran his thumb across my hip. “She’s going to love you.”
The call picked up, and a woman’s face appeared on the screen. The resemblance to Lex was uncanny. They had the same Slavic slope to their eyes and the same full mouth. The slight difference came with the eye color. Hers were a deep shade of brown while Lex’s were a lighter, more amber shade.
Lex greeted his mother warmly, and I heard my name being spoken through the Russian dialogue.
“Hello, Hadley,” she said with a slight accent.
“Schastlivogo Rozhdestva,” I said to her. I’d been practicing how to say Merry Christmas in Russian for the last hour.
I could see the surprise on both their faces as they smiled at me. His mom replied in Russian, and he answered her before they both started to laugh.
“What is it?” I asked, wondering if my pronunciation had been terrible.
“She said you are way too beautiful for me,” he said, grinning. “I told her I agree.”
I smiled at her. “You’ve raised an amazing son. I’m very lucky.”
Lex translated that for me, and she said, “Spasibo,” which I knew meant “thank you.”
She said something else to him. “She wants to know if you’d come to Russia with me. She’d love to meet you in person.”
“When my mom gets better, I’d love to.”
“Your mom is sick?” Lex said, asking as his mom.
“She had cancer. But your son helped her get the treatment she needed, and now she’s in remission.”
He translated for me.
“I’m very happy to hear that,” Lex said for her. “Alexsander would do anything for the people he loves.”
I nodded, and of course, tears started to fill my eyes. Her eyebrows pinched together as she said something to Lex. The expression on her face was so similar to the way Lex looked when he was concerned, it was almost unnerving.
He turned to me and said, “She wants to know why you’re crying.”
I smiled, dabbing away the tears.
“I’m happy,” I told her before looking up at Lex. “I like hearing that I’m someone you love.”
There was a fierce tenderness in his eyes as he murmured, “You have no idea.”
She was watching our exchange with a smile on her face. She may not know English very well, but love was a language everyone understood.
Lex translated what she said next. “I’ve always wanted this for my son. He works too much. I’ve tried telling him that this ,” she said, pointing between us, “is what is most important in life. Not work.”
I smiled at her, and Lex pressed a kiss to my temple. She asked me a few more questions about my family and my writing career. I was surprised by how much she knew about composing music. Lex explained that his grandmother had been an opera singer and was always passionate about music, but that gene skipped over him completely.
His mom was exactly what I imagined—warm, funny, and tough as nails. She reminded me so much of my own mother, who we were planning on seeing tonight so we could exchange gifts before Lex left for Russia. I thought of how Christmas this year looked nothing like the Christmases of years past. My mom and I wouldn’t be in New York to do any of the things we normally did this time of year, like driving to a Christmas tree farm in upstate New York to pick out our tree, or ice skating at Rockefeller Center. While I missed the nostalgia of Christmas in the city, I couldn’t feel anything but happiness, since Christmas would have meant nothing at all without her here with me. And there wasn’t a better gift I could have asked for.
◆◆◆
“So you’re actually going to stick this thing out with that Russian fellow, huh?” Stuart asked as we browsed the local music shop. I had more guitars than I had fingers, but one more couldn’t hurt, right? I had my eye on an old Gibson J-180, and I dragged Stuart along to come look at it with me for about the hundredth time.
“I think I am,” I told him as I ran my fingers along its mahogany neck.
Lex had left for Russia three days ago, so I decided to treat my loneliness with a little retail therapy.
“What do we really know about the guy though? Claims he moved here from Russia at ten years old, but where’s the accent? Explain that to me.”
“Pretty suspicious,” I agreed absently. I could barely hear Stuart over the sound of the rosewood fretboard on this gorgeous guitar calling my name.
“All I’m saying is you should have really thought this thing through before jumping into a relationship with someone who, to this day, is still confused by Groundhog Day.”
“That one confuses me too, to be honest.”
“What’s confusing about it?” he asked. “Every year an overgrown rodent emerges from hibernation, and we base our winter forecast on whether or not it can see its shadow… makes perfect sense to me.”
“Okay, but why is it always named Phil?”
“You have something against the name Phil?”
“No, but groundhogs live for like five years max. Yet somehow, every year we have the same groundhog named Phil telling us how much longer winter will be.”
“You know Hadley, the more you question these great American traditions, the more I’m beginning to suspect you’ve been in cahoots with the Lex character all along.”
“Busted,” I said, strumming the six strings of this angelic device. The sound was heavenly.
