Chapter Thirty-Five
It’s been a week today and she was gone when I woke up this morning. If I hadn’t found a note on her pillow, I would be tearing the world apart. As it is, my heart nearly exploded from my chest when I woke up to an empty bed.
Greyson
Be safe. Call if you need me. I love you.
Ryan
Benny is with me. I’m fine. I love you, too.
While I find comfort in the fact that she’s with a police officer, it’s not the same as me being with her.
I walk down the stairs to see Jack lounging on the couch with a book in hand. He glances up when he sees me, once, twice, before he clears his throat.
“You look like shit, man,” he chuckles. “Get dressed. Hadley asked us to come over while Ryan is out.”
“If you think I’m stepping foot out of this house without coffee, you’ve lost your goddamn mind,” I grumble under my breath.
“If you go get dressed now, I’ll buy you Mud House.” His voice carries through the house like music to my ears.
“Fine, I’m going,” I yell back at him.
I’m still half asleep as I climb the stairs back to our room. I eventually manage to get dressed in a pair of dark wash jeans, a dark gray t-shirt and Tims. I drag my fingers through my hair while scratching Ellie behind the ear before I walk out and head back downstairs. We manage to get through the drive-thru at Mud House in record time considering how packed it is. The line is wrapped around the building and out of the parking lot onto the street.
After a fairly short drive, we arrive at Connor and Hadley’s estate. My Hellion has a damn estate, who would have thought? I chuckle to myself, my mind stuck on how so many things have changed since I left Central Falls. Once we’re granted entrance to the property, Jack pulls up to the front door. I barely open my door when Hadley comes out with Connor right on her heels. My mind instantly drifts to Ryan and how much I wish I could be that close to her right now. My guilt consumes me just as quickly, knowing she has so much trauma she needs to work through. Sighing, I exit the car, closing the door behind me and moving towards the front entrance.
“What’s going on?” I look between the two of them, concern etched across my face at the pain on Hadley’s.
“She’s fine. We just wanted to see you, to see how you were.” Nodding her head toward the door, she steps inside, the three of us following behind her. I look around, taking in the immense house surrounding us.
“Jesus, Hellion.” I couldn’t mask the shock in my voice even if I tried. “This isn’t anything like where we grew up.”
Connor outright laughs at my remark.
“I’m still not used to it.” She shakes her head, “But that’s not why I wanted you to come over.” She continues walking, leading us through their home.
“I know my trauma may be different than what Ryan has gone through, but I have worked really fucking hard to get through it as well as I have. I may still have moments but they’re less than a fraction of what they once were.” She sighs, gripping Connor’s hand in hers. “The reason I wanted you here is because it didn’t just affect me. My actions in the aftermath affected him.” Her eyes drift to Connor and back to me and I realize that she wants me to talk to him.
I collapse on the couch she’s led us to.
“I love you, Greyson. If Connor didn’t have his sister to talk to, I know it would have been even harder on us in the end. Please, talk to him. For her.” Hadley’s pleas invoking Ryan’s well-being are the only thing to trigger my compliance and she knows it.
Hadley leaves Jack and I with Connor.
He’s a man of few words. Stepping in front of a bar cart, he busies himself with the crystal decanter as he looks out a large floor to ceiling window. He turns back to us with three drinks, dispersing them between us.
“How are you handling things?” Connor’s question takes me off guard.
I haven’t thought about myself in all of this. My only concern has been Ryan.
“Honestly,” I pause, gathering my thoughts. “I want to find out where they have the two motherfuckers and empty a magazine in both of them,” I snarl.
“So, he’s doing well.” Jack snorts.
I glare at his joke. He’s always been one to deflect with humor.
“My feelings don’t matter, Con. She is the only one that matters in this situation. I’m not the one who was attacked,” I groan, tossing my head against the back of the sofa.
“You may not have been attacked but I know from first hand experience, the love of your life pushing you away isn’t something that you can get through on your own.” He’s calm in his response.
“I’m mad. I’m hurt. I just want to help her feel better and I don’t know how. I want her to feel safe with me again.” I stare at the ceiling as the words pass my lips.
“She does feel safe with you,” Jack interrupts. “You’re the only person she feels safe with. Haven’t you noticed that she won’t stay in a closed space with anyone else but you?”
I think back over the past week since we found her in the basement of my childhood home. Apart from the hospital, when she had to be and then to discuss the details with Benny, she hasn’t been alone with anyone else. My heart rips in half at the realization. I just want her to feel safe.
“I’m so in love with her, but I don’t know what to do. This isn’t how our story is supposed to go. No one should have to go through this.” I choke on the words.
“Your love for my sister has never been in question,” Jack’s voice cuts through my racing thoughts.
I raise a brow at him.
“OK, maybe there was a little bit of a question in the beginning.” He throws a punch, jabbing me in the bicep.