Chapter 9

She was quiet when I drove her home. She”d rolled down the window of the truck on the passenger side and all but had her face hanging out.

She”d had a panic attack. I knew a little about them, and I”d guessed she was using a tactic to calm herself.

I”d done this to her.

I”d done this by saying fucking horrible things.

I”d said those things because watching Isha George had sparked a shift within me. I found myself wanting her with an intensity I”d never experienced before—and it wasn”t just her body that I wanted, it was all of her. Heart, body and soul.

Isha was full of surprises. Seeing her interact with the ranch hands so effortlessly and charismatically was unexpected. They adored her.

Eddie told me, ”She”s somethin” special, boss. She”s knockout beautiful but I want to take care of her, you understand? Not fuck her, but take care of her.”

Clay said the same thing to me. She had visited him again to help him with his shoulder exercises, though he”d told me that she hadn”t offered a massage, and he hadn”t asked for one. I was relieved because if I had to think about her hands on him, I”d go out of my mind. Already, it killed me to know that Ace had fucked her, that he’d seen her come as I just had.

Christ. I ran a hand over my face, glancing at her.

I”d never seen a woman as beautiful as her when she orgasmed. And I”d slept with some beauties. Right then, as she’d come down, the flush on her face turning dewy, I”d understood what Eddie had said. Though I did want to fuck her, I also wanted to take care of her.

But women like her, that”s what they did. They made sure a man took care of them.

But she didn”t want you to even pay for her plane ticket, jackass.

“Are you okay?” I finally asked.

She turned to face me. “I’m fine.”

She wasn’t fine.

“You sure?”

“Yes, I’m sure.”

Fuckin’ hell!I couldn”t get through to her. But then, did I deserve to? She has an orgasm, and you talk to her about sloppy seconds. I was an ass. That wasn”t news to me. But she rattled my brain. She did something to me that was indescribable. Something that no one else had ever done.

I was obsessed with Isha. That”s what this was. This need to know where she was all the time. Who she was with. Who she was talking to.

These past weeks I”d ignored work to be with her. I”d gotten to know her.

She was smart. No question about it. She beat me at chess every fucking time, and that was something new. She could talk politics, and actually discuss things that normally went over most people”s heads. She was charming. Once she opened up, she was a delight.

”I was sure I”d meet Kevin Costner, you know.”

I frowned. ”What?”

”From Yellowstone. It”s a show on the tele.”

”You know that”s not the real world.”

She put a hand to her chest. ”No. Don”t tell me there”s no Yellowstone ranch?”

I grinned. ”I”m afraid not the way you see it on television, darlin”.”

”I want to grow up to be just like Beth Dutton.”

I hadn”t watched Yellowstone so, I had no clue who the fuck anyone was. I only knew that Kevin Costner played a guy who owned a ranch.

”Why?”

”Because she knows how to kick ass and take names. I”ve always wanted to do that.”

”Really?” It wouldn”t suit her, this sophisticated, elegant woman.

She giggled like a child then, and I realized she was so painfully young.

”Absolutely. I want to be the kind of woman who can walk into a room and take control.”

I thought she already did with her grace.

”What do you want to control?”

”My life.”

I had begun to look forward to spending time with her. Clay had all but given up coming to me unless in cases of an emergency. During dinner, Ace was usually there, but he had Caitlyn with him. She threw a few barbs at Isha, which she deflected with dignity.

”You”re spending an awful lot of time with Caitlyn while your girlfriend is home alone,” I told him one night after Caitlyn had left and Isha went to bed.

”I”m doing other things, bro. And Isha is fine. She”s so busy in London that this is a big-time luxury for her. And I”m here at night,” he said silkily.

I couldn”t stand that he had sex with Isha.

So, I”d said the worst thing possible to her right when all I wanted was to crawl under her skin and become part of her. I was plagued with insane thoughts. Did she moan with Ace the way she had with me? Did she look at him with those expressive gray eyes of hers when he was inside her?

I parked the truck in front of the house. She was about the open the door, but I put a hand on her arm.

”Are you okay?”

”I told you I am.” There was strength in her voice.

”You had a panic attack.”

”Yes.” She wasn”t looking at me.

”Why?”

She looked at me and scoffed. ”Why did I have a panic attack?”

”Yes.”

”Oh, Rowan, but that would be telling my enemy how to wield power over me, wouldn”t it?”

I dropped my hand from her shoulder, shocked at what she”d said.

I watched her leave, and then drove the truck to the garage.

When I went back into the house and walked past her bedroom, I felt like howling like a wounded animal when I heard Ace”s voice. He was with her.

I couldn”t stand it. I just fucking couldn”t.

