The Trauma Response (Give a Bookish Girl a Biker #2)

20. Chapter Twenty

Chapter twenty

“ T hanks for talking this out with me and going to the game,” I say.

“Thank you for giving me the benefit of the doubt, unending patience, and all of this,” Whits says, holding up her goodies from the game, which were difficult to get home on my bike. Evan really stepped up for me. I’ll have to thank him.

“You are very welcome.” I stop at the front door and wait while she unlocks it.

“I had a lot of fun. And if you’re up for it, then I’d like to hang out again later this week. I need to buy a car at some point, but after that, I should be a little freer to meet up.”

“I can take you car shopping if you like.” I really hate car shopping, but if she needs a ride, then I’m her guy.

“I’d love for you to take me, but if I don’t take Jackson then he’ll be annoyed and I’ll never hear the end of it.” She rolls her eyes and turns around to face me. “Thank you again for being such a great friend, Cai. I really needed you, and you’ve been so good to me.” She blushes and looks down at her feet.

“Hey, I’m just here to make you smile while you heal. It’s my pleasure, beautiful.”

“Stop, Cai,” she drawls. “You’re too good to me, and you know it. By the way, what’s with the ceramic cat?” She scrunches her nose.

“Too much?”

An eyebrow arch.

“Really? I thought it was cute.”

The other eyebrow goes up.

“All right, I ran out of ideas. Thor thought it was cute, so I sent it to you. I actually think it is appalling, and if you trashed it, I would not be offended.”

She giggles and takes my hand. “I don’t think it’s appalling at all. Mr. Whiskers is currently the most adorable paperweight in the history of paper weighting.”

“Is he?” I ask, drawing her near. She’s so close, she has to crane her neck back to look into my eyes.

I can’t help myself and brush my fingers under her chin. She closes her eyes, setting me up for the perfect moment. And I chicken out. My heart stops as adrenaline takes over, so much so, I can hardly focus on the moment, let alone the woman. Rather than ruin it all by giving her a hasty first kiss, I step back and groan.

“I gotta head home. Long day ahead of me.”

“You’re on shift again tomorrow? I can’t keep up with your schedule,” she admits. She steps back and frowns, making me wonder if I just ruined it.

“Me either sometimes, but it’s only twenty-four hours. I’m covering for a friend who needs the day off.” It’s so hard to let her go, but I finally convince myself we’re back on the right path and she’s not going to go rogue on me again. “Can I call you tomorrow?”

“Of course.” She pushes up on her toes and kisses my cheek, then hurries inside. “Night, Cai.” I’m still blinking in surprise when she waves me off and shuts the door. I stumble to my bike, wishing I’d thrown caution to the wind and gone in for the kiss regardless of my mental status. Who knows if I’ll get that perfect set up again anytime soon.

When I finally make it to my bike, I know I need some advice. I am officially out of my depth with Whits, especially because if I kiss her, it’s a done deal. Signed, sealed, delivered. I’m never going to want to kiss another woman for the rest of my life. I already don’t. I switch my phone to voice text and pull up the Baddie Bikers group chat. It’s already alive and running, so I interrupt everyone’s good time with my drama.

I need advice. Just dropped Whits off and there was almost a kiss. I chickened out as usual. Nothing has changed in ten years.

Holt

Look who finally decided to drop in. Where have you been? This chat’s been on fire for half an hour.

With Whits. I thought I established that. Help me.

Christian

You better lock her down while you have the chance. Lots of single guys at the office are interested in her.

Thor

Dang, that’s cold, Boss. He’s right though. Better get to kissy kissy time with that one. She won’t be available for long, not with those pretty eyes and amazing personality.

Holt

Kissy kissy time? You sure you’re a Marine? Just go for it, Cai. All in or walk away.

Chantelle

Who are you three to be giving dating advice? Seriously?

Thor

Not all of us are lucky enough to fall in love with our perfect match so quickly.

Christian

Speak for yourself.

Holt

All right, all right. Our friend is seeking romance advice. Let’s not pick on him for being a chicken.

Christian

Cai, you’re a firefighter. Women love men in uniform. Trust me, she was into you the other night at Brokedown. Just go for it. Kiss the woman and make her forget everything else.

Thor

Kissy kissy…

Holt

Go eat some crayons, Thor. He’s gotta be smooth. Take his time.

Christian

You literally just told him to go all in or walk away.

Chantelle

Sigh…sometimes I wonder why I’m in this chat.

Me too.

Another message pops up on my phone outside of the main chat. I back out and check it just in case it’s work, but I’m pleasantly surprised to see it’s Des. Sometimes he messages me privately, usually when he’s got something truly groundbreaking to say but doesn’t want to drop it in public.

Des

Don’t listen to them. They’re just being funny, but the truth is you can’t rush a perfect first kiss. You’ll know when the time is right.

It sticks with me. I can’t rush things with Whits, not if I want it to last. With each passing day, I realize that I want something so much more than a hasty, rushed kiss. I want them to be permanent, or at least, I want a relationship with her that could lead to something permanent. I always have, and the more I think about it, the more I realize nothing ever changed.

Or maybe things have a little. I don’t just like her the way I did when I wanted to ask her to prom, to the movies, or any date at all where I could tell her how I felt and pretend she liked me just as much.

Now, I love her. I love Tallulah Whitmore, and I have no intention of letting her slip through my fingers again.

I ignore the group chat blowing up on my phone and slip it into my pocket. I’ll take it slow. Let her lead. When the time is right, the perfect kiss will happen all on its own and then I’ll know if we’re meant to be or just a flash in the pan.