The Shadow Prince’s Ruin (Dark Companions #2)

Chapter 31

Sylvan

I dip my fingers into my shadow, trying to convince myself that Hawk’s darkness isn’t gone , but that I just can’t see it.

But it’s not there.

I drop to my knees and pat the ground under his feet despite the agony in my shoulder.

“No, no, no, no, no…” I whine even though I’ve never been one to deny reality.

When I think about it, it makes perfect sense that the Sunwolf would cast no shadow of his own, that it would disperse under the force of Sunlight inside him. I just don’t want to believe it, because the implications are my worst nightmare.

I cover my face and sob.

It’s a shameful moment, which not only lays bare all my insecurities and weaknesses but also once again punishes the man I love for having the audacity to risk his life for mine. I should suffer in silence. I should cover my grief with a smile and offer my gratitude, but I cannot bring myself to do it. The wound is so fresh, and it already festers.

Hawk doesn’t move. Doesn’t speak. He’s silent, as if I’ve struck him in the face while I let myself mourn a future that will never come.

“Sylvan?” he asks after endless moments, so quietly I barely hear him over the dull thud of my own heart.

“Everything is gone. The mask, your shadow…” I utter through tears and sit at his feet. I’m almost angry the carpet of moss and clover is so soft under me, because I deserve to suffer for the mistakes I made. It’s all my fault. Why did I insist on picking the marroweed for Hawk, if he didn’t want me to? “This whole endeavor has been for nothing.”

Hawk exhales, and I watch him sit cross-legged only two paces away. He combs his fingers through the undergrowth between us. “I didn’t want this to happen.”

The black hole that opens up inside me is darker and deeper than Hawk’s shadow was. I have no strength left to fight my tears. “Of course you didn’t. You only wanted to save our lives, but it doesn’t matter that it’s not your fault. I didn’t plan this well enough, I took the opportunities that presented themselves, and now here we are, with no leverage at court, and you’re still attached to me , a banished prince who has no right to be here. It means that you will be hunted just as I am, and I can’t protect you because I am now useless.

“For but a moment, I had a power so pure, so primal, it felt endless. It was at my command, even if I still needed to learn how to truly wield it. Now I never will. I'm back to being nothing. You’d be better off with me dead.”

I once more hide my face, because my tears are too embarrassing. I am and have always been a shame to my family. Now, I am also a burden to the man I love.

I flinch when he touches my shoulders, because he deserves so much more than what I, the last disgraced blood the Goldweeds, can offer. But then he’s close, pushing his chest against my face, and I cannot deny myself the comfort of his presence. That new note in his scent—like hot rock and fresh air—soothes my tattered soul, and I let him cradle me.

His heart beats even faster than mine, and I relish its comforting rhythm, which is already so familiar, even though we made the shadow bond only three days back. I jerk my head up, staring into the pots of black his eyes have become, and relief loosens some of the knots inside me. I feared our bond would be gone along with his shadow, but I still feel his presence at the core of my being.

I don’t know how, and I don’t even know if it’s a good thing, but I still grab onto it like a lifeline. Its presence means I can never have another Dark Companion, and I will never know power again, but I won’t say it out loud to avoid hurting Hawk again. He is my forever Companion for better or worse, and the only way our bond can be severed is through death.

“Don’t say such bad things about yourself,” Hawk tells me in a tight voice. His palms slide up my neck and clasp my face in a tender gesture.

I shake my head, but look into his eyes, no longer ashamed of my tears. “It’s true, and I have never been one to deny reality. You are bound to an elf of very little value, and because of the mask, you will have a target on your back. You could have gone to Canada and started a new life, but I dragged you here.”

I mourn the loss of his deep green eyes too, but his face remains expressive, twisting into a scowl as he gives me a gentle shake. “That’s for me to decide, isn’t it? I did not get together with you because you’re a prince. You’re still the same guy.”