I knocked on the door, and opened it before anyone could ask me to come in. I”d thought I”d see them in bed, naked, but she was standing at the far side of the room, her back against the wall, while he was sitting on her bed.

”Ro, hey,” Ace said, grinning.

”I just wanted to check on Isha,” I said lamely in explanation.

”Why?” Ace asked.

”She had a panic attack at the Bronco”s Rest.”

Her eyes flashed pain.

Ace walked to her, and she put both her hands out, stopping him from coming closer.

”Did something happen to trigger you?” he asked.

I frowned. ”You know about her panic attacks?”

”Of course, I do. She”s my friend…girlfriend, bro.”

”It was nothing,” Isha said coolly.

She”d freaked the fuck out! It wasn”t nothing. And I had a strong suspicion that I”d triggered her.

”But you”re okay now?” Ace looked concerned.

”Yes.”

”Is this why you want to leave tomorrow?”

Fucking hell!

”Yes. I”ll stay in a motel close to the airport.”

Ace nodded. ”I wanted you to have a good time here, Isha. I really did.”

She didn”t reply to his words, just shrugged. ”If you don”t mind, I”m going to pack up and get some sleep. Will you be able to drive me to Billings tomorrow, Ace?”

”I”ll take you,” I spoke before my brother could. ”I have a meeting there later in the day.”

”But your flight isn”t for another few days. Why not just stay here?” Ace insisted.

”I can”t.”

”Did you move your flight?” Ace asked.

She shook her head. ”It”ll cost too much to move it.”

Ace cut in. ”Then let me buy—”

”I don”t want you to buy me anything, ever,” she rasped.

”Isha, baby.” Ace walked to her. ”Are you breaking up with me?”

She gave out a harsh laugh. ”Are you joking, Ace?”

”No. I”m asking.”

”I need to pack and get some sleep. Please leave my room.”

Ace turned to look at me, and then at Isha. ”I”m so sorry for…well, everything.”

She said nothing, just stood like a statue.

Ace went to her and kissed her forehead. ”Have breakfast with us tomorrow? My mother comes back later tonight from New York.”

She nodded, her face expressionless.

Ace came up to me and put a hand on my shoulder. ”Come on, let”s give her some space.”

I walked out with him, softly closing the door to her bedroom behind me. We went to the bar that was built against the far wall in the living room. It was designed by my father to be a man”s room, with leather chairs and a wet bar.

I poured a Scotch for myself and Ace.

”What happened?” he asked.

I shrugged. I couldn”t tell him that his girlfriend dry-humped my thigh and got off, right after which I asked her if she”d fucked him recently.

”I wonder what triggered her.”

”What are her triggers?” I asked.

He sighed. ”It happened once in London; that”s how I know about it. She was at the bar, and some guy hit on her…well, guys always hit on her, but she deflects. But this guy goes off on her, saying stuff about her cunt, and then he puts his hands on her. Next thing I know, she”s freaking out, unable to breathe, and talking nonsense.”

“Like three things you can touch, feel, and—”

”Yeah. Thankfully, Yas, her friend, was there, and she knew what to do. She told me that Isha has panic attacks sometimes.” Ace ran a frustrated hand over his face. ”I should never have brought her here.”

”Why did you?”

”I…thought it would be a nice break for her. And she”s a fucking knockout, Ro.”

”But you don”t want her in the long run, do you?”

”I don”t know what I want, brother.” He drank some Scotch. ”Did someone touch her, say things to her at the bar?” he wondered.

Yeah, that would be me. Because I”m a fucking monumental asshole.

”Well, she”s leaving tomorrow. I don”t know what the fuck she”ll do in Billings for three days until her flight.”

”Four days,” I corrected him. ”Her flight”s on Saturday morning.”

”I wish she”d just stay here.”

”I think it”s best if she leaves.”

”Why?”

So, I don”t end up fucking your British girlfriend, brother, that”s why.

”She”s not right for you or this family. We need her gone, and you need to repair your relationship with Caitlyn.”

Ace”s nostrils flared. ”You don”t tell me what to do.”

Christ!The guy was an idiot. He didn”t want Isha, I could see it. He was still chasing after Caitlyn.

”Well, do what you want to do, but I want that girl out of my fucking house.”

”Just because Dad left everything to you doesn”t mean—”

”That”s exactly what it means. And he left everything to me, which includes taking care of you and Deb. Which is what I”m doing.”

Ace nodded. ”What time is Mom home?”

I looked at my watch. ”Clay said around eleven. He picked her up at the airport and they”re on their way.”

”So, in an hour?”

”Yeah.”

”I guess we”ll see her at breakfast.”

I watched Ace leave after he finished his drink. I poured myself another, and then another.

And then I did something even more monumentally stupid. I spent the night with Isha.

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