The Unexpected First (The Unexpected Series Book 2)

Chapter Thirty-Four

“What do you mean, you’re staying? I thought– when we were inside I said I’d come home with you.” I stumble over my words, trying to understand what he’s saying.

“Yes, beautiful. You said you’d come home with me. But, my home is here, with you.”

Tears prick at my eyes again for the millionth time since I was taken, this time for a much sweeter reason.

“You’re staying here?” I croak, needing to hear the words.

“For as long as you’ll have me, beautiful.” His shy smile is one I rarely see.

I let out a sob as I wrap my arms around his torso, my heart pounding in a staccato rhythm.

“How does forever sound?” I bury my face into his chest, breathing him in.

He snakes his arms around me, allowing me to adjust to the feel of him holding me close. I stiffen briefly in the embrace, my breath stuttering through the motion.

“Ry?” He pauses waiting for me to consent to more.

“Can we go to Jack’s? I don’t want to be anywhere that she’s been,” I croak out the request.

Grey doesn’t say anything, releasing me just enough that he can look me in the eyes. His fingers graze my cheek before he opens the door to his truck, letting me in.

My eyes jerk open, my hair and body drenched in sweat. It’s been like this since we arrived at Jack’s days ago. No matter how much I try to block it out, I can’t get through the night without the memories of my attack replaying in my sleep. Grey has been my strength through this, but I still haven’t found the courage to talk about what happened. Grey stirs on the floor next to me.

“Kitten, did you have another nightmare?” His voice is soft and smooth as velvet.

“I’m ok, go back to sleep.” My voice holds no confidence in the statement.

“May I come sit with you?” Grey has been sleeping on the floor since the assault, attempting to give me some space. It’s a fucking double-edged sword: I wanted nothing more than closeness when he found me, but now, the idea of being touched in any capacity makes me go into an uncontrollable panic attack.

“Yea” I whisper into the darkness surrounding us.

He stands from his makeshift bed and sits next to me. “I love you, Ry.” I can feel the pain in his words. I know he loves me and I know this is hurting him as much as it’s hurting me, but I can’t stop the lingering fear that this caused.

“I love you, more than anything in this world,” I breathe as Ellie jumps on the comforter, crawling her way over to us and rolling on her back so that she gets belly rubs. Apart from Ellie, I haven’t touched another living being since the hospital. She’s purring between us as I give her what she came for. Grey stiffens next to me.

“Will you try something with me?” He sounds so full of hope it nearly breaks me.

I hesitate for a brief moment before replying, “Yes.”

“Keep giving her rubs, I’m going to put my hand on her too, I won’t move. I won’t touch you. You control what happens,” he explains, his idea bringing a light back into my own soul that lost hope the day I woke up chained in that basement.

I continue giving Ellie the affection she came to us for as he slides his hand into her fur as well. I don’t feel him at first, but when my skin brushes his, a mixture of comfort and fear flashes through me. The memories of what she did to me and the passion that Grey and I have shared both overwhelm me. I jerk back, my eyes welling with unshed tears.

“It’s ok, beautiful. It was worth a try.” His voice trembles with the pain I know I’m causing him.

“I’m so sorry. I’m so, so sorry,” I sob as I run out of the room.

I end up outside on the front porch, noticing Benny sitting on one of the chairs Jack put out here to people watch. He’s such an old man.

“Ry?” He doesn’t ask anything else, just motions to the seat next to him in invitation. I sit down, my hands covering my face as the tears fall.

“When will this be over? I’m going to lose him when I just got him! All because I can’t bear to be touched,” I sob into the night sky.

“Sweetheart. It hasn’t even been a week.” He pauses for a few moments. “Have you thought about what Hadley gave you?”

“I don’t want to do it. I know I need to. I know it will help but it’s going to bring up so many memories. Not only from the assault but from Mom. I don’t think I can relive everything all at once.” The tears continue as I explain my concerns.

“Oh, Ry. You are stronger than you’re giving yourself credit. You’ve told me so many times how much it has helped Hadley.” He worries his lip trying to find his next words. “It may be for different reasons, but you didn’t cause this. You’re still trying to survive it.”

I stare into the night for what could be moments or hours before I respond.

“I’ll make the call tomorrow.” I sigh, not sure if I’m telling him or the universe at large so that it’s out there. Before Benny and I can talk anymore, I hear the front door open behind me. Grey comes walking out, his beautiful chest on display sending heat to my core.

Well, at least that part of me isn’t broken.

“Kitten?” he calls for me, the pet name that makes my insides melt. “Come back to bed. You need more than a couple of hours of sleep.”

I stand, smiling at Benny before turning to go inside. Grey doesn’t touch me as I walk by, holding the door open and staying at least a few feet away from me until I’m back in bed. He lays down on the floor next to it once more.