I shrug, then wince in pain. At least the physical discomfort is there to distract me from the hole in my heart. “I just don’t have much to offer you now. I promised you a place at court, protection, and position. I can provide none of that as a vagrant with barely any shadow.”

Hawk rubs his face with his injured hand and laughs. “Well, at least now I won’t feel guilty over being wanted myself. We’re officially in the same boat. And, by the way, you’re still much smarter and more knowledgeable about this world than I could ever be. Your value to me isn’t in what you can provide .”

I remember the marroweed flowers and pull them out of my bag. “At least we can heal your finger now.”

Hawk shakes his head. “No, we should start with your shoulder. If there’s any of that flower left, we’ll use it on my finger, but you are my lifeline here, and you need to be okay.”

With Hawk’s help, I take off my shirt and jacket. I can’t believe I got married in those just days ago.

“You now hold the power of the Sunwolf,” I say. “I am a burden with a bit of useful knowledge and barely any survival skills.” Still, I gently tug on our bond, hoping he can sense it too. It’s still like a thread of my darkness, but now, in some mystical way, instead of being tied to his shadow, it feels attached to his very soul.

Hawk lets out a wolflike huff and rubs his cheek against mine. “I wouldn’t have that power if it wasn’t for you. Hell, if it wasn’t for you, I’d either be rotting in a cell by now, or dead! It doesn’t matter to me at all that you don’t have much shadow magic, or that you no longer are someone at court. Your family’s taught you to hate yourself, and I will make you unlearn it,” he says, stroking my cheeks with both his thumbs, as if he’s trying to wipe away all my worries. “I knew I wanted you the moment I saw you, and the more I knew you, the more urgent the need to stay together became. You’re smart, and different, and speak so beautifully I can just listen for hours. You’re so strong but also so gentle. You’re sweet, even if you don’t want people to know. You’re funny, and brave, and so determined. You chose me. No one’s ever chosen me. When I’m with you, everything seems so fucking bright, even when there’s no light. I never want to lose that.”

It’s as if he’s sending heartbeats down our bond so I can feel just how much he means it. I’ve never been this soothed. Not even as a baby.

“I love you. We’ll survive this as long as we’re together.” I want to believe it. Hawk is my anchor, and maybe if we stick with each other, he won’t get lost at the bottom of the sea, and I will not be left adrift.

He nods and kisses me. Even if I didn’t have the benefit of our magical bond, the sincerity of the way he touches me says everything I need to know about his feelings. I appreciate that about him. There are no double meanings to his words, no secret plans or attempts at manipulation. With Hawk, what I see is what I get, and I cannot even describe how much peace this gives me after living out my life in the viper nest that is the Nocturne Court.

Somehow, he managed to bring the same out in me.

“We will,” Hawk agrees, grinning.

I stall at the sight of his teeth, because they’re all sharp now, like those of a predatory beast. But this is still my husband, my Dark Companion, and such details don’t matter, so I let him kiss my forehead and whisper sweet nothings.

“Whatever happens, you can always count on me. Now show me,” he says, pointing at the marroweeds.

We don’t have the proper tools, so I show him how to crush the flower petals in his hands, then roll them to release the oils. We fall into an easy rhythm of me picking the petals off the flowers, and him crushing them before spreading the white goo over my shoulder. The numbing effect brings instant relief.

I can’t believe how at peace I am. Just moments ago, I was in absolute emotional and physical agony, and Hawk somehow manages to heal both.

I am not nothing. My handsome beast would sooner risk his life than see me perish. He put on the Sunwolf Crown without knowing how it might change him, all because I am important to him. Because he loves me.

“I missed your touch,” I say as he’s finishing up with the marroweed cast stiffening on my shoulder. I secretly kept a flower in my bag so there’s enough for his finger later. He didn’t question how much we utilized on me and applied a thick layer of the paste, just because he cares.

I’m so lucky to have found him, and while I still mourn his shadow, it no longer is at the core of our relationship. Maybe it never was.

