Chapter 42
Hawk
D reams have always escaped my grasp, dispersing the moment I woke up, but as I curled up in the dungeon, trying to forget that I might stay there forever, dense waves of fantastical images carried me away from the shores of consciousness and straight into the depths.
There was no regret there, nor pain, just cozy warmth that brought me back to my childhood and the delicious Summer mornings in the woods. I used to stretch in the moss, pick fresh berries straight from the bushes, and enjoy the sun on my skin, half asleep and content.
Going back to that state is like coming home.
Time does not matter.
I have no obligations beyond staying put so I don’t endanger anyone.
My consciousness drifts on the surface of the calmest of oceans.
Then, in a flash, an icy stream washes over me, taking my breath, and carries me away from the nothingness in the middle of the ocean, back toward the beach of sharp rocks. It’s going too fast. I see the pink clouds above turn an angry red shade, and lightning tears the sky in half as blood rain falls, splashing my cheeks and filling my open mouth.
As the wave clashes with the shore and sharp gravel tears into my skin, the dream fades, gone like an old memory.
I taste blood and iron.
Sylvan is stroking the sides of my head. Oh, I would recognize his touch anywhere.
Has he returned to me?
No. He shouldn’t have. He promised. I must still be dreaming.
“Let go of him!” A female voice yells.
The world around me is a blur, but I spot a bright red light where the woman is. She’s… on the ground? Shooting a bow into the sky?
I’m so confused when the arrow with a bright red tip flies up in a sea of colorful smoke, but the edges around me sharpen, and I sense it on my tongue again.
Blood. So much blood.
I’m surrounded by Sylvan’s scent, but it’s not quite right. Coppery, sharp rather than warm, as if it were coming from the very center of him. The smoky aroma of his shadow is gone too.
I can hear his frantic heartbeat when I spot sapphire eyes watching me from an unnaturally pale face. Reality clashes into me with the force of a freight train, and I let go of the mess of meat and bone in my muzzle.
A horrified whine leaves my throat when everything falls into place. Then, a howl.
No. No. No. No.
Crying wordlessly, I crawl on top of him in an attempt to give him some of my warmth, because he’s shivering, and it’s all my fault.
When an arrow flies over my head, grazing my ear, I look up with a snarl, because it might have hit Sylvan, but I spot the knight struggling to get up. She’s screaming at me to get off “the prince” .
I’m so frantic about Sylvan’s state I can’t think straight, but I have to focus if he is to survive. All it takes to change back into a human is the desire to do so. The Sunwolf’s form around me sparkles with sunlight, blinding me for a moment, and then I’m kneeling at Sylvan’s side.
I’m covered in blood, and there’s so much of it I struggle to work out where he’s most injured. It only takes one look at his leg though to realize what I’ve done.
From the hip down, it’s bent out of shape, bone ripping through his pants in at least two places. I must have crushed it in my jaws.
Me. I did that. I hurt him in this unspeakable way.
I have no memory of doing it. I don’t even know how I got from the dungeon to this clearing in the forest, but I am soaked with his blood, and there’s no denying reality. I wail. Then sob. Then scream at the top of my lungs, but Sylvan’s no longer conscious, the beautiful eyes I’ve fallen in love with shut, his slender form broken.
I tear off my shirt and rise, wrapping it on his upper thigh in an improvised tourniquet, even though I’m not sure if I’m doing it correctly. Everything is a blur. He’s so fragile, so small, and already lost so much blood.
“What’s happening?” I yell to the knight who is crawling our way on all fours at the pace of a snail.
I hear hoofbeats and yelling. A whole group of people is approaching fast, and all I can think of is that maybe one of them will be able to help Sylvan. My connection with him is fading, his heartbeat slows. It’s like a piece of gum being pulled on, and soon enough, it will become thin enough to break.
“Help! Help,” I call out at the top of my lungs as horse riders enter the clearing in armor polished to perfection. I tighten the knot around Sylvan’s leg and rise on my knees, waving to draw the attention of the knight riding at the front of the party. He’s tall, with skin that shines like the surface of a pearl, and a presence so regal I know he is important before he even speaks.
“Healer!” he demands, looking down at us from up on his unusually large and dark mount with a skull for a head. It only takes one glance to know this is not a horse at all, but a kelpie. The creature is dripping, as if it’s just ridden through a waterfall, but the man in its saddle remains dry.
Someone dashes through the ranks, followed by a small team in identical red coats. Despite begging for help, my first instinct is to growl as the elf squatting right next to Sylvan touches him without asking first, but then a smoky dome forms around my mate, and at once I feel his heart calm.
“Will he live?” the dark-haired elf on the kelpie asks.
The medic puts their hands through the barrier surrounding Sylvan and rests them on his chest. The elf seems young, but for all I know, they could have hundreds of years of experience, so I have to trust them no matter how much I want to hug Sylvan’s shattered body and protect him.
“I stopped the bleeding, but I cannot say for certain, Your Highness. He must be taken to the castle at once. His heart might not take it,” the medic finishes in a quiet tone.
I barely contain the sob rising in my chest, because this is not about me. I don’t know how it happened, but I’ve mutilated Sylvan. I have turned into a monster, just like I feared, and now he might lose everything .
Why? Why has he come back when I told him to leave me behind? Or was it me who hunted him down? I have no idea how much time passed since we parted. What if it’s been years?
Prince Tristan, who’s still sporting a bruise on his face, jumps off his own kelpie. I’m a big guy, but Tristan is imposing in his armor, and he is headed straight for me.
“What did you do to him?” he roars as he pushes my shoulders so hard I fall over.
That’s when my self-control ends. Tears fall from my eyes as I howl, hiding my face in my palms. “I’m a dangerous monster. Please… please help him!”
I’m inconsolable, but the punches I most definitely deserve don’t come.
“Enough of this self-pity,” the dark-haired royal says, sliding from the back of his kelpie. He might be clad in full armor but walks as if it didn’t hinder his movements at all. “Time to take responsibility for your actions.”
I attempt to focus on his words, because I know he’s the one making all the decisions, but my attention still drifts to Sylvan, who’s being moved to a stretcher. When Tristan steps in to help, I initially want to stop him, since he might be inclined to exact his revenge when my husband is at his most vulnerable, but the red-haired knight picks him up with tenderness and familiarity.
The dignified elf pulls out a sword blacker than the sky and puts the very tip at my chin. I don’t even attempt to get up. “I am Kyran Nightweed, Lord of the Nocturne Court, and Protector of the Nightmare Realm. You are wearing the Sunwolf Crown, which belongs to my family. You will either pledge yourself into my service, as Prince Sylvan promised me you would, or you will die.” His eyes are so intense that I have no choice but to focus on him.
“B-but… I’m a danger,” I mutter before gesturing at my lover’s body as it’s transferred, along with the shadow dome. “I don’t remember hurting him. What if it happens again?”
Kyran shushes me and reaches to my throat. I expect him to squeeze it in warning, but instead he grabs something I didn’t even realize was locked around my neck, and gently pulls me forward. “Not for as long as you wear this collar. Sylvan put it on you, at the risk of his own life. Do you deny the commitment he made in your name?”
“No! Of course not, Your… Highness,” I blurt out as Kyran lets go. “Please, help him, and I will be loyal like a dog. I will do whatever you want from me.”
The tiniest smirk appears on his lips. I have no doubt my future at his court won’t be easy, but all I care about is Sylvan’s life.
“Good. That’s what I expect from my loyal Sunwolf.” I half expect him to pat me on the head, but he doesn’t, and, to my relief, pulls away his sword. “Is your… bond with Prince Sylvan still there? I saw that you drained his shadow dry.”
I can’t bear that I took his power away, and I bite my hand, trying to contain the pain eating me up inside.
But his serene presence, and the slow, yet steady heartbeat I can hear alongside my own are still there, so I nod.
Lord Kyran scoots down like I’m a child in need of comfort. I feels ridiculous to be treated that way by a grown-ass man, a stranger. But right now, I do feel like some pauper wishing for nothing more but this royal’s grace, and assurance that all will be okay. That Sylvan will be taken care of if I just do as I’m told.
His gaze is much softer than before when he meets my damp eyes. “You can no longer be his Dark Companion,” he says, and I can’t help the sob escaping my lips. I never cared for that title, but Lord Kyran’s statement feels like a knife stabbed into my heart. He cups one side of my face and lifts it. “From now on, you will be his Bright Companion.”
Tears fall again, and I wipe them off with the back of my hand. “I hurt him. And I promised to keep him safe.”
Kyran sighs and places both his hands on my shoulders. There’s such comfort in their weight I find myself sobbing again. “He knew the risk of approaching a feral Sunwolf, yet he thought you were worth it. Be there for him in turn.”
I nod. “Yes, Your Highness.”
When he gestures toward a large black carriage with doors thrown wide open as the men in red coats carry Sylvan in, I crawl toward it on all fours, exhausted, scared, yet so very desperate to watch over him.
Tristan grabs my arm and hauls me up. I expect violence, but he pats me on the back and allows me inside the carriage.
The medic glances my way, their bright green eyes hopeful. “Sit here,” they urge me as Tristan shuts the carriage door behind us. “I do think we caught him in time. The state of his leg is questionable, but he will live.”
Whether Sylvan can still stand my presence once he wakes up, or not, I will be there to offer my aid. In any capacity he wishes.
I take hold of his lovely slender hand and place my nose and lips inside the cool, sweaty palm, hoping that a part of him will be aware of my presence. I promised loyalty to the Lord of the Nocturne Court, but it’s my tiny prince who truly has all of it.