27. Chapter Twenty-Seven
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Amy
“He’s been acting weird,” I say to Eliza on the phone. I’m sitting on the edge of the bed in what’s become my room at Parker’s place—and we’re supposed to be leaving in ten minutes for the double date with Dalton and Maeve, the vet he works with.
“Yeah, probably because he likes you, Amy.” Eliza groans. “It’s so obvious. From the kiss on New Year’s to cooking dinner for you.”
“I’m pretty sure he’s just irritated that I set him up on a double date without asking,” I reason. “But anyway, I think Dalton and I will be official before Valentine’s Day. It’s less than a week away. Like, this is it . I can feel it. I’m finally gonna have a boyfriend. ”
Eliza lets out a sigh that causes me to pause.
“What?” I badger her, my voice growing slightly sharp. “Do you not like Dalton?”
“It’s not that. Dalton does seem great. But I just ... I don’t know. I’m not usually one to butt in on people’s love lives, but Amy ... I don’t feel like you’ve ever really dealt with the feelings that you have for Parker.”
“It was just a harmless crush.”
And a mind-blowing kiss that Dalton’s pale in comparison to...
But kisses aren’t everything.
“Yeah, and now you’re living with him. I’m not sure you realize this, but you talk way more about Parker than you do about Dalton. I can’t help but think that shows where your mind is—and your heart too.”
“Maybe that’s true. But that’s probably just because I’m living with him. I found a new apartment that I’ll be moving into on the twentieth of February, so I’m sure once I don’t live with Parker, I won’t have nearly as much to say about him.” It feels like an excuse more than anything, but still... Parker is my best friend—well, in New York City, at least—and that’s why I talk about him.
“Are you ready?” Parker calls from the other side of my door.
“Yeah, just a sec,” I call out to him and then lower my voice. “I gotta go, but I’ll fill you in later.”
“Just one more thing,” Eliza says, stopping me from hanging up.
“Yeah? ”
“Please try not to get so wrapped up in finding a boyfriend for Valentine’s Day that you overlook real feelings for someone.”
“Um, okay.” I shake my head. “Love you.”
She sighs. “Love you.”
“You look gorgeous tonight,” Dalton says as we arrive at the upscale steakhouse. “Burgundy might be your color.”
“Thank you.” I blush as he kisses me softly on the cheek. I take in the sight of him in his slacks and sweater. “You look phenomenal as well.”
“Oh, this is Maeve.” Dalton gestures to the woman standing quietly beside him. She’s got long, wavy auburn hair, and the freckles splashed across her face only add to her beauty. She’s gorgeous and tall.
“Hi.” She extends her hand to me and I take it, noticing that her eyes go straight to Parker, who’s standing behind me. “You must be Parker.”
“Nice to meet you.” He gives her a nod. “You look great.”
My stomach knots up as she blushes. Dalton grabs my hand and leads me inside. As I step through the door, I glance back, my eyes locking with Parker’s for a moment. He gives me a half-smile, but it doesn’t reach his eyes .
“This is one of my favorite places,” I hear Maeve say from behind me. “I used to come here when I first moved to the city. I’m from Connecticut.”
“Cool,” Parker says in a light tone. “I’ve been here a couple of times before with my sister.”
“Ah, that’s so awesome you have a sister. I have one, too. She lives in Washington D.C. now.”
“Nice.”
A nudge to my side grabs my attention, and I look up to see Dalton giving me a strange look.
He leans in, keeping his voice low. “Are you okay?”
I nod. “Yeah, I’m fine, sorry. It’s just a weird night.”
Dalton doesn’t say anything before turning his attention to the hostess in front of us. They have a short, nice conversation—all the while, Parker and Maeve are laughing behind me at something that I missed.
And I don’t like it.
What’s wrong with me?
I’ve watched Parker interact with plenty of dates. This shouldn’t be a big deal. I shake it off, halfway blaming Eliza for bringing up my old crush on the phone...
But is it old?
Or am I still crushing on him?
I blink a few times, trying to get my wits about me. Dalton pulls out my chair and I take a seat, seeing that Parker has done the same for Maeve .
Ugh, she’s gorgeous.
“So, what are everyone’s plans for Valentine’s Day?” Maeve asks once we’re all seated, waters have been ordered, and garlic bread is on the table.
“Well, I don’t know about you all, but I don’t have any plans...” Dalton looks over to me, shooting me a smirk. “Unless you have any ideas.”
“She’ll probably be accompanying me to a jazz concert,” Parker chimes in, his words causing Dalton to frown.
“Why’s that?” Dalton levels with him, furrowing his brow.
“The bet,” I answer before Parker can give any other explanation. “But that’s the same night The Band Allen is playing...”
“Right. But you’ll probably be seeing the jazz band.” Parker shoots me a look.
“Right,” I mutter, using Parker’s famous response that I’ve now adopted.
“Oh, I love jazz music!” Maeve beams, interrupting the conversation. “I hope I’m not being too forward, but if Dalton and Amy have plans to see The Band Allen, I’d love to go with you to the jazz concert.”
Parker’s jaw tenses, but I don’t think anyone notices other than me. “Yeah, that’d be cool ... but that would also mean Amy’s bailing on me.”
“Well, I mean, it is Valentine’s Day, man.” Dalton chuckles, shaking his head. “I might want to spend it with my woman. ”
I swear something in Parker’s eyes darkens, and for a split second, I think he might come across the table at Dalton ... but he laughs instead. “Isn’t it hard to call someone your woman when you’re not officially dating?” His voice holds a hint of challenge—and I do not like the look that Dalton just shot back at him.
“I think he was just being nice,” Maeve intervenes, placing her hand on Parker’s forearm. “He’s crazy about Amy.”