“Should’ve known,” he said. “But you can still get out of this, Betty. It’s not too late!”
I gave it another strum. “I think I’m good.”
He shrugged. “Can’t say I didn’t try... So, you getting this guitar or are you just going to keep drooling on it?”
“Her name’s Trixie, and yes,” I said excitedly. “She’s definitely coming home with me.”
“Do you have some weird disorder that makes you name every inanimate object in your life? First the car, now the guitar.”
“Something I picked up from Boris back in the Gulag,” I said before bringing my hand to my lips. “Oops! Have I said too much?”
He snorted. “Trixie’s a dumb name for a guitar.”
“Well, what do you suggest?”
“Something manly,” he said, puffing his chest. “The kind of name that makes women want to put their hands all over it. Oh, I know! How about Stuart?”
I smiled. “Trixie it is.”
With a small chunk of my savings depleted, we walked out of the music shop with Trixie in hand. It was just the remedy I needed to treat my lonesome heart. Once we made it back home, I scurried up the walkway, excited to break her in. Before we could make it there, however, we encountered an uncomfortable-looking Nicky. She was casting furtive glances around, as though unsure of how to proceed.
“Hey,” I said awkwardly. We would never be friends, but I wasn’t going to pretend like she didn’t exist.
“Hey,” she said in a somewhat friendly tone as we crossed paths on the sidewalk.
“Well, I was having a good day,” Stuart mumbled, but she ignored him.
“We were just heading in.” I pointed to my house, which she was currently blocking the path to.
She nodded but remained rooted in place. Her body language suggested that she had something more to say but was holding back. I lingered for a few seconds longer as the awkward silence stretched on. I was wishing this sidewalk had a trapdoor so I could make a quick exit. Eventually, I cleared my throat before side-stepping around her to make my way home.
Just as we started to walk away, Nicky blurted, “Did Lex tell you about the offer we got from Empros Pharma?”
Stuart let out a heavy sigh. “You really don’t know when to shut the fuck up, do you?”
“No, he didn’t.” I looked questioningly at Stuart. Why was it a secret?
“They were at the conference Lex spoke at,” Nicky said, not meeting my eye. The same conference where she had taken that photo in his hotel room.
“Anyway.” She cleared her throat. “They were very impressed with our work and have offered us more money than we could have ever dreamed of to finish the project with them. It would cut our time in half if we had access to all their equipment. They’re an advanced institute, and they’ve had a lot of successful collaborations with the teams they’ve funded in the past.”
“Lex is definitely going to fire you,” Stuart interjected. “That is, if he doesn’t kill you first. You know what? Never mind. Keep talking.”
“This affects all of us, Stuart,” she shot back. “Hadley might be able to talk some sense into him.”
“Quick question. What kind of flowers would you prefer at your funeral?” he asked her.
“I don’t understand,” I said, looking between the two of them.
“Lex doesn’t want to take the job,” she explained. “And he probably will kill me for telling you, but I don’t care. He’s making a huge mistake.”
I was still confused as to why she was telling me all of this. Why wouldn’t Lex want to take this job? What did any of this have to do with me? Then it hit me.
“Where is Empros Pharma located?” I asked her.
I could tell from the look on her face that I’d identified the problem. “It’s in Sweden.”
My palms suddenly felt clammy. “Sweden?” I repeated. My thoughts were racing, and the anxiety started to build as I considered what that would mean for us. But… hadn’t she just said Lex didn’t want to take it?
“I know what you guys have, and I’m not trying to ruin it, I swear,” she said.
“Sure you’re not,” Stuart grumbled.
“I know that’s why he doesn’t want to go, but you have to understand what this would mean for the whole team. This would be the best shot we’d have at a Nobel Prize for our work. The rest of the guys have been trying to talk some sense into him, to tell him that this is exactly what we’ve been working for all these years, but he won’t listen.”
“What do you want me to do?” I asked in a small voice.
“If you could just talk to him,” she suggested. “I know this doesn’t mean much coming from me, but I know you guys can make it work. We’re only talking about a year… maybe not even that long.”
“A year?!” I choked out. The current ten day separation was already killing me, and we were only a few days in. How was I supposed to handle a year?
“Maybe if you came with us…” she started, but I shook my head.
“I can’t leave,” I told her. I couldn’t leave my mom right now. Not when she was still in such a fragile state.
Stuart put his hand on my shoulder and gave Nicky a scathing look.