Hawk licks his lips, leaning over me with a soft sigh. “I missed yours too. I was angry over you making a mistake, and between having company and being so exhausted every day, we never got to clear the air. I’m sorry.”

I stroke his cheek and look into his eyes, even though they’re a little frightening. It’s still my Hawk, and I have nothing to be scared of. As long as he controls the Sunwolf within, I don’t have to worry about him devouring my shadow.

“I understand. I’ve been brought up in a snake pit, but I trust you, and I never want you to doubt me either. I’m sorry you had to go through so much, and in an unfamiliar world at that.”

Hawk stretches next to me, resting on his side and using the heel of his injured hand to support his head. He bites his lip, contemplative as his fingers trail over my naked chest. “I’ve been duped many times. Worst of all, I killed for someone who lied to me because he thought I was too naive to notice. He used me. But not everyone is like him. I don’t want to stay bitter. And you, you will be my reward.”

An hour ago, the depth of my sorrow was so great I thought I’d never be able to feel happiness again, but he washed away all the grime and showed me that I am still whole.

Hawk’s lips twist into a sly grin when he presses his hand more to my chest. “Anything you missed about me most?”

I glance at him, feeling shy, but still put my fingers over his. “Hawk… since you awoke my body to being touched, not an hour passes by that I don’t think about the warmth of your skin.”

He trembles. I can not only feel but also see it, and by the time his lips touch mine, I’m so damn ready for him too. Those three days without his touch were like a lifetime of thirst.

“You were a very eager student, baby,” he whispers, moving his lips to my temple, then down to my jaw.

“And we missed our wedding night…” I gasp and slide my hands over his shoulders with my heart beating faster. I smile when he slides his leg between mine, because it’s clear we both want to reconnect.

“Don’t you worry,” he whispers into my sensitive neck. “If there’s any dangerous beasts out here, I will kill them for you. From now on, I will be your loyal pup.”

I snort. “The Sunpup.” I lost so much today, yet disappointment is draining out of me by the minute, and I’m shedding my past worries like a caterpillar about to become a moth.

His excitement feeds mine when I run my fingers under his coat, touching the broad, sturdy back that feels like a barrier between me and the cruel world that hurt me so many times. His flesh is much hotter now that the Sunwolf is burning within, and I’m already falling in love with how it feels on my skin.

“Let’s be careful with your shoulder, hm?” he asks, stroking my chest in slow circles as he showers my neck with kisses and scratches it with the sharp pins of his stubble. “Don’t want all my hard work wasted.”

“Yes, be careful with me,” I purr, finally accepting that I deserve to be coddled a little, that my man can offer me the safety I always craved. “I guess I just have to lay there as you do all the work,” I grin and stroke the small of his back as my dick hardens against him.

“Such a shame, got myself a pillow prince,” he tells me, again showing off his sharp teeth. I long to find out how they’ll feel against my skin. I open my mouth to speak as a dragonfly lands on the tree above, watching, but then his tongue moves lower, to my nipple, and I choke on air when I sense a needle-sharp edge.

My hand flies to his hair, ready to pull him away. It’s instinct. I know he wouldn’t hurt me. “Be gentle.”

He worships my body with every lick and bite. When I’m with Hawk, I don’t have to worry about my size, my shadow, or my status. In my man’s eyes, I’m not just enough . He made it clear many times that I am exactly what he craves, and so I relax, because while under his protection, there will be no knives in the back. Just pleasure.

He hums in agreement and laps at my skin, squeezing and rubbing my sides, until his chin reaches the tip of my erection, which strains the front of my pants demanding attention. I grunt, opening my legs wider, but Hawk is already in his element and rubs his face against my covered shaft.

“Oh moon and stars!” I exclaim, breathless and so eager for his touch I spread my legs wider. I look at his face, marvelling at the beauty of how the golden markings of the beast enhance his natural features. “I’m insatiable for you.”