“Yeah, I am. I just wanted to take things slow for her.”
I tilt my head. “For me? What do you mean?”
“Well.” Dalton turns to me. “It’s just that ... I knew even before you told me that you don’t have a lot of experience with relationships. And I don’t mean this in a bad way, but you seem to be nervous every time we kiss...”
“There’s nothing wrong with that,” Parker says before I can say anything else. “She kisses just fine. I happen to think she’s a really good—”
“Excuse me?” Dalton nearly explodes as he turns to me. “You said you were just friends. So what, you kiss him, too?”
“No,” I say quickly. “It only happened one time... On New Year’s. And only because I really wanted my first kiss. He only did it because he felt sorry for me.”
“Wow, okay.” Dalton shakes his head, throwing his hands up. “And now what? You live with him? That’s a huge red flag if I’ve ever seen one.”
“My apartment flooded,” I say, exasperated. “I didn’t have anywhere else to go... ”
“Uh, a hotel,” Dalton snaps, pushing back from the table. “You know what, Amy? I was going to ask you to be my girlfriend tonight, but I don’t think this is going to work out.”
“Dalton...” My voice trails off as he shakes his head at me.
“Come on, Maeve. You don’t want to seriously date this guy now, do you?” He looks to her and then back to me. “He’s a jerk. I should’ve known what was going on when he was standing outside the apartment building waiting for you after our first date.”
The lump in my throat prevents me from saying anything more as Dalton storms out, Maeve hot on his heels and trying to calm him down.
Tears well up in my eyes as I feel the pang of rejection...
And then anger.
“ Why did you say that?” I demand, my voice shaking. Parker’s head drops. “You knew I hadn’t told him yet.”
“He insulted you.”
“He didn’t. And you know what?” I toss my napkin down on the table and stand to my feet. “He was just being honest about the fact I’ve been nervous about kissing him.”
“Where are you going?” Parker asks as I turn away from him.
“It doesn’t matter. Just leave me alone.” I head for the door, shoving my arms into my jacket and batting away my tears.
Parker follows me out of the restaurant and onto the street, but I don’t stop until he wraps his hand around my wrist.
“ What ?” I explode, pulling away.
“Look, I’m sorry, but you—”
“ No, ” I cut him off. “This time, it isn’t about me . It’s about you .” I let the anger bubble up, honesty brimming on my lips. “You’ve messed things up with every single guy I’ve tried to date—and maybe the first few times were for the best, because those guys were jerks... But Dalton? Seriously? He was a good guy. Clearly, all you care about is this stupid bet!”
“It wasn’t about the bet,” Parker says, his voice flat.
“Oh yeah? Then what was it about, Parker? You don’t want me as more than a friend, but you don’t want me with anyone else, either? Is that what this is?” Fresh tears stream down my face, and the realization of my feelings suddenly slams into my heart.
“Amy...” Parker tries to step closer to me.
I shake my head. “Maybe I’m nuts for wanting to find love so badly, but at least I’m not scared of it. I just want to find someone who kisses me every day the way you kissed me on New Year’s. And I’m not scared to admit...” My voice trails off as I think about my conversations with Eliza and my mom.
“Sometimes, love is in the small, everyday things.” I can hear my mom’s voice in my head, and my mind begins to replay all the small moments that have transpired between Parker and me.
Like the first time he walked me home ... and every time after that.
How he cheered me up after I got stood up. And bought my coffee.
When he took me to the ER after I hurt my ankle.
And rescued me from my flooded apartment.
How he opened up his home to me ... and cooked me dinner .
How he checks in on me to make sure I’m safe.
I shake my head.
No. It can’t be true...
“Admit what, Amy?” Parker’s voice is thick with emotion. “What is that you’re not scared to admit? That you love Dalton? And I messed that up for you?”
I look up at him, and for the first time, I see Parker as a little kid, his eyes full of past hurts and trauma that have left him unwilling to step out of the safe zone he’s created for himself. And suddenly, I’m filled with compassion.
I owe it to myself and to him to just be honest.
“No, Parker. I don’t love Dalton ... I love you .”
Parker falls into silence as my confession hangs heavy in the air between us. I wait patiently for him to say something. Anything. But as he opens his mouth to speak, no words come out.
The bustling city around us fades into the background, leaving only the echo of those three words hovering delicately in the chilly night air.
Silence has never felt so loud.
Parker breaks eye contact and looks down at his shoes. And as the seconds stretch into minutes, my heart sinks lower and lower, until I can barely stand it anymore. The weight of my confession bears down on me, suffocating me with its intensity. Tears stream down my cheeks as the reality of the moment settles in.
Perhaps I’ve made a huge mistake .
I wipe the moisture from my face. “You know what’s crazy is that even if you felt something for me, you’d never admit it. You’ll never realize that love is worth the risk, but I’m glad I was honest—even if it hurts. I don’t think we should be friends anymore, Parker.” I turn to go, and I know that this time, he won’t follow me. “I’ll stay with Nellie tonight and come get my stuff while you’re at work tomorrow,” I call over my shoulder, just in case he’s wondering.
However, he doesn’t make a sound, and I don’t know if it’s because the street is full of people and I just don’t hear, or if he’s really letting me go without even an apology.
It doesn’t matter.
It’s over now.
I’ve never really been through a breakup, but I’m certain that it must hurt like this. My heart pounds heavily as my chest aches, my stomach tightening into a knot. And the fact that Parker fell into silence when I word-vomited all my feelings only makes it that much more painful...
Eliza would be proud of me, though.
I did the right thing—including not running after Dalton.
It was never Dalton for me.
No, I fell in love with Parker.
And now, I’m really going to lose the bet.