“Let me think about it,” I told her, already starting to walk away. I needed some space to think.
“I had to say something,” she said desperately. “You understand, right?”
I nodded, unable to speak at the moment.
“This decision doesn’t just affect Lex. It affects all of us. The company only wants to take on the project if Lex is involved,” she said. “This would change all of our lives. It would make Lex’s entire career. Everything he’s ever worked for will finally be at his fingertips. I don’t know that we’ll ever get this kind of opportunity again.”
“I’ll talk to him,” was all I could manage to say as I reached the steps of my porch.
Stuart turned on her. “Hey Nicky, in your next life, try and come back as someone actually pleasant.”
I didn’t listen to the rest of their bickering as I walked up the steps of my porch. There were too many thoughts warring in my mind. If what she was saying was true, I didn’t want to be the reason Lex wasn’t taking this opportunity. I couldn’t stomach the thought of us being apart, but would he eventually grow to resent me for being the reason he didn’t take it?
I heard Stuart walking up behind me as I unlocked the door. He followed me inside, and we sat down on the couch together.
“Was she telling the truth?” I asked.
He sighed.“Yes. It’s the biggest deal anyone in our industry’s ever been offered.”
“Do you think he should take it?”
“It’s the best opportunity we’re ever going to get,” he replied. “Lex’s career would be set… All of our careers would.”
I tried to fight back the tears as I nodded.
“But I don’t think he should take it,” he added. “And I told him as much.”
“What?” I asked, surprised.“Why?”
He shook his head. “None of the other guys understand. They didn’t see the way he was that week the two of you weren’t speaking. It would ruin him,” he answered. “He needs you, Hadley. I care about my friend more than I care about the money. I don’t want him to take it.”
I leaned my head against Stuart’s shoulder, feeling defeated. Lex couldn’t ask for a better friend than Stuart, and neither could I, for that matter.
“You want to come over? I could make us something for dinner,” he offered.
“No,” I said, letting out a small sigh. “I think I want to be alone.”
He nodded, and I knew he understood why.
After Stuart left, I spent the evening stewing over everything they had told me. I didn’t want to be the reason he didn’t take this job. I knew he would regret it. His team had given him so much, followed him across the country, even. They deserved this just as much as he did. Our relationship shouldn’t be the reason he was holding everyone, including himself, back. I would have to talk to him about it. I just wasn’t sure if he was going to listen.
◆◆◆
“Did Jace tell you what’s going on?” I asked Sarah the next day when we met for coffee at Peet’s.
"He just told me this morning,” she answered. “He said they got an offer to work in Sweden, but he doesn’t want to go.”
Surprise flickered through me. “Really?”
“He said he and Lex are the only ones who don’t want to take the job,” she said. “And then he told me that even if Lex changes his mind, he still doesn’t think he’s going to go.”
“This is all so fucked up,” I said, bringing my hands to my hair. “I don’t want Lex to go either, but this is such a huge opportunity for them. I don’t want to be the reason he doesn’t take it.”
“I know.” She nodded. “I told Jace the same thing. I said we could make it work and that phone sex is a personal favorite of mine.”
I laughed at her method of trying to convince him. It was especially funny since Sarah had worked as a phone sex operator on the weekends back in college to make extra cash. “Audio erotic performer” is what she’d called it. Funny as it was, she was actually really good at it. She would walk around our dorm doing dishes or folding laundry, all while spewing absolute filth. She could have written a dissertation on dirty talk. I teased her endlessly about it, but unlike me, she walked away from college debt-free.
“I don’t know,” I said. “It’s been a while since you’ve had to use your ‘special skills’.”
“It’s not a skill you lose, Hadley,” she said matter-of-factly. “Don’t worry. If they do end up taking this job, I’ll write some things down for you that’ll have Lex on his knees.”
I chuckled. “I don’t even know how to bring this up to him. He clearly didn’t want me to know about it.”
“I think that’s why Jace didn’t seem too worried. He said there was no way in hell Lex was ever going to leave you.”
I sighed. “What have we gotten ourselves into?”
“I blame you,” she retorted. “You set me up with the only guy I’ve actually cared about in almost ten years, and now he might be going away to help your boyfriend save mankind, or whatever the hell they’re doing.”
I paused to look at her before I said, “My bad.”
She stared at me deadpan for a few seconds before we both erupted in laughter. We laughed until tears streamed down our faces. If we were going to be miserable, at least we’d be facing it together.