He roars, and while I should be scared of the unnatural noise at the back of his throat, when he rips my pants off, dragging them all the way off with a single tug, all I can think about is the heat spreading over me like wildfire. I’m now naked in the middle of the woods, under the dome of trees, and I’m about to be ravished by the rarest of creatures.

Hawk licks my cock from the base, then flicks his tongue against the slit, and despite knowing how sharp his new teeth are, when he takes my cock in, all I can do is pant like a doe dying of thirst . I’m not afraid of Hawk’s sharp edges. They’re there to protect me.

I’m so aroused I tighten my grip on his hair, flushed and overheating. My cock throbs in his mouth, so hard and needy. I want to buck my hips, but he presses them down to show me he’s in charge. I let out helpless moans, hoping no lost hunter happens to stumble upon this meadow.

“So good,” I whine, curling my toes.

“My favorite meal,” Hawk rasps when he comes up for air, leaving my wet cock to cool on my stomach, but I’m so impatient, so needy that I push him down, wordlessly begging for him to give me head. Now.

“Please,” I mumble, rocking my body as Hawk covers his teeth with his lips, to protect me, and lowers his head, sucking me into the now-dangerous depths of his throat.

“Oh fuck, oh fuck…!” I yelp, though it’s the possessive way he squeezes my thighs that pushes me over the edge.

My eyes roll back, I arch my spine and stare at the stars high above while he swallows my essence. I’m floating on the waves of pleasure, up into the sky as I stroke my lover’s hair. I needed this so badly and didn’t even attempt to last longer. We can always go again if we feel like it.

I’m still gathering my bearings when Hawk pushes my thighs wide apart and mounts me by pressing his erection to my groin. His grin is that of a wolf’s about to take his satisfaction, and I offer myself to him, breathless as I stare into his handsome face.

When he moves, a soft heat rocks me too, and I bite my lip, trying to stay quiet, because we’re in the middle of the forest, and I want him to finish on my skin, not fight off bears.

“So good. You feel so good,” I whisper, hugging him with one arm and wrapping my legs around him. He makes me feel tiny, and for once, that’s not a bad thing.

His rock-hard cock slides over my skin, and I swear it’s even hotter than it used to be. It pulses with his need to come, and I give myself to him, hoping he will never bore of me. That I shall always remain the center of his universe. His movements are fast, jerky, and I can’t wait for the next time we have a more sensible, private place so he can thrust like that into me.

The friction between our bodies is exquisite, and while it’s becoming uncomfortable, the burn enhances our pleasure, and I squeeze Hawk’s meaty pec with one hand, causing him to shiver and speed up. He stares straight at me and breathes through his teeth, as if he’s already thinking about the things he wants to do to me next time.

“Mine. Tell me you’re mine.”

One look into those black depths, and I fall in. Or do I leap? The endless darkness in his eyes doesn’t scare me in the slightest. I run straight in, welcoming its embrace.

“Yours. Forever yours. Yours to love, yours to fuck, yours to come in.” I’m breathless all over again as I drag my nails down his pec, on the verge of scratching my way into his heart.

His black eyes appear glossier now, and he thrusts against me hard and fast, fueling himself with my words. “Yes. Fuck. We’re in this together. I’ve got you,” he finishes with a hiss, and liquid heat erupts on my skin.

I glance between us, greedy to see the next spurt of cum land on my stomach, but I also want to see his handsome face flushed with ecstasy. His brows are gathered, and a drop of blood rolls down his chin from where he chewed through his own flesh.

“Am I yours, or are you mine?” I murmur, licking it off.

He laughs, releasing a beautiful, raspy sound. “I might call you mine, but really it’s you who has me,” he tells me before resting his head on my chest as he catches his breath.

We rest in each other’s arms, happy to be alive, appreciating that we have one another. I eventually reach inside my bag for the only disposable piece of cloth I have—my handkerchief with the Goldweed crest. I clean us with it, because we should get going, whichever direction we choose.

Am I disrespecting my family name? Maybe a little.

But it no longer